As I watch my friends freely play and silently laugh, all the noises and voices start returning. All but one… Skyler’s.
My body snaps to a sitting position. I’m disoriented. Josh’s glowing fish tank lights up my face, settling me, just enough so I can get air into my terrified lungs.
Jolene, sleeping in the middle of Josh’s bed, sits up. “Serenity?”
Josh fumbles and knocks his cell from his nightstand, turning on his lamp. “What’s wrong?”
My heart feels as if it’s coming out of my chest. I try to swallow unbelievable fear. “Skyler’s voice. I can’t hear her.” I grab Jolene’s hand. “Please call her.”
Jolene wraps her arms around me. “Okay. Breathe. We’re calling. Josh, she’s shaking. Get your phone.”
Josh looks as though he’s about to be sick all over his cell as he taps away. On speaker, he paces next to my side of his bed. “Answer your phone, baby. Please answer your—”
“What’s up, Joshy Poo? Is Teddy Bear with you?”
Pale as a bleached sheet, he stops. “You okay?”
“To be determined according to my mom.” I hear her cash register slam shut and then hear her say, “Have a good night, y’all.” Then into her cell phone, “What up?”
His eyes close as he exhales a shaky breath. “I’m with Serenity and… she-she had a nightmare.”
“I see. Put her on the phone.”
“She can hear you.” He kneels on the floor. His hand is trembling as he hands me the cell phone then leans to the mattress with his elbows.
“Sky?” I cry.
“You okay, my sweet?”
“It was scary. You lost your voice.”
“This loud mouth? That would be a dream, not a nightmare. Ask Josh.”
I feel crazy! She sounds perfectly normal! Either way, Roc is like Dereck—a mist evaporator. “Will you call Roc?”
“Why?”
“I know he would love to meet you after work—”
“Serenity, that will be at two a.m.”
Josh lifts his head. “He’s a teenager, Sky. On a Saturday night? He’ll be up.”
“Then why are you freaks sleeping?”
“Skyler,” Josh growls.
“Okaaaay! Wise One crabby when sleep interrupted. I’ll call Tower.”
My cell reads: Get. Home!
I guess they’ve noticed I’m gone. My rebellious fingers refuse to type back.
Fine. Have it your way. I’m leaving.
Josh comes out of his bathroom in a towel. “What’s wrong?”
Flipping my phone over, I shake my head. “Nothing. Dereck is almost here.”
Josh has a Q-Tip working his inner ear as he stares at my cell. “Uh-huh.”
“Joshua,” snaps Jolene, sitting on his bed with his laptop.
His hands go in the air as he walks away. “I know. Behave myself.”
Dereck picks me up from Josh’s so we can spend the day together. We’re eating breakfast at Margie’s, and Dereck answers his phone. “Yo.” He chews while listening. “Uh, I don’t think so. Hold on.” Dereck asks me, “Have you heard from Sky?”
“Nope, she’s in Rocco world.” I take a bite of cantaloupe, smiling at the thought of her happiness.
“This is Roc, looking for her.”
I ignore Dereck’s face growing haggard with worry. “Well, what time did he drop her off last night? She might be tired.” I’m not worried. Roc can keep her safe.
While Dereck listens to his cell, stress lines form on his brow. “Roc doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”
My heart plummets—she never called him.
I grab my cell and call Sky immediately, putting her on speaker. She doesn’t even say hello.
“Hey, before you lecture me, I’m sorry I didn’t answer his call a minute ago. I think… I caught a cold… I’m so tired. Can you tell him?” She sounds exhausted.
“Oh, okay, well, I’ll come to you—”
“No. Don’t need you catching this.”
“I don’t catch colds easily. Let me come—”
“Just going to sleep, Serenity. No need to observe a normal activity.”
“Want us to bring you some soup?” Dereck offers.
“Thank you but not hungry… Just want some sleep.”
My brows pinch. “Rest, then. Hey, let me know if I need to bus it on Monday.”
“Uh, yeah, about that. Umm, my car broke down, so busing it, it is. Bye, guys.” She ends the call.
Dereck studies me. “What is it?”
“It’s just… when sick or tired, all she ever wants is… me.”
The bus ride is a lonely one. It’s Monday morning, and for the first time, I am without my Sky. In our seat that we haven’t used since she got her car, I jolt and bounce with our bus driver’s erratic driving and sudden stops. I stare out the window, ignoring the rude comments that shoot straight to my heart. I can do this. Just focus on everything outside this window to take you away from here. The bus tires screech at another stop, and squeaky doors open. I don’t look up at the shadow looming until I hear a familiar kind voice.
“What are you doing here?” Tye. My lab partner.
“Sky is sick.”
“Sucks for her but works in my favor.” He sits next to me and keeps me company all the way to school. I feel as though a prayer has been answered.
During a lonely lunch hour, I text to see if Sky will be here tomorrow.
She replies: Still sick.
Because Sky is safe at home, I try to ignore this gnawing gut feeling that she’s in a bad way. There’s nothing to fear. Besides, by the end of the day, the text I receive is much better.
I’m outside.
I run out the school doors and into the arms of Dereck as if I haven’t seen him in weeks. He laughs as he holds me off the ground. “I know I’m no Sky, but I’ll try to be a good substitute. Can I take you to dinner?”
Sky has answered my texts, repeatedly, asking me not to visit in fear that I will catch her cold. My mom is drinking, my dad is cheating, and I don’t want to be at my lonely home. “Dinner would be great.” I take refuge in Dereck’s light.
Luckily, Dereck takes pity and drops me off at school for the next couple of days. From the school sidewalk, I watch his truck pull away, and I dread facing another day without my girl. During lunch she texts that she is coming to school tomorrow. Thank you, Lord!
The next day at the bus stop, I try to hold Sky’s hand. She pulls away. A sting pellets my heart. “Are you still sick?”
Her light that usually echoes her true beauty is dimmer. “No, just in a funk.”
I keep asking, but she refuses to elaborate. And this is the way it continues. My Sky is—day by day, slowly but surely—pushing me away. She says I’m wrong, that I’m not giving her the space she needs, but I don’t know how. Since she’s been born, there’s never been space between us.
With my dad away, I don’t have Dereck come inside. Not wanting to deal with Father—in case his new interest doesn’t hold his attention for the whole night—Dereck and I sit on his tailgate. The moon shines down on us as I cry about Sky. “It’s painful to be separated from someone who is such a part of you.”
He holds me. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.”
“Dereck, what did I do?”
His head leans to mine. “I’m with you every day. I haven’t seen anything go down between you two. She won’t respond to Rocco, either.”
Pain. I feel physical pain without her. “Help me.” I look up at him. “Without her, I hurt.”
He grasps my face. “I hate to see you like this.”
“I miss her.”
He kisses me,
and the personal touch starts breaking its way through my agony. Each kiss removes an ounce of my suffering.
So, as Sky continues to pull away with no explanation, I search for peace. I end every day the same way, in Dereck’s arms. The fact we’re becoming absolutely consumed with each other is my saving grace.
Standing in the cafeteria line, I try again to hold Sky’s hand, but she pulls away. After two weeks of this, it still stings emotionally, but it doesn’t surprise me anymore. What is a surprise is the appearance of Bruno Fenicky, a little guy who’s so bigheaded that he practically blocks the sun. His group—his posse—heads for Sky and me, so I brace myself for the barbed words.
Bruno’s hand slips into Sky’s while he tells me in a sinister voice, “Why don’t you go get my girl some chocolate milk?”
What? “Your girl?” My voice trembles. “Sky?”
Skyler stares ahead, saying nothing. That’s when I see faint gray vapors floating around her head as if Bruno’s very existence is feeding them. There is an Italian guy who can heal her, and this little dweeb, Bruno, is not him.
“Skyler? Can you hear me?” I ask her body, its light diminishing.
Not even a glance from her. Oh my God…
For sixteen years, I have had Sky by my side. But on the day of the boat trip, she was captured by the same darkness that has taken my father from me. I don’t know what made her susceptible, as my dad’s drugs did him, but I do know—just know—Sky is gone. I feel as if I’ve been slammed into a war zone of anguish. Shaking, I kiss my best friend’s cheek and whisper, “I love you,” then painfully walk away from the angel that once was.
Sitting in a chair, staring at my drunk mom on the living room floor, I hold my cell phone to my ear while Dereck asks, “Why can’t I see you?”
Her unconscious body dares me to lie to him. “My mom needs me tonight.”
Father is on his way home.
Dereck’s alarmed breathing echoes over my cell. “My heart’s pounding, Serenity. What is it?”
“You want me to call you tonight?”
He speaks as if he has lockjaw. “That’s not what I asked.”
“I have to go, Dereck.”
“I’m sorry Sky has abandoned you, but I’m still here. Don’t. Shut. Me. Out.”
“Maybe I can borrow my mom’s car—I don’t want you to come here.”
“Why? I’ve already seen her at her worst.”
Silence.
“Haven’t I, Serenity?”
Overnight, as I fight one battle, another one brews. Because of Sky’s recent actions, word has gotten out that I’m wounded and easy prey. Without much sleep, I try to hold my ground when I hear horrible words at school. They feel like punches to the gut. The hallways are swallowing me whole. The cruelty is way beyond what has occurred in the past. With the mean ones more aggressive, I spend my lunch in the bathroom, crying.
To tell Dereck the truth would hurt him because there’s nothing he can do. Yes, he has temporarily managed to chase away the misty shadows from Father a couple of times, but my daddy never returns. He’s gone, like my Sky. I want to talk to Faith, but what if she thinks I’m crazy? Would she try to save her son? Convince Dereck to leave me? I would die…
It’s the end of the day, and I’m at my locker, grabbing a book for homework. Someone shoves me so hard into the row of metal that by the time I recover, the person is long gone. I lean my head in the locker to hide my tears. My cell vibrates in my backpack that I’m wearing in front of me. My cell’s been going off all day with cruel texts. Only one person who attends this school has my number. My tears get thicker, knowing Sky has personally thrown me to the wolves. I take that back. Wolves would probably never be so evil. Evil. That’s it. I feel as if these students are the gatekeepers of hell.
I timidly pull out my phone to check the text. It reads: I’m outside
I fist my backpack, slam my locker shut, then run. Run for fucking cover. He’s pacing in front of his truck when he sees me. I don’t stop running. His face falls, his eyes full of pity. “It’s okay. It’s okay, baby.”
I don’t stop running.
“Is it Sky?”
I don’t stop running.
His arms open, and his knees bend. “Come ’ere.” As soon as I’m close enough, I’m leaping through the air. Wrapped in safe arms is where I stay for the rest of the day.
Chapter Fourteen
The Kiss
Another month passes, and because of Dereck, I survive. Clinging to him is as natural as breathing, and he holds me with an unspoken instinct to protect. He breathes, I breathe. And as long as he has me near him for most of the day, he doesn’t push for answers.
We’re having dinner at a restaurant with the Wise Ones, and Josh digs at his plate with frustration. I receive an eagle eye. “I would ask where Skyler is, but seeing how I talk to her more than you now, there’s no need.”
He doesn’t understand. “She doesn’t talk to me anymore.”
Not listening to our conversation, Dereck happily orders dessert when the waiter checks in on us. “We’ll have…”
Josh points his lecture finger. “Listen—” Jolene places her hand on top of his. “I’m calm, just wondering what could be so strong as to break an unbreakable bond. That’s all.”
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I stare out the booth window. Unbreakable.
Dereck kisses my cheek. “I ordered you apple pie with vanilla ice cream.” One glance at him and I’m sucked right back into his world. I smile, with love pouring from my eyes. I hear only a trace of the Wise Ones’ conversation.
Jolene asks, “How’s Roc?”
That’s right. Dereck and I haven’t seen him in a while.
“Come ’ere…” I fade into Dereck-land again.
Josh says, “Look, she’s not even listening to me. Roc is holding his ground and waiting for Sky.”
Time has its limits when it comes to restraining me. School hours are all I’m willing to sacrifice; I devote the rest of my time to Dereck. I take my abuse at school then spend the rest of my day in heaven. Josh and Jolene’s upcoming graduation doesn’t upset me as I had expected. They’re about to leave my world for college, but I’m not feeling lonely.
In my driveway, I jump into Dereck’s truck and kiss him then turn to the backseat. “Hey, guys.”
Josh and Jolene look somber. “Hey, baby girl.”
I don’t want somber, only paradise, so like a giddy child, I ask Dereck, “Where are we going—” I stop when I notice my six-foot-two ray of sunshine is not shining. I hate when Josh stirs the pot! The Wise Ones are interfering.
“We’re going bowling,” Dereck answers.
“That sounds like fun.”
Dereck inhales. “With Skyler.”
I instantly feel hostile and betrayed. “Why?”
Jolene is stern. “Serenity, stop.”
I’m not a child and don’t wish to be treated like one. “No.”
“Excuse me?” Jolene warns.
I never want to disrespect Jolene, but having my heart ripped apart daily at school—something I normally don’t have to think about when I’m with Dereck—pushes me close to the edge. I blurt out, “Sorry, but you don’t understand what Sky has put me through.” I close my eyes, knowing I’ve said too much.
Questions start flying.
“What do you mean?”
“Has someone hurt you?”
“Who was it?”
I put my hands up. “It’s just been a little hairy, that’s all.”
Dereck growls, “What’s been hairy? Those girls I met at the party?”
After that party, Dereck and Josh hounded Sky and me for details. We, uh, downplayed it a bit. “Since I don’t have Sky, the… name calling has intensified.
”
“You told me those girls were harmless,” Dereck insists.
“Um, harmless may not have been… exactly the case.”
Josh snaps. “Serenity—”
Borderline rude, I interrupt, “Don’t worry. Sky’s under Bruno’s protection.”
Josh is sitting forward. “Serenity, who’s mean to you?”
The truth is as sad as my voice sounds. “Too many to count, Josh. Even the superintendent hates me. Permanent marker really sticks to lockers.”
Jolene gasps.
The pain crossing Dereck’s face is exactly why I didn’t tell him. “What’s written on your locker?” I look away. “Serenity, I’m a very resourceful young man. Either way, I will find out.”
Dereck has never pulled the “Hamilton” card before, and it’s making me feel as though I have to defend myself—like at school. “Fine! They write ‘Hamilton’s leftovers.’ ‘Hamilton’s trash’… it goes on and on, Dereck. Wanna hear more?”
Jolene whispers, “Oh my God.”
Shit. I regret saying anything. “Oh, Dereck. I’m sorry. This is not your fault.”
He’s gripping the steering wheel so tight I’m glad we’re still in my driveway. “Don’t apologize. I didn’t warn you about my name’s curse.”
Mama Hen says, “Dereck—” He quickly raises his hand, so she stops. Obviously, they’d talked about his name before. I can hear the sympathy in her tone.
Josh mumbles, “Those fuckin’ jealous bitches.”
“What is happening to Serenity can be stopped and will be.” Jolene appears to struggle to stay composed. “Trust me, baby girl. Should’ve told me sooner, but… we are still clueless about Sky. She is—”
“She is gone!” Why won’t they drop it?!
“What do you mean gone?” Josh asks, sounding angry.
“She left me… alone.”
Sitting forward in his seat, Josh yells, “Now does that sound like her? Ever? Pull your head outta your ass and listen! Something is really wrong with your best friend. She’s sinking!”
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