It’s different here. Relaxing. Quiet.
And it’s made me long for home. Not the noise or the stress from work and responsibilities, but my family. I think they would like it here. Well, Eli would tolerate it. He’s the definition of workaholic, but I remember times when we were kids and we’d splash in the water the way Todd and Violet are now as adults.
I love all of my siblings, but Eli and I always had a special connection. I’m the only one who was ever able to push his extreme serious side away to make him have fun.
Until his wife Kate came along. She’s brought out more than any of us ever could. She made him see that while work is important, there are other things more important. He works a little less, and smiles a whole lot more.
I sit on a rock and tip my head up to the sun. I don’t know what to do about this weird attraction I have to Simon. He’s been professional, for the most part, and hasn’t intimidated me at all, but I know that the attraction is mutual. Last night on the boat was intense.
While he was driving the boat, I was pushed back in time to an early summer day with my daddy, also sitting in a boat, floating through the bayou. I must have been about twelve, and it was just the two of us. My dad made sure to spend quality time with each of us kids.
“I like it out here,” I said with a smile.
“Of course you do, darlin’.” he nodded. “Boatin’s in your blood.”
“I don’t know if I want to help with the business when I grow up,” I replied carefully. “I know you love it, but I don’t know if I will.”
“Well, I think it’s good, then, that in this country you can do anything that you choose.”
“You won’t be mad?”
“Why would I be mad at you for doing something you love, Charlotte? I want all of my children to be happy.”
I felt so loved right then. Cherished, even.
“Maybe I’ll get married and my husband will want to work for the company.”
“Well, that might be so,” he said thoughtfully. “But I don’t want you to be in a hurry to get married, baby girl. You wait for the right man to come along, who makes you feel safe and respected and loves you like crazy.”
“The way you love Mama?”
“That’s right,” he said with a wink. “I knew she was the one for me the minute I saw her. And you’ll know too. So you just wait for that to come along. You won’t regret it.”
And so I’ve been waiting for the better part of thirty years to know the minute I see him, and the one is still eluding me.
“What is happening in that pretty head of yours?” Simon asks, startling me. I glance around and realize that I’ve wandered back to where he and the others are enjoying the water and the view.
“Not much,” I reply.
“I don’t believe you,” he says and shoves his hands in his pockets, just like Eli would. He’s taken his backpack off, and is standing before me in the grey shirt, shorts, bare feet, and a bit of scruff on his cheeks.
And for some reason, I have no problem confiding in this man, which is brand new to me.
“I was thinking about my family,” I reply quietly.
“A bit homesick, are you?”
“A bit,” I agree with a nod. “I’ve been away from home far longer than this before, but this time seems different.”
“You’re self-reflecting while you’re here,” Simon says gently. “Of course you’re thinking about what matters most to you.”
“Why are you so easy to talk to?”
“I like to think it’s my charming wit and handsome features.”
“Hmm.” I narrow my eyes and tip my head back and forth, like I’m thinking very hard. “No. That’s not it.”
Simon bursts out with a loud laugh. “Come on, cheeky woman. Let’s enjoy this view before we head back out of here.”
“Oh God, more hiking.”
“You’re a pro already.”
***
“Enjoy your time in town,” the shuttle driver says with a kind smile the next day when he drops me off in the center of town.
“Thank you,” I reply, tip him, and climb out of the old van and onto the sidewalk. Town is tiny, with just a three-block downtown area, but I’ve been told that there are fun shops and restaurants, and frankly some time away from the hotel, the woods, and Simon is exactly what I need.
I walk into a gift shop and browse around, deciding to get corny Montana T-shirts for the whole family.
Yesterday was exhausting. I haven’t slept as well as I did last night since I was a baby. Maybe I should hike more often. It might help my insomnia issues.
It was also hard work, but fun. Heidi made us all laugh with stories of hiking through New Zealand. Todd passed around photos of his new baby. We spent a fun afternoon getting to know each other better.
I’m not sure why, out of the hundred women at the retreat, Simon chose to ask me and Heidi go with him, but I’m glad he did. It was a fun day.
But today, I get to shop, even if it is just for T-shirts with moose on them. The locals are friendly, asking me where I’m from, and then telling me stories of their own about Louisiana, whether they’ve been there or not.
Finally, I find a cute café for lunch and take a seat at the counter, next to an older man with thinning gray hair and a kind smile.
“You’re not from around here,” he says.
“How did you know?”
“Well, I know everyone here,” he says. “And I surely don’t know you.”
“You’re right. I’m Charly, visiting from New Orleans.”
“Never been,” he replies. “I just stick around here. I figure, there’s not much out there prettier than this.”
“You know, I think you may be right again. I’ve been all over, and this is at the top of my list for beautiful views.”
“I’m Charlie, too,” he says with a wink and holds his hand out to shake mine. “I recommend the steak sandwich.”
“Sounds great.” I place my order with the waitress and enjoy an hour of conversation with Charlie while we eat our lunch. “Were you born here, Charlie?”
“No, ma’am,” he says. “I grew up in Los Angeles.”
This surprises me.
“Moved here in the 60’s. Found my Mary here, and raised our kids. Worked for the railroad until I retired about ten years ago.”
“That sounds like a beautiful life.”
He smiles softly and nods. “It sure has been.”
I reach for my check, but Charlie plucks it up before I can.
“Thanks for having lunch with an old man today, Miss Charly. I’d like to buy your lunch.”
“I didn’t have lunch with an old man. I had lunch with a handsome new friend. Thank you.” I reach for my handbag and shopping bags. “How far is the lodge from here?”
“Oh, I’d say it’s quite a ways. I can give you a ride if you like.”
“No, that’s fine. I can use the exercise.” Especially after the hiking fiasco yesterday. “Just point me in the right direction.”
I’m pleased to hear it’s not difficult to find and set off on the walk back to the lodge. Dark clouds have rolled in. I hope it doesn’t start to rain before I get back.
But, of course, it does. And not just a sprinkle, but a hard, soaking rain complete with thunder and lightning.
Fantastic.
I hold my bags against my chest and jog for what seems forever. I can’t see far ahead of me because of the wall of water coming down around me, but I know it’s a straight shot, so I don’t have to look for a street sign.
Not that there are many of those out here, since we’re in the boonies and all.
Shit.
By the time the lodge comes into view, my lungs are on fire and my legs are exhausted and I’m soaked to the bone, shivering from the sudden cold.
Turns out, the weather in Montana can be a bitch.
I push through the double doors and into the hotel and stand dripping. I take stock, realizing with disgus
t that my silk top is ruined, as are my new Tieks flats.
I trudge toward the elevator with thoughts of a long, hot shower and a hot cup of tea when I suddenly hear, “What in the hell happened to you?”
My eyes close on a cringe, and I turn to find Simon staring at me in horror.
“Got caught in the storm.”
“You’re soaked through,” he says, indignation dripping along with the accent off his tongue, and my back immediately comes up. “How long were you out there?”
“I don’t know,” I counter. “How long does it take to run here from town?”
“From town?” He’s incredulous now. “You went to town alone?”
“Of course I did.” I feel ridiculous. I’m standing here, dripping all over the hardwood floors, arguing with the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on. I glance down and see that my black bra is showing through the ruined silk.
Perfect.
“I’m a grown up, Simon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a hot shower and a change of clothes.” I turn on my heel and march to the elevator, relieved when I don’t have to wait for it to arrive. I make it to my room before I start to shiver and feel tears threaten.
“Good God, Charlotte,” I say in exasperation. “This is not worth crying over.”
I have visions of that hot shower and tea, so I order room service and make my way to the bathroom for that shower when my phone rings.
“Hi, Van.”
“Hey, mountain girl,” she says with a laugh. Savannah’s laugh was gone for so long that I don’t mind hearing it in reference to me. “I have some news.”
“Okay.”
“Kate’s preggers.”
“Holy shit! That’s great!”
“Well, it is, but she’s at the doctor because she started to bleed. It’s super early still, so this could be normal, or it could be bad.”
“Do you need me to come home? I can pack up now.”
“No. There’s nothing you can do here. I’m sure she’ll be just fine.”
“But I really don’t mind—”
“No way. I’ll keep you posted.”
There’s a knock at my door. “Okay. I have to go, Van. I’ll call later, okay?”
“Great.”
We hang up and I answer the door, earning weird looks from the room service kid when he delivers my hot tea and cookies.
A girl deserves cookies after the day I just had.
I shut the door behind him, but before I can turn away, there’s another knock, so I open it, expecting it to be the same kid, but it’s Simon.
“I didn’t mean to treat you like a child,” he says, and my eyes fill with tears, completely pissing me off. “Hey, I’m sorry, love. I was just taken aback when I saw you and I was worried.”
“I’m not crying.”
“Okay.” He steps inside and wraps me up in a big hug, rocking us back and forth. His lips are on my head, and this could be the safest I’ve felt since I was a child and my father held me the same way. “What’s wrong, darling?”
“I’m cold and wet and embarrassed. And my sister-in-law is pregnant, but she’s bleeding, and Van doesn’t want me to come home, and I’m worried.”
“Shhh, love. It’s okay.”
It’s so not okay, but damn this feels good.
“Why don’t you go take that shower, and I’ll fix you some tea?”
“Okay.” I sniffle, mortified that I’m crying in front of him.
“How do you take your tea?”
“Lots of sugar,” I reply.
“You got it.” He steps back and waits silently as I gather some fresh clothes and walk into the bathroom. I lean my forehead on the closed door and take a deep breath before stepping into the shower. What is wrong with me? I never cry. Ever. I’m just going to chalk it up to being exhausted from yesterday’s hike and today’s wet run.
The hot water is heaven, and when I emerge ten minutes later, I feel better, but so tired. I really just want to curl up in bed and go to sleep.
I walk out of the bathroom and find Simon standing with his back to the room, looking out at the lake. My tea is steeping. One of the cookies is gone.
I might let him live.
“Do you feel better?” he asks without turning around.
“Yes.” I step toward him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t touch me.” His voice is perfectly calm, but his body is tense. “If you touch me, I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you, and I’m going to keep my hands off of you, Charly.”
I don’t even know what to say to that, so I just stay where I am, staring at his broad shoulders.
“I didn’t like the thought of you being out in the storm alone and something happening to you. I didn’t like it at all.”
“Okay.”
“And I’ve worked for a long time at not giving a fuck.”
I blink in surprise, not sure where this is going, exactly. He finally turns around and stares at me for a long moment. His face is sober, but his eyes are intense, almost tortured.
“But you give a fuck.” It’s a whisper.
“I give a fuck,” he replies softly. “And I don’t know what to do about that.”
“Maybe there’s nothing to be done.” I’m leaving soon. I’m never going to see him again after this trip.
“Maybe.” He crosses to me, stopping just short of touching me and stares into my eyes. His hands don’t reach for me. Instead, he takes a long, deep breath and walks around me. “Drink your tea. Good night.”
And, with that, he’s gone.
What in the world?
I take a sip of my tea and sigh in happiness. It’s exactly sweet enough, and just the perfect temperature.
Simon does tea well. Of course, he is British.
I grin and reach for my phone, wanting to hear Van’s voice again.
“Miss me?” she asks.
“Madly. Have you heard anything?”
“Yes, I just spoke with Eli. Kate’s fine. The doctor said that this sometimes happens in early pregnancy, and she should be great.”
“Good.” I sit on the edge of the bed, relieved. “And you’re sure that I shouldn’t come home?”
“I’m positive. Everything is fine. Are you okay?”
“I cried in front of him,” I say, surprising myself. Van laughs on the other end of the phone, and I sit here and wonder who the fuck I am.
Chapter Four
~Charly~
“I’m so damn hungry,” Violet says the next day during our lunch break. She, Heidi, and I are at the restaurant in the hotel, waiting for our orders. “Who knew that thinking so damn hard could burn so many calories? No matter how many of these retreats I come to, it always surprises me how exhausted I am at the end of the day.”
“I hear you,” I reply and long for the burger I just ordered. “I’ve eaten more since I’ve been here than I do when I’m working a sixty-hour work week.”
“It’s all of this emotional stuff,” Heidi adds. “I’m really looking forward to the dating advice later in the week.”
“That’s a fun day,” Violet replies with a knowing smile. “Simon gets lots of crazy questions.”
“I bet,” I say with a giggle. “Women can be nutso.”
“You have no idea,” Violet replies. “I won’t tell stories because that’s a breach of privacy, but Simon has seen and heard it all.”
“Is that Shelly chick still bugging him?” Heidi asks, and I remember the incessant flirting from Shelly that first night at dinner.
“No, she actually went home after Friday.”
“Really? Why?” I ask, surprised.
“Because she finally realized that this wasn’t a way to get a date with Simon,” Violet replies. “But that’s just between us.”
“I don’t know, Simon looks at Charly like he’s interested,” Heidi says, looking at me thoughtfully.
“He does not,” I reply immediately and smile when our plates are set before us. “God, this looks good.”
/> “Yep, that’s how he looks at you,” Heidi says.
“How?”
“The way you’re looking at your burger.”
We all crack up and dig in, sighing in delight. “So good,” I say around a huge bite of burger and fries. “I should have ordered two.”
“Back to the subject at hand,” Violet says, ignoring my bad manners, “I think Heidi’s right.”
“Trust me, I have way more lust for this burger than Simon has for me.”
“Whatever,” Heidi says, rolling her eyes.
“Besides,” I continue, “he’s made it clear that this is strictly professional, and I already know that he’s not right for me.”
“You already know that?” Violet asks.
“Yep. I always know.” And it’s not just a little disappointing that I haven’t found the right one yet.
“Now, this is advice I need,” Heidi says and leans in. “Because I always choose badly. How do you know?”
“I can tell in the first five minutes if a man is the one. And trust me, Simon isn’t him.”
“How in the hell can you tell in five minutes?” Heidi asks.
“I just can,” I reply with a shrug. “Sometimes it’s based on the clothes they wear, or what they do for a living, or their opinion on food.”
“Oh Lord,” Violet says and laughs. “You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am,” I reply. “These are all deal breakers for me. And, Simon is out of the running based on geography.”
“Now I’m intrigued. Do tell,” Heidi says.
“He’s international, and I live in New Orleans. It would never work.”
“So, just like that, he’s out.” Violet nods. “Okay. How many times have you found the one based on this theory?”
“None,” I reply with a frown. “But I’ll know it when I do.”
Heidi starts to speak, but my phone beeps with an incoming text from Eli. It’s a picture of an ultrasound with the caption You’re gonna be an aunt again!
“Look! My brother just sent me this. His wife is pregnant.” I show the photo off proudly. “It’s the most beautiful baby ever.”
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