Her stomach did a flip flop as she wrestled with a mixture of uncertainty and jealousy. She stopped pacing the length of her small cabin and walked over to the sliding glass door instead. Rather than going out onto the balcony, she stayed just inside and leaned against the wall looking out over the ocean.
Going over every word of their conversation through the day, and yesterday too, wasn't a particularly constructive use of her time. In fact, she was probably just twisting herself up into knots. But depending on what she'd said, particularly this morning, perhaps she'd scared him or put him off in some way.
Thinking back not just to the words that had been spoken between them, but remembering the tiny quirk of his mouth and the way his tone had gone neutral, some of what she said hadn't sat well with him. She'd been honest, but in his place, she would've felt uncomfortable being told there was no room for her in his life after this cruise was over. It was fair if he’d reacted badly to what she’d said.
The question was whether she should fix it or whether she should let it stand. She'd expressed what she felt was the truth, however brutal, but this wasn't a corporate environment where expectations were set to protect the success of a given venture. This was supposed to be relaxing and there should be room for spontaneity and flexibility. The idea of permanence hadn’t been anything he’d brought up so she’d been aggressively preemptive in what she’d said.
She wasn’t even sure why she’d felt it necessary to say there was no chance.
Liar.
There was no one else in the room and she wasn’t even speaking out loud. But she had still called herself out. She’d been uncomfortable with her single status for a while now, and relieved when her friends hadn’t pushed to ask why. It was easier to say there was no time, no room for someone in her life. Then, being lonely wasn’t a choice. She didn’t know when she’d started giving herself that particular out.
Looking out on the balcony, she could still remember the feel of Bryan’s lips on her skin, his hands…she’d wanted him so much she’d been scared to want more. So she’d been nervous and she’d talked too much in an attempt to outrun the nervous energy building in her since yesterday and here she was now, with no Bryan. She wasn’t sure what options she had to help herself feel better. Staying inside her cabin was definitely not the answer.
In moments, she’d pulled out her pencil skirt and a silk sleeveless camisole. She generally wore the cami under a blazer, but not tonight. Hopefully, she’d find some courage on her way down to the bar area. If luck was with her, she’d find a dance partner, or two, and at least burn off this anxious energy with some dancing. She didn’t know if she’d bump into her friends down there. No one had made plans to meet up after dinner, but they all loved to dance.
It didn’t take long.
The bars were all lively when she found her way back to the one playing Latin music. The bartender gave her a smile.”Caipirinha, right? We have a special variation tonight. I use a ginger infused simple syrup. You want to try it, my lady?”
“Sure. Thank you.” She figured she’d have a better chance of breaking her mood if she tried new things. After all, Bryan had shown her how much fun she could have in twenty-four hours with the choice to give one new idea a try.
It was a big ship and Bryan had never been one to spend his time with only one person—or any single group, for that matter—no matter where he was or what he was doing. There were plenty of one off challenges in his app he could test with someone new. The more people to give feedback, the better.
But beyond taking a few selfies with bartenders and other crew, he was not interested in making new friends. It was fine to consider all the things he could do, but he also knew what he wanted. Pretty much always. He wanted to spend more time with Grace. And want was a dangerous thing, especially if it was one-sided.
So he’d given Grace space this afternoon, deliberately finding other things to keep him busy throughout the afternoon and dinner. He figured she’d either had enough time to miss him, or decide she only wanted to see him for the promised app testing activities. There was the third possibility she didn’t want to spend any more time with him at all. He didn’t think the last was likely but he had to keep his mind open to it. He’d take another pass through the interior bar and shop area to get some more video of the party people, then swing back to her cabin to find out how Grace was feeling.
His parents may have spoiled him and his siblings in every other way possible, but they’d all been raised with a careful moral compass to guide them. If Grace’s preference was anything but a clear desire to spend time with him, he’d release her from her promise to help him out and leave her be. There was plenty of time left in the cruise for her to have fun with her friends and get the relaxation she needed.
A pair of ladies and a guy bumped into him, all laughter and good spirits. It was the guy who ran a hand over Bryan’s shoulder. “Hey handsome, want to join us.”
Bryan doled out smiles all around and shook his head. “Not this time. Have fun.”
They took his no with good humor and carried on, headed for the bar with the Latin music. He shook his head. All good looking people. He might cut his trip through this level short and go find Grace if all he was going to do was keep passing on invitations. One good conversation and at least then he’d know what might come next. This angst wasn’t his style.
“No thanks, but you all have a great time.” A sweet, familiar voice caught his attention.
He turned to see the threesome clink glasses with Grace.
“You’re the second to turn us down in as many seconds.” The brunette pouted. “Are we intimidating?”
Grace laughed and gave the taller woman, a brunette with legs for days, a hug. “You three are too much fun for me to handle.”
“At least dance with us.” The other woman, a curvy redhead, caught Grace’s hand. “Just one!”
Still laughing, Grace let herself be tugged onto the dance floor. She was stiff for the first few steps, watching the others move, but she was also a quick study. In another few beats, she’d caught the rhythm of the music and the pattern of the steps the others were showing her.
“You going to have a drink or just stand there with your mouth open, brah?”
Bryan cleared his throat and nodded to the bartender with the shit eating grin on his face.
“Why don’t I give you one of what she’s having?” The bartender jerked his head toward the dance floor.
Bryan raised an eyebrow. “How do you know which ‘she’ has my attention?”
The bartender only tapped his finger to his temple. “Occupational skill set. She’s having the house special caipirinha. If she likes hers, she’ll be back for another.”
“Let’s not wait. Give me four sealed bottles of water?”
The bartender raised both eyebrows. “I like your style, brah. Four bottles, unopened.”
Bryan took the small bottles, two in each hand, and noted the bartender’s name to make sure to tip him at the end of the cruise. He liked that this bartender, at least, hadn’t offered to mix up a drink for Bryan to take to Grace. Considering Bryan had just arrived, there was no way for the bartender to know whether or not Bryan could be trusted to be a gentleman. Sure, Grace could always decline the drink but that put the onus on her to refuse. Bryan liked it better when the bartenders didn’t enable the predators in these environments.
Grace was still with the trio, being twirled by the guy now. She was trim and cute in her pencil skirt, her silky camisole flowing over her upper body like spilled paint. She reached out to put her empty glass on a nearby table so he crossed the floor in a few ground eating steps to offer a bottle just as she was about to turn back to the floor. “Can I cut in? I bring refreshment.”
He offered the brunette and redhead the bottles in his other hand, then tossed the last to their guy.
The redhead opened the bottle and drank half in one go. “Smooth. Very smooth.”
Grace took hers and
sipped, then she smiled as he stepped into her space and brushed a loose lock of hair off her cheek. “Hi, Bryan.”
“Well, Bryan, now we know why you passed on us.” The brunette blew him a kiss. “Can’t say I blame you.”
The guy twirled a finger in the air. “We could all play together.”
The redhead gave him a kiss. “Not the way those two are making eyes at each other. Let’s let them be.”
The three of them waved and wandered away. Bryan didn’t take his eyes off Grace as she waved good bye to them. When she lifted her gaze to him, he figured the heat in her eyes meant she was happy to see him.
He had a question he wanted answered, but that could wait a bit. “Dance with me?”
She nodded, her expression a touch shy.
Good. Those others were fun for a dance, but he was someone who could make Grace shy. He took her hands in his, pulling her into a salsa. She moved with him, following his lead, until she flowed in his hands with the music around them. He plucked the hair pin out of her hair, letting it all tumble down her back and around her shoulders.
“Hey!”
Grace reached for the hair pin, but he pocketed it and held up his phone to take a selfie of the two of them in the middle of the dance floor. “You’re beautiful. Let me see you with your hair down, dancing with me.”
“For the app?” She asked, letting him take her hands and lead her into a few turns. “I guess it has a bonus round.”
Bryan gave her a wink. “The one picture was for the app. The rest of the dance is for us.”
Her smile lit up everything around him. “Okay.”
He’d had a whole lot of rational thought a few minutes ago. All that got wrapped up and shoved to the back of his mind as he just enjoyed being with Grace.
9
He’d found her.
Maybe he’d been looking for her or maybe he’d just been here at the bars to have fun. She didn’t care. Dancing with him felt so good. Her heart was light and butterflies tickled her belly every time she met his gaze.
Even better, the three people she’d been dancing with before said he’d turned them down earlier.
It didn’t mean he hadn’t been with other people. He might not like to share. But it was enough that he’d decided to invite her to dance, that he’d chosen her in this moment and she was happy to choose him. Grace did her best to follow his lead, and any time she wasn’t certain, he’d murmur a hint to help her through the dance move and then take her through it again a couple more times until she could enjoy it as part of the music. She learned more about Latin dancing in the space of three songs than she thought possible.
And wow, she’d never realized how sexy a strong lead for a dance partner could be. Wedding reception line dances were going to be forever boring in comparison.
The music slowed and Bryan placed a hand on the curve of her back, urging her in close. She let him tighten his arms around her, his fingertips on her spine, urging her to move with him in micro movements isolating her upper body and her hips. Her heart was pounding in her chest from the exertion of the earlier songs, but this, this had every muscle in her body tense for a different reason.
“Grace.” His lips pressed against her hair as he murmured close to her ear.
“Hmm?”
“Would you spend more time with me?” He pulled back so she could see his face, still leading her in time with the music. “Not just for the app. For the rest of the cruise. I know you’ll want to spend time with your friends and need some alone time for yourself too, but any time outside of that, I’d be honored if you’d consider spending it with me.”
Yes! Every fiber of her being would’ve said yes at that moment, with the exception of the tiny part of her brain calling out long term risks. Because of course. She decided to tell that part of her brain to shut up. For once, she’d mitigate risks when they happened, if they happened. “About what I said this morning. I have a plan after I get back and I won’t have time for…”
He didn’t interrupt her. He even leaned in a little to listen, which put his mouth at eye level for her. All she could think about was how much she wanted to kiss him.
“I forget what I was going to say.”
Those lips spread into a sexy smile. “I heard you this morning and I respect your plans for after this cruise. I have a counter proposal. How about we focus on what makes us happy this week, and only focus on this week. When the ship docks back into port near NYC, we can examine what choices are worth making time for then. For now, let’s dive in, no holding back, and do what we want. How about it, Grace?”
Could she do that? Stop looking far out ahead and immerse herself in just right here, right now?
“Let’s keep it to simple choices. No need to think too hard.” He stepped away and spun her out into a slow turn, then pulled her back in close. “Only think about what will make you happy in the next moment. Would you like to keep dancing? Yes or no?”
She could do that. “Yes.”
He leaned in until their foreheads touched and they danced that way for the rest of the song.
“May I kiss you?”
This was…she could do this. One decision at a time. No thinking too hard. Just yes or no. Just being honest about what she wanted. She wanted him, of that, she absolutely no doubts. “Yes.”
He bent and captured her mouth with his, his kiss slow and unhurried. Oh, she loved kissing him. They tasted each other, still moving to the music as the next song started. The world around them faded and at the same time, she was hyper aware of every point of contact between them. His hands slid from the small of her back down over her behind. The smooth fabric of his shirt warmed under her hands and the play of his muscles under the fabric teased her. Her nipples were tight as her breasts ached, pressed against the hard planes of his chest.
As he broke their kiss, he whispered in her ear, “Will you come back to my room with me?”
No thinking, just what she wanted. “Yes.”
He drew her off the dance floor immediately. She laughed, giddy, as they rushed toward the elevator. They were a pair of goal driven people. He stole a kiss as they were in the elevator but kept his hands to himself, mostly. The other people in the elevator were all similarly involved with each other but she was relieved he didn’t go for as much as the others were doing. Instead, he made space for her to exit the elevator on his floor and led her through the suite lounge again.
“Hungry? Thirsty?” Even in a rush, she realized, he paused to give her a chance as new tempting options presented themselves.
She did snag a canapé, mostly because she loved caviar but only had it at the occasional conference event. Popping the bite into her mouth, she enjoyed the burst of salty complexity, then slipped her hand into his. “I’m good.”
“This’ll be here for a few hours, if you want some later.” He tugged her up a set of stairs edged in crystal and lit from the sides and paused at a bowl, placed discreetly on a pedestal to one side of the staircase.
Condoms.
She laughed. They were all over the ship, generally out in the open for anyone to take as many as might be needed. It tickled her to see them here, presented with a touch more class when they were a practical and honestly, very positive, thing to have handy.
Exchanging naughty glances with Bryan, she palmed a few too. She was glad he was remembering them, but she wanted to drop a few in her purse too. He only gave her a wink and continued to take her down the hallway. In minutes, he had the door to a suite open for her.
It was roomy, several times larger than hers, with a sitting area. He wasn’t a super neat traveler. He had a jacket hanging on the back of a chair and an extra pair of pants hung over the side of the sofa. The suite was otherwise clean, just obviously occupied.
He stood behind her as she took in her surroundings. Brushing her hair to one side, he pressed his lips to the side of her neck. Delicious shivers ran through her. After enjoying dancing with him and having fun wherever he’d tak
en her on the dance floor, she was happy to follow his lead here too.
“Do you want to be on a bed?” He murmured the question against her skin.
The bed. Oh, they were definitely doing this. Anticipation burst through her as if she’d sipped the best, lightest spritzer she’d ever tasted.
“Yes.” She breathed out the answer. It was a good thing he was keeping to simple responses. She didn’t think she was going to be able to manage answers requiring coherent sentences from here on out.
He scooped her up in his arms then and carried her through the sitting room into a luxuriously appointed bedroom. She tucked her face against his shoulder until he set her down gently on the edge of the bed.
“Are you okay?” Going down on one knee, he waited until she met his gaze. One hand rested easily on the bed beside her without touching her and the other rested on his raised knee. “We can stop any time.”
She shook her head, then realized a yes or no wasn’t going to work here, because it was both. “Yes, I’m okay. No, I don’t want to stop.”
“You’re sure. It’s totally okay. We can go back out to the lounge and have something to eat or go back to dancing, or I can walk you back to your room.” There was no anger at all in his tone, only sincere consideration, and her heart expanded painfully to hear it.
“I’m just wrestling a little with old body image issues,” she admitted. Damn, she’d never even talked about these with her friends back in college. Hard to explain when everyone around you thought you were tiny, and she had been small comparatively, in the US. “I grew up in the US, but my parents came to the US from Korea. I was always a little too big, definitely not the ideal image they had in their minds when it came to a healthy weight or figure. I had a cousin who grew up in Korea who used to joke around that I was too immense to be carried, ever, so it would be advisable for me to work out to make sure I could get everywhere I needed to on my own two feet.”
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