She hugged me and then kissed Cam on the cheek. “Hey, Claude,” our brother managed to stammer.
Louis stood to hug her, and she kissed his cheek, too. “It’s good to see you again, Claude.” The boys have always called her Claude, although she always told them she hated it. She didn’t mention that now, though.
She made her way to the other side of the table and held out her hand to Alexis. “Hi, I’m Claudette.”
“Alexis.” She pumped her hand once without standing up from her chair. They nodded to each other and my sister turned toward Travis.
Louis had returned to his seat, but Travis was standing when Claudette reached for his hand. “Hi, Claudette, I’m Travis.” But rather than shake her hand as Alexis had done, he grabbed her hand and brought it to his face to plant a soft kiss on the dorsum side.
Claudette blushed as I watched with my mouth gaping open. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I had seen stars in his eyes. I don’t know if I had ever seen Travis look at a woman with such awe before. I guess Claudette was his type. He mentioned his taste in pretty, blonde, very feminine, sweet-smelling, fake smile wearing, stylish woman that resembled my sister. He pulled out her chair for her and after she sat and he pushed the seat in for her, he sat next to her. The two of them began a dialogue, which left just Louis and me to ourselves.
Fortunately, the waitress appeared to take our drink order, and then I was able to be engrossed in looking at my menu. Once the waitress returned with our drinks and took our meal orders, I was left to sit in silence or speak to Louis. The other two couples didn’t seem to have any problem with discussion over everything and anything. Yet Louis and I sat in uncomfortable silence, as if we didn’t know each other.
I kindly excused myself from the table to visit the ladies’ room. I didn’t really need to go, but I needed a break away from sitting next to the man who still owned my heart, but that I couldn’t have. After looking at myself in the mirror and reapplying my lip gloss, I pushed open the door to go back to my seat. At least if our food arrived soon, I could fill my mouth with my meal, and not have to talk.
As I released the swinging door behind me, I noticed Louis standing in front of me in the corridor to the restrooms. If he had been walking to the men’s room, it would have made sense to run into him in this hallway, but he just stood in the wake of women rushing in and out of the ladies’ room.
“Charlie…” The whispered sound of my name on his lips caused a warm feeling deep within my belly.
“What are you doing standing outside of the ladies’ room?” My hopeful hitch betrayed my desired nonchalant front.
“I wanted to talk with you.” He didn’t approach me. He continued to stand several feet away, but his desperate eyes lured me toward him.
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I apologize if I have made tonight uncomfortable for you. That was not my intention. I have missed you all, and I want to be able to spend time with you and Cam again. However, if that’s not something that works for you, let me know, and I will back off. I swear. I want to be a part of your life, but I don’t want to invade your life.”
“A lot of stuff has happened between us, Louis.” Despair crossed his facial expression as his blond brows slanted down to a frown. “But you will always be my friend. No matter what.” And just like that, relief washed over his face as a smile eased through the mask of his uncertainty. “You will always be the boy I grew up with. You have been someone Cam and I could always count on, and I want to always be there for you, too.” There was so much more I wanted to say, but my heart couldn’t provide any translation to my brain.
“So do you think maybe we could go back to the table and talk to each other like things aren’t terribly awkward between us?” His eyes searched mine for an answer.
I didn’t know how to respond with words, so I merely took two steps toward him and wrapped my arms around his waist for a hug. He reciprocated by placing his arms around my shoulders, and he gently rubbed my back ever so lightly. I pressed the side of my face against his chest and inhaled his scent. I had missed him so much. I missed not just seeing him. I missed his arms around me. I quickly realized that we were in each other’s arms, but I wasn’t ready to let go yet. We definitely held each other longer than was necessary or appropriate, but knowing that the others at our table would suspect something if we didn’t return soon, I finally broke our embrace.
“We should get back to the table.” I tried to sound sensible, but his silly grin made it difficult. He actually looked…well, happy. I had almost forgotten what happy looked like on him.
“So are we okay?” The hopeful hitch in his tone was affirmed as his brilliant aqua eyes lowered and his smile widened.
“We will always be okay.” Then I slapped him on the shoulder, just like I used to do when we were kids.
We managed to return to our seats at the table and sit next to each other during an entire meal and exchanged conversation like the old friends we were. Travis drove Louis home since Alexis and Cam decided to go out for ice cream after dinner. I would have driven Louis home, but I didn’t want to overstep the boundaries that still seemed to be a blur in the sand. I wasn’t sure what our friendship would look like once it was reestablished.
It was nine o’clock, and I knew I was only in my early twenties, but lounging on my couch in front of the television in my pajamas sounded so good at that moment. I was nowhere near being tired since I practically slept all day, but I certainly didn’t feel like having a night on the town, either. I would contently settle for Netflix and a cup of hot chocolate. Grabbing a blanket from my linen closet, I sat on my comfy couch with the remote in my hand and my hot cocoa steaming in a mug sitting on my end table.
But just as I selected a recently released rom-com movie, I heard a click at my door, and I watched the deadbolt shift its position. My heart rate accelerated as the knob turned and my door opened. Please let it be my brother. Please let it be my brother. I said in a silent plea. A tall man entered my door, but he wasn’t my twin.
The adrenaline coursing through my veins turned my breathing erratic, and I couldn’t seem to swallow the lump in my throat to find my voice. I sat paralyzed on my couch as a breathtaking blond man with amazing cobalt-colored eyes and a tense, hard body approached me. My heart was racing, not just from being scared half to death, but from Louis abruptly stepping into my living room with his brow wrinkled and a determined stride.
“Charlie…”
And then that same feeling overtook my senses. Happiness tugged at my heartstrings, yet caution and worry plummeted into my gut. The last time he was in my apartment, we had made love for the first time. It was over quickly and left my heart shattered, but I still felt a warmth between my legs remembering how it felt for our bodies to meld together.
“What are you doing here Louis?” I knew my voice came out as barely a whisper because my throat continued to be parched so my voice was barely audible.
His tall, lean body swaggered as he approached me on the couch. With a sudden jerk, he stretched his long arms toward me, grabbing my hands with his own, and heaved me up into a standing position. His blue eyes beckoned quietly until his gaze captured me. The intense connection between us crackled in the air.
His churning eyes never left mine, but his hands cupped my face. I subconsciously parted my lips from the smoldering heat spreading throughout my body and the anticipation of an electrifying kiss. When his lips crashed into mine, all the feelings I had tried to cage flew out of me and surrounded us. We kissed each other as if the famine had broken out and our hunger would be cured by devouring each other in passionate kisses.
His tongue was warm and inviting and he efficiently explored the cavern within my mouth. Until he pushed me away, breathlessly causing my heart to plummet into my stomach. My dazed senses turned my legs wobbly and my brain clouded. What was happening? I questioned him with only my eyes as my voice had taken refuge deep in my throat and could not be
found at that moment.
“I had a whole speech prepared before I drove over here, but once I got here, all I wanted to do was kiss you.” His hands had dropped to his sides but now reached up to twirl my loose curls around his fingers. “I can’t even remember everything I wanted to say.”
I cleared my throat in an effort to conjure up my ability to speak. “Tell me whatever you remember. I promise to listen to whatever you want to say.” I had dreamed of the moment that Louis Coleman strutted into my apartment and grabbed me off this couch to profess his undying love for me and tell me how much he missed me while showering me with ardent kisses. I wanted to hear the speech.
He motioned for me to sit on the couch, and he sat next to me, sinking our weight deep into the soft cushions. “I want you to be more than my friend. I want you to be my girlfriend or whatever title you want to call it. I just want to be yours and know you only belong to me. But I still want us to be friends too, though. I know I messed things up last time.” A soft tinkle of a laugh escaped my lips as they turned up in delight. “We will always be friends first, but I don’t want any rules. Our relationship can develop into anything we want. I am totally okay with that. Somehow we did things too slow last time and then fast-forwarded too forcefully. This time, if you give me a chance, I promise to let our relationship progress like it should. We will go out on dates, and hold hands, and kiss each other. And we can let everyone know we are together. I want the whole world to know that I am the luckiest man on this continent because you chose to be with me. Please give me a chance to do this the right way.” His pleading eyes made my heart swell right before reality slammed into my chest.
“What about the ‘L’ word? That always seems to terminate our relationship.” Tears were stinging the front of my eyes threatening to spill out. I should have happily jumped up and down at the chance Louis was willing to give us, but we still needed to talk about that difficult topic.
His large, strong hands covered my tiny ones and soft light illuminated the depths of his blue eyes, causing a flutter to develop within my stomach. “Charlene Callahan, I have loved you my whole life. No matter what kind of relationship we have, that will never change.”
“So if I tell you I love you again, you won’t run away?” I felt myself bite my lower lip in anticipation of his response.
“There is no more running away for me. I am here, with you, as long as you want me to be.”
I glanced down at our hands joined together. He broke one of his hands free and placed it under my chin, urging me to look up at him. Several moments ticked by as his cobalt gaze held me captive, forcing me to stare at the man I knew I couldn’t live without.
“Well, kick your shoes off and get comfortable. I was just getting ready to watch a good old-fashioned chick flick.” I turned away to grab the remote and my blanket while stretching my legs out over his lap.
He took my advice and kicked his shoes off, but then he wedged himself alongside me between my body and the back cushions of the couch. I slid over to accommodate space for him. Then he wrapped his arm around me while I nestled my back up against his chest. It felt natural and wonderful, and warm, and right. Satisfaction pulled a smile from my lips because I sensed Louis was home for good.
24
Louis
We fell asleep on that couch again. I didn’t feel one bit sleepy when I settled in next to her, but I had no choice except to succumb to my physical and emotional exhaustion before the movie was halfway over. Snuggled up against the warmth of her body was better than any sleeping pill I could have taken. I felt slightly smashed in the tight space, but having her next to me was all I wanted. I did worry that she may not be very comfortable since she shifted her weight several times during sleep.
I slid my hand between our bodies and into the front pocket of my jeans to pull out my cell phone. Just after midnight. She should probably get into her bed. I raked my fingers through her hair to expose her ear. “Hey, sweetheart,” I whispered along her lobe.
“Hmmm?” She tried to turn toward me, but almost flipped herself off the couch in the process. I maintained a firm grip around her waist. I wouldn’t have let her fall. “Am I dreaming?”
I brushed my lips across hers in her sleepy state. “You aren’t dreaming. This is you and me now.” I grazed my fingers across her face and watched her eyelashes flutter as she tried to hold her eyes open. “Let me help you get to bed. It will be more comfortable.”
She only nodded to my request and sleepily sat up while shoving her feet along the floor beneath her and shuffling them forward toward her bedroom. I followed behind her and watched her climb up into her bed and disappear beneath the covers.
She was facing away from me, so I kissed the back of her head, and turned to walk away. “Aren’t you going to stay?” she said while still looking at the wall.
I reapproached the bed. “I can if you want.”
She flipped over toward me, still wearing half hooded eyes. “Of course I want you to. Now get in here with me.”
She didn’t need to tell me twice. I shucked off my jeans and pulled my shirt off over my head. I slid underneath the covers and snuggled up against the warmth of her body. It only felt like a few moments before a peaceful slumber pulled me under its spell.
The next time I woke up, daylight streamed into her room. Her brown hair lay in tumbling waves on her pillow, and her breathing was quiet and rhythmic. I examined every one of her movements, taking in the image of Charlie asleep next to me. I wanted to wake up next to her every day from now on. We have been friends for nearly twenty years. Now we are in love and we are together. I know I said I was going to do things right this time, but I wanted to share not just a bed together. I wanted to share a life together. Hopefully she would be okay with my staying with her the next couple of days until I need to go back to work on Friday. I had an overnight bag in my car, having planned to maybe stay at my mom’s house or Cam’s apartment last night after dinner, but I would probably need more clothes if I stayed until Friday. I guess I would have to go shopping again.
I had already texted my cousin that I wasn’t going to be working any landscaping jobs this week. He had been so great about everything. When I needed to work to get my mind off things, he’d let me work hard. But when I needed a break and time to myself, he’d let me have that, too. Maybe I wasn’t blessed in the parent department, but I had at least one family member who I could always count on. And of course, there were the people who weren’t related by blood, but they were called family just the same.
Cam had always been like a brother to me. I couldn’t believe that I stayed away from him for five years. Fortunately, he’d let me back into his life like only a brother would. And then there was Charlie. My feelings for her just couldn’t be described sufficiently. I loved her like family, and I loved her unconditionally with all my heart and soul. I know now, without a doubt in my mind, that I absolutely could not live without her. I couldn’t stay away from her ever again. I needed to be near her—to touch her and hold her. I had to be able to smell and taste her. I essentially needed her just as much as I needed oxygen to breathe. My world had been so dark until she had brought light to it again. Then, when things turned dark again, I sought refuge in her light. I dove deep into her warmth and sunshine, but I felt a heaviness of guilt in doing so.
When she told me she loved me, I was so consumed by the darkness surrounding me that I refused to believe that I deserved her shining light. I was worried I had used her, and that I would only drag her down in the end rather than what was really true…that she had lifted me up. She made me want to see the light. She made me want to dig out of the hole, come up for air, and see the sun again. And as she lay next to me in her super comfortable bed, I knew I wanted that kind of happiness. There was no other way for me to go forward in life. I no longer had room for resentment, shame, and disappointment. I only had a place for her and the joy she brought me.
She began to stir, and one of her eyes popped open
. “Are you watching me sleep?”
Busted. I was still lying down next to her with my elbow propped beneath me, facing her direction. She pulled the covers over her head, but I pulled them back down quickly so I could continue to see her face. Her gray eyes gradually opened fully and brightly gleamed at me, and that intense gaze caused a tightening in my chest.
I gave her a light and flirty smile and she seemed to relax slightly. When I brushed my lips against hers in the lightest of a kiss, I felt her loosen up at my touch. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Is this really Louis Coleman using the word sweetheart as a term of endearment toward me?” An adorable blush spread through her cheeks which brought my mouth into a half smile.
“Would you rather I call you by another name? Because I think sweetheart fits you perfectly.” I leaned over and smacked a quick kiss on her lips again. “You taste as sweet as honey, and you are my heart.” Intertwining her fingers with mine, I pulled her hand toward me and placed it on the left upper part of my chest. “I ignored it for much too long. My heart was empty and hollow without you in my life. Now with you back in my life, the heaviness of my heartache has lifted and my heart thunders full of life.”
With her fingers pressing harder against my chest, and her eyelashes fluttering, she looked sleepy and sexy. I combed my fingers through her hair and drew her head to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck, bringing our faces only a breath apart. So I reflexively grabbed her firmly around the waist and pulled the rest of her body flush against mine. Then I silenced her whispered gasp as I crashed my lips to her mouth in a hot, sensual kiss.
Her lips parted slightly, inviting my tongue to dance with hers. I wanted to drink every bit of her. Her fingertips skidded along my shirtless back, and I couldn’t help but trace my fingers along her bare legs. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t move fast, but here I was with no desire to stop until I was embedded in her warmth again.
Love Burns Page 20