I had her on her back, on top of her, in a dirty shed, with the only light above us making a buzzing sound, and the smell of polyurethane making my head swirl, within a matter of seconds.
This cannot happen here.
That thought was the only thing driving me. I can’t even remember half the words that had come out of my mouth as I stood up, pulled her off the floor, and led her to my car.
The new rental house I’d booked wasn’t far. I’d purposely picked the closest place to Emma’s house that I could find. When I booked it, I hadn’t planned on using it like this. But now, as I pulled up in the driveway of the new house, I had no intention of holding back.
“Why have you brought me here?” Emma asked.
She didn’t sound particularly happy about it. Under the glow of the evening light, she stared down at her hands, avoiding my eyes.
I wanted to reach across the space between us and grab her hand, pull her to me, kiss her lips, to take us back to the close place we’d been just minutes before, but now I was terrified to touch her all over again. “Because Carova is too far to keep running back and forth. I want more time with you. This seemed like a good enough solution until I could figure out something more permanent. Why, is there something wrong with this place?” It was tiny in comparison to the Carova place. But I figured that kind of thing wouldn’t matter to Emma.
“I... I don’t want to stay here,” she said in a small, shaky voice. “I don’t want my first time to be here.”
Shit. I fucked up. I hadn’t meant to give her the impression that I only wanted to get laid. “Emma—the only thing I want tonight is you next to me in bed. Period. I might have lost control in the shed. Because seeing you talk so passionately about your work is so damn sexy, I couldn’t think straight. But I’m not just bringing you here to fuck you. I’m bringing you here because...” I groaned. I was butchering my words.
I squeezed the steering wheel as tightly as I could, dropping my head against it. It was hard to tell her exactly how I felt when I didn’t fully understand it myself.
“Would you rather I took you home?”
My heart felt like it was on the verge of shattering. I’d do it. I’d take her home. I’d do whatever she wanted. But leaving her tonight would not be easy.
She softly touched my shoulder, and I looked up.
“It’s not you. I just hate that house.” She nodded forward. “I’ve been cleaning that house once a week since I was fourteen. I’m a maid. I’m only a maid, Caleb.”
She seemed embarrassed by this, like this fact somehow made her unworthy of me.
I breathed out, trying not to get angry.
“I don’t care if you’re a maid or a waitress or whatever. Underneath, I’m just a redneck kid from a poor town in Tennessee. Would you have noticed me if I wasn’t Caleb Mills of Sunset Revival? Because I would have noticed you any-fucking-where. Under any job title or circumstance.”
“Yes. I would have.” She clicked off her seatbelt. “You know what, I changed my mind. Let’s go inside.”
I couldn’t argue with her because she was out of the car before I could even open my mouth. I followed her. Because, yeah, I’d follow her anywhere. But I wasn’t sure if going inside was the best idea.
Outside the car, she pulled on my hand, leading me to the lower-level door where she entered in a six-digit code. Well, damn. I didn’t even need my key.
The door opened, and she tugged me inside the house. The second we were on the other side, she had her hands around my neck pulling my face to hers.
I was somewhat apprehensive.
A moment ago she’d said she hated this house. Now we were inside it. Not only that, in the pale glow of the moonlight, Emma stared up at me like she wanted me between her thighs. Immediately. No fucking around. Seriously, she looked turned-the-hell on. And I loved it. I loved seeing her like this. Her cheeks were flushed, her pupils dilated, and her eyes so intently on mine. She was a force of nature. I knew that look on a woman all too well.
But seeing that look on Emma... nearly dropped me to my fucking knees.
My mind went blank. I couldn’t remember what I’d being thinking before she looked at me like that. I was so hard. My cock swelled against the confines of my jeans. I couldn’t move. I knew if I tried to speak my voice would come out hoarse and choppy. She kissed the corner of my mouth and it felt like she had her lips directly on my cock.
I was only human.
This girl was my kryptonite.
I had my mouth on hers so fast, the world swirled. I hoisted her up in my arms, wrapped her legs around my waist, had my hands tight on her ass, as I started making love to her mouth.
Kissing her again was easy... natural... right.
She smelled so damn good, she felt so good, and once again, I could feel my control slipping away. I needed to reign myself in. I needed to dig deep and keep this slow. Because otherwise I’d be shoving inside her in only a matter of minutes. And I couldn’t have that tonight. Not here. Not in this house she hated. But she tugged my shirt lose from my jeans. She slipped her hands under the material, softly running her fingers over my waist. Feeling, touching, exploring. Her hands moved higher up my chest. Things were crazy while we were on tour, but I always tried to keep my physique a priority. Being in the spotlight constantly, it was a necessity. I think, for the first time, Emma noticed.
Her hands felt amazing, running over my skin, tracing lines. Then this small gasp left her mouth when she reached metal. I had one of my nipples pierced, a simple barbell through the middle. The result of a drunken night and a dare from Ollie years ago. Her breathing changed a little against my mouth, telling me how much she liked it.
I kissed her deeper, my tongue slipping against hers, and I backed her body against the closest wall. She rolled the piercing in her fingers. Shit, it felt amazing. That was the shove I needed to compose myself and stop this before it went too far.
With a heavy sigh, I quit kissing her.
It was about the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.
~ CHAPTER 37 ~
EMMA
Caleb broke his lips from mine and set me down on the floor. His strong fingers circled around my wrists, and he held my hands captive in the space between our bodies. He wasn’t hurting me, but he also wasn’t letting me go. Pressed against him, my restrained hands could feel the hardness of his erection, just millimeters away, under his jeans, so I knew how much he wanted me. I could also see the pain on his face. But why was he stopping this?
“I don’t want to lose control,” he muttered, as if reading my mind.
Judging from the way Caleb kisses, the way he had me up in his arms, the way his hands were locked around my wrists right this moment—I knew these things were tastes of a rougher side of him that I had yet to meet. All I’d seen of him, when we weren’t kissing, was so kind and gentle. Maybe he was hiding a side to himself that was a bit... dirtier? I wasn’t sure. I might have been scared if he were anyone else. But it was him. I felt only intrigue. I wanted to keep pushing until I saw all of his sides.
I tried to move to kiss him again. But his grip tightened, and his lips were out of my reach.
“Caleb. It’s okay,” I told him.
He exhaled through his nose.
“I want you to take my virginity.” Heat crept over my skin as I said it. But it was the truth. I’d never wanted anyone more than I wanted him. “I want you inside me.”
His fingers tightened a little more around my wrists. He moved my hands, positioning them above my head, and he pinned them in place against wall. He shifted so that only one of his hands held both of my wrists. His other hand was free to do whatever it wanted.
Caleb was strong, strong enough that I wouldn’t have been able to break free of his grip unless he wanted me to. Even now, the tightness around my wrists was becoming painful.
“Do you know what you’re asking?”
He pressed his lips along the edge of my jaw. With tiny kisses, he
moved down my neck. I couldn’t think. Or speak. Or remember my own name. His beard scrapped against my skin, and my mouth dropped open at how amazing the contrast of rough and gentle felt. Caleb’s free hand was on the edge of my pants. I felt his fingers run over the button of my jeans. For a moment I thought this was it. That we’d have sex. Right here, right against this wall. I wanted it to happen. My body screamed for it.
“I plan on taking your virginity, my Emma,” he said against my skin. “I promise I will be the first man inside you. The only man you’ll compare everything else to for the rest of your life. But it’s not going to happen tonight. Not here. Not in this house you hate.”
I tried not to feel disappointed as he dropped my hands and stepped a full foot away from me. He’d left me shaky, needy, and desperate for more. All I wanted was to pounce him. Would that be rude? If I pushed him to the ground and begged him to finish what he’d started? He had just called me “my Emma.” That was new. I wondered if he’d meant to say my name like that or if it had been a slip in our heated moment.
“There’s something I want to show you,” I said, needing a distraction. “One spot in this house I don’t hate. Come on.”
I moved for the first flight of stairs.
He hesitated, sighing, but then he followed.
The middle level had the kitchen, living room, and one master. As we passed through, I could tell he’d already been to the house today. He’d gone shopping as there were some fruit and bread on the counter. I noticed the same duffle bag he’d had at the hotel in Richmond on the floor.
I led him up the next staircase. Majority of the bedrooms were on this top level. One of the bedrooms had an additional staircase in the corner. It was rod-iron and spiral.
I flipped on a light and started up this final staircase.
“What’s this?” he asked, watching me from the base.
“It’s a reading room. I think that’s what they call it. I don’t know, but it’s the only room I like in this house.”
The reading room wasn’t a room you could stand up in. Only sit. It had windows on all four sides and was built straight out of the roof. If a hurricane ever came through this part of North Carolina, which they did sometimes, and directly hit this house, I was certain it would tear this glass box straight off the roof.
It had a wooden floor, cushions for seats, and a clear view over the dunes of the ocean.
I’d never been up here at night. I wasn’t sure if anything would be visible in the dark. “Can you turn off the light?” I called down to Caleb before he started his climb.
He did as I asked.
Then his steps were slow and hesitant on the iron. I scooted over to the far side of the box so he could fit with me. This space wasn’t meant for more than one or two people. Through the darkness, he climbed in to sit beside me.
“Shit,” he cursed softly. He tugged his hands through his hair. I noticed the moon outside the windows was full. Its glow gave me enough light to see all the tension on his face. Was he hot up here? I reached over to crack one of the windows. They opened strangely, slanting at the top so a person couldn’t fall out.
“What’s the furthest you’ve ever been with a guy?” Caleb wanted to know.
I pulled my knees to my chest, the breeze from the window was a little chilly. Why did he want to know this? He already knew I was a virgin and that I hadn’t let anyone before him see my chest. Couldn’t he guess the rest?
“About as far as things went downstairs,” I admitted.
“How is that possible?”
Nick always had this same question too.
I shrugged. “Look at me. In high school I had freckles, frizzy curly hair, and braces. Not many guys are into all that.”
“I would have been. I would have noticed you then, too. You’re not someone I could have ever missed.”
I believed him. I really did. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips because of it. I wasn’t quite as dorky anymore, I knew that. But when Caleb looked at me, I felt sexy in a way I never had before. “And then between my jobs and my mom’s cancer, I just never dated much.”
“I’ll be right back.”
He disappeared down the opening, leaving me. Had I said something wrong? A minute or two passed before he came back. He had some pillows and blankets in his arms. He tossed them into the space beside me.
Then he crawled in too and started taking off his shoes. When he finished removing them from his feet, he dropped them down the opening. They clattered against the metal stairs. Next, he unbuttoned his jeans and shimmied them off, chucking them down as well. He was left in only his shirt and boxer-briefs. I noticed a bulge at the front of his underwear. He was hard. Substantially hard. And my mouth went dry because of it.
“Take yours off too,” he instructed.
What? Okay. I didn’t question him. I did as he asked. He started shuffling around the blankets and pillows as I took off my shoes, then pants. He acted like he was too busy to pay attention to me. But I saw his eyes on me a couple times. Each look made my heart race faster.
By the time we both finished our tasks, I was shaking a little. Maybe from the cold. Maybe from anticipation. He’d made a small bed, of sorts. He peeled the covers back and moved under them. So he planned to sleep up here? That was it?
He was waiting for me to join him. So I crawled into his little bed and curled into his side. He wrapped his arms and then his legs around me. There wasn’t enough room to stretch out.
I loved this. I loved being this close to him. I loved feeling his body surrounding mine. I could feel his heartbeat against my back—it was racing. I could feel his erection—it was pushing against my backside.
Just cuddling with me was turning him on.
But he wasn’t acting on it. I knew bringing him up here would be romantic. And it was, with the moon shining down on us, and the soft sounds of the ocean coming in through the window. I knew it would separate us from the rest of the house. I wanted all those things he’d promised me. I wanted them tonight. Why wait? I’d already waited twenty-two years for this. If Caleb had already slept around with tons of other women in his past, sometimes more than one at a time, why was he being so careful with me?
“I want you to touch me,” I whispered, pressing a slow kiss to his forearm. “Please. I need this. I need you. You can take whatever you want from me.”
~ CHAPTER 38 ~
CALEB
Emma felt so fucking amazing in my arms. Her small, warm body pressed flush against my own. She smelled sweet, like vanilla. I had my face buried in the curve between her neck and her shoulder, breathing her intoxicating scent in as deeply as I could, never wanting to move from this spot again.
She was doing her damnedest to tempt me. Bringing me up here. Kissing any inch of my skin she could reach. Which was only my forearms at the moment since I wasn’t allowing her anymore space to explore further. I held her locked in place against me, but I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle before I gave in to her.
I made a promise that I would be her first. And I fully intended to keep that promise. But the truth was, I wanted more than her first. I didn’t want her to compare me to anyone else because I didn’t want there to be anyone else to compare to. I wanted it all—to be her only. That thought was right up there in my mind, clouding everything else. I’d never felt so strongly for anyone. I told the girl in the rain I loved her all those years ago. So if that was love, then what was this? Because this was surpassing that in every way. It was terrifying. I spiraled into darkness after Rebecca left me. If I lost Emma too, I don’t think I’d come back from something like that.
But I was no fool.
I wasn’t about to let any moment with Emma go to waste. I released her from my confining hold only so I could sit up. Fisting my hands around the material of my shirt at my shoulders, I yanked it up and over my head. I tossed it aside. Then I pushed my boxer-briefs down, kicking them off, letting my cock spring free.
It was Emma�
�s turn. I inched up her shirt. She raised her elbows, helping me along, as I pulled it over her head. Her eyes were on me, searching for something. Maybe for me to ease the ache between her legs. I’d get there, I just needed one moment to get her naked. I figured since she’d already shown me her chest, it was safe to remove her bra. So I removed it too.
Her soft, naked curves were fucking perfection. I wasn’t worthy of her. I never would be. But I would spend every one of my hours for the rest of my life trying to be. It hurt me knowing some doctor would have to mutilate her beautiful tits one day. But I didn’t want to think about that tonight. Time would stand still for us tonight.
I kissed her mouth—hard and hungry. Any shred of self-control I’d been trying to grasp at all evening was gone. I pushed her back on the blankets, positioning myself between her legs. The only thing separating us was the thin layer of her panties. She tried to reach between our bodies, to put her hands on my cock, but I wouldn’t allow it. I broke our kiss and moved her hands above her head, pinning them there the same way I’d pinned them above her downstairs against the wall. If I’d had something to tie her hands… but I had nothing, so I squeezed a little tighter, ensuring she wouldn’t be able to move.
“Caleb, you’re hurting me,” she whispered.
Immediately, I let her hands go. I hadn’t meant to hurt her. I would never hurt her.
She settled her hands on my chest. “Why don’t you want me to touch you?” she asked, her voice a little shaky.
I hovered above her. Why didn’t I? I guess I’d gotten so used to sex where I was the one in control. Where I decided when and where and how. And because I was Caleb Mills, women just let me have my way. Emma, for as innocent as she was, wasn’t as compliant. “You’re right,” I breathed, realizing for the first time that I had this pattern with women. I dropped my forehead against hers. “You can touch me. Wherever you’d like.”
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