Never Trust a Rockstar

by Sarah Darlington

“If you’re really serious about him then you need to test the shit out of him.” She sat forward and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you told him you’re going to get the double mastectomy?”

  “Yes. He knows I’m considering it.”

  “Oh. Okay… good.” Where was she going with this?

  “You should call him right now. Invite him to dinner at the house. Tonight.”

  Yikes, that sounded like a terrible plan. Mom didn’t even know I’d left Nick yet. And to bring another guy home immediately? And Pop? He was protective of me like a dad. “It’s a little soon.”

  “So what? That’s how you test him. You shove all the crap in our lives at him as hard and as fast as you can. And if he still sticks around… if he doesn’t go running back to his normal life, then you know he’s serious about you.”

  I swallowed hard. She made a good point. After Caleb opened up to me last night, told me about his insecurities, I felt a little closer to trusting him.

  “Okay. I’ll do it.”

  A part of me wanted to test him. To see if he could handle everything in my life.

  Me: Want to come to my house for dinner tonight? Meet my family? Just you?

  I sent the message and my hands started to shake. That was probably the dumbest move. He’d come to our small house, see my mom at her frailest, and probably imagine me like that one day. The mastectomy surgery—it would reduce my chances of getting breast cancer considerably but not completely. Not only that, it would leave my breasts scarred, nipple-less if I chose that, and nothing close to what they looked like now. What then? If Caleb was still around by that point...would he still like me if he saw me like that? That was why Luce had asked if I told him. She knew most guys wouldn’t be able to handle all that.

  Just as I was starting to feel like I might vomit, a text came back from Caleb.

  Caleb: I’ll be there. What time?

  Me: Is 7 okay?

  Caleb: Can it be a little earlier? It’s a long drive back to Carova. We should leave your house before it gets dark.

  Did he type that correctly?

  Me: We?

  Caleb: Yes, we. I want you in my arms, in my bed, every night.

  What? He sent another message.

  Caleb: Last night changed my life.

  Me: Then why were you down at the beach? I woke up and you weren’t there.

  We pulled up to the gas station. Luce thanked John. And I, in a haze, blindly stepped outside the car.

  Caleb: My head was screaming with lyrics. I needed to get them out before they drove me insane. I found a notepad in John’s kitchen. Then I went down to the beach to watch the sunrise and write. I figured you’d still be asleep when I finished. Tomorrow you will wake up next to me. I promise.

  I could not stop the warm, gooey feeling that took over my chest. These weren’t things you said to someone if you weren’t planning on sticking around for long.

  Me: How about 5 then?

  Caleb: See you then.

  ~ CHAPTER 34 ~

  CALEB

  I’d never met anyone’s parents. This seemed fast. But fuck it. I was invested in Emma. And if she wanted me to meet her family, then I could do that.

  I spent part of the day putting some of the lyrics I’d written to music. And then the rest of the day, I searched for a rental closer to Emma. I might as well be in another state for as far away from her place as I was in Carova.

  My clothing options were limited. I hadn’t planned for this when I packed. I had to wear what I had, which was a long-sleeve shirt and jeans. I stopped at a florist on the way, so when I rang her doorbell, I felt prepared. But that didn’t stop my hands from trembling.

  Emma answered the door.

  She had her hair down, curly—curlier than I’d ever seen it—and she hadn’t worn makeup to cover her freckles. A smile came to her lips and it made me instantly feel better.

  “These are for your mom,” I said immediately, meaning the flowers. Then I felt like a jackass for not bringing her some too.

  She took them from me.

  “Thanks. That was thoughtful. C’mon, everyone is in the living room.”

  She turned to show me the way into her house. But I caught her elbow before she could get away from me. I hadn’t seen her all day, and this might be our only moment alone. I hooked a finger under her chin, and carefully brought my lips to hers. It was the lightest of kisses, but it still made my heart explode.

  “Still doesn’t count,” I whispered as I pulled back.

  Except these kisses were starting to feel like they did count.

  After a quick pit stop in the kitchen where Emma put the flowers in water, she showed me into the living room. Her house was small but clean. Something about it reminded me of my childhood home. Maybe the smell, like warm apples, or maybe all the family photos covering the walls. My brothers and I bought our parents a much bigger home once our band hit it big. It had been a good five years since I’d felt that feeling. The feeling of being home. And I found it strange that Emma’s house stirred those feelings in me.

  There were three people already in the living room. Luce. An old man on the couch. And a woman who I assumed to be Emma’s mom. She sat in a recliner that seemed made for her. She was thin and her skin pale. I could tell that she’d lost her hair by the way she wore a scarf over her head.

  Had the cancer spread? How far into treatments was she? Would she die?

  “This is Caleb.” Emma introduced me. She had her hand firmly in mine, and I was thankful for that. “This is my Pop—Dean. My mom—Bonnie. And... you know Luce.”

  So no dad. No grandma. It occurred to me, and I felt ashamed for never having asked, that Emma didn’t have any siblings either. “Hi,” I said simply. I wasn’t the best at social situations.

  The air felt thick with awkward tension. They all gave me the impression they all weren’t too thrilled to have me here. Well, fuck. I sat down with Emma on the loveseat. She curled into my side, like she was twice as terrified as I was.

  “You have a nice home,” I commented. “And thank you for the invitation.” My own mother would be disappointed in me if I was anything but polite when meeting my girl’s family. My girl. I hadn’t thought of Emma like that before. I guess, after last night, I felt like she was my girl.

  “You must know...that we are all surprised,” Emma’s mom explained. “Only a few hours ago I thought Emma was still dating Nick. Bless him. He must be so brokenhearted over this. Have you heard from him since, Emma? I feel like we should send him cookies or something. Something to ease the pain he must be feeling.”

  So there it was.

  They liked Nick. And I’d replaced him. I didn’t know what to say to that.

  “She’s not going to bake him cookies, Bonnie,” Luce chuckled, shaking her head. “Emma has never baked cookies in her life.”

  Emma sat quiet at my side.

  “Well I thought cookies might be nice,” Bonnie commented.

  Emma’s grandfather cleared his throat. “Where are you from?” Pop asked me. “Tennessee? Your accent, it’s slight, but it sounds like Tennessee if I had to guess.”

  “Yes, sir. Originally from West Tennessee, close to Gatlinburg. I have land and a place outside Nashville now.”

  He smiled. “I drove a tractor-trailer for years. Passed through those places many times. Beautiful country.”

  “I think we all should eat now,” Luce interrupted. “Before it gets cold.”

  This is why I’d never met anyone’s family before. Because it was fucking terrifying.

  We went into the modest-sized dining room. The table was set nicely. Luce brought out some kind of casserole with piping hot steam wafting off the dish. She placed it in the middle of the table.

  Emma whispered under her breath, “I did not make that,” as we all took our seats.

  I soon learned it was vegetarian lasagna. I wasn’t even very keen on regular lasagna. Ever
yone ate it—hesitantly. I think Emma had mentioned something about being on a plant-based diet the day we’d gotten donuts together. I wished I had one of those donuts right now. Because—good Lord, were they trying to kill me? It had to be the nastiest thing I had ever tasted.

  I finished my plate, though. And I had made a decent effort to not grimace.

  Everyone was quiet as we finished. “Thank you for dinner, that was very nice,” I offered Bonnie.

  “Pop made the dinner. He’s becoming quite the cook. I have to excuse myself.” Bonnie stood. “My medicine makes me tired. So I need to rest now.”

  Emma stood to go with her.

  “I’m fine, Emma, stay.”

  A moment after she left, Luce stood, without comment, and left.

  Okay then.

  “Sorry about the meal,” Pop apologized. “I’m still learning how to cook plant-based. It’s not easy.”

  “It was great,” Emma told him.

  “You kids want to go out to the shed and sneak some snacks from the secret stash?”

  The shed. Emma’s art. I had forgotten about her bottle-cap fish creations she’d told me about weeks ago. I desperately wanted to go out to the shed now. I needed to see her work. It might be the silver lining to this whole meal.

  “The secret stash is just potato chips.” Emma’s hands started to fidget with her napkin. Did she not want me to go?

  I stood from my chair. “I love potato chips.”

  She didn’t leave her seat. “We could stop at the store on the drive to Carova,” she told me, her face pleading with me to drop this. “The ones in the shed are probably old and moldy.”

  “They aren’t old and moldy,” Pop argued.

  “A little mold never hurt anyone,” I added. “We should go to the shed.” I started grabbing plates off the table, wanting to help Pop clean up the dishes as fast as possible so we could go. There was no chance in hell I was leaving her house without seeing that shed.

  Emma moved now.

  She stopped fidgeting and fighting me, and she stood to help me get the dishes going. Pop, I immediately realized, was only slowing us down, so I told him to go sit down. “Don’t worry about the dishes, Pop, we got them. Go relax.”

  I think he saw how serious I was, or he wanted to give us our space because he left the kitchen. “Thank you for helping, kids. I’ll be in the living room if you need me. Nice meeting you, Caleb.”

  “Nice meeting you too,” I told him. I think at least Pop likes me, I thought as he left. Then I went back to focusing on the dishes. Once we finished, Emma led me outside and to the shed in the corner of her backyard. The grass was thick with weeds. The old shed was half rotted, looking like it might collapse at any moment.

  Before the dishes she seemed hesitant. But she was less reluctant now. She grabbed the handles to the shed door. “Okay, I know my art is weird. Don’t laugh.”

  “I would never laugh.”

  “Okay, well—”

  “Just open the door, Emma,” I said softly. I touched the small of her back. “I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side.”

  “Okay, here goes.” She opened the doors with a giant whoosh. Then she felt for the light switch on the inside wall.

  My mouth dropped open.

  Her work... it was fucking amazing.

  ~ CHAPTER 35 ~

  EMMA

  The whole evening had been somewhat of a disaster. Mom and Luce—neither of them had been friendly. They’d both been cold as ice toward Caleb. Toward Nick, the two of them used to gush like he was some celebrity in their house. When they had a real-life, actual celebrity in the house you’d think they would have been a little nicer.

  Oh, and the lasagna. I was so mortified by how awful it tasted. Pop had been trying so hard to make decent plant-based recipes lately, but this one had been terrible. Caleb had eaten it. I had to give him credit for that.

  I couldn’t help but compare Caleb to Nick all night. As much as I liked Caleb, Nick was so much better with my family. He was a natural at it. Then Pop mentioned the shed. Caleb must have remembered my art because he wasn’t giving up about it. I didn’t want to show him. I wanted to call it a night. I wanted to leave with him for Carova. I knew I’d feel better the second we were alone again.

  But then Caleb did something that absolutely floored me.

  He stood and started helping with the dishes. Without being asked. As if it were second nature for him. For as perfect as everyone thought Nick was, he never once helped with the dishes after dinner. Pop gave me a look, telling me he noticed and was appreciative of it.

  It was something so simple. But it hit me hard, like a semi-truck in the chest. Caleb had been polite all evening. He wasn’t as naturally charismatic as Nick, but he was here.

  Luce told me to test him. And so far, he’d passed with flying colors. I shouldn’t have compared him to Nick. Not even once tonight.

  So I showed him the shed.

  I showed him a piece of me I hadn’t shown anyone else. The only reason Pop knew my art in the shed existed was because I didn’t know how to use power tools prior to starting, and I’d needed his help.

  I opened the doors. Turned on the light. And held my breath.

  Caleb walked in past me. He crossed his arms over his chest, narrowed his eyes, and started inspecting my work. I had four pieces finished. And a few almost finished. “These are amazing. There’s so much detail.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m impressed. Seriously, Emma, you’re very talented.” He kneeled down. He ran his fingers over the bottle-caps on the biggest fish I’d made, my most recent and my favorite so far. “Can you tell me how you make them?”

  I knelt down beside him. The one he was studying was only a few bottle-caps short of being finished. It was propped against the wall, four feet tall by six feet wide.

  “It starts with the back board.” I knocked on the wood to which all the little pieces of the fish were nailed. “I use repurposed wood. People are always tearing down their old decks around here and having them replaced. So wood is easy to find. I’ve got to cut the boards, sand the boards, stain the boards, and finally cover them with several coats of poly. Then I use cross beams on the back to hold everything together. Once I’m finished making the back, I can finally start designing the fish.” I pointed at all the buckets of bottle-caps, sorted by color, that I had lined up against the opposite wall. “It’s kind of like a mosaic. Sometimes finding the right piece is hard.”

  Caleb took my face in my hands without warning, and he kissed me.

  Shocked, I froze.

  His lips were hot, his beard rough, and his hands gentle. This kiss broke our usual protocol because he lingered longer. Instead of one quick peck before moving away, he stayed. He freaking stayed! His lips pressed against mine again. And then again. And my heart went off like a wild stampede under my ribs because of it. After a moment of sweet gentle kisses, he deepened our kiss with a simple probe of his tongue. For the first time, I got to taste him. He tasted like pure sex on a stick. The same feeling that flooded my veins every time I watched him sing, was somehow recreated in his kiss.

  I dug my fingers into his hair, holding on tight. He was a drug, the best kind, and I wanted more. He made me need things I’d never really needed before. At least not on this level. He made me want to rip all his clothes off, just so I could get closer to him.

  He broke away entirely too soon.

  I was practically panting I was breathing so hard.

  And I was a little angry with him for stopping so soon.

  “Holy crap,” he muttered. Then he wasted no time kissing me again. It was like he couldn’t stand being apart from me either. This time his kiss was deeper…and greedier. I felt it all the way down to my toes. He leaned into me, his arms around me, and he brought my body down to the floor. The cement under me was hard and cold, but I hardly cared.

  I wanted more than a kiss from him.

  I wanted to feel him inside
me.

  I’d never been so desperate for anything in my life. I never knew I had these sorts of intense desires burning inside me. I knew Caleb felt the same. Because he moved off of me, helping me to my feet, and he said, “we should go. Right now.”

  I completely agreed.

  “If it’s for sale, I want to buy that fish from you. I want to hang it in my bedroom in my home in Tennessee. But we can figure that out later.”

  He took my hand and he led me out of the shed. I nearly had to jog to keep his pace. “You want to buy my fish?” I called after him.

  “Yes.”

  “I could give it to you.”

  “No, I want to buy it.” He led me around the house, to the front where his Hummer was parked. He slowed only once we’d reached the car. “Do you need to say goodbye to your family? I would go inside, but I’m not in the right state of mind for conversation with anyone but you this minute.” He pressed his forehead to mine but didn’t kiss me again.

  “I can just text them.” Mom was probably in bed already anyway. Pop wouldn’t be far behind her. And Luce... I’d already told Luce where I was staying tonight. Surprise, surprise, she hadn’t approved.

  He opened the passenger side door. I stepped up inside the massive vehicle. Butterflies swirled at my stomach because I knew that kiss in the shed was only a preview of what was coming next.

  Caleb walked around the car for his door. He climbed inside and started the engine.

  He started driving. But we didn’t make it very far.

  I thought Caleb was taking me back to his house in Carova, but he stopped in the driveway of a house only a block from mine. It was one I’d been to so many times I knew every inch of the inside like it was my own. It was one of the houses I helped clean in the summer months. Why the hell would he bring me here?

  ~ CHAPTER 36 ~

  CALEB

  The second I kissed Emma, I was not in control. Not even a little bit. I knew there’d been a reason I was hesitant to kiss her, to fully kiss her. And this was it. Because once I started, once I opened that door, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t be gentle. I couldn’t control myself. It felt like she was the air in my lungs, and I needed more of her to breathe.