by Clyde Key
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Mo got up early next morning, dressed in his new hunting clothes, and loaded the hunting gear into the jeep. He was so excited, though, that he almost forgot the ammo for that big hunting rifle. Oops! Better slow down and get everything right! So Mo took a couple of minutes and thought out his new plan, remembering everything that Harv had suggested, and checking the list of everything he had bought for the trip. So nothing could go wrong.
Then Mo headed up the mountain road in the jeep. He located the faded sign and trail that Harv had told him about, and made note of the features along the road that would help him find it on the way back. Mo stopped for a minute and marked the trail location on the map. Then he found the ledge Harv had mentioned on the map and calculated the mileage he should see on the odometer to be sure he didn’t miss it.
But he wouldn’t have missed it anyway because the ledge was plain to see. He found plenty of room to turn the jeep around so it would be easy to get out when he had bagged his bear. Then just to be on the safe side (so he wouldn’t lose them), Mo put his keys under the driver’s seat of the jeep.
It seemed awfully steep off the side of the ledge so Mo took the precaution of tying one end of the rope to a tree and tossing the rope down as far as it would reach. He figured the rope would make it a lot easier to get down and back up the mountainside, and he would probably need it to haul a bear back up, especially since he wanted to bag a really big bear to make a really big rug. Mo rappelled down—it actually wasn’t far down to the next ledge—and had a look around for those caves.
There were some caves that Mo could see from his position and he thought he could see a bear in one of them, although he couldn’t be certain. So he propped the rifle against a tree. Then he grabbed hold of a branch and leaned way out for a look. He still wasn’t sure so he stretched a little further. Then the branch broke and Mo slid down a few feet, landing in a mountain stream that was fed by melting snow from the mountaintop. It was the coldest he had ever remembered.
Mo was very cold, but from his new vantage point, he could see that there were two bears in the cave. So then he had two problems: first, he was so cold and wet that he couldn’t possible aim the rifle and, second, his rifle was up on the next ledge anyway. Mo looked around a bit and found a way to get back up. It wasn’t easy but he managed to scramble over the rocks and pull himself up with branches to get back up to the next ledge.
Then Mo was so cold he knew he’d have to warm up before he could hunt. So he took off his clothes and wrung them out and spread them over bushes to dry out. Then he was really shivering, so he got back as far out of the breeze as he could. At first, he was miserably cold but he began to dry out. The breeze died down after a while and the sun came up high enough that Mo finally began to get warm. Before he knew it, he had dozed off.
Then a passing shadow and a rustling noise woke him up. When he opened his eyes, he was staring face-to-face at a big grizzly bear. Of course, that woke him up completely in a hurry but, before he could move, the bear grabbed him. That bear held him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe and Mo thought it was the end for him. But then Mo quickly figured out what the situation really was. It was a she-bear with bad eyesight and she didn’t want to hurt him at all. The fact was that the other bear was still hibernating and she was just real lonesome. The she-bear danced around and around with Mo, squeezing him tighter and tighter.
What could he do? It certainly didn’t seem like a good idea to tell her she wasn’t his type. And Mo sure didn’t want to make enough noise to wake the other bear. Then Mo saw that they were swirling closer to his rifle with every spin so he had another plan! He just had to grab the rifle and shoot the bear. The other bear was bigger but this one was plenty big enough for his den. Of course, he’d either have to make a getaway before the other bear could get up there or he’d have to shoot the other bear too. In that case, he’d either have two rugs or he could choose which one he liked best.
When they swung close to the rifle, Mo grabbed for it. But he missed it. Instead, he knocked it over and it went clattering down the mountainside until the trigger caught on a twig. The gun went off and that woke up the other bear.
Then it got real dark on the mountain. The other bear had come up to see what was the commotion, and it was so big it blocked out the sun. That didn’t stop the she-bear from dancing around with Mo, though. But as she spun close to the big bear, it roared so loud that it shook rocks loose from the mountain. That scared the bejeebers out of Mo, but it also startled the she-bear enough that she loosened her grip and that gave Mo a chance. He got away from the bear and quickly climbed back up the rope to his jeep. He was relieved to see that the keys were right where he left them so he started the engine, threw it in gear, and launched back to the road.
But the big bear had jumped up in front of him and blocked his way. Who knew bears could leap like that? Mo veered to one side and the jeep started sliding down the mountain. But, fortunately, he wound up back on the road at the next hair-pin turn. Then that bear jumped down right behind him. Mo accelerated just as fast as he dared and barely made the next turn. However, the bear cut across and almost caught him, forcing Mo to miss the next hair-pin and start sliding again. Once more, the bear cut the corner and was right behind Mo, snapping and growling, and it almost caught him, but Mo was beginning to get the hang of mountain driving. He cut across and met the road where it doubled back. The bear still chased him but that gave him some margin so that he could stay safely ahead. Then Mo was relieved to see the bear give up the chase.
As Mo thought about the situation, he decided to forget about getting a bearskin rug because it was way too much trouble and dangerous to boot. But then Mo realized that, along with his bejeebers, he had left his clothes back up on the mountain. I can’t go back into camp like this! What’ll I do? Then he saw the faded sign that marked the back trail and he quickly made another plan. Mo turned the jeep onto the trail. He decided he would park the jeep in the bushes behind the cabin and hide there until nobody was around. Then he would sneak into the cabin and get some more clothes.
But the trail got pretty steep as it got away from the road. It got rougher, too. Mo tried to slow the jeep down but its brakes were completely gone. He must have torn a brake line loose on the wild ride down! When he got back even with the camp, the jeep barreled right through the bushes. It ran into six big garbage cans and sent them rolling through the camp, probably making enough noise to be heard on the next mountain. Mo turned off the ignition and got the jeep stopped but there was no time for another plan. He’d just have to make a frantic dash back to his cabin before anybody came out to investigate.
That would have worked, except that Mo stepped in some cooking grease that had spilled from one of the cans. He went sliding down toward the kitchen, knocking over a stack of snow shovels along the way, and Mo and the shovels crashed into the back of the kitchen. Then the two ladies who worked in the kitchen ran out to see what was going on.
The first lady screamed, “Eek!” and ran back inside, but the other lady picked up one of the shovels and drew it back to whomp him.
“Wait! Please don’t hit me! I can explain!” cried Mo. “I was just out hunting bear!”
“Well, I can see that,” she said, and she whomped him anyway.