“Ouch. Are you saying I’m insensitive?” I knew he was messing with me.
“No. You have always made your intentions perfectly clear. The poor girls just always think they can change you.” I could almost see his grin after my comment.
“So, Travis, huh? He texted me to ask me if I would mind if he asked you out.”
“And what did you say?” Was this before or after he asked me?
“I said I didn’t mind, but that you would probably turn him down.” I guess going back to yesterday and my crying that was probably what he honestly thought.
“I said I would have coffee with him.”
“Yeah, that’s what he said. It shocked the hell outta me. There haven’t been many times you surprised me, but you surely did.” I could hear his laughter coming through the line.
I guess that was true, though. He had always been one step ahead of me. He practically always knew what I was going to do before I even did sometimes. “Is he a good guy?”
“He is. He’s had a rough year, but he’s a good guy. Not sure that he is looking for anything serious, but even if you’re back in the saddle, you probably shouldn’t jump into anything serious right now anyway.”
“Cameron Callahan, are you trying to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do?” I snickered.
“You and I both know even if I did, you would do what you want anyway.” I loved our friendship. We could be brutally honest with one another and never fear judgment or righteousness.
“I’m going to see him the day after tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.” A wide smile tugged at my face. I guess I could learn from my brother’s dating attitude. The best way to get over someone, is to move on to someone else. Even though I didn’t consider myself shallow like him, I recognized there was nothing wrong with enjoying someone else’s company.
So after an uneventful shift at work and a day of rest, I was back at the same coffee shop waiting for Travis. I sat at a table trying to decide if I should order or wait until he arrived when it suddenly occurred to me that he might not show. We said nine in the morning, and it was one minute past. Maybe he had changed his mind. I stared at my phone, wondering why he didn’t text if he was going to be late, and realized that I wasn’t even dating him. He really didn’t owe me anything. But Cam said he was a good guy. A good guy wouldn’t stand me up without even texting me, right?
I was reviewing the latest feeds on the social media sites when I heard his voice. “Hey, Charlie.” I looked up from my phone and took in the sight of Travis. He was dressed in khaki shorts again, but paired with a T-shirt today, rather than a golf shirt. “I’m sorry I am a couple of minutes late. I should have probably told you, one of my faults is that I have a hard time getting anywhere on time.”
I stood up next to him. “It’s probably good that you didn’t, because people that are late drive me crazy.” I motioned for him to follow me toward the line to order.
His perplexed expression told me he wasn’t sure what to say next. “Why don’t you sit here, and I will go place our order. I already know what you like.”
I shrugged and sat back down. Our date hadn’t even started yet, and I was already texting my brother. Not going well so far. He showed up four minutes late.
Give him a chance, okay? Don’t write him off already. I was still absorbing what my brother texted me when Travis was back at the table. Apparently, nine o’clock wasn’t as busy as earlier in the morning.
“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I was upset with you because you were a few minutes late.” If Cameron said Travis deserved a chance, then I best make sure he knows he has a clean slate.
“I would really like to apologize again.” He took a seat in a chair across from me at the square table and placed a coffee cup in front of me. He dangled the bag containing the muffins in front of me like a peace offering for his tardiness. I accepted the olive branch and pulled one of the miniature blueberry cakes out and sat it on a napkin. “You look really nice.”
I looked down at my attire. I knew this was just a casual coffee date, so I chose a scoop neck, fitted T-shirt and paired it with some denim shorts. And of course, I had my brown curls loose around my shoulders instead of the ponytail I usually wore. “That means I looked like a mess the last time you saw me. I’m sure I smell better this time, too.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat in response to my comment and his dark eyes cast down. “I haven’t dated anyone in a really long time, and I guess I’m out of practice. This is not going well at all.”
“Lighten up, will ya? I was just messing with you.” I tried my best to put him at ease but he still appeared distressed. “Seriously, Travis. Part of the reason I even agreed to this coffee meeting was because you didn’t seem to care what I looked like.” I offered him a soft smile and covered his hand with mine. It felt weird to touch another man’s hand, so I quickly pulled it back.
“You all right?” The deep creases furrowing his brow adequately revealed his concern.
“I guess I should go ahead and tell you.” I took a swallow of coffee before continuing—as if the caffeine was going to give me some kind of superpower courage to spit out what I needed to say. “The day before I met you, the man I am in love with broke my heart. Things ended badly, and I should have told you that before I agreed to meet you again. I am obviously going to need some time to grieve the end of that relationship before I will be able to truly move on.”
“Is he the reason you and Cameron left the basketball game last week?” If he had witnessed that, I was going to be really humiliated.
“You were there?” I gulped down the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat in anticipation of his recollection of that day.
“I was there waiting to start the game when Cameron’s friend left. Then you left, and Cameron followed suit. Is his friend the one that broke your heart?” Damn, he was perceptive.
“Yeah. That’s him.” I tried to respond nonchalantly, but it ripped at my heart a little just remembering that afternoon.
“Is it wrong for me to say he is a fool?” His attempt at trying to make me feel better pulled a giggle from me.
“How do you know I’m not the fool?” I guess my comment took him off guard. Again, he deflected his gaze down as if he was unsure of how to respond. “I’m only messing with you again.” It was going to be hard not to continue to tease him considering how easy it was to get him off-kilter.
“I hope if you’re messing with me, it means you like me.” His questioning, yet hopeful eyes brought another smile to my face. He was kind and sweet. He was totally—not.my.type. Which I decided was going to be a good thing.
“Yeah. It does. If I didn’t like you, I would just ignore you.” I took another sip of my liquid courage. “I have to be honest. I’m really not looking for a relationship. I’m not even looking to date anyone. But hopefully we can be friends?”
“Man, I’m glad you said that. Because you really aren’t my type.”
I almost spit out my next swallow of coffee as I choked back my laugh. “You probably go for the pretty, blonde, model type.”
“Something like that.” He was really nervous, I decided as I witnessed his fingers breaking apart his muffin into smaller pieces, without putting any of it into his mouth.
“Hey, what did that muffin ever do to you?” I really tried to put him at ease, but I could tell by his baffled countenance that he was still unable to read me.
“I had a relationship end recently, too.” So then it made sense. This would be why Cam had said Travis had a tough year.
“I’m sorry. Recovering from a broken heart is difficult.” I felt that compulsion to touch his hand again, so I did. And I didn’t pull back this time.
“My fiancée died in a car accident a little over six months ago.” His remark took me so off guard, I pulled my hand back immediately and used it to cover my mouth.
I released the hand concealing my lips only long enough to utter “Holy crap!�
�� My hand quickly found its place back over my mouth, and I instantly wished that comment hadn’t slipped out of my mouth. But even if I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have known what to say.
My astonishment caused him to reach out and cover my other hand with his. “It sucks, but I am dealing with it a lot better now than I was.”
I felt bad that he felt he needed to comfort me after my blatant outburst. Slowly, I released my fingers and moved my hand back from my face and into my lap. “Why don’t you tell me about her?” I ignored my muffin that was still untouched, and I ignored the coffee that was probably getting cold, but was no longer required for my courage.
“Really?” His pathetically hopeful expression was adorable.
“Of course! Tell me all about her.” I knew at that moment that he and I were going to be good friends.
He released a sigh of relief in a loud whoosh. “It feels weird to be on a date talking about the last woman I was with.”
“So why don’t we take the pressure off. Let’s not call this a date. It’s just two friends hanging out.” I was honestly a little relieved that he truly wasn’t ready for a relationship. I felt bad about what he had been through, but happy that I could be a friend to him.
So he proceeded to tell me about Mindy. He said she was a beautiful blonde that he described as model worthy. He told me how incredibly kindhearted she was and how they had an amazing connection. His story began when they met their senior year of college and progressed to their engagement on Christmas two years ago. The descriptions from his memories were delivered at warp speed, as if I would lose interest in what he was saying if he didn’t get the words out fast enough.
I heard about her favorite color, her favorite food, and their favorite restaurant. I hoped there wasn’t going to be a quiz after all the Mindy information being spewed at me. Maybe I should take notes? I continued to listen to him for the next twenty minutes. I finished my muffin and my coffee and he was still talking. At some point he realized I hadn’t contributed to the conversation for a really long time.
“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” Then there was that adorable puppy dog look again.
“No. Of course not. You are still grieving. It’s okay. Really.”
“Everyone is afraid to say anything about her around me, which makes me feel uncomfortable talking about her to anyone. I wish people were okay with mentioning her name or sharing memories about her.”
“Well, you can talk about her with me whenever you like.” Growing up with Cam and Louis, I was unaware there were men like Travis that even existed out there. Neither my brother nor my friend ever committed to one woman for very long, if at all. However, Mindy was obviously Travis’s world. He didn’t seem like the type to ever have interest in another woman.
“I know it sounds like all I ever do is think about her, but it’s not true. I think about her every day, but it’s not all day like it was. It will be when something silly happens, or something will come up that reminds me of her. The difference is that now those memories don’t make me sad anymore. Those memories make me smile. I guess I just wish I could talk about her without seeing people cringe.”
I tried to imagine what he was going through. He would never see the love of his life again. I could see Louis again whenever I wanted. Even though we weren’t together, I could still see him and talk with him. I could talk about him without anyone getting uncomfortable.
“Seriously, it’s better for you to talk to me about Mindy than your next girlfriend.” I was joking, and that time he knew I was. His lips turned up slightly into almost a half smile.
“So are you going to tell me about him? The one that broke your heart?” I guess he figured I would share my personal crap with him like he just emotionally vomited all over me.
“Nah. I’d rather hear more about you.”
He had a food bolus in his mouth at that moment, and when he opened to speak, a fleck of muffin flew out in my direction. He quickly covered his mouth, and his cheeks turned a shade of crimson. It was a good thing that wasn’t a real date. Maybe it could be a practice one for whenever he was ready to go on an actual date.
“Geez, Travis. Say it. Don’t spray it.” I playfully wiped pretend crumbs off my forearms. “You really need to lighten up. We should go out for beers next time. Coffee and sugar make people too jittery.”
“Really. You would consider hanging out with me again?” Wow. His confidence needed some work.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his bewilderment. His awkwardness was refreshing. “I like you, Travis. I would really enjoy hanging out with you again on another non-date.”
“I could pick you up next time. Then you won’t be annoyed by my showing up late to the bar.”
“Thanks for the offer, but if you pick me up, then it would kind of be like a date, right?” He shrugged at my response. “Have you never been friends with a female before?”
“Not that I can recall.”
“Me either.” He relaxed into a genuine laugh at my comment, and I finally felt better about our coffee excursion.
“So what does that mean? You only have men as friends?” His questioning eyes widened and he placed his forearms on the table leaning in toward me.
“Well, my two best friends are…were men.” A frustrated, long exhale rushed out of me in response to my reminiscence, and I collapsed back against my chair. “Cameron has always been my best friend, but, well…the other man…”
His voice erupted from his throat before I could even finish translating my thought into words. “The other man was the one that broke your heart.” I nodded and he continued. “So you were friends with him for a long time, but when you crossed the line, you got your heart broken?”
“Something like that.”
“Maybe a story for next time?” I wasn’t sure I would be sharing that story at our next meeting, but maybe someday.
“I’m meeting Cameron for lunch later. Do you want to come along?” His face lit up like he was just asked to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table in high school.
“I don’t want to intrude.” He made the statement, but his expression implied he only said it to be polite, but he really wanted to go.
“Travis, if your friend invites you to go somewhere, you can either say you can or you can’t. You don’t need to feel like you have to ask permission for something you have been invited to.” After our exchange, I presumed he taught history or economics or some other equally boring social science. He played golf for goodness’ sake.
“Okay, then I can go. I don’t have any plans for lunch.” His attempt to conceal a smile still managed to peek through his stoic expression.
“Perfect. We are meeting at Hauston’s at twelve thirty.” I stood and grabbed the paper liner from my muffin, the balled-up napkins I had used, and my empty paper coffee cup before tossing all the waste products into the trash can.
Travis rose to his feet once I stood. “Am I going to see you play basketball at a pickup game soon?” I guess tossing trash into the receptacle reminded him of the hoops I dodged out of last week.
“Maybe. But I prefer running or biking.” Besides, if Cam invited Louis again, I wasn’t in an emotional place where I could see him yet.
“Oh sorry. I forgot. The guy.” I nodded. He might as well know that much. “Well, maybe I will take up running.” That thought made me smile. I ran alone for so long that I figured things would return to how they always were once Louis abandoned my jogging routine. But I missed the company. I knew it was silent company, but it was so calming to have someone with me during my run. I always had my music to listen to, which I used to think was company enough. But until I had a living, breathing human jogging alongside me, making every turn, climbing every hill, and sprinting at the same stretch every time, I hadn’t realized how much I would enjoy it. The sound of Louis’s feet slapping the pavement next to mine was soothing, and hearing his quickened breath was sexy. What the hell? It wasn’t having just anyone with me. It was havi
ng Louis with me. Damn him.
18
Charlie
Travis and I went to lunch with Cameron after I had texted him our coffee non-date had ended up okay after all. I let my brother know I was not interested in Travis as more than a friend. He actually accused me of trying to replace Louis with Travis in our threesome. After being a little upset that he would even suggest that, I realized he was maybe at least partially right. Travis was already friends with Cam, so once I became friends with him, it was easy for him to tag along on our excursions.
Travis joined me on my runs several times over the last three weeks. The three of us had played pool, gone fishing, and on two long bike rides. We ate fried chicken watching television at my apartment, ate pizza and played cards at Cam’s apartment, and ate grilled chicken and vegetables sitting on the deck of Travis’s townhouse. He really meshed very nicely with Cam and me. Since I didn’t have any romantic feelings toward Travis, things were so easy. That’s what I enjoyed the most.
Sure, I missed the hand holding and the hugs and innocent kisses with Louis. Of course, I missed the other not-so-innocent things, too. But I knew Cam probably felt like a third wheel when in the presence of the affection that Louis and I shared, whether it was innocent or not. He didn’t feel like the third wheel in our newly developed trio. I asked him if he had spoken with Louis, and he assured me he hadn’t. I guess my brother was able to avoid letting Louis invade his thoughts. I was not so fortunate. I still thought of him every. Single. Day.
Tonight at work, there was a steady influx of patients. In between triaging patients, I saw my brother strut into the emergency department like he owned the place. I swear the girls I work with continue to swoon over him and he loves every second of it. He proceeded to the nurse’s station, I assumed, while I assessed my last patient.
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