She picked up her second, drinking it before I had a chance to ask my next question.
“Hey,” I said. “Not fair.”
“I feel like I needed that one before we go on.” Her face looked a bit flushed. “This is getting intense.”
It was intense. Our knees were touching. We were both leaning into each other. I had my eyes locked on hers. “Are you ever going to break up with your boyfriend?” I felt a spark of heat move up my neck with those words. I can’t believe I flat out asked her the one question I wanted answered most. But I wanted her all to myself, and she had to know that now. “I’m afraid I gave you bad advice when I told you to stay with him and get to know him. Sometimes things feel off with someone because they are off.”
Emma broke eye contact and gestured for Rhett to get us two more shots. He got them, but he glared at me the entire time he poured them. I wasn’t sure I liked how protective he was of her. Anyway, I didn’t plan on drinking my next. I wanted to keep a level head from here on out.
She picked up her next drink.
“Wait.” I gently touched her arm. “You’re a question behind.”
“Your question requires two.” She tipped the shot glass back, drinking down the liquid, making this her third. She had to be starting to feel the effects of our game. And she had yet to answer my last question.
Setting her empty glass down, she leaned in against my shoulder. “I already have.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“The day you got here. The day I got my genetics testing back. I just ripped it off like a bandage. My relationship that is. I broke up with Nick that day.”
This news shook me. My thoughts swirled. It didn’t help that she leaned against me, clearly getting a little tipsy.
“Why haven’t you told me?” I asked, swallowing hard, muttering the words against the side of her head. We both knew the promise I made her. That I would kiss her as soon as she wasn’t with him anymore. And now she wasn’t with him anymore.
She sat back up and shrugged.
A moment or two passed where the air between us was so thick and tense, I could barely think straight. I was still trying to process her last truth. A large part of me wanted to take my next shot, just to ease the tension, but I didn’t.
“Are you going to kiss me now?” she uttered.
Her eyes were a mixture of fear and anticipation. Everything about her body language said she wanted me to. And fuck…if I didn’t want to kiss her.
“Not this moment,” I said softly.
She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest, and I couldn’t help the giant smile that came to my lips because of her reaction.
“You want me to that much?”
She grinned the cutest, most tempting grin. “Obviously.”
“Not this moment,” I repeated, enjoying the torture I was inflicting on us both too much.
I wouldn’t kiss her while she was intoxicated. Or while we were talking about it. But now that I knew that moment would eventually come, I felt a new warmth grow in my chest.
~ CHAPTER 29 ~
EMMA
“You know, technically…” I pointed out to Caleb. “We’ve already kissed.”
I loved playing this game with him. Not only had it helped me forget everything shitty in life for the moment, it was giving me the excuse to learn more about him. My heart swelled knowing he’d come to stay in North Carolina for me. Now I just needed to determine if Nick had been right or wrong. Was Caleb only pursuing me because he liked the challenge? And wanted my virginity? It didn’t feel that way, but how was I supposed to know for sure?
“That wasn’t a kiss,” he said.
“I’m pretty sure it was.”
“It wasn’t.”
“I think a dictionary would define a kiss as two people’s lips touching.” I tried to stand to inch my phone from my pocket. I wanted to Google it to prove him wrong. But I wobbled a bit more than expected, so I sat back down on the barstool.
He caught my wrist. “I don’t care what the dictionary says. Emma, trust me, that wasn’t a kiss.” His eyes were adamant. “You’ll know when I kiss you. I promise.”
He took a long breath and pointed at the remaining shot of bourbon sitting beside us. “You have one more question.”
Right. I picked up the last shot and drank it. I guess that brought my total to three. “What’s your last question for me?”
“Um…that was mine,” Caleb said.
I laughed, thinking he’d lost track. But then quickly realized I’d lost track. I’d drunk his, which meant I was at four. Great. Just perfect. I didn’t want to turn into a complete mess in front of him. I already felt buzzed. If I vomited, I’d be mortified. If I admitted to anything else more personal, I’d be mortified. My freckles—they were small peanuts compared to some of the bigger secrets I kept locked away.
“I shouldn’t have drank that,” I said in all seriousness. “This might not end well.”
“I’ll take care of you if it doesn’t. Do you want your last question? Or do you want to be finished with this game?” He still had his hand on my arm, steadying me.
Hell yes, I wanted one more question.
“How many girls have you been with?” I blurted out. It was probably the most impolite question I could have asked. Sober me never would have. But I wanted to know how great his experience was in comparison to my lack thereof. Was it something we were both thinking about? Or just me?
His face was expressionless as he answered, “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? You lost track?”
“Yeah.”
I swallowed. “Ballpark? Single digits. Double? Triple?”
He sat back and brushed his hands through his hair. “Somewhere in the double digits…I hope.”
I guess, after all, he was Caleb Mills—Rock God. I’d forgotten for a moment, thinking of him just as Caleb. Each time he smiled at me, it always felt like it was just for me. Maybe it never had been. Maybe it never would be. If I slept with him, would I be just one in a long line of many? He gave the impression, in his chivalrous manner, that he was better than Ollie. But maybe he wasn’t.
Why was I stressing about this when we hadn’t even kissed?
“I’m a virgin,” I told him flat out.
“I know,” he answered. “At least, I suspected.”
I sighed, feeling the weight of this conversation on my shoulders. He already knew I was a virgin? Of course, he already knew. Something about me just screamed it. Maybe my freckles. Maybe my curly hair. Nick had known before I told him as well.
“I think we should call it a night,” I told Caleb. “The room is beginning to spin.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s go find Luke. I’m sure he’s sober and can drive us. I’ll drop you off at your house.”
“Someone at the party will give me a ride home.”
“I’m not leaving your side until I know you are home safe.” He pulled out his phone and dialed someone.
I was so disappointed in myself. Somewhere between that concert in Richmond and showing him my breasts on the beach, I’d let myself start to develop serious feelings for Caleb. I might as well be back at square one all over again—obsessing over Ollie Mills through pictures on Instagram.
Ollie… Caleb… did it even matter?
Was it all the same difference?
~ CHAPTER 30 ~
CALEB
That game spiraled quickly. I couldn’t change my past. I couldn’t change those early days when our band first became popular, when women threw themselves at us like we were candy, and subsequently I let anything that came my way into my bed.
I knew my mistakes. Fuck if I’d let my past ruin the potential I saw with Emma.
My hands trembled as I walked her outside.
I knew I needed to say or do something to make this better. I just didn’t know what. I’d never been good at fighting for what I wanted. It was why the girl in the rain left me
. It was why I let her leave me.
But Emma was different.
I felt something for her I couldn’t describe. Something raw and real, and I needed more time to sort through these feelings stirring in my chest. The moment she told me she didn’t have a boyfriend anymore, I thought that meant we had a genuine chance at becoming something more, and now I wasn’t as confident. But I was determined. Determined to stay and fight and prove to her she could trust me.
“Emma,” I softly said.
I reached for her hand under the darkness of a broken streetlamp. The night air chilled my bones, and the soft sounds of laughter and music played in the background. Luke was across the parking lot, waiting for us by the Hummer.
“Wait. Please.”
With a sigh, she stopped and turned around to face me. Her pale blue eyes were the only thing keeping me afloat at the moment.
“You need to know,” I told her, “that I’m not perfect. I have a past. And there are parts of my past I’m not particularly proud of. Moments I’m ashamed of. But in all those hazy nights, in cities I can’t remember, with women who blur together, I’ve never felt the level of connection I feel when I’m with you.” I held her gaze fiercely.
It was intense, and blinding, and I needed to follow this through. However far it took me. That was my ultimate truth.
The door to Chancy’s Claw opened, and I dropped her hand.
Rhett came outside, joined by a blond guy who’d been at the bar the same time as us. Both had sour looks on their faces. I’d left money on the bar. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten to pay. But I had a feeling this wasn’t about the bill. This was about Emma.
I know how it looked—like I’d been trying to get her drunk so I could take her home. But that simply wasn’t the case. I would never take advantage of Emma or any woman. So I wouldn’t back down from these two idiots if they were about to start something, assuming that because of my profession I was a certain way with women. I’d been raised better than that.
“Emma, are you leaving?” Rhett called out. He stalked across the parking lot to where we stood. The other guy close at his heels.
“Yes. Caleb is taking me home.”
“Noah said he can take you.” He nodded to the other guy.
I didn’t care who the fuck Noah was. Some kind of blond Jesus wannabe? How could I trust him? I was not about to let him take her anywhere. The two of them could kiss my ass. Sure, Noah and Rhett combined probably had about fifty pounds on me. But I grew up in the south, in a town far more redneck then their nice little beach paradise, and I wasn’t afraid to release my country side if need be.
I think Emma sensed the tension in me. Because she touched my arm as if to calm me. “Caleb’s brother is going to drive us,” she told Rhett. There was a hell of a lot of conviction in her voice.
“I could call Luce to come get you.”
“I’m fine.” She wobbled into me, which didn’t help her case. But she kept her ground and repeated herself. “I’m fine. Caleb is my friend. He will get me home safe.”
Rhett still seemed hesitant, but ultimately, he gave in. “Okay. I trust your judgement. But I’m going to call Luce and let her know you’re on her way. I’ll tell her you’ll be there soon.”
“Okay. Thank you. Goodnight, Rhett. Goodnight, Noah.” She gave them an awkward wave. Finally they both left and returned to the bar.
“Is Rhett always like that?” I asked.
“Annoying? Yeah, he can be. Luce is practically my big sister. And he and Luce go way back. Same goes for Noah. I’ve grown up with all of them always looking out for me. Sometimes it’s a little suffocating. Anyway... can you take me home now?”
I nodded. Either she’d already forgotten my little speech about how connected I felt to her, or she was choosing to ignore it. Whichever was the case, it didn’t feel good.
“Of course, I can take you home,” I said politely.
I was always so damn polite.
Maybe that was my problem.
We headed off to the Hummer. Emma took the front seat, while I climbed in the back.
Ollie and Dani were inside, buckled and everything. “Hey guys,” I said to them, a little surprised to find them already in the car as I slammed my door shut. “I thought maybe you’d want to stay later.”
Dani shrugged. “I was bored. You left and it got boring.”
“There weren’t any decent single girls,” Ollie added. “The girl I wanted to be here—wasn’t.” Since when in his life had Ollie ever been picky?
Luke put the car in reverse, and we set off toward Emma’s house. She stayed quiet in the front seat. In less than five minutes we had arrived.
“I’ll text you later then,” she told me over her shoulder. “Give you an update on your hoodie.”
“Sure,” I answered.
And that was the end of that. She hopped out of the car and our night together was over.
“Wow,” Dani commented once she was inside her house. “Riveting stuff, Caleb. I’ll give you an update on your hoodie. You probably should have left the car and walked her to the door.”
“Or maybe invited her with us back to the house.” Ollie always had his two cents to add. “You should have already locked that down. She’s into you so I don’t understand what’s taking you so long to fuck her.”
I groaned and stretched back against the seat. The peanut gallery was not helping. “Just drive, Luke. Oh, and turn the music up, please.”
He did as I asked.
It was an impossibly long drive back to Carova. The music helped drown out the noise in my head. All my insecurities were trying to torment me.
It was about thirty minutes later. I’d kind of drifted off to sleep, clutching my phone, when Luke spoke for the first time. It might have been the first time he spoke all evening.
“Hey guys, we might have a problem.”
I popped my head up.
“I can’t see a thing,” Luke clarified. “It’s too damn foggy to see the road.”
We were driving in the sand.
He was right. It was impossible to see even a foot in front of the car, let alone find the road. There weren’t streetlights out here. The last thing we needed was to drive straight into the ocean. Why did Dani have to book the furthest house from civilization?
“Let’s back track to the gas station right before the off-roading starts. We can hang out there for a while,” I decided. “Maybe the fog will clear. If not, we can sleep in the car until morning.”
“Oh. My. God!” Dani grumbled. She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped down in the seat. “I’m done. I’m done with this town. I’m trying really hard to keep it together for you, Caleb. But I need a Target! And I need a Chipotle! And some retail therapy! But most all, I need a break from all you boys!”
Shit, my phone started to ring right in the middle of Dani’s outburst. I looked down at the screen and it was Emma. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I snapped. “She’s calling, guys. Quiet the fuck down!”
Surprisingly, they did as I asked and stopped with all the complaints. I took a deep breath and answered. I don’t know how Emma did it—but one phone call and my heart began to race like mad inside my chest.
“Hey,” I said calmly.
“Hey,” Emma answered. “I’m actually calling because—”
“Tell her we are stuck, and we don’t know what to do!” Dani shouted into my phone.
I wanted to strangle Dani. I gave her the meanest look, one she probably couldn’t even see in the dark, and pushed her away from my phone.
“What’s happening?” Emma asked. She seemed genuinely concerned.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I lied. “Dani’s being dramatic. Why were you calling?”
“Luce is driving me north. I really need to see you. Tonight if I can? I can come to your rental if that’s okay. I don’t feel like we finished our conversation. And I’m kind of freaking out about it. Maybe that’s just the bourbon talking. And now you probably thin
k I’m some crazy stalker fan. I’m not, I promise. I’m just really sorry about how I handled your truth earlier. That wasn’t fair of me to judge you so easily and react the way I did. I need to see you. I need to apologize. Is there any chance you want to see me? I guess I’d understand if you never wanted to again. Luce can easily turn around if you don’t.”
Of course I wanted to see her again. “Let me send you our location. We aren’t at our rental. We’re at some gas station.”
“Oh thank God!” Dani cried. “We’re saved.”
~ CHAPTER 31 ~
EMMA
It was well after midnight. I’d started to sober up. Well, sort of. I still felt semi-fuzzy, but it was paired with queasiness now. Regret over the way I’d panicked when Caleb told me about all the women he’d been with previously—it kicked me in the gut.
I shouldn’t have judged him so harshly.
I shouldn’t have assumed that, because he’d been with lots of women, it meant I couldn’t ever be with him. Maybe, on second thought, he was the perfect type of man to help me get over my hurdles with dating and sex. The perfect teacher. Maybe I wouldn’t ever get him all to myself, but I could learn from him.
He said he felt connected to me. I didn’t know what he meant by that. I wanted to believe it meant I was something special to him. But how many other ‘friends’ like me did he have in this world? When he said connected, did he mean we had a good sexual chemistry? Because we hadn’t even kissed yet and that seemed to be exactly where my mind kept wanting to go.
Luce drove and she pulled up next to a large black Hummer at the address of the gas station Caleb had texted me.
“Leave it to you, to get messed up with this bunch,” Luce complained, describing the band like they were drug dealers I’d met in a back alley. “They can’t even drive their flashy-as-hell Hummer in the dark. Pathetic.” She cut the engine on my Volkswagen.
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