by Skye Jordan
Gypsy obviously had other thoughts, because she sat on the edge of the tailgate, letting her feet swing. “Marty always planned to build here. The trailer he lives in was only meant to be a temporary place while he built his house. But life got in the way, like it usually does.”
“Speaking of life getting in the way,” he said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you what’s going on with the bar. You manage that thing to within an inch of its life, yet you always seem to be struggling.”
“It’s been rough from the start.” She flattened her hands behind her on the truck bed. “Marty is an amazing man, but he sucked at the business end of the bar. Once I took it over, I realized what a mess the books were. Turned out he owed several vendors quite a bit in back pay. They didn’t bug him about it because they’d become friends with him over the years and they knew he was an honorable guy. Knew they’d get their money sooner or later. It’s taken me a long time to keep up with the current needs while paying off the past needs, but I’m finally there.”
“What did Marty say about it?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t ask. He gave me a fair deal on the bar, and I may have paid for the materials to have Miranda build me the house, but he lets me live on his property rent-free. A little hard to complain about things in that situation. The debts weren’t malicious or underhanded. He just couldn’t keep up with the popularity of the bar, and I’ve had a firsthand look at how ominous that is. I’ve finally gotten myself to a place where I can afford a manager, which will help me breathe. And Cooper’s finally at an age where I can send him to some fun camps. Those two things will allow me to work for a few hours during the day and be home with Cooper at night. I won’t be the first line of defense anymore when someone doesn’t show up or the bar gets so busy, I have to come in as backup.”
“Things are always more complicated than they look, aren’t they?”
“That’s for sure.”
Wyatt sat next to her and took a deep breath of the cool air. “Man, just sitting here makes me feel like a weight has been lifted.”
“That’s always how I feel here.” She lay back, looking up at the sky. “But I come out here more for the stars than the view.”
Wyatt looked up, surprised to see a dense swath of bright stars. “Oh, wow.” He lay back, shoulder to shoulder with her. “I can’t remember the last time I saw a sky like this.”
They fell into comfortable silence, but thoughts continued to race across Wyatt’s mind. He didn’t know how much time had passed before he shook his head and said, “I keep trying to fit Belle into my life like a puzzle piece, but it keeps becoming a game of Tetris. And I always sucked at that game.”
“I think that’s your first problem. You’re trying to fit Belle into your life when you should be trying to fit into hers.”
He turned his head and looked at her. Lying side by side in the dark night felt wildly intimate, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it might be easier to figure out how to manage this if you put Belle at the center of your life instead of touring. You line out all Belle’s requirements, figure out what her days look like, and then you work your life around that.”
“You may as well be speaking Greek, sugar.”
“It’s what I’ve had to do to make the shift I wanted for Cooper. While I was struggling with the bar, it was always at the center of my universe. I fit my life and Cooper’s life around what the bar needed. If I needed to go in to cover, I pushed Cooper off on a relative. If I needed to work during the day, I brought him with me and made him entertain himself. If I needed to work on business stuff at home in the afternoon or evening, I’d put him in front of the television.”
“Okay, don’t hit me, but that sounds…normal.”
“It may be normal for many people, but it’s not the way I want to raise my son. Having Cooper at the center of my life looks completely different. The camp is not only a hell of a lot of fun for him, but it teaches him how to socialize before I put him in preschool this fall. He’ll learn all sorts of things I could never teach him, and he’ll make friends and learn about relationships with other people. By working while he’s in camp having fun, I’m freeing myself up to give him all my attention when we’re together.”
Wyatt was speechless. Her dedication blew him away.
“Hiring a manager is just as important as his camps,” she said. “A manager will eliminate some of the busywork the bar creates, but more importantly, I’ll be able to stay home with Cooper at night. I can be the one giving him baths and reading to him before bed. I can be the one he wakes up to, the one who makes him breakfast. That’s designing a life around my kid, not fitting my kid into my life.”
“I’m beginning to see your point,” he said.
“I know what it feels like to be an afterthought, and I never want Cooper to feel that way. I want my son to know that he is always my first priority. That nothing in my life is more important than him, and that I’ll always be there when he needs me, no matter how big or small that need may be.”
“Wow. The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.” He tried putting Belle at the center of his life, but the scenario just kept hitting walls. “I don’t mean for this to sound…”
When he didn’t go on, she shifted, crossing her ankles. Her body moved against his, just arm to arm, thigh to thigh, but it still warmed him and made him think about wanting more.
“It’s me, Wyatt.” She turned her head and met his gaze. “Just say what you’re thinking.”
That’s when he realized she was the only woman he could talk to like this, and the intimacy brought another wave of desire. What he really wanted was to postpone this conversation and kiss her. But he was afraid that would end with the front door of her house slamming in his face after he’d collected Belle.
“I see what you’re saying,” he said, “but running a bar isn’t exactly the same as touring.”
She held his gaze a moment, as if waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, she said, “I’m just going to get the elephant in the room out of the way. The bottom line here is that if you love Belle the way she deserves to be loved, your life won’t look like it did last week. The sooner you accept that, the easier this will be. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. Cooper has brought immeasurable joy into my life. Sure, it’s complicated. It’s hard to take care of him on my own, but when I make him my first priority, I find that life seems to fall into place easier.”
He heaved a sigh and looked at the sky again, hoping to get kissing off his mind. “To be honest, I’m not sure if I should have signed those papers. I’m starting to think taking responsibility for Belle might not be in her best interest. I don’t know the first thing about being a parent, let alone a parent to a little girl.”
“It sounds like you’re the best chance Belle has at having a parent in her life, and she’s going to need someone who loves her as much as you obviously do to deal with all the shit her parents put her through by leaving. That’s the kind of thing that sticks with you and filters the way you look at life.”
“That only makes it worse. Raising a well-adjusted kid is hard enough. Raising one with these kinds of issues… I’m clueless. My parents have always created a solid, unified front. They’ve supported me in everything I’ve ever wanted to do. I always felt loved. I always felt important.”
“That’s exactly what Belle needs, what you had. If you raise her the way your parents raised you, she’ll have everything she needs.”
“Will she?” he asked, half to himself. “Brody was raised the same way, and look how that turned out.”
Gypsy rolled to her side, facing him. She laid her hand on his chest, and Wyatt automatically wrapped her hand in his. “Why do you carry so much guilt over Brody’s death?”
He let all his air out. He’d never talked about this to anyone. It was something he carried deep inside his heart. Something that weighed him down. If he was going to tell anyone, it w
ould be Gypsy.
“I just… I wasn’t here when he needed me. And I know you’re right about the stigma of depression and how it can keep people from seeking help. But that wasn’t the only time I wasn’t there for him.” He stopped, collecting his thoughts, and Gypsy remained quiet and attentive. “Growing up, I always got more attention. Not from our parents, really. They treated us the same mostly, but I was always the extrovert, and Brody was an introvert. He just… I feel like he spent his life in my shadow.”
He’d never said those words out loud, and they tightened Wyatt’s throat.
“I was always good at everything—I’m not saying that to be conceited, I just mean that things came easily to me. Sports, grades, music, friends, girls. Brody always struggled. Looking back, I know I siphoned my parents’ attention from him. I mean, they expended the same amount of energy on us, but it was different. Like, they’d spend time taking me to games and rehearsals while they took Brody to psychiatrists and therapists. They fussed over my milestones the way they fussed over Brody’s medication. There wasn’t any way they could change that. I was who I was, and I needed what I needed. Brody was who he was, and he needed what he needed. But there’s no doubt in my mind that it affected him. When all my attention was positive and all his was negative, there’s no way that could just roll off someone’s back.”
A boulder of regret sat on his chest. He squeezed Gypsy’s hand and turned his head to look at her again. “I don’t want Belle to grow up in my shadow. And knowing she’s already going to have issues over her parents leaving only makes me an even worse choice to raise her.”
Gypsy’s expression went soft. “Wyatt.” She gave his hand a squeeze, and he grew terrified she was going to say he was acting stupid. “You’re really amazing.”
He waited a beat. “Amazing cool or amazing stupid?”
She smiled, then sobered. “You already know this, but I feel the need to remind you that there is no way you can take responsibility for Brody’s decisions. Like you said, he was raised the same way, with all the support and love your parents could provide, which sounds like it was substantial. And from what I’ve heard you say over the years at the bar, you and Brody were always close, despite his issues.”
He’d thought so, but after Brody killed himself without trying to talk out his problems with Wyatt, he doubted their relationship. And if that relationship had failed to provide Brody with what he needed, it was Wyatt’s fault for being so career driven.
“Your fears about raising Belle are totally normal. I was terrified when I thought about being a mom. Everything you’ve told me only makes it clear that you’re the best choice—the only choice—for Belle. You don’t have to be perfect. You only have to be you and keep her as the focus in your life. Everything else will work itself out.”
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.
“Parenting is a lot more instinctual than you think,” she told him. “And you have those instincts. You’ve always been good with Cooper. Ever since he was a baby, you’ve known what to do to make him happy. How many times did you come into the bar when it was supposed to be closed?”
“Enough to warrant a bill for all the extra hours.”
She laughed. “Not a bad idea, but not my point. I’d be carrying Cooper around in the front sling, and he’d be fussing. You’d take him from me, hold him in one arm while you use the other hand to pull yourself a beer, all while bouncing him and singing to him until he stopped crying. When he got older, you took him from under my feet and always found some way to entertain him until I was finished working.”
Wyatt’s smile deepened. “I love going into the bar when it’s closed. When it’s just you and Cooper.”
Just you and Cooper.
The words hung in the air and stunned him a little. Until he’d said them out loud, he hadn’t realized just how important they’d both become to him.
“Honestly,” Gypsy said, “it’s a lot of trial and error, and you’re lucky that Belle is old enough to tell you when you’re getting it wrong. With a baby, you have no idea. You just keep trying things until you find something that sticks.”
“Maybe, but that’s obviously not going to be enough with Belle.”
“My point is that you’ve got good instincts, and you’re smart, and you love her. You’re a better guy than I’ve given you credit for, and you’re going to do just fine raising Belle.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Her praise warmed him, buoyed his spirit, and gave him hope. “God. How am I going to tell her about her mom?”
“You write songs that people pay damn good money to hear,” she said with a smile in her voice. “You’ll figure it out.”
He sighed and shook his head. “And I have no idea how to start putting a life together for us.”
“Is she in school?”
Wyatt stared at Gypsy as his mind bent that direction. “She’s mentioned projects she’s done. I think she called it school. What grade are they in at five years old?”
“Depends on what month she was born. She could be in preschool or kindergarten, but she’s really smart. I’d suggest putting her in kindergarten if she isn’t already.”
“How do you pick a school?”
“You don’t, unless you want her to go to private school. Kids go to the school that’s in their school district, which is great for Belle, because you live in a great school district.”
He cut a grin her way. “How do you know where I live, sugar?”
She smirked. “Don’t flatter yourself. Everyone knows where you live. Where will she live when you’re on the road?”
“I have no idea. My manager said I should hire a nanny.”
“I’ve told you this before, but this is one time you seriously don’t want to try to solve your problems with money.”
“What’s wrong with a nanny?”
“Wyatt, she lost her dad, and pretty soon she’s going to learn she lost her mom too. How do you think she’s going to feel when you tell her you’re leaving too?”
He closed his eyes, and dread swelled through him. “I’m starting to think there’s no way she’s not going to be totally screwed up.”
“Not exactly a positive outlook, but since you put it out there, I think counseling should be the first order of business after you’ve got her in school.”
His head swung toward her. “Counseling?”
Gypsy burst out laughing. “Oh my God, you should see your face. You look like I suggested castration.”
He groaned and covered his eyes with his forearm.
“I don’t think a nanny is a bad idea,” she said. “As long as you don’t think you can leave her with a stranger and just disappear for weeks or months at a time.”
She propped herself up with one hand behind her and gave him a sassy look. “And don’t even think about asking me to watch her just because I’m not a stranger and I’m the only woman in town who won’t sleep with you.”
He barked a laugh. “Jesus, don’t sugarcoat it. Just tell me what you really think.”
That made Gypsy laugh, and she rolled to her back and covered her stomach with her hands. Wyatt couldn’t help but smile. Her laugh was sweet and sexy and made crazy things happen inside him. The same kinds of things that happened when he fantasized about kissing her.
“Oh my God,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I must have had too much wine.”
He rolled to his side and took a piece of her dark hair, twirling it around his finger. When she didn’t bat his hand away, he slid the back of one knuckle across her cheekbone. Her skin was so soft. She smelled so good. He’d wanted her for so long.
“Are you ever going to go out with me?”
She sighed and rolled to face him, then curled her fingers around his. This was the closest they’d ever been, and his heart pounded hard and fast. His thoughts started to gray around the edges as his focus tunneled until all he could think about was Gypsy.
She moved his hand away from her fac
e, but didn’t let go. “I think you missed the whole point of our talk tonight. The bottom line for me is that, at this point in my life, Cooper comes first. It won’t take long for you to be saying the same thing about Belle. And if you think working your life around Belle will be difficult, adding a relationship to the mix would truly throw a monkey wrench into the system.”
“I can’t begin to tell you how much I admire you for the way you raise Cooper, but there has to be a happy medium somewhere. If you give up everything you want just so they can have everything they want, what are you teaching them?”
“I’m not saying they get everything they want. I’m saying they get everything they need. And at this age, I don’t think you can ever give them too much attention.”
“What’s the deal with Cooper’s father?” He’d wanted the answer to that question as long as he’d known her, but the fact that no one at the bar knew the answer meant she never talked about it. So he’d respected her privacy. But he saw things changing between them, and he felt knowing the answer would tell him a lot about her. “You’ve never mentioned him.”
“He’s not worth mentioning.”
“He’s missing out on one hell of a kid,” Wyatt said. “And the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
“He wasn’t interested in having another kid.”
“Another?”
She let out a deep sigh and averted her gaze. “He’s an entertainment agent. Used to come into the club where I was working in Miami. I was in VIP customer service, so we interacted a lot. He traveled for work, but when he came into town, we were together. When he left, we talked on the phone, FaceTimed, texted. We were seeing each other for over a year when my birth control failed.”
For as long as Wyatt had known her, he hadn’t seen or heard of her dating anyone, and the way she handled flirty men at the bar told Wyatt she didn’t want to date anyone. Which was why he made the idea of dating all fun and games. He knew going at her directly would get him nowhere.
Now he was glad he had. It might have taken what felt like forever, but he was right where he wanted to be. He had her all to himself, opening up about things she didn’t tell just anyone.