by Mary Hagen
“What’s worrying you?” Hannah asked. “You seem so preoccupied tonight.” She ached with her love for him. Has he decided to cast me aside?
He kissed her forehead, took her chin in his fingers, lifted her face, and kissed her mouth.
“You’re trying to read me in the dark?” He laughed a tight laugh with no humor.
His voice, usually so melodious, so thoughtful was harsh, and filled her with uncertainty. “Yes. I know you so well I know your moods. What is it?” Her voice trembled.
Would Penn discard her? Had he met a pretty, blonde German girl acceptable to his parents? Her heart plummeted to her stomach. With him, her nightmares were less pronounced, but how could their relationship survive the environment surrounding them? They resided in the world of broken glass.
“Nothing serious. Disappointment.” He stopped speaking and rested his face against her cheek. “It’s not right. We meet in secret at night. We can’t have dinners in public places or attend the opera or meet for coffee. I’m angry.” He kissed her. “We sit on a bench in the park on a cold night. I feel you shiver, and all I can do is hold you close to me.”
With a sigh, Hannah took his hand and placed it to her chest. “Could you feel my heartbeat the rhythm would tell you I love you. We’re together, and I don’t care meeting in secret. The cold is nothing. You keep me warm?” He tightened his arm around her. She did care. She hated the cold, sneaking around like the vermin she was accused of being, and lying to their parents. She swallowed a sob. “You haven’t told me everything.”
“I’ve been reassigned, taken from my flight squadron to teach students to fly. It’s a demotion for me. I love to fly my plane. In the air, I’m free. The country below me is peaceful, beautiful. I imagine us living in a paradise without turmoil and uncertainty.” He sighed.
“Oh, Penn, you must watch what you say. You’re brave to speak out against the Nazis, but what if you’re overheard? You could be sent to Dachau.” Fear clenched her chest in a tight vise. Her blood chilled and her heart ended in her throat almost choking her. He could be tortured because he loved a Jew. “Be careful. Watch what you say. The Security Service is everywhere. They have the power of life and death over all of us.”
A frightening thought stabbed her. “What if someone in your squadron knows you’re seeing a Jew and you were demoted because of me?” The cold breeze stirred the chestnut trees above their heads with an eerie whistle.
“No, I think not, but if they did it wouldn’t matter to them. They don’t like the policy against the Jews any more than I do and what happened last night in Munich and here is intolerable, disgraceful.” Penn stood and helped her stand. “My toes are like ice. We’ll go to my car. My heater is worthless as you know, but I have blankets.”
“You must promise me you’ll watch your words. I know you don’t tolerate the Nazis, but you must keep still about it.” Hannah wiggled her toes before walking with Penn. “Jacob left today,” she said.
Stopping, Penn faced her with a stunned expression and for a few seconds said nothing. “That’s unlike him, to run away from the problems facing us.” He nodded. “Wise on his part. I need not know the reason. Why didn’t you and your family go with him while you can? It’s folly for Jews to stay in Germany.”
“Papa won’t leave his patients and Mother won’t leave without him. I can’t leave you.”
“Hannah, my love, your father is foolish to continue to see patients and you must think of yourself. Go where you’re safe. You’ll be in my heart forever and someday Germany will rid herself of the Nazis and we can be together without fear.”
“I can’t.” She felt numb, her muscles rigid, but not from the cold.
“Then marry me so I can watch over you, keep you from harm. If anything should happen to you, I could not live.”
“Impossible. You’re not allowed to marry a Jew. We’d never be issued a marriage certificate. I’d put you in danger, and we could both be killed.”
Two Gestapo came toward them, and they stepped to one side.
“Good evening,” Penn said. “Heil Hitler.”
The Gestapo lifted their wooden batons in a return acknowledgement. “Heil Hitler.”
“You see, my love, I can play the game when needed even though those words turn my stomach.”
Tucking her arm under his, he said, “Before I drop you off, I’m driving to a small café I know is not friendly to the Nazis, and we’ll have something hot to drink.” He patted her hand. “You have one advantage that calls attention to you. You’re so beautiful everyone turns to look at you when you enter a room. Even Storm Troopers and the Gestapo stare at you.”
Hannah laughed, but it was flat and carried a touch of bitterness. “You flatter me so I’d remain with you just to hear your praise.” A blinding panic washed over her certain sooner or later she would lose Penn because of the Nazis and the policies they made. The thought of entering the café frightened her. What if I’m recognized as a Jew and Penn is with me?
“I think you should take me home. I’m uncomfortable entering a public establishment.”
Chapter 4
Penn followed the news as the Nazis continued to obtain new lands with public approval which enhanced their feelings of superiority. With tacit consent and promise from England and France, they would not fight over Austria, Hitler announced the uniting of the two countries, “A good engine alone is no good. It has to have a good chassis too, but the good chassis on its own won’t do either.” Hitler drove in triumph into Austria to the loud cheers of the citizens. Penn winced wondering how long it would take the Austrians to realize their mistake.
His thoughts were interrupted by Hubert. His student, his brother-in-law, annoyed him. Penn ground his teeth. Hubert had no feel for flying and ignored Penn’s suggestions. He is stiff, doesn’t pay attention to the hum of the motor, the sound of the propellers, the recordings of the instrument panel, the wind currents, the lay of the land. Penn was at a loss as to what to do. At the airfield, Hubert swaggered to the plane, climbed in, and adjusted his hat. Penn suggested he check the fuel, walk around the plane, examine tires, and props before getting in.
“The mechanic’s job,” Hubert retorted.
Although Penn had complete faith in his mechanic, Josh, and would be lost without his mechanical know-how, Penn countered to no avail, “A double check might save your life.”
Penn taught instrument flying to Hubert in a Heinkel 72, “Cadet,” silver biplane with two open cockpits, one in front of the other. Penn sat in front, Hubert in back. His brother-in-law was not a natural pilot. In the air, he did not hear the purr of the motor in sync with the propellers. True, the plane was ugly in functionality, but a beauty in looks. Hubert had learned the basics of flying, but now he needed to practice distance flying, navigation, aerobatics, and handling his plane in emergencies.
Penn yelled over the wind, “Hear that motor purr.”
Hubert nodded.
“It’s like music, constant, in rhythm with the propeller,” Penn said. “Hum with it, get the feel of music and plane.”
“I wouldn’t call it music,” Hubert shouted. “It’s a job. The engine, the wind, are annoying.”
“Look below us. Have you ever seen such beauty as our countryside?” He added, ignoring his comment. “Do you see a landing place if needed?”
“We have the perfect planes, built under the direction of our commander Goring. I don’t intend to need to land except at the airfield,” Hubert answered. “We are absolute in what we do.”
Penn wanted to add, “Except we have no freedom and Goring is a fool.” He called to Hubert to take control of the plane, fly it to the airfield, and land it.
Goring wanted new pilots as quickly as possible. He did not care how the training was done or to what degree. He wanted the men ready to take to the air.
Penn could not stand the man. He considered him an extreme egotist with no passion for his flyers only his own aggrandizement. Greedy and corrupt, he preferred good cigars, good food, fine art, and wealth. The fat pig could not climb into a cockpit if he wanted. His orders: “Get men in the air.” Why the rush, if he did not consider war an absolute?
The next day, Penn would initiate Hubert into aerobatics, using instruments in long-distance flying, and how to land in emergencies. The training was done under Lufthansa, the national airlines, against the terms of the Versailles Treaty. To Penn, it reinforced his belief Germany prepared for war, promises to the contrary. He shuddered at the thought. A frown cut into his forehead , but if war came, he would fight for Germany. His decision with his hatred of Hitler indirectly gave approval to Hitler. It was a dilemma he struggled with daily, never coming to terms with himself over the issue.
At the end of his sessions, Penn hated to land, to face his contradictions. He put the thoughts aside and concentrated on Hubert and whether he should approve him for further training in single or multi engine aircraft. Goring wanted the lessons completed in eight months. Hubert aimed for single-engine training, but Penn doubted he would make it. He never cared for Hubert, but he had to be unbiased in his comments
Twilight greeted them upon landing, the growing clouds to the west an artist’s pallet of amber, pinks, lavender, and dark shades of blue, and his favorite time of day. Penn exited the plane, stretched, and walked around the aircraft hoping Hubert would mimic him. Hubert hurried to the hanger, anxious to return home and to dinner with Lisa and their children.
“Lisa and I are attending a concert tonight. The Fuehrer is to be there. Maybe I’ll meet him,” Hubert called as he entered the hanger. “Join us.”
Meeting Hitler held no enticement for Penn. He checked the plane and when his mechanic joined him, they prepared the machine for the next day. The man was a Jew, but one of the best mechanics in his unit. Penn listened to him, took his time learning from the man as he examined the plane.
By the time they finished, the sky had turned gray and lights had come on. Penn thanked Josh.
“I’ve been servicing the new Junkers 87,” Josh said.
Penn nodded. “What do you think of the plane?”
“That I weren’t a Jew, I could make improvements, use my mechanical engineering skills, and increase its speed. In a battle, the plane will be a terror in bombing raids, but it is slow and cumbersome in flight and will be a sitting duck.” Josh laughed. “Perhaps that’s good for me. Something I shouldn’t say.”
Penn patted him on the back. “I’m more interested in getting back into my ME-109.”
“Fast,” Josh said, “excellent climber and diver. I understand why you want to get into it. Love flying it myself.”
“Four hundred miles per hour. Hard to beat.” Penn heard the pensiveness in Josh’s voice, an excellent aviator, but a Jew was considered inferior, not able to fly a plane. “The Nazis have more than their share of stupidity. Fly with me, tomorrow. My student has paperwork to do in the morning. No one need to know we’re together.”
“Best you keep that to yourself, friend, and I’d love to go with you.”
“We’ll chance it. I’ll check out the Messerschmitt ME-110. My time is free.”
He took his leave anxious to give Hannah his news. He had rented an apartment on edge of the Jewish section of the city. It came furnished. He had been told some German had married a Jew and may have fled Germany rather than give up his wife who, the manager told Penn, was a rocket scientist. He gestured with his shoulders.
“We may regret losing her,” Penn said.
“The woman is a Jew. You’re implying she is intelligent.” The manager grunted in disgust.
Penn rented the unit with the knowledge he would have to move when the apartment sold. The SS would not bother them but concentrate on the Jews in the nearby apartments in the Jewish district. He marked the nearness of the Charité Hospital where Hannah had worked and the view of the Neue Synagogue with its beautiful façade, Moorish airs and gold-encrusted dome. The synagogue was senselessly assaulted by storm-troopers on Kristallnacht but saved by a local police chief who chased the thugs off and allowed the fire brigade to save it. Penn shook his head. He heard the police chief had been transferred the next day.
That aside, Hannah and he would no longer need to meet at the Tiergarten at night and sit on cold benches. He would not have to worry about his father’s scrutiny, or what he was doing departing each evening, or put up with his mother’s match making attempts.
Thinking of Hannah’s beauty, her delicate femininity, sent warmth spreading through him and into his groin. He could taste her lips, feel her breath, and observe the way she moved. When with her, he lived temporarily under a spell of magic. He rubbed his jaw. He was lonely for her every moment he was on land.
Glancing at his watch, he made an eye count of fighter planes on the tamarack and counted far too many for peacetime activities. In two hours, he would lead Hannah into his new quarters, a breath of freshness in an otherwise sick nation. He dared hope she would marry him and move into the apartment. Her religion did not bother him. Penn laughed at the absurdity and smiled. If that happened, his parents would be in a stew again. When his aunt, his father’s sister, married a Jew, the family exploded. Aunt Millicent and husband, Abel moved to Switzerland where he entered the banking business. No one in the family mention her on his father’s orders. Penn found out about their son Josef, his cousin, by accident while visiting Zurich. They formed a friendship, and he visited his relatives whenever he was in Zurich, his father be damned.
Penn parked three blocks from Hannah’s home out of sight of his parents’ house, climbed out of his car, cursing the ridiculous laws concerning Jews, and walked far enough to watch for Hannah.
His mind whirled with worry. With the preparations of pilots and soldiers for an army, and sailors to build a strong navy, it was only a matter of time until there was a war. Unfortunately, too many Germans did not believe Hitler would lead them into war. They considered a little evil against the Jews, the price to pay for stability and economic growth. Penn worried the price would be too great.
When Hannah met him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, but despair assaulted his mind. The intolerance of the Jews grew day by day putting Hannah’s future in jeopardy, and in the back of his mind, that of his mechanic, Josh. He wanted to marry Hannah, protect her, but how long could he. He walked a dangerous path with images of horrible outcomes flashing in his mind. He held her against him, his arms tightening her as though he could shield her.
Hannah squirmed out of his arms, ran her finger over his lips sending bolts of lightning to his chest, as she took his hand. “You will crush me.”
“Never. I have a surprise for you,” he said, his voice deeper than usual.
“I don’t know if I need surprises,” she said. “I’ve had enough for one day.”
“Has something happened?” He kissed her to erase his fear, then tucked her arm under his and led her to his car, his heart pounding in his ears.
“I went to the Jewish Quarter with Papa, this morning. The poverty, the feeling of defeat, permeated the air. Jews are struggling to exist. Obtaining immigration papers is extremely difficult. Papa visited an elderly woman who had been dragged out of her apartment by the brown shirts and beaten for no reason.” She choked away a sob. “Oh, Penn, what can we do to stop this?”
Penn was at a loss for a solution. He had no shield to protect her. He firmly believed Hitler had to be removed from office, but every time the British and French gave into Hitler’s demands, war was averted and his popularity soared. Aware of an undercurrent resistance movement to the man and his criminals, Penn resolved to join them, but flying left him little time to search for the planners.
Hannah swiped away a t
ear from her eye. “Life is so uncertain.”
“Yes.” Life would be intolerable without her, the best and most beautiful woman in the world. His chest tightened in a vise, his mind in confusion.
To change the subject and to lighten his mood, he said, “You haven’t heard my surprise.”
“It must be important. You’re wearing your uniform. You look too handsome. Every nice German girl will want you.” She squeezed his arm, hurling rockets to his private parts.
“Your surprise?” she repeated.
“I’m going to show you. Because I’m weary of us sneaking about, spending our time in the dark in the Tiergarten sitting on a hard bench, freezing out toes, we’re going to a little shop for beer and something to eat,” Penn said. “I’m proud to be seen with you. No one will question us while I’m in uniform.”
“What if I’m recognized? I don’t want to be dragged out of the shop and along the street with everyone taunting me, hitting me with sticks, ripping my clothes from my body.” Hannah sniffed. “I couldn’t abide such treatment.” She glanced at him, the brightness in her eyes gone, replaced by sadness.
“You are no different than any German woman except far more beautiful.” He kissed her cheek. “Leave your hat on. It frames your face like a frame on a painting. I’ll never allow anyone to drag you along the street.” How can I prevent it? The thought pained him and he chilled from the inside.
They reached his car and he opened door. “Your great beauty is a problem. You’re noticed, but we’re going to risk it.”