by Keri Lake
At the sound of grunting and groaning, I turn to see Cadmus, convulsing in his sleep, as he sometimes does. For weeks, I’ve avoided comforting him, out of guilt, I suppose.
His body trembles as he lies curled into himself, and the sounds he makes in his sleep remind me of the days when I received my injections, just before my body would grant mercy and I’d pass out from the pain.
I scoot closer to him, flush against his massive back, and I wrap my arms around him. “It’s okay, Cadmus,” I whisper. “I’m right here.”
Resting my cheek against his broad back, I take in the leathery texture of his skin, where scars have healed into multiple deep gashes.
He snatches up my hand, pulling it against his chest, where I feel his heart pounding against his ribs, which shudder with his shaky breaths. It troubles me to see this man, this formidable beast of a human being, made so vulnerable by the memories locked inside his head. Things I wish I could erase for him, to end this suffering he endures every night. The same images that prod him to consume the drugs that somehow steal away the harsh lines of reality for him.
I don’t know what they did to him back at the hospital, but whatever it was must’ve been horrific to turn a powerful, if not cocky, man into the frightened boy that shivers in my arms.
Chapter 14
Wren
I’ve told myself a number of times in the last week, there’s no pain I wouldn’t suffer for this child, but as I lie exhausted and weak, breathing hard through my nose to keep from inciting another round of it, I wonder how much of that is true. How much more agony can I endure for a life I’m not entirely certain will thrive at the end of it?
It doesn’t take much pondering, at all, to come to the decision that I would do what I have to. Closing my eyes, I attempt to force myself asleep, a tough feat when I know Six and Kenny are whispering quietly outside the cave. If not for the crackle of fire, I might hear whether they’re discussing the demise of the newcomers, or what a foolish plan it would be to venture inside Calico again. Either way, I’m grateful for Kenny’s perspective that helps temper Six’s impulsive nature. I know it’s out of love that he’d consider something so dangerous, but there isn’t a chance in the world I’ll risk losing him, even if that makes me sound like a hypocrite.
The door slides aside, and Six’s impassive expression doubles my curiosity.
“Well? What was so important it couldn’t wait until morning?”
He slides into our bed of blankets behind me, drawing himself close enough that my back presses into his hard chest. “Nothing urgent. I asked him to look at a piece of equipment for me. Seems he requires some additional parts.”
“You’re going out on a run for them?”
“Tomorrow, yes. We may need to backtrack a bit, so it’s possible I could be gone a couple days.”
If not for Kenny, I’d wonder if he’s lying to me right now, as short and mysterious as his words are.
“What part does he need?”
There’s a moment of silence that follows, and Six clears his throat. “Cathode ray tube, or something.”
I blow out a breath and sigh. “What is it that’s so important about this equipment?”
“It can be another set of eyes when needed.”
With a snort, I turn to lie on my back, only a small ache lingering in my belly. “Why would we need that, when we have an Alpha such as yourself with a keen eye?”
He leans around and kisses me, a smile on his lips.
“I want to go with you. I need to get out of here. Out of this camp for a while.”
“Wren, it isn’t a good idea. Not when you’re having these pains. To be so far away from Hesaya.”
“How far?”
“Far enough to make me nervous about it.” He strokes his hand down my face before offering another kiss. “Get some sleep. You need to rest and be strong for our child.”
“Isn’t that the truth. This baby is not even the size of a fig and already kicking my ass. Surely, it must be a boy.”
“Not if she’s a girl who takes after her mother.” Massive arms wrap around me, drawing me even tighter to his chest. “I’ll be in trouble.”
I chuckle at that and kiss his bicep. “You’re going to be an amazing father. A sexy, handsome, wise and protective father.”
“Wise? Now, that’s a trait I wouldn’t have bestowed upon myself.”
“One I’ll happily retract, if you consider going back to that hospital.” I twist to look into his eyes, catching that twitch I noted earlier. “Promise me you won’t.”
“You’ve nothing to worry about. As Kenny said, it’s impenetrable. Even if I wanted to, the chances of getting inside are slim.”
“And I know you well enough to know you’ll try, anyway.”
He huffs in exasperation and takes hold of my jaw. “Sleep woman. And stop worrying.”
I wake to the sound of whispers outside of the cave, and twist to see Six isn’t lying beside me. Surrounding darkness tells me it’s not yet morning, or sunrise, anyway, but I throw back the blanket and climb out of bed to see what’s going on. The sun has only begun to crest over the mountains, still mostly hidden behind the horizon, and I’m greeted by a small crowd, made up of Six, Kenny, and the four newcomers to the group, along with Tinker, Ratchet, Tripp and Rigs.
Alarms blare inside my head, as all but Rigs and Tripp carry a pack of supplies and weapons.
“What’s going on?”
Six gives a nod, and the group disperses, setting my nerves flaring with tension. “I was going to tell you, but I wanted you to rest. I didn’t want to upset you.”
“You’re going to Calico, aren’t you?”
“Kenny believes there may be a way inside, after all. Rigs and Tripp are going to stay back. Watch the camp and keep an eye on you.”
“You … lied to me? Lied right to my face?” I can’t even look at him right now, the feelings of betrayal commandeering my emotions.
“As I said, I didn’t want to upset--”
“You promised me! You told me last night you wouldn’t do this! You lied!”
“I will end my life, if I lose you!” His voice thunders through the canyon, drawing the attention of others in the camp, who stop to look at us. Clenching his eyes, he snaps out of his moment of rage and paces. “You’re asking me for the impossible, Wren. To stand by and watch you give your life.”
“And now I’m supposed to do the same? All because some stranger predicts I won’t survive this?”
“You said it yourself. You saw the same thing happen at the hospital. And then Mara. The girl speaks the truth.”
“And has much to gain at your expense.”
His pacing comes to a halt, his gaze resolute. “I’m doing this for you and no one else.”
“And how does the great and powerful Kenny think he’ll get you inside?”
“An engineer from Szolen. He built the tunnels. Designed the whole damn hospital. The whole community.”
“Gregor McCann. He was a friend of Papa’s. Suffered from psoriasis and used to come to the clinic a couple times a month.” I’d forgotten what role the man played, the mastermind behind the community, seeing how he didn’t boast about it. “I lower my gaze from his and clear my throat of the tears trapped there. “I can’t sway you from this path?”
“No.”
“Then, let me come with you.”
“Absolutely not, Wren! Don’t be ridiculous!”
“I can get you inside Szolen. I not only know the guard at the gates, but I have friends there.”
“You’re not going down into those tunnels with us. You’re not in the condition to do so, and if you have one of your attacks down there, you put us all at risk.” His words sting on purpose. He’s desperately trying to deter me out of his own fears, evident in the look of remorse dancing across his face. “The group is too big, as it is.”
“I’ll stay with one of my friends. I won’t follow. I can get all of you inside the gates.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me. You’re asking me to trust you. Now trust me.”
Lips stretched as thin as his patience, he stares off, contemplative, before rubbing a hand down his face. “Fine. Get packed. We’re leaving at full sunrise.”
Chapter 15
Wren
An awkward silence hangs on the air, as I sit beside Cali in the truck’s cab, flanked by Six on my left, who drives familiar roads back toward Szolen, and Cadmus, on the other side of Cali.
My stomach twists on approaching the familiar outskirts of camp by the time dusk arrives. Sitting forward on the bench, I take notice of the empty tents, tattered and demolished, where they lie strewn about the land that was once thick with hopefuls trying to get inside Szolen.
“Pull over,” I command, and Six steers the truck off the main road about two miles out from the gates of the community. Scanning the surroundings shows no sign of life, and I urge Six out of the driver’s seat, curious to see if anything remains of the family I once knew out here. The young girl I bargained with marauders to save.
Treading over the soft surface brings me standing before nothing but a tattered stretch of fabric, covered in sand, fluttering in what little breeze there is. The post holding it tethered is broken in half, and the small articles gathered beneath it are personal items left behind.
I kneel down to lift a doll coated in dirt and flecks of red. Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of how they might’ve met their death--whether by marauders, Legion, or Ragers. I only pray the girl was spared, somehow. A quick and merciful death.
Sensing someone standing behind me, I turn to find Six scanning the surroundings. “We should leave the truck here. Cali and I can gain entry through the front gate. You take the others and meet me at the wall.”
“Where we first met.”
“Yes. That one. I’ll bring rope, and you can climb the wall, just as you did once before.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t plow it all down after I escaped.”
“They had no reason. They all believed you were dead at first.”
“And how do I know the guards won’t shoot the two of you?”
“You don’t.” I don’t bother to look up at him, the irritation of this morning still gnawing at me. “Just as I don’t know the outcome of you venturing back inside Calico. I suppose we just have to trust.”
I know he doesn’t like the idea, at all. But neither do I. Stepping toward me, he grabs my arms, and the earnest look in his eyes reminds me of when he was a boy, when all he could do was communicate with those crystal blues. The worry swirling in them takes me back to the morning Papa asked me to deliver the poultice. The same day Legion came after him, but the morning began with his silent concern over my wellbeing. He wouldn’t dare tell me that he’s doing this for me, because he knows damn well I’d tell him not to. That I don’t need him to risk his life for me.
Instead, he lowers his gaze, drawing me into his body. “Please be safe.”
“I will.”
Arms wrapped tight around me, he kisses the top of my head. “You’re my whole life, Wren. My reason.”
At the visual of mutations biting into his flesh, I close my eyes over tears. “And you’re mine.”
The girl isn’t much of a talker. This much I’ve gleaned of Cali in the two-mile walk toward the gate, during which she hasn’t spoken a word. Maybe she thinks doing so will set me off and end her chances of getting inside Calico. After all, I’ve made it pretty clear I’m against this asinine plan.
Ahead of us, the gates of Szolen stand guarded, as usual, and as we approach, the spotlight finds the two of us, blinding our eyes to anything outside of its halo.
“Stop right there.” The voice is one I recognize, and I can just make out his silhouette, perched above the top of the gate beside the swiveling light, where he holds a gun on us.
“Hi, Arty.”
“Stay back, Wren. I’m to shoot on sight.”
“Then, why haven’t you?”
“What do you want?”
I squint my eyes, trying to see how many guard the fence this late. All I can make out is one other body watching us from the other end of the gate. “Am I an enemy now?”
“You’ve been roaming the desert too long. You know the rules.”
“I was captured by rebels and held prisoner.” I turn to Cali beside me. “Both of us escaped. I just want to come home.”
The silhouette of him lowers his gun, but I’m not so quick to think he’s welcoming me back with open arms. “You’ll be checked. Thoroughly. We find one bite, and you’ll be put down.”
“I haven’t forgotten the rules, Arty.”
In an act of mercy, he flicks off the spotlight, and I see him gesture to the other man across from him. A minute later, the gates click and grind into motion, and the breath I’ve held escapes me on a shudder.
“I thought he would shoot us for certain,” Cali says beside me, as we stride toward the slowly opening entrance.
“Nah. I’ve known Arty since I was a teenager. I don’t think he’s ever actually used that gun on anyone in his life.”
“They’re not concerned?” Voice lowered to a whisper, she leans in. “That you were held by rebels?”
“Of course they are. It’s the only reason he opened the gate.” We step through the barrier, greeted by Legion soldiers and a few of the guards. The sight of them seems to put Cali on edge, as I hear her gasp beside me. “Do everything they tell you. Do not fight them, understand?”
“Yes, but … Legion was sent to hunt us down after we escaped. What if they recognize me?”
“Then pray they don’t.”
As expected, we’re approached with rough hands that drag us off to the side and perform a check for weapons. Hand resting on his gun, Artie stands casually off to the side, head tipped as he watches the search. The added lines etched in his face and dark circles beneath his eyes tell of sleepless nights and stress.
“How’d you manage to escape the rebels?”
“During transport. They were holding us in Ceniza for a while.” The guard patting me down crouches lower, running his hands up each leg, and the urge to kick him tugs fiercely, but I don’t. “We were to move again, but ...” I glance over at Cali, who stands with her arms outstretched as the officer pats her down. “My friend and I escaped. Jumped the truck and hid in the brush.”
“And where exactly were they headed.”
“North,” I lie.
“Where north?”
“Why would rebels tell their enemy where we were headed, Arty?”
The pat down ends and the Legion soldier grabs some handheld device that’s clipped to his side, keeping a small gap between it and my skin as he runs it over my body.
“What’s this?”
“New technology for detecting Rager bites. It finds clusters of the antibody that sets off an alarm,” Arty taps a fresh cigarette against his palm, before shoving it into his mouth. “Should see some of the shit we’ve got now. It’s all happening faster now that they’ve finished the tech building.”
Shaking my head, I allow the Legion officer to complete his search, and seemingly satisfied, he steps away from me.
“She’s clear,” he says.
“This one, too.” The second Legion officer gives Cali a small push toward me, causing her to stumble when she reaches me.
“How long you staying this time, kid?” Blowing a plume of smoke off, Arty hands me the cigarette, but I decline.
“For a while, I guess.” Telling him differently would result in suspicion I don’t need to rouse. “Life beyond the walls isn’t what it seems.”
He snorts and flicks his ash, taking another drag of his smoke. “I could’ve told you that.”
“What happened to the families camped outside the gates?”
Waving the Legion officers off, he gives a
furtive glance around. “What do you want, Wren? The truth? We couldn’t trust anyone after rebels attacked the hospital. Legion is a third of its size.”
“So you killed them all.”
“Mercifully. A single shot to the head.”
There is no mercy in this world, this much I’ve learned. “Children, too?”
“Some were brought in for adoption. Ones that had low levels of antibody.”
“Zahra?”
With a dismissive wave, he shakes his head. “Hell, I don’t know their names. Barely know they’re faces.”
Because he sees them as nothing but savages. Animals, and yet, not even an animal would be slaughtered as ruthlessly.
“She’s young with curly hair and green eyes. Had five brothers.” I wonder if they spared her brothers, at all, or murdered them alongside their parents.
“Might’ve seen her. They’re mostly adopted out, living with new families. Their lives are better, Wren. What their parents would’ve wanted.”
I’ve heard that lie before, too, when I once asked the fate of my baby brother. “Their parents wanted a chance to raise them here themselves.”
“I don’t give the orders, I just follow ‘em.” He tosses his cigarette to the ground, stamping it out beneath his boot, and leans forward to pick up the butt of it. “Legion will stand guard at your Pop’s old house. Don’t make me regret letting you back in.”
I suspected they wouldn’t allow me back in without some monitoring, which will make for a challenging escape, but certainly not impossible. “You won’t regret it.” Patting Artie on the back, I step past him and jerk my head for Cali to follow.
Once out of earshot, I breathe easy, and turn to see Cali scanning the surroundings, a look of awe lighting up her eyes, where the streetlights reflect in them.