by A. Zavarelli
I was so wet for him, I felt my arousal coating his cock and dripping down onto his balls. He slid in and out of me effortlessly, soaking up whatever my body offered him, but it wasn’t enough. His frustration only seemed to grow as he pinched my nipples and bit at the side of my throat, dragging his teeth across the sensitive flesh.
“Huck—” I tried to interject, desperate to see his face. I wanted to witness the pain there. I wanted him to reveal that much, but my voice only seemed to anger him.
His fingers dug deeper into my hip, and he slammed forward, rattling everything on the desk around us. There were no words. Only anguished sounds as he thrust harder, faster, deeper. I caught a glimpse of him as he let go of my hair, and I collapsed back onto the desk. His head tipped back, and his mouth parted as he became a slave to the moment. And then he ruined it by yanking his cock out of me, milking the angry flesh with his fist as the orgasm shot through him. Jets of hot come sprayed across my back and into my hair before it dripped down my sides.
Huck sighed, long and deep, his eyes opening to meet mine. They were completely vacant when he zipped himself back up and stared at me like this meant nothing. He’d intentionally left me unsatisfied, but he wasn’t finished. He had one last parting gift for me as he left me standing there, bent over and on display, still covered in his come like the trash he thought I was.
“Fuck you.”
As I peeled myself up off the desk and gathered the shattered pieces of my pride from the floor, I came to a hard-won conclusion. Ace and I were never going to work. Not as captor and captive, not as friend or foe. We were oil and vinegar, and that was the only absolute in this situation.
I thought I was fucked up, but he’d just proven he was the most fucked up of all. He couldn’t care about anyone. Trouble had warned me, and I didn’t want to believe it. This was the smack in the face I needed.
Cleaning away the evidence of his hatred, I put myself back together as best I could, too weary to face him again in this state. It wouldn’t be long until lunchtime. Maybe I could sneak out while he was in the bathroom cleaning up.
Until then, I sat back down and stared blankly at the remaining stack of papers. There were still far too many, and I didn’t feel like organizing anymore, but the alternative was being left alone with my thoughts, which wasn’t any better. So I continued to sort, at least for a few minutes, until I reached the middle of the stack and came to a dead halt.
There, buried in the middle of all the boring bills and records, was a ragged old cutout from a newspaper. It was folded into thirds, and I opened it delicately, careful not to tear the paper.
Inside was the face of a young girl with long, brown hair and pretty dark chocolate eyes. It was an obituary. But the name was the first thing to catch my attention as Kodiak’s words echoed through my mind.
Have you tried Mary-Kate’s Last Dance?
It was no coincidence that this girl’s name was Mary-Kate Welles. According to the obituary, she was only fourteen when she died. My chest constricted as I stared into her eyes, wondering what happened to her. The expression on her face was not that of a happy young girl. It was one of torment and sadness, and I felt that kinship with her deep in my soul.
Did Ace know this was in here? Who was she to him? My mind filled with questions, but there were no answers. I knew because I read the obituary three times over. No details were provided for her death. The small block of text simply existed to alert the world she had lived and died. The caption didn’t wax poetic about her hobbies, or her favorite foods, or how pure her soul was. It was absent of sentimentality, which left me to conclude that nobody had cared enough to include those things.
I didn’t even know her, but my eyes stung with emotion. How easily could that have been me if I had stayed in California? If I had allowed things to continue as they were, would this last evidence of my life be interchangeable with hers? Just a short blurb that I had at some point existed, but now I didn’t. No details save for a grainy pic that nobody would remember or care about.
I became irrationally hungry for more information about this girl, but Huck had taken my phone, and the only internet access I had was in this office. Was it possible that he’d left the computer unlocked?
I glanced at the door and stirred the screen to life with the mouse, noting two options. The master account was for Ace, but a second guest option didn’t require a password.
With jittery fingers, I typed her name into the Google search bar, and within seconds, pages upon pages of information popped up. It surprised me, and then it terrified me. My eyes grew unfocused as I read through the titles of the articles, one after another.
Fourteen-year-old Little Rock foster child murdered at the hands of a monster.
Arkansas teen confesses to sexual assault and murder of a fourteen-year-old girl.
Huck Fallon sentenced to life behind bars for grisly crimes at just fifteen years old.
My stomach churned as I read the name again and recoiled from the desk, desperately reaching for the garbage can before I spewed the contents of my breakfast inside. My skin felt clammy, and I couldn’t breathe as the room darkened around me to a mere pinpoint. This was my sign. I had to get away. I had to get away as fast and as far as I could.
I leaned back and closed my eyes, catching my breath for a few seconds before I opened them again with a renewed sense of determination. A glance at the clock confirmed it was almost noon, and I couldn’t sit here with Ace pretending like everything was okay. Not after this. I had to make my move now.
Zipping up my jacket, I moved toward the door, peeking down the hallway in an attempt to see something. But I couldn’t. Not from this angle. I would have to go in blind.
Holding my breath, I snuck out into the hall, careful of each step that I took. The shop was loud with music blaring, wrenches turning, and the sound of a compressor somewhere in the distance. But it still felt like every step might give me away.
I made it to the end of the hall and spotted Ace working on the same truck from the day before. His back was turned to me, and for a second, I just stood there frozen. Watching him work was like watching an artist. Someone who could look at the tangled mess of broken parts and pieces and find a way to put them back together to make them whole again. So how could he possibly be the monster those articles said he was?
As if he could sense me, he started to turn, and I dived behind the nearest truck, hoping he didn’t see me. I watched his feet from beneath the bumper, waiting for him to move. But he didn’t. My breath evened out as I took stock of the situation around me. Several other trucks were parked in the shop. If I could sneak beneath them one by one, I might be able to get closer to the exit.
Army crawling around the greasy shop floor wasn’t as easy as I anticipated. Though my knees were mostly healed, there was still some bruising beneath the skin that made it sting every time I put pressure on them. But I kept going. Slipping from one truck to the next, holding my breath, and checking the location of Ace’s boots across the building. I wasn’t entirely sure how I would get to the exit once I made it, but I’d have to cross that bridge when I came to it.
Just as I was getting ready to bolt to the last truck, the rumble of an engine scared the ever-loving bejeezus out of me. I wasn’t expecting it, and when I glanced up, I realized it was coming from the truck I was currently parked beneath.
Crap.
My heart pounded as I scurried backward, glancing around frantically. There wasn’t anyone around, but I still doubted my ability to make it the next fifteen feet out in the open. So I went up and over instead, climbing carefully into the back of the truck and ducking down, hoping the driver hadn’t noticed. It was a utility work vehicle, so there was a lot of equipment in the back, and only a small space for me to wedge my body into. I curled into myself, becoming as small as possible as I waited with frantic breaths.
I was dead certain I’d be discovered as the truck began to roll forward, only to pause again when the drive
r rolled down his window and started up a conversation with one of Ace’s guys. I snuck a peek at the clock on the wall, noting only about five minutes were left until Ace took his lunch. At this rate, I wouldn’t even be out of the garage.
My irritation grew as the conversation continued. I had to get out of here. Just as I began to reconsider my plan, the conversation came to an abrupt end when the guy on the floor received an incoming call, and the truck lurched forward again. I settled in and tried to relax, finally breathing when we rolled outside, and I felt the sunlight on my face. But I knew I wasn’t home free yet. Part of me was still waiting for Ace to yell at the driver to stop before he came and dragged me out of the back, but it never happened.
We turned onto the street, and the driver cranked up his music, leaving the window down so that I could hear his awful singing. I counted the stoplights and looked up at the skyline for familiar buildings, but it looked like he was taking me farther and farther into a residential area. That wasn’t going to work.
At the next stoplight, I peeked up to check on the driver. He was distracted by his one-man concert, so I figured it was now or never. I climbed to the back of the truck and hoisted myself down onto the ground, pausing only for a second as the people in the car behind us looked at me as if they’d just seen a ghost.
I gave them a little smile and wave as though everything was cool and walked casually onto the sidewalk. The light turned green, and the driver took off none the wiser. I looked around, trying to figure out where the hell I was. There was a strip mall up the street, and I figured it would be a good place to grab a cab.
Twenty minutes later, I found myself at the entrance of my apartment. I just needed to grab some clothes, whatever items Ace might have left behind, to get me through until I could figure out where I’d be staying for tonight. But as soon as I turned the corner, I noticed my parking space had another car parked inside it. Another glance up at the door confirmed there was a new patio set on the balcony that hadn’t been there when I left. And that was when it dawned on me that none of my belongings would be inside.
The place had been rented out.
“NOT HUNGRY TODAY, BOSS?”
“Huh?” I peeked out from my toolbox and found Smokey staring at me in concern. When I glanced at the clock, I figured there must be something wrong with it, but there wasn’t. I was off my game, and it was obvious to most of my guys in here today. They’d all seen the show when Blake blew out of here with his tail tucked between his legs, and then I came out ready to light a fire up anyone’s ass who got in my way.
Goddamned Birdie.
She was on my mind, screwing up everything, and now I was forty minutes late for lunch. That shit was totally out of character for me, and everyone here knew it.
“I just wanted to finish what I was doing,” I muttered. “But I suppose I should take a break.”
“I’ll hold down the fort.” Smokey nodded.
I wiped my hands and stuffed the grease rag into my back pocket. Truthfully, I didn’t think I was ready to face Birdie. Not after the way I’d treated her. I’d never been so goddamned mad in my life, and that terrified me. I wasn’t accustomed to losing my cool, but she had a talent for bringing out the darkness in me. All for some bullshit game I should have seen from a mile away. She’d provoked me, and I walked right into it—hook, line, and sinker.
This was exactly why I told myself from the beginning I couldn’t let myself get wrapped up in her. I’d crossed over the territory of obsession into full-on possession, but after today, she’d probably never want to look at me again. And I wouldn’t blame her. But it didn’t mean I was letting her go either. I was in this now, balls deep until the end. There was no going back to the way things were. Not after the way she made me feel today.
I wanted to hate her for playing me so easily. For getting inside my mind and fucking with all the emotions I never wanted to feel in the first place. She made me feel, and it wasn’t something I was used to.
Birdie Blue was my fucking nightmare and salvation wrapped up into one terrifying package. She’d left her mark on me, branding it into my rusted-up, broken-down heart. I didn’t know why I was still fighting it. Good or bad, right or wrong, she was the other half of my soul that I’d always known was missing. And consequences be damned, I was keeping her.
I headed for the bathroom to wash up, giving myself ample time to figure out how to approach this situation. Handling Birdie with kid gloves was out of the question now. She’d seen the worst of me, and I owed her some kind of explanation. But how could I explain my feelings when I didn’t even understand them myself?
The shade on the office door was still shut, and my palm lingered on the knob for far too long. I didn’t know what I would find inside. What version of her would I see? I was afraid to bear witness to the damage I’d done. Gypsy warned me that Birdie would retreat and shut down. But when I opened the door, it was worse than that.
There was nothing. An empty chair, a stack of papers, and only the faintest lingering of her scent.
She was gone.
My gaze trailed down the length of Las Vegas Boulevard while I calculated the number of casinos I had yet to cover. Over the past six hours, I’d been to her old apartment, Trouble’s studio, and at least ten casinos and clubs I knew she liked to frequent. In addition to that, I also had some of my guys scouring the smaller joints, and Trouble was on her scent like a bloodhound too.
But still nothing.
I’d called Lucian, explaining the situation, and he’d agreed to give me some time to find her before he alerted Gypsy. The last thing she needed was to add her sister to her long list of concerns. But with every hour that dragged on, my confidence that I’d even find her dwindled.
I’d fucked up. I’d fucked up beyond comprehension. And for a split second, as I sat there on my bike, I wondered if this was the best thing for her. At least when she was out there, away from me, I couldn’t hurt her. But that was just a fantasy. I couldn’t let her go. The crushing sensation I felt in her absence brought everything into focus with a certainty I’d never felt before.
I had to find her and bring her back to me. It was the only fucking way.
Kodiak sent a text to let me know he’d checked all the places on his list, and she wasn’t at any of them. Paralyzing uncertainty and one lingering question were all that remained.
Where the fuck could she be?
I MADE MYSELF AT HOME in the hospital corridor, staring at the screen of the burner phone I’d picked up this afternoon. Every several minutes, I would check it again, waiting for it to ring, but it never did. Six times I’d called Joe today. He always got back to me within an hour at the most. Always. But not this time.
I knew he hadn’t changed his number because it went to the same annoying voicemail I always heard. When my efforts to reach him didn’t work, I panicked a little and started checking the jail rosters in California to see if by some chance he’d been arrested. Although I’d love to see his greasy ass behind bars, the reality wasn’t that simple.
Gypsy and I had learned a long time ago that Ricky and his sleazebag friends had friends on the inside. Politicians, corrupt cops, even a couple of judges… they were all in on it, frequently visiting the block of horrors that I grew up on to partake in their underage delights. On the few occasions there had been raids, Ricky was tipped off by his high-ranking friends, and all the girls would disappear until things calmed down again. Turning in Ricky or Joe or anyone else wasn’t an option when you couldn’t trust authority. The two girls who tried had disappeared, and I never saw them again. Years later, California changed the laws to protect victims of human trafficking instead of punishing them as they’d done to Gypsy. But I still couldn’t trust that the corruption wasn’t alive and well. Sex would always be a thriving trade. And if Joe ever ended up in a position to barter for a deal, my name would be at the top of his list to throw under the bus.
Regardless, my searches for him turned up nothing, which l
eft me feeling even more out of sorts than I already was. Surely, he wasn’t still pissed about our last encounter. Joe was motivated by one thing, and that was money. In the third voicemail I’d left, I told him I was prepared to pay one last large sum of cash for the videotape. More than ever, I wanted a life free from the dark cloud perpetually hanging above my head. But unless I got my hands on that video, I might as well kiss everything I knew goodbye.
Chasing down Joe kept my mind occupied, but it didn’t last for long. Inevitably, it would drift back to Ace and the things I’d discovered this afternoon. I didn’t think I could handle the details of his crimes, but the longer I kicked the scenario around in my mind, the more I realized it just felt wrong. Ace could be moody and downright hostile when he felt like it, but he would never truly hurt me. I knew that in my heart as much as I knew I needed air to breathe. He was emotionally crippled. I’d heard it and even witnessed it myself. He didn’t deal with things in the best way, but he dealt with them the way he knew. And I understood that on a primal level.
He wasn’t in prison now, so that had to mean something. His best friend was a criminal attorney, and they had a history together. There had to be more to that story. Huck might be fucked up, but I was well enough acquainted with evil to know when I was looking it in the eye. And he wasn’t evil.
“Birdie? What are you doing here?”
I looked up to find Kylie standing there in her scrubs with an expression of concern on her face. She looked worried about me, and I felt guilty for coming here, but with nobody else on my side, I was out of options.
“Hey.” I shifted on the uncomfortable bench, hoping this wasn’t the dumbest idea I’d ever had. “I’m here to see you actually.”
“Me?” She blinked. “Why?”
“Well, that depends.” I offered her a nervous smile. “Can I trust you?”