by Keri Lake
He lingers at my belly for a moment, before he prowls back up my body, and the growl in his chest is in play.
“Six ...” I try to hide my smile, but a giggle breaks free, as he snarls and attacks my throat, rubbing his stubbled cheek over my sensitive skin there. “Six!” The tickle is more than I can stand, springing tears to my eyes as I push at his chest, in a poor effort to end his torment. Laughter echoes through the small cave, and I let out an unintended scream that he caps with his palm.
Sliding his hand away, he smiles back at me, his eyes less heavy than before. “I love you, Little Bird.”
“I love you more.”
His eyes turn serious again, flickering with sadness. “You can’t. I’m not the one carrying our baby.”
“Hey.” I rub my thumb over the creases in his brow, the lines of worry etched in his face. “What’s troubling you?”
“I can’t lose you, Wren. If something ever happened to you, or the baby, I’d have no reason left in this world.”
“You’re not going to lose me. And I’m not losing you, either.”
“Promise me, that if anything is wrong, if something doesn’t feel right, you’ll tell me. You won’t keep it inside of you.”
I sensed his concern from earlier by the fire hadn’t subsided. Much as I try to lessen his worry, the fact is, Six knows me better than anyone. “I’m fine. I helped Papa take care of a number of pregnant women in Szolen. They all complained of aches and pains.” The only difference is, they were a bit farther along in their pregnancies than I am, but I’m certain, convinced, this is just my body trying to accommodate the baby who will soon stretch my belly.
With a nod, he lies down beside me, on his back, and nudges me to get on top. I’ve learned this is his favorite position during sex--the one where he can watch all of me. While it’s probably the most uncomfortable in terms of my own self conscious thoughts, I do love the way he stares at me. The way he admires my body as if he’s admiring the most beautiful desert sunset.
Sliding off my shirt, I climb overtop of him, my breasts and belly on full display as I seat myself on his muscled stomach.
Resting my palms on his chest, I circle my hips, watching his eyelids turn heavy while his stomach flexes beneath me. Six loves when I drag my wetness over him, as though I’m marking him with my arousal.
Hands against my thighs, he groans and and squeezes my flesh, while I grind myself against him, spreading the fluids he’s already stoked. “You are my heaven and hell, woman.” His deep and husky voice is a sound I’ll never become immune to, one that will always stir my excitement the way it does now.
He lifts his head, mouth gaping, as he watches the circles I’ve painted on his skin, and something wild burns inside of me, as his jaw clenches and tics, the way it does when I know he’s so painfully aroused he can’t stand one more minute of denying himself. He watches intently, tonguing the corner of his lip and I feel his stomach muscles contract with his restraint. “Fuck, Wren. You’ve got me so worked up.” His brow flickers with the last remaining shreds of resistance, as he digs his fingers into my thighs.
I reach behind, taking his rock hard shaft in hand, and drag his tip up and down my seam, taunting him.
He slams his head against the ground, the veins in his neck popping while his chest muscles bunch from the tension. If I didn’t know he enjoyed this torment so much, I’d stop now and give him the relief his body is silently begging for, but I won’t. Instead, I keep on with the torment, rolling my hips to the motions of sex, as I drag the head of his cock over my entrance and up toward my swollen clit. The longer he denies himself, the more dangerous he becomes, but the high of walking that razor-thin edge is damn near sex itself. I pry his hand from my thigh, and place it to my breast, watching his eyes dilate, as he lifts his head to suckle it.
And now my torment begins.
This is how Six and I have ruined one another, because even the man’s tongue against my nipple is enough to make me climax. Lining his tip just notched inside my entrance, I tilt my head back, rocking enough to keep him from fully penetrating me, as he works me to orgasm with his tongue. The moment his fingers join in, and he rolls my sensitive bud between them, I’m one fine thread from snapping. I scoot my body down his shaft, impaling myself on his erection, and a sharp pain hits my nipple where his teeth pinch my flesh, adding an electric zap to the pleasure.
A tortured cry slips past my teeth, and I dig my nails into his chest, as I roll my hips, taking in the long, slow glide of his cock, filling and stretching me with each rise and fall. The sound of my moans echo in the cave, punctuated by the occasional growl that I feel rumbling beneath my palms. Still sucking me, he grips both of my thighs and guides my pace, growing impatient with my lazy strokes. I take the cue, and he lies back, eyes riveted on my bouncing breasts, as I get myself off on his cock.
My belly tightens, the cramping from before dulled by the pleasure pulsing through my body, as my blood runs hot and thick with the potential to explode into flames any minute.
His teeth clench again, brows tight with his restraint, and his muscles harden beneath me, his whole body wired with tension.
This is the part I love. Watching him, on the cusp of climax, the intensity drawn across his face and body, the focus, so complete, as if nothing else matters but the two of us.
My moans heighten, the knots in my belly twisting with the climb, as I edge closer and closer to climax. I know he feels it, as he stares up at me, his eyes fixed, watching, waiting for the moment he can release.
Tighter and tighter.
Higher and higher.
Until at last, the heat rushes to my core, sending an explosion up into my brain on a flash of light. Six curses, and the warmth fills me inside, as he bangs out the final jets of his climax. Tingles bathe my muscles, turning them momentarily numb, and I instantly sag with relief, as I collapse against him. Strong arms wrap around my sweat-slicked back, fingers tangling in my hair, as he tugs just enough to lift my head and kiss me. Without pulling out of me, he rolls us to the side, and I twist in his embrace, facing the warm fire that offers no relief from the heat still pulsing through me.
Through heaving breaths, we lie there, bodies still trembling in the aftershock. I watch the flame flicker and cast shadows on the cave walls.
Six nuzzles his face in my neck, his arm crossed over my body, protective and possessive, while he kisses the numbers inked on my nape.
As the waves of contentment settle over me, the flickering shadows on the wall mimic the growing ache inside my belly. The burgeoning heat, marked by a dull, crampy sensation that tells me something is wrong.
Chapter 5
Cali
After confirming that Tessa’s father is still alive, and able to consume sips of water, we pack up the truck, leave Tessa with a pack of bullets, and head toward Ceniza. My hands fidget uncontrollably in my lap, as I sit between Cadmus and Titus, with Brandon riding in the back, as usual. It’s possible that I’m no closer to Valdys than I was weeks ago, but I cling to this small bit of hope, regardless.
“We have enough gas to make it there, right?” I lean into Titus, checking out the fuel gauge that sits at about a half tank.
“As I told you this morning, we have plenty,” Titus says, his attention on the road. “There are two more cans in the back. Relax, Cali.”
Thankfully, the last hive we raided kept a supply of corn fuel they produced themselves, and we were sure to stock up on it before we left. I can’t relax, as he’s suggested, though. I won’t rest, or relax, until I open those damn doors and find out what happened to Valdys. One could say I’ve been obsessed, maybe even reckless in my pursuit, but I don’t care. Every day that passes is one day closer to forgetting about him, and I can’t bring myself to imagine that.
I won’t.
Rough roads, worn down by time and neglect, jostle the truck, while the desert landscape passes in a blur. Over the next hour, I focus on the upcoming encounter with the rebels
themselves, instead of Valdys—yet another topic that leaves me antsy and nauseated with anticipation.
The town of Ceniza is relatively new, established after the Dredge had already decimated most of the cities in California. From what little I heard about it, a hive of about eight families lived there. One night, a horde moved through, killing off and consuming many of them, as they slept. Those who remained gathered inside one of the abandoned churches, which was soon surrounded by Ragers, too. Far too many for them to fight off. So they set the building aflame and burned alive inside. It’s said the smoke rising up to the sky was seen for days after, and alerted other nearby hives, who were able to avoid the horde.
Titus turns off the main highway, onto a road that will take us to the ocean, if we keep going that way. Only a couple miles along, I see a small town off in the distance. A few abandoned buildings dot the otherwise barren landscape, and I scan the surroundings for any sign of a camp.
Titus slows the truck, and it’s then I remember, these people have wreaked havoc on Legion soldiers. Slaughtered and killed without remorse. Even if we might be on the same side, they’re not known to be peaceful.
“Are you sure you have the right place?” I sit forward, noting the absence of tents and human life.
“I’m positive.” Titus points forward, and I follow the path of his finger toward the burnt remains of a building up ahead, where I assume the families burned themselves alive in what must’ve been the church.
Panic simmers low inside my chest, a feeling of dread settling deep within my gut, as he brings the truck to a stop in what I imagine was once the middle of a downtown, marked by dilapidated buildings at either side of a sand-covered road. The knot inside my chest pulses and expands, crushing my lungs, as we climb out of the vehicle, taking in the silence of our surroundings and the untrodden sand swept over by fresh wavy layers.
There is no camp here. From the looks of it, there never was.
I breathe in the dry, arid breeze that blows through my hair and force myself not to break. I won’t break, but I feel my heart crumbling inside my ribs, being carried away by the wind that sits thick and heavy in my lungs.
It’s as Cadmus said before. I’m chasing ghosts.
Cadmus and Titus head off in separate directions, perhaps to confirm each of the abandoned buildings are empty, but I stand smack in the center of the road, eyes closed, as I will myself to hold as many of the pieces together as I can.
Do. Not. Break.
Perhaps only seconds pass in what seems like hours before both Alphas return to me, the expressions on their faces holding grim darkness and sorrow that I know matches my own.
“There’s nothing, Cali.” Cadmus doesn’t even look at me as he says the words, as if he can’t bear to watch their effect on me.
His form blurs with the tears in my eyes, and the world around me spins in my periphery, moves far too fast for me to hang on. I close my eyes, the grit of the sand hitting my knees as I fall to the ground. The fringes close in on me.
Maybe Tessa lied. Maybe she didn’t know what she was talking about. Perhaps this is my fault for following the words of a child who wasn’t entirely right in her mind. It doesn’t matter now.
Nothing matters.
I feel as if I’ve fallen into a hole with no bottom, and no way to climb to the surface. Sinking farther and farther down, watching the light above me shrink to a pinprick.
Voices reach my ears through the void, and I open my eyes to the surrounding darkness, take in the smell of gasoline as I stare up at the silver box that tells me I’m in the back of the truck. As the voices sharpen into clarity, I sit up on my bed of sleeping bags to listen.
“I blame you for this.” The venom in Cadmus’s voice is unmistakably potent, as if he’s been arguing for hours. “Your fucking fault she’s chasing after something that isn’t real. Feeding her your bullshit hopes. Valdys is dead. And if he isn’t, you know damn well he might as well be.”
“And it’s your job to be the voice of reason—that it, Cadmus?” Titus volleys back. “As if you give a damn about her mental wellbeing. You stroke your fucking cock every time shit doesn’t pan out.”
“If I didn’t care about her, I’d let you go on filling her head. How many times do you need to see her rise and fall before she’s had enough? Or is that how you get off?”
The thumping sound that follows is one of a fist against flesh, confirmed by the chasing grunts and groans. I crawl toward the back of the truck and hop out to find Cadmus and Titus rollicking in the dirt, as each takes his turn hammering punches into the other. Off to the side, Brandon stands shaking his head, and he crosses his arms over his chest, watching the two. He once tried to break up their fighting, and took a hit to the ribs that I’m certain resulted in a broken bone. There isn’t a chance he’d try again.
“Enough! Stop this fighting! Both of you!”
Fist drawn back for another hit, Titus halts, his chest heaving, jaw tense and grinding. Instead of following through, he pushes off Cadmus and jumps to his feet, wiping the back of his hand across his bloodied lips.
Cadmus sits up, drawing one knee up, on which he rests his elbow and daubs the blood at the corner of his eye with his finger.
“You want to destroy her. That it? Be my fucking guest. You tell her.” Titus strides past me, without bothering to look my way
Cadmus snorts, and shakes his head. “Like I always say, somebody’s gotta be the bad guy.”
“Tell me what?” I ask, trailing after Titus’s steps. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to search beyond the hill.”
“I’m coming with you.”
He doesn’t even spare me a glance when he says, “You’ll stay with him,” but the annoyance in his voice is clear.
“I’ll search the buildings for some supplies,” I hear Brandon say behind me. “See if I can find some blankets. It’s getting cold sleeping in that cab every night.”
I swing my attention back toward Cadmus, catching Brandon walk off toward the strip of abandoned buildings beyond him. “Tell me what?”
It’s not unusual for Cadmus to look me straight in the eye when telling me things he knows might hurt me. At times, I’ve wondered if he enjoys watching how such news affects me, so the fact that he can’t even bring himself to meet my stare has my pulse racing with anxiety.
“Tell me what?”
He huffs, looking out over the desert, anywhere he can avoid my probing stare, I guess. “There was a time when the mutations were penned together. Men with even the most minor deformities, discarded as failed experiments. Ericsson began to notice something about them. Where the mutations would kill and consume other men, they were particularly sadistic toward the other Alphas. Ones that still appeared human.”
The picture he’s painting in my head of the poor men sent off to be penned in with the mutations leaves a throbbing ache in my chest.
“If you’ve ever watched some animals in the wild, the way they sometimes toy with a kill. Keeping it alive. Gaining some amusement out of it.”
“What are you saying, Cadmus? Just say it.”
“I’m saying that if there’s a chance that Valdys is alive, he is, or has been, hunted for two months inside that hospital. And if they’ve found him, he’s not going to be what he was.”
Tears swell in my eyes, as my mind conjures such images of him being tortured by those creatures in sadistic play.
“At some point, you need to let him go, Cali. We’ve scoured the desert. Searched nearly every hive that still stands, and we’re no closer to finding those rebels than we were when we started.” He pushes to his feet, and when he lurches toward me, I step back, away from him.
“You’ve never believed that he was alive. You never gave a shit about him!”
“I do.” Edging toward me again, he reaches out a hand, his pale green eyes drilling right through my defenses. “But two months is a long fucking time in that place. With God knows how many of those things
. And if you did manage to get inside, what makes you think Valdys would stand to see his woman torn apart by them?”
I know that he wouldn’t. I know that Cadmus is speaking some logic, but my heart refuses to relent. It refuses to give in to what my head is telling me. That’s the problem with the heart, it’s too independent for the mind, and hungry for pain.
“If it were me, I’d want you to forget about me.” His brows knit together, as if the thought of such a thing is more than he can stand. “Valdys is like a brother to me. I know he’d want the same.” As he steps toward me, I step back again, and the hot steel of the truck hits my spine where he’s backed me against it. “Your head is stuck in the same loop that mine’s been in for months. Tormenting yourself with nightmares. Seeing things that aren’t there. And don’t tell me you don’t hear his voice from time to time. Calling out to you. I watch you. I see what this is doing to you.” Caging me in with his arms at either side of me, he drags his hand down my temple, pushing back a strand of hair from my face. “Just as you pulled me out of that place inside my head, I’m pulling you out now.”
Tears slip down my cheeks, and he captures one beneath the pad of his thumb, smears it across my lips. “You taste that? It’s reality, Cali, and it’s fucking bitter. But you and I? We can lose ourselves. Escape and never come back.” The flicker of a smile dances across his face. “I’m telling you, it’s the best feeling in the world. Escaping it all.”
“That’s why you want to give up. To end this search. So you can drift off to your fairytale land and never come back.”
“Just give me what I need.” Crazed eyes shift slightly as he stares back at me, the desperation in them bleeding through. “I’m not going to beg.”
“Cadmus, you don’t--”
“Just give me what I fucking need!” Tension drawn tight in his neck pulses with anger, his muscles at either side of my head bunched as I turn my face from his.