by Ruby Keller
Oliver and John looked just as proud as me. We were lucky we got to witness such a beautiful friendship right from the very beginning.
“Our boys look so cute cuddling together,” I whispered.
We headed back into the living room now that they had fallen asleep. We sat on the couch to continue where we had left off.
John crossed his arms nervously. “So as I was saying, I’m quite apprehensive about proposing to my boy. I’m so scared he might say no that it’s preventing me from going down on one knee. Things are so good between us and I don’t want to ruin it all by proposing too soon. I know five years is a long time but I don’t know if he wants to be my husband.”
I rubbed his back. “It’s going to be alright, John. Think positively. What if he says yes? Everyone I know has always dreamed of having what you two have. You two were meant to be.”
He smiled and tilted his head. “We are perfect together and there’s no doubt about that. But you know how us Daddies are. Unlike other relationships, Daddies make their boys their entire world. We spend day after day taking care of their every need and making sure we spoil them with things and all the love they could ever want. We live and breathe for our boys and their happiness becomes our life’s sole purpose. But when you make them your entire world like the way we do? We grow inseparable from them and hearing a no when you propose would mean the end of the world.”
I knew exactly what he meant. Clayton’s death hurt as much as it did because I had made him my entire world. I was proud of that and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was the same with Elijah now, with each passing day it simply seemed impossible to live without him, and though Oliver wasn’t a boy I was beginning to feel the same for him.
“You know it’s a rule, don’t you?” Oliver rubbed his back in small circles, his secret weapon to make anyone relax instantly. “We make rules for our boys and we expect them to follow. One of those rules is not to worry or think too much. What-ifs can be scary but you shouldn’t overthink. There might be a million reasons for why he might say no, and you can spend month after month playing out all the possible scenarios in your head. On the other hand, there’s only one reason for saying yes, and that’s because he loves you and wants to be you. I know you believe in your love just as much as he does, so use your Daddy’s intuition and make the decision. Besides, you could always try to know his thoughts on marriage beforehand. Do you want our boy to casually ask him his thoughts on getting married one day?”
He shook his head and smiled. “No, I want it to be a complete surprise. But you’re right, the more I postpone it the more I worry. I know I want him to be my husband, so I should believe in our love. I’m gonna wait for the right moment and pop the question.”
“Good,” I said, patting his thigh. “But don’t wait for too long. Boys can tell when their Daddies are stressed or worrying too much.”
I wondered what it would be like to be married to my men. I now introduced them to others as my husband in my head and it sounded just so right. Instead of freaking out or judging us, they would see our relationship for what it was, full of love. It wasn’t legally recognized but there was hope that it would be one day.
I snapped out of my fantasies when Oliver switched the TV on. I still had a long way to go before I could dream of such a thing. Oliver and I still hadn’t used the L-word yet and it was beginning to look like I had to be the first one to say it. I hoped he felt the same way.
Chapter 19: Oliver
It had been a long time since we’d been to the waterfall and now that the weather was favorable in the afternoons we decided to go together. It was usually Elijah’s naptime but he decided to skip it since he was just as excited as us.
On our way, I decided to ask Elijah what I’d been wanting to ask him. “You know your friend better than we do. How do you think he feels about John?”
He held onto my hand as I led the way. “He’s madly in love I’d say. They’ve been together for years and their love only grows stronger. Sometimes when it’s just the two of us he likes to talk about his Daddy and he only has great things to say.”
“Yeah?” I grinned. “You talk about your Daddies a lot too? I hope you speak good things.”
When we reached, we stood at the edge of the boulder in our swim briefs and Elijah looked down at the water.
“How come it looks deeper every time we visit?” he said, leaning over.
I knew jumping in was the hardest part so Lance and I wrapped our arms around his waist, sandwiching him in the middle.
He chuckled. “It’s like you can read my mind. I feel so fearless when I jump in with you.”
“Are you ready?” Lance asked and he nodded.
On the count of three, we all jumped in. When he came out of the water he sighed in contentment. The water was just the right temperature for a relaxing afternoon.
“Do you remember the first time we came here with Coco?” he asked as he swam to face me.
“I remember everything.” I smiled. “A huge splash hit us in the face when she jumped in and she couldn’t stop shaking her fur all up in our faces.”
“I wish I was there too,” Lance said, splashing water in Elijah’s face. “Is this how she splashed you?”
Elijah giggled and put his hands up before his face. “No, but that’s how Michael splashed me in the bathtub. And this is how I responded.”
They splashed at each other while I shook my head with a grin. When they directed their splashes at me, I was forced to retaliate, except I had the biggest hands and so my splashes had them soaking wet.
“Not fair!” Elijah laughed and shook his hair wildly.
When I began swimming towards the waterfall, they followed me until we all stood under it holding hands. The water fell from far too high for us to stand under it for more than a minute. I stepped behind it and climbed into the cave, giving my men a hand to help them climb in too.
As we stood and looked through it, the sound of water crashing before us was far too loud but the view was worth it.
“Let’s step further in so it isn’t deafeningly loud.” Once I found just the right spot I lay on the cave’s ground and they lay on either side.
With his hands behind his head, Lance sighed. “Such a wonderful view. It’s a shame we can’t come here all around the year.”
“Do you remember, Daddy?” Elijah turned to his side and looked at me. “The first we came here Coco tried to cross the waterfall but she wouldn’t step under it even when she saw us doing it. We had to get in without her and she had to leave. Time is such a funny thing. I’ve been here so many times over the months and each time I feel so different.”
“And how do you feel this time?” I asked.
“I feel thankful for having you both in my life. It was here in this cave that I realized I was in love with you, Daddy,” he said with a smile and then looked at Lance. “Back then I was convinced I had everything I needed, but then months later it was in this cave again when I realized I was falling for you too, Daddy.”
Elijah gave me a quick peck on the lips and then leaned in to kiss Lance. Lance was used to giving aggressive kisses so it lasted a lot longer with a lot of tongue action right before my face.
“Where’s my kiss?” I teased with a grin, looking at Lance. “So much love for our boy and none for his Daddy?”
He laughed before leaning in. ”Come here, sexy Daddy.”
Planting his lips on mine, he pushed his tongue in my mouth just as passionately as he had with our boy seconds ago. He held my face in his hands as I sucked onto his tongue, my hands grabbing onto his ass. When we opened our eyes Elijah’s cheeks had turned red.
He looked adorable blushing a deep red as he adjusted the growing boner in his briefs. “Wow, that was so hot.”
Lance chuckled, resting his head on my chest while I stroked his hair. “It sure was-” looking up at me- “Oliver, there’s something I need to tell you.”
I grinned and nodded as his smile
faded, his fingers nervously circling on my nipple. “What is it?”
He took a deep breath as his face turned stern, his gaze shifting between us before he finally spoke. “I…love you, Oliver. I love you because you’re so nice to our boy. I thought I was only getting a boy when I stepped into this relationship, but now I realize that we were all meant to be one loving family. I know you don’t believe in destiny the way I do, but I believe it was always meant to be the three of us.”
I just stared at him so he continued when I didn’t respond. “I think I’ve been in love with you longer than I realize. But when you both were by my side at Clayton’s grave, I realized that it was what I wanted from life. All the money I make and all the fancy things I own mean nothing to me. They don’t bring me joy, you both do. The only thing I want from life is to spend all of it with you two. I don’t care what life throws at me. As long as I have my men to go through it with me it’s all that matters. I know from what Elijah told me that you have difficulty verbalizing your love, so I can wait as long as you need. You may not feel the same way right now and that’s fine too.”
I turned my head to see Elijah covering his mouth with his hands as if he couldn’t believe all of this was happening. Water formed in Elijah’s eyes which meant he had been waiting far too long to witness this moment. He quietly whispered to himself, “My God, it’s really happening.”
I smiled and turned back to Lance who looked at me expectantly. “Lance, you’re right. For the longest time, I’ve had trouble verbalizing love, but that’s because I had lost faith in the word. It meant nothing to me and I believed it to be a trap, something which doesn’t last or is often confused with lust. But then my men walked into my life and changed my mind. I no longer fear to say it out loud. In fact, I’m proud to say that I feel it now. I love you, Lance Hoult, and I will continue to love you till my last breath.”
Lance smiled ear and ear, looking the happiest I’d ever seen him. Giving me a quick peck on the lips he sighed and went back to resting his head onto my chest, his hand now stroking my abs.
When I heard silent sobs from my side, I turned to see that Elijah’s eyes had turned red and a single tear was running down his cheek.
“Aw, honey.” I pulled him in until his head was my chest next to Lance’s. “Are you crying because we didn’t say we love you? We love just as much, my sweet boy. That has never changed and it never will.”
He wiped his tear as Lance finally noticed that Elijah was trying to suppress his sobs. “Oh, just ignore me, Daddy. I grew up never knowing love and I’ve never had a family. But now that my Daddies are in love, my dream of having a family is finally coming true. I’m sorry for ruining your moment and hogging all the attention. Today’s about you two and I shouldn’t have ruined it.”
“You haven’t ruined anything, sweetheart.” Lance stroked his cheek with a thumb. “Besides, today’s not about your Daddies. It’s about us as a family, all three of us. Don’t apologize for being who you are.”
My men were smiling up at me and I truly felt I was part of a family.
I kissed their wet heads one after the other. “Ah, this is as good as life gets. There’s nothing better than knowing your family loves you just as much.”
Lance chuckled and kissed my nipple. “Life can get better than this and it soon will. Remember the surprise we’ve been planning for our boy?”
I grinned and winked at Lance to make Elijah curious. “Ssh! It’s supposed to be a surprise, remember? You’ll ruin it all if he finds out!”
Elijah gaped, shifting his gaze between us. “There’s a surprise for me? What is it? I want to know right away. Oh, I hope it’s a stuffed toy! I haven’t had one of those in a long time.”
Lance laughed. “It’s a hundred times more exciting than a toy, but that’s all you get to know for now. You’re gonna pass out from all the excitement when you find out. I’m sure of it. But you have to wait for it like a good boy.”
“I already have all I want, my Daddies,” he said. “I’ve only wanted a family all my life and now I have one.”
Boy, was he in for a surprise. Lance and I had spent weeks discussing and preparing, and it was all going to come to fruition very soon. I was surprised Michael hadn’t already told him all about it. Maybe Michael truly was as good at keeping secrets as he claimed.
Chapter 20: Elijah
“Are you sure about this, sweetie?” Lance turned around from the front seat and looked at me. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to turn back now. We wouldn’t think any less of you for backing out at the last minute.”
“I’m sure, Daddy.” I nodded. “I have to do this for myself.”
He smiled and turned back to Oliver who was driving us to the prison to meet my father. When my therapist suggested I get closure with my father about the physical abuse he had inflicted upon me, I instantly agreed with her. Therapy was helping and I felt ready to let go of the past and heal. It was time I focused on my happiness and future.
All my life I shivered in my father’s presence, starting right from when I could barely speak. He needed the slightest of reasons to whip me senseless, sometimes going on until I passed out from the pain. He used to say I deserved the punishment and I believed him. It was his way of punishing me for killing my mother in childbirth. He hid it from me that I wasn’t his biological son, which he must’ve used to justify his actions. In his head, he was punishing Peter, my biological father, with whom she’d had a secret affair. It wasn’t surprising that my mother looked for love elsewhere considering my father was a drunk wife beater who didn’t let her leave.
Peter hadn’t been in my life until just a few months ago, and though he was my biological father he felt more like a friend. We usually met on the weekends when he was free, spending hours at the small Indian place down at the beach where we mostly spoke about my mother. I wanted to know everything about her and I was only getting to know her through him. I hoped to visit Germany one day where she and Peter had planned to raise me together once I was born. Running away from my father was a risk she was willing to take.
I still hadn’t come out to Peter and I had introduced my Daddies as my best friends. We picked up Peter from his house and sitting next to me, he smiled. “It is very brave of you to face your oppressor, you know. But I want you to remember that he’s a master manipulator. You shouldn’t let him manipulate you into believing his lies again.”
I shook my head as Oliver started the car. “Yes, I think my...friends will make sure that doesn’t happen. They’ll get me out of there the moment things get out of control. I’m so glad to have you with me, Peter. It means a lot.”
“Of course, Elijah. I should’ve been with you all those years, but I’m glad your...friends saved you from his grip.”
It was weird every time he or I referred to my Daddies as my friends. Maybe it was time I told him who they really were. I’d always been scared of coming out because my father was very homophobic.
I didn’t want to lie to Peter anymore. “Peter, there’s something I need to tell you. For the longest time, I’d been scared of saying it out loud because I was taught that I shouldn’t feel the way I’ve always felt.”
When I looked at him, he grinned. “If you’re about to tell me you’re gay I already know that. It makes no difference to me because there’s no shame in being who you are. I’ll always be proud of the man you’ve grown to be and I’m proud to call you my son.”
My mouth fell open as I let out a sigh of relief. “But how could you have known?”
He shrugged. “When you live as long as I have, sometimes you just know through instinct.”
I finally had a parent who accepted me for who I was and loved me unconditionally. Maybe it should’ve been enough that he was fine with my sexuality, but I wanted him to know my men for who they truly were, my lovers. Society didn’t receive throuples well but I was tired of hiding my life from the ones who cared about it.
Knowing it might not be as well-rece
ived, I nervously played with my hair. “There’s something else you should know. Lance and Oliver aren’t really my friends. They’re my…-” I took a deep breath and continued - “They’re my boyfriends. Yes, I know it isn’t conventional but we’re in love and I want you to know. Society might react poorly but it doesn’t matter. All I need is your support.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Well, that was obvious since you live with your ‘friends’ and they’re as old as me. The way the three of you look at each other I could tell it was love. I know love when I see it.”
My eyes widened as I shook my head in disbelief. “No way! If you knew so much why didn’t you say something?”
Lance smiled at Oliver, resting his head onto his shoulder. He could finally relax about PDA. We always tried not to touch each other in Peter’s presence, going out of our way to pretend we were three straight men who were just friends. It was a shame that straight men avoided physical contact at all costs; as if showing male affection would cause people to question their masculinity.
He patted my thigh. “I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. I didn’t want to confront you with something you weren’t ready to talk about yet. I’m happy you found love early. Some people spend a lifetime searching for it, moving from one relationship to another, only to end up all alone at the end.”
I didn’t know if I believed in Lance’s claim of destiny bringing us together or Oliver’s belief that there’s no such thing as destiny. Nevertheless, I was glad I met my men and that was all that mattered. I opened my mouth to tell him the rest of the truth, but then I decided not to tell him they were my Daddies. Maybe I would tell him one day, but I knew he was going to be just as accepting.