Delaney gave her a wise smile. “That’s just it, Addie. You keep talking about your relationship with Maddox as if it’s something that’s going to happen in the future. The truth is you’re already there.”
“Huh?”
“You’re in love with Maddox.”
“Yes,” she said, feeling like she was stepping into a trap.
“It has already happened. You’re in a relationship with him now. You keep questioning if you’re brave enough to handle whatever may come—dreaming up all types of scenarios in which you lose. We have a saying for that in the South. It’s called borrowing trouble.” She gave her a pointed look. “Stop borrowing trouble.” She shrugged. “So you’re afraid? Big whoop. We’re all afraid.” Her voice quivered with intensity. “Do you not think I was scared out of my mind to give birth to Hope? I was a high-risk pregnancy.” Her eyes softened. “No amount of fear could compare with the joy I felt when I held my little girl in my arms for the first time. The bravest of heroes are scared. They push forward into action, leaving the fear behind. Then comes the victory.” She gave Addie a pointed look. “Are you happy without Maddox in your life?”
“No, I’m absolutely miserable,” she muttered.
“You can’t imagine your life without him, right?”
“Right.”
She smiled. “There you go. That’s your answer.”
There was a knock at the door. They turned as a nurse entered the room, holding Hope in her arms.
A sense of awe came over Addie as she looked at the red-faced bundle, swaddled in a pink blanket. She stood and scooted her chair back. “She’s beautiful,” she uttered, looking at Hope’s squinty, determined face. She was unprepared for the swift feeling of love that rushed through her.
Hope went stiff, belting out a whiny cry.
“She’s hungry is what she is,” the nurse said with a laugh. “You should probably sanitize your hands before you take her.”
“Of course. Would you hand me that?” Delaney asked, pointing at a bottle of hand sanitizer on the nearby table. When Addie gave it to her, Delaney liberally rubbed the solution over her hands, up to her elbows. Meanwhile, Hope’s cries became more insistent. Delaney held out her hands as the nurse placed Hope in her arms.
“There,” Delaney said soothingly as she held her against her chest. Gently, she rubbed a finger across Hope’s cheek. Hope turned her mouth to Delaney’s finger, the rooting instinct taking over as she sucked Delaney’s finger.
“Look at that,” the nurse cooed in delight. “Preemies normally have a hard time learning to suck, but Hope’s catching on fast. I’ll be right back with the bottle of breast milk that you pumped earlier.” She turned, walking briskly out of the room.
It was amazing how natural the instinct of motherhood seemed to come to Delaney as she rocked Hope, making shushing sounds to calm her. Addie had the feeling of witnessing utter perfection.
Delaney seemed to be reading Addie’s thoughts as she looked up and flashed an unencumbered smile so joyous it brought tears to Addie’s eyes.
Be happy. The words swirled through Addie’s mind, finding their place in her heart. Just like that, the muddy water cleared. She laughed inwardly. She’d been borrowing trouble for a long time. When real trouble came knocking, Maddox was there for her. Delaney was right. It was time to stop mourning the hypothetical. As much as she wanted to stay here with Delaney and Hope, she needed to find Maddox. “I have to go.”
“You’ve got this,” Delaney said, giving her a reassuring nod.
She touched Delaney’s arm. “Thank you.”
A smile ruffled Delaney’s lips. “You bet. That’s what family’s for.”
When Addie got to the door, she paused for one last look at Delaney, who was peering down at Hope, totally consumed in the softness and wonder of her new baby.
“One of those perfect moments that life is made of,” she uttered softly, gently closing the door behind her.
Addie found Corbin and Pops standing in the hall. “Where’s Maddox?”
“He went home,” Corbin answered.
The words came at her like an invisible punch to the stomach. Her hand went to her throat. “He left? Without telling me goodbye?”
Corbin gave her a funny look. “Just to get some rest. He said he’d come back in the morning to check on you and see Hope.”
“Seeing as how you treated him earlier, he probably thinks you don’t want anything to do with him,” Pops added, reproof sounding in his voice.
“We hope to have information soon on Brent Barrett,” Corbin said. “Then we’ll know for sure if the threat against you is over.”
Meaning Maddox would then go onto his next assignment, she thought glumly. For an instant, the old familiar despair settled over her like a boulder around her neck. No! She straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t lose Maddox again. She held out her hand to Corbin. “I need your car keys.”
His eyes rounded. “What?”
“I’m going to talk to Maddox. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Do you even remember where he lives?” Corbin asked, looking at her like she’d grown another head.
“I can figure it out,” she snapped.
Corbin gave her a probing look. “What’s this about, Addie?”
She lifted her chin. “None of your business.”
A new light came into Corbin’s eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re going after him, aren’t you? That little heart-to-heart with Delaney must’ve done you good,” he taunted. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Addie’s in love.”
Heat crawled up her neck as she shoved him. “You’re such an idiot,” she growled.
Pops gave Corbin a warning look. “Stop teasing her.” His eyes smiled. “Time to finally come out from underneath that tree, huh, Squirt?”
“What?” Corbin asked dubiously.
Addie rolled her eyes. “Never mind. Your pea-sized brain’s not big enough to comprehend it, even if I explained it to you.”
Corbin shook his head and chuckled. “I can tell you one thing—Maddox has got to be one tough cookie to put up with you. Or a long-suffering sucker.”
She was about to tell him off, then saw the laughter in his eyes. He tipped a smile. “Love you, sis.”
“I love you too,” she admitted. She held out her hand, eyeing him. “The keys please?”
“Go ahead and give them to her,” Pops urged, “before she changes her mind.”
A laugh rumbled in Addie’s throat. “I’m not changing my mind.” She lifted her chin. “Not this time.”
“If I give you my keys, we’ll be stuck here,” Corbin lamented.
Pops chuckled. “What’re you talking about? You haven’t left here for days. A few more hours won’t hurt you.”
Addie leaned forward, sniffing. “I thought I smelled something.”
“Hey,” Corbin protested.
When Pops gave him the look, he sighed. “Fine. But don’t be gone too long. And whatever you do, be careful with the Lexus. Delaney’s particular about her car.”
She laughed rolling her eyes. “Delaney’s particular? More like you are. Don’t worry. I’ll be careful,” she chimed. When she got a few steps away from them, she turned. “Hey, would you be a good boy and text me Maddox’s address?”
“Ah-ha! I knew you couldn’t remember how to get there.” He smirked. “You can’t find your way out of a bathtub.”
It was true. She was terrible at directions. “Oh, put a cork in it.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I need it for backup, just in case.” She turned to rush away.
“Hey, Addie.”
She stopped and glanced back over her shoulder. “Huh?”
“Good luck.” Corbin gave her a genuine smile. “You’ve got this.”
Those were the same words Delaney had used. They had the power to melt her heart as she returned his smile, realizing in that moment how much she truly loved her big brother. “Thank you.”
Anticipation licked
through her veins. Delaney and Corbin were right. She had this! For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was running to something instead of running from it. She smiled a little, remembering how those were Maddox’s words about joining the SEALs.
She quickened her pace, anxious to get to Maddox as soon as possible.
19
Maddox was bone tired, every inch of his body aching. Part of his weariness was from physical exhaustion. The other, larger part, was his frustration over Addie. Now that the job was wrapping up, he would have to come to terms with the fact that he’d lost her. He’d stayed at the hospital long enough to say a few words to Corbin and Wallace before darting out. The truth was, Maddox hated hospitals. They reminded him of B. J. and how helpless he felt watching his childhood friend fade away to his death. Added to that was the guilt of it being his fault because he’d dared B. J. to jump the creek. He pushed aside the dark memories, knowing they weren’t helping matters.
His condo had an empty, lonesome feel. Well, better get used to it Maddox, he told himself. It’s your life now. His phone buzzed. For a split second, he hoped it might be Addie, but it was his mama. He’d not spoken to her in a week. She had no idea that he’d left San Diego and gone to Colorado and back. He made a practice of keeping the details of his job to himself so as not to worry his family.
“Hello,” he clipped as he reached into the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.
“Maddox, darling,” she drawled. “How are you?”
“Good.” Not true. He was lousy. Life sucked right now! He plopped down on the couch and removed his shoes. “How are you?” he asked mechanically.
That’s all it took for his mama to launch into a ten-minute monologue about the club, how busy Maddox’s daddy was at the firm, and every detail she could think of about his siblings’ lives. “What’re you up to?” she asked a few minutes later.
“Oh, nothing much. You know, just work.”
“When are you planning to come home for a visit? We miss you.”
He reached for the remote, turned on the TV, and began flipping through channels. “Christmas, maybe.”
“I was hoping you’d come for Thanksgiving too.”
“Okay, I’ll try to do that.”
She paused. “Maddox. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“I’m just tired.”
“Have you spoken to Addie?”
He sat up, clutching the phone tighter. “What kind of question is that? You know we broke up.” The bitterness in his tone sounded in his ears. Did his mama have some sort of radar on him? It was like she instinctively knew, somehow, that he’d been with Addie.
“I was just hoping that maybe the two of you could, you know, work things out.” Her voice grew intense. “You should’ve seen her at your funeral, honey. The poor girl was devastated.”
An incredulous laugh broke through his throat. “Do you hear yourself, Mama? I didn’t actually die.”
“I know that,” she responded impatiently. “But we thought you were dead. Going through that had to be tough on her.”
Yeah, so tough that she couldn’t get over it, he thought, acid churning in his gut.
“You should bring Addie for Thanksgiving.”
Sometimes it was like his mama didn’t listen to a thing he said. “We’re not together anymore.”
“Text me her number, and I’ll invite her.”
“I’m not going to text you her number.” This conversation was getting ridiculous. He punched the remote and switched through more channels, finally stopping at a basketball game. His stomach rumbled. That’s right, he’d not eaten anything in a few hours. He had very little food in the house. Maybe he’d order a pizza.
“If you won’t text me Addie’s number, then I suggest you call her. A girl like her doesn’t come along every day.”
“All right,” he interrupted. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
His mama’s voice instantly brightened. “Fantastic,” she cooed. “Be sure and tell her I said hello.”
The doorbell rang. Maddox sat up, hope bubbling in his chest. Was it Addie? “I’ve gotta go, Mama. There’s someone at the door.”
“Okay, I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.”
He glanced back at the door. “Love you too.” He ended the call and tossed the phone on the couch as he stood. Had Addie come to find him? He peered through the peephole, his stomach tightening.
“Hello.” Felicity knocked insistently on the door. “I know you’re there. I saw your lights.”
He opened the door, plastering on a smile. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She flashed a large smile as she slid her arms around his neck and drew close, pressing her lips to his. All he could think about was how her perfume was too strong, her hair too stiff, her face too made up.
“Whoa!” He drew back, removing her skinny arms from his neck. “What was that for?”
Her face fell, her lips forming a petulant pout. “I thought you’d be happy to see me,” she sniffed. She strode past him, walked around the couch, and sat down. She draped an arm over the back and looked at him with a come-hither expression. “Come over here,” she purred. “I’ve missed you. You didn’t even tell me you were going out of town.”
“Now’s not a good time,” he began.
“Oh, come on,” she urged. “It’s not like you were doing anything besides watching a stupid game.”
“I happen to like basketball,” he countered, raising an eyebrow.
“We’ll watch it together then.” She squared her jaw. “I’m not leaving, so you’d might as well come over here. Please,” she added, giving him a seductive smile.
His shoulders slumped. He didn’t know which was worse—sitting alone and wallowing in his sorrows or sitting with Felicity. Would you rather be (a) drowned or (b) burned to death? Can I choose option (c)? Oh, and can you throw Addie into the mix?
He grunted. Fat chance of that happening. “Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering a pizza.”
Her face fell. “Can you get a thin, gluten-free crust?” She shuddered. “I can’t stand the thought of eating all those carbs.”
He laughed to keep from crying. “Sure, why not?”
* * *
Addie turned off the engine and got out of the Lexus. She rubbed her sweaty hands on her jeans. Maddox’s lights were on. She was relieved he was home. A part of her had feared that he’d left town on a job and she wouldn’t see him again. “You’ve got this,” she repeated. She took in a breath and scrunched her hair as she strode up the curved sidewalk leading to his condo.
She rang the doorbell. No answer.
Her heart leapt into her throat. She knocked. “Maddox?”
No answer. She tried the door handle. It was unlocked. Tentatively, she pushed open the door. “Hello?” She stepped inside and looked around at Maddox’s sparse living room. It looked the same as it had when she’d been here last. There were the basics—a sofa and TV. Large prints of Maddox’s landscape photographs covered the walls, taken in places he’d traveled. The scent of pizza lingered in the air.
She stiffened when she saw movement on the sofa.
“Maddox?” Her heart was beating so wildly, she felt dizzy. Geez. This was hard. Maybe it was better to get it out when he couldn’t see her. “Don’t stand up.” She held out a hand. “Just let me get this out while I can. I was a fool to break up with you.” Her words lost air as she tried again. “The truth is, I was so afraid of losing you that I pushed you away.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Part of me is still afraid. I’d be lying if I said your job doesn’t scare me. Quite frankly, it scares the bejeebies out of me.” Dang it, this was so hard! She was rambling, not making a lick of sense. She raked a hand through her curls. “What I’m saying here is that I love you.” Her voice caught. “I never stopped loving you, not for one second. When I thought you were dead…well, I wanted to die too. I don’t know how this will work, Maddox, but I’m tired of being afraid. I wa
nt you in my life. I don’t care if you’re a SEAL or private contractor.” She chuckled. “Whatever the heck you call yourself. I can’t imagine my life without you. I want us to try again.” There. She’d said it. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” a woman asked.
Addie jerked as a blonde stood. That she was the epitome of style and gorgeousness didn’t help matters.
“W—what?” Addie gurgled, feeling like a noose had encircled her throat. “I must have the wrong condo. S—sorry.” She felt like she was in the middle of a nightmare when Maddox popped up. He rubbed his eyes like he’d just woken up.
He blinked, all trace of sleep instantly leaving him. “Addie? What’re you doing here?”
The blonde glared at him, her hand going to her hip. “Evidently baring her soul. Telling you how much she loves you. How breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of her life. How she wants to get back together.” She twirled her hand. “Blah, blah, blah,” she finished in a languid tone as she looked down at her acrylic nails.
Maddox’s eyes bugged. “Huh?”
It all came together in a hard punch that took Addie’s breath away. “You’re Felicity,” she croaked.
“In the flesh.” Felicity tossed her hair, her eyes radiating disdain as she looked Addie up and down like she was sizing up the competition. She turned back to Maddox. “Who in the heck is this woman? You never told me you were a SEAL.” She twirled her hand. “I thought you were a personal trainer.”
Fire raged in Addie’s gut as she glared at Maddox, tears stinging her eyes. “I never meant anything to you, did I?” She was a fool coming here, opening her heart to him.
Maddox bounded around the couch. “What’re you talking about? You mean everything to me.”
“What?!” Felicity growled. “Surely, you don’t mean that. Look at her over-stretched, last season sweater and her crazy hair.” She looked at Addie like she was Medusa. “You know, they do have something called a flat iron. It would do wonders for you.”
The Diehard Warrior Page 18