by A. Zavarelli
As we passed one door, a grunting sound filtered out, followed by the audible slapping of flesh coming together. My stomach roiled, but the question on my mind died in my throat as Ace stopped beside one of the empty rooms and gestured me inside.
The space was small and basic. A nightstand, a bed, and a table. But all those objects blurred into the background as my eyes found the pretty brunette nurse I recognized from the hospital. She was sitting in one of the chairs, flipping through a magazine, comfortable enough to indicate this wasn’t her first visit here.
A bitter taste coated my tongue as my eyes carved a path over her. My green-eyed monster tried to find something wrong with her, but I couldn’t. She was a divine composition of beauty, grace, and perfect symmetry. Her presence knocked me off balance, and I couldn’t really understand why.
“Kylie, this is Birdie.” Ace kneaded the tension from his neck as he glanced back and forth between us, obviously uncomfortable with the exchange.
Kylie looked over me with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. I wondered what she saw when she looked at me. Realistically, the faults she might find in me were limitless. But whatever she was thinking, I couldn’t tell.
“Why don’t you have a seat?” she suggested.
“What’s going on?” I crossed my arms and looked at Ace.
“Kylie’s a nurse,” he answered as if I didn’t already know this. “Sit down so she can take the needles out of your back.”
I tried to think of a legitimate protest, but before I could, Ace disappeared out the door, leaving me to fend for myself.
I looked at Kylie, and she looked at me. An awkward silence ensued, and I was tempted to tell her I could just remove the damn things myself. The last thing I wanted was to show weakness in front of her, but admittedly, I was curious. I wanted to know more about her, and this might be my only opportunity. Who was she to Ace? Did he love her? Did she love him? My thoughts couldn’t be silenced.
Against my better judgment, I took a seat at the table and waited. Kylie had a spread of first-aid supplies already laid out, but first, she walked around behind me and reached for the hem of my shirt.
“Just going to take a peek to see what we’re working with here,” she said. Her voice was calm, and I assumed that was probably a benefit to her patients. She didn’t make a fuss over the gory scene on my back but rather went to work gathering her supplies.
“I’m going to remove the clumps first,” she explained as she reached for a pair of tweezers.
I nodded and held my breath as she started to work behind me. The room was so quiet I could hear myself breathing, and I felt the need to fill the silence. But Kylie beat me to it.
“How do you know Ace?”
The question was casual, but I wondered about the motivations behind it. I found it odd that she didn’t know about me. For over a year now, Ace had been a thorn in my side. At some point, logic would dictate that we should have crossed paths. And if she was, in fact, his girlfriend, wouldn’t she have a say in him holding me captive at his house?
I wasn’t sure how much to divulge, but I decided against bringing up my current hostage situation. I doubted she would help anyway, and I didn’t want to go that route.
“He’s a friend of my sister’s husband,” I explained. “Do you know Lucian?”
“No,” she answered. “Other than the hospital, of course.”
That fact alone spoke volumes because I knew how close Ace and Lucian were. It was another oddity that she didn’t.
“How do you know Ace?” I returned.
She set down the tweezers and pulled away to gather a couple of other items before returning. “I’m just going to apply some glue and gauze. We’ll have to let it dry, and then it should pull out the remaining spines.”
She hadn’t answered my question, opting to work quietly until she finished. When she got up again, she washed her hands in the sink and then turned to me.
“It’s going to take about thirty minutes to dry, so we have some time.”
I nodded, and she studied me.
“I’m a friend of his,” she answered finally.
Friend. The tone of her voice indicated that was a loose term, and I got the impression it was a restriction she didn’t like. I also didn’t believe they were just friends. She hadn’t dropped everything to come all the way out here just because Ace asked her to. When she looked at him, it was evident she knew him in a way I didn’t.
“Does that mean friends with benefits?” I asked.
Kylie tilted her head to the side, a smirk playing across her lips. Admittedly, I’d said it because I was looking for a reaction. But she was unfazed, and instead of giving me what I wanted, she called me on my bullshit.
“I’m not the enemy, you know.”
At that moment, I wished I could be half as cool as she was, and I hated myself a little bit for being so petty. I didn’t know why Ace was bringing out this side of me. I felt like he already belonged to me in some way, and that was ridiculous and irrational.
“I’m sorry.” I blew out a breath. “It’s been a long couple of days.”
“It looks like it,” Kylie acknowledged as her eyes drifted over my scrapes and bruises. “Mind if I ask what happened?”
“Nothing major.” I shrugged. “Just got lost wandering around the compound.”
Something shifted in her eyes, and I knew I’d said the wrong thing when she sat down. “You’re staying here?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“At the clubhouse?”
I swallowed and tried to be casual, but it felt like I was delivering a blow I didn’t necessarily like. “At Ace’s house. Lucian asked him to keep an eye on me, I guess.”
“Huh.” Kylie removed a cigarette from her pocket and lit up, surprising me.
“Is that a problem?” I hedged. “You can tell him to turn me loose if it is.”
She turned her head to the side and released a puff of smoke. “I’ve never been to his house.”
I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
Her delicate fingers flicked the ashes into the tray beside her as she shrugged. “He told me he doesn’t bring women to his house.”
“Well, I’m sure he’d rather not have me there,” I assured her. “I’m a pain in his ass, and he’s just doing a favor for my sister.”
Kylie didn’t look convinced, but she accepted it the way I assumed she must accept everything. With a cool manner I could only dream of possessing.
“How old are you anyway?” she asked.
“Twenty.” And I’d never felt it until that moment. When she observed me, there was concern in her eyes. It was the same way Gypsy often looked at me. As though I was too young to navigate this world by myself. But my age was just a number. Mentally, I’d been forced to grow up a long time ago.
“You’re very pretty,” Kylie noted as she snuffed out her cigarette. “I can see why he likes you.”
“He doesn’t like me.” I laughed awkwardly. “He can barely tolerate me.”
She nodded, but it was apparent she was just humoring me. “I guess we should probably check that gauze, huh? I’m sure you’re ready to be done with the pain.”
AN HOUR HAD COME AND gone by the time Kylie finally came to get me. My discomfort with the situation was obvious, and she seemed to pick up on it as she approached.
“I told Birdie to lie down and rest for a bit,” she said.
I nodded. “Did you check her knees and ankles too?”
“Yes.” Kylie leaned against the bar, glancing up at me with an expression that spelled trouble ahead. “What happened to her?”
“She’s reckless.” I blew out a breath and shrugged.
My words didn’t improve Kylie’s expression, and I didn’t really expect them to. I wasn’t in the habit of explaining things to her because we didn’t have that type of relationship, but tonight I’d have to make an exception.
“You got her high,” she noted sourly.
“S
he was in pain.”
“I’d venture a guess that goes without saying. That girl has problems, Ace.”
Her observation triggered a defensiveness I didn’t know how to deflect. “She’s fine. Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand.”
“I’m a nurse.” Kylie glared. “Give me some credit, yeah? What is she doing with you anyway?”
I didn’t know how to answer that question. How could I when I didn’t even understand it myself?
“If you want to help her, maybe you should consider—”
“She doesn’t need your help,” I ground out. When it came to Birdie, I couldn’t check my protective instincts. She wasn’t the kind of girl who wanted people to know about her past, and I certainly wasn’t going to let anyone make assumptions about her, Kylie included.
“What’s going on here?” Kylie pursed her lips. “Who is she to you?”
My response should have been automatic, and that was what the real problem was. Birdie was nothing to me. A friend of a friend. A pain in my ass. But I couldn’t say it.
“She’s a lot younger than you,” Kylie pointed out. “Have you given that any thought?”
I dragged a hand through my hair as my frustration compounded. “I know she’s young.”
Kylie seemed taken aback by my tone, but I didn’t like what she was implying. Maybe it was just in my head, but her words sounded accusatory. Even if her intentions were good, I didn’t like how she was looking at me as though I would hurt Birdie somehow.
Birdie appeared at the end of the hall, and like a magnet, my eyes found hers. For a second, she held my gaze, and I forgot about all the shit that made this situation so messy. But then something shifted as her attention broke away, and I could practically see her slipping back into her invisible armor. We were in a room full of my brothers, and they hadn’t missed the pretty blonde either. To them, Birdie was all legs and tits and ass. It lit a fire under my own feet before I even realized what I was doing.
“Come on,” I told Kylie. It was time I got my fucking head screwed on straight.
She followed me over to Birdie, and I resisted the urge to ask her if she was okay.
“You need to rest,” I said.
Birdie’s eyes bounced back and forth between us before I turned her around and led her down the hall to the room. “Nobody will bother you in here.”
She stood there silently, and I didn’t know what else to say. So I left her there and led Kylie down the hall to a different room. Before I closed the door behind us, my eyes connected with Birdie’s one more time. She looked hurt, but she also looked like it was exactly what she expected from me. Every person she’d ever cared about had betrayed her, so why should I be any different? Tension coiled in my gut as I shut her out with an audible click of the door.
I sent Kodiak a quick text, instructing him to keep an eye on Birdie and make sure she didn’t leave the building. He replied with a thumbs-up, and I turned my attention to Kylie. On the bed behind her, she already had her overnight bag full of her preferred torture tools and first-aid supplies. When she noticed my eyes roving over it, she shrugged.
“It’s Friday, remember?”
Right. Because she was supposed to come for the weekend. And Kylie had only ever stayed in the clubhouse. She hadn’t been to my house. I’d kept our arrangement as simple as it could possibly be, but now it felt like everything was too fucked up to navigate.
She wanted answers, and I felt like I owed them to her even though it wasn’t the kind of relationship we had. I thought this thing between us was the closest I could ever get to a relationship. We’d never been intimate because it wasn’t sex I needed from her. It was pain. And for as long as I’d asked, she kept coming back to dole it out. But now, I was aware that I hadn’t imagined what I already knew. Kylie wanted more from me. I didn’t know how long she’d wanted more, but it was written clear as day in her eyes.
She wasn’t naïve, and she wasn’t one to mince words, so it didn’t surprise me when she approached me with a quiet hunger, her hands flattening against my chest. “Is this still working for you, Ace?”
It was a loaded question, but the answer should have been simple. Birdie had been infecting my every thought for months, and now she was here, in my space. I couldn’t shake the torment I felt every time I looked at her. But it was so fucking wrong, and this was just so much easier. Kylie didn’t ask for more from me. She didn’t need me to be sensitive or try to figure out her feelings. All she needed was to give me what I thought I wanted. Every boundary I’d set made no sense now, and part of me was tempted just to make Birdie hate me by fucking Kylie here and now. But when I looked down at her, I knew that wasn’t fair to anyone.
“For fuck’s sake.” I pulled away and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Kylie. But aren’t you tired of this? Aren’t you tired of waiting around for me all the time? Aren’t you tired of the fucked-up shit I ask of you?”
Her answering smile revealed a sadness I never knew she felt. “That’s what we agreed on from the beginning. I knew better than to hope for anything else from you, Ace. I didn’t think it was possible. But the way you look at her… I think maybe it is. Just not with me.”
I sat down on the bed and rested my elbows on my knees as I leaned forward and stared at the floor. “I never thought it was possible either,” I admitted. “I didn’t want this. I still don’t. But there’s something about that girl. She drives me fucking crazy.”
Kylie sat down beside me and sighed. “She’s beautiful and tragic, and I think that’s kinda your thing. Just… be careful with her, okay? She seems fragile.”
My voice was gravelly with unnatural emotion. “She is.”
Quiet descended on us, and I felt like an asshole, but this was the right thing to do. I’d let this situation go on for far too long, and Kylie deserved better.
“Find a man who takes you out to dinner. Buys you flowers. Someone nice.”
Her shoulders shook with laughter. “That would be a change of pace, I suppose.”
“You deserve nothing less,” I told her. “And if any fucker ever hurts you, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” She gathered her purse and then looked up at me as I stood. “Can I at least have a hug before I go?”
I dragged her into my arms, embracing her in a hug that was more of a thank you. She’d put up with my shit and never asked for more, and even now, when she rightfully could have eviscerated me, she was nothing but a class act.
I’d never kissed Kylie. I’d never just held her. I’d never given her all the things she probably wanted, and I hoped she would find someone who could give those things to her. When I released her, and she headed for the door, I knew letting her go was the right thing. I felt a weight lifting from my chest as this chapter of my life came to an end. She represented a part of my past I’d been holding onto for far too long. Without her, I knew there would be no more pain, but for the first time in my life, I was okay with that.
She glanced at me one last time with a smile that assured me she would be all right. “Take care of yourself, Ace.”
MY EYES LINGERED ON THE door that separated me from him. He was in there with his beautiful, bright-eyed nurse. She was probably touching him. Kissing him. Breathing him in. Learning his body in a way I never would.
It felt like an arrow straight through the heart I didn’t know I had. Why did it matter? He wasn’t anything to me. Except Ace and I had history. From the moment he first captured me in his net, he’d been playing games with my heart. He couldn’t possibly know it, but I thought about him often. I wondered what forces of nature conspired to create the man he was. The quiet, prickly bear of a man who had somehow managed to become a dependable nuisance in my life. Maybe that was why I found myself so drawn to him. Nuisance or not, I’d never been able to depend on many people. In fact, I could count them on one finger. But Ace made two.
Only, that rationalization didn’t justify the way my eyes were burni
ng or my body was trembling. It physically hurt to think of him in there with her. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t. She’d been nice to me, and I think that was the worst part of it all.
I gently closed the door and padded back to the bed, weighing my options. More than anything, I wanted to escape. I wanted to run away and leave him and his mind-fucking ways behind. But I couldn’t, not in my current condition. I’d tried twice already, and I’d paid for it dearly. My body was exhausted. Limp. Throbbing. The weed was wearing off, and my emotions were catching up with me.
I wanted to text Gypsy, but I didn’t have a phone anymore. Trouble had betrayed me, and now Ace too. I had never felt as alone as I was at that moment. And just when the tears began to splash against my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away, the door creaked open, and there he was. My tormentor in a leather vest.
His whiskey-colored eyes locked onto mine, and I felt my breath pause. I was humiliated as I tried in vain to wipe away the evidence of my emotions, but it was too late. He’d seen the tears. I didn’t know what to expect from Ace—I never did—but when he strode toward me, his face hard, I leaned away on instinct. He caught me around the waist and hauled me up against his chest, his fingers locking around my jaw as his breath blew across my lips.
“Birdie.” His voice was hoarse, troubled, and I couldn’t figure out why. But in the next moment, I had my answer. Without warning, he leaned in and grazed his lips over mine, jump-starting my heart when he released a deep, lamented sigh. I collapsed into him, dragging in breaths of him like a drug I couldn’t shake. My desperation fed his, and we both crossed enemy lines as the kiss escalated from a subtle touch to a full-on war. His fingers dug into my scalp, holding me in place as his chest rumbled in approval when I melted against him.