by C. C. Piper
I pressed myself against her back. I let her feel my erection through my pants. “Have you ever seen a man naked?”
She shook her head.
“Have you touched a man? In any way?”
Another head shake.
“Have you kissed a man?”
She didn’t shake her head, but hesitated.
“You may answer.”
“Once. When I was sixteen.”
“Nothing else happened?”
“No. Nothing.”
She was completely untouched. This was more than I’d hoped for, though if she’d never truly been kissed, never made out, never felt a man’s body with her hands, then I’d have to be more careful than I’d anticipated.
I turned her back toward me. “Let’s get that first kiss out of the way.” I put my hands on the side of her face and tilted her head. I pressed my lips against hers. She opened for me, letting me guide her and control the kiss. Her mouth was cool and she tasted of spearmint. I deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with my tongue.
I didn’t think I could get more aroused, until she moaned — a sweet, genuine sound. The sound of someone who wanted this. I had to pull back, or I’d be finding myself too close to completion just from kissing.
I backed us both up, and sat down in one of the wingback chairs in my room. I tugged at her arms. “Sit. Straddle me.”
She listened, pulling one leg up over my lap and then the other.
Having her sit like that opened her legs for me. Letting me see all of her most private places, the places no one else had seen, the places no one else had touched. It also put her perfect breasts close to my face.
I tugged her closer until she was pressed against my erection.
“Do you feel that?”
A nod.
“I’m hard. Because of you.” I put my hand on her backside and tugged her closer, letting her sex rub across my erection. “Do you like that?”
She nodded and flushed again, this time a deeper red than the earlier pink.
I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked.
Her head fell back. She moaned again. She sounded like she wanted this. I placed one hand on her backside, keeping her securely in my lap. I dipped one hand between her legs. She was wet with arousal. She moaned again, deeper.
I pushed my finger inside her, rubbing, back and forth.
She moved against me, and my pants became damp, with my own arousal and with hers. I released her breast and pulled my hand away from her body. Again, I found myself too close to finishing.
“We’re moving to the bed.”
I lifted her and carried her, lying her flat on the bed. I traced my hand over her peachy cream skin.
I wouldn’t restrain her yet. She wasn’t ready. I needed her to trust me first. “Arms above your head. Spread your legs.”
She obeyed.
I pushed my finger back inside her, gently, taking care to remember that no man had ever touched her here. “I’m the first man to see you like this.”
She nodded.
I crawled onto the bed and lowered my mouth between her legs.
Her delicate folds tasted sweet. Clean.
As I licked her body, she thrashed.
“Be still.” I wanted her still so I could look at her, but I was thankful that she was enjoying this, and reacting, not lying motionless like a statue.
She quit moving, but she was panting.
I found that I wanted to spank her. Not as punishment, but for pleasure. Just her, flipped over my lap, with my hand against her bare bottom. But she wasn’t ready.
As I curved my finger inside her, she climaxed. Her back arched. Her inner walls tightened, moving against my finger.
I gave her a few minutes to recover, admiring her body lying against my black bedspread.
After a few minutes, she opened her eyes. She met my gaze. “You may speak,” I said.
“What now?” she asked. Her voice was quiet.
I returned to sit in the chair we’d been using earlier. The height would make it easier on her.
I pointed at the floor. “Kneel.” I motioned toward the bed. “You may use a pillow from the bed. Use your hand to touch me. You won’t use your mouth tonight.” Having her use her mouth on me would come soon enough.
She dropped a pillow on the floor and knelt.
“Unbutton my pants.” She complied. “Now use your hand. Like this.” I demonstrated for her how I wanted to be touched.
Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, but she took my hard length in her delicate hand. She slid her hand up and down. “Tighten your grip.” Her hand on me was bringing me closer than I’d expected.
“Arch your back.” I liked seeing her breasts pressed forward. It made her nipples brush across the fabric of my pants.
I took one last glance at her hand sliding up and down and I was done. I threw my head back and groaned. Luckily I’d stashed a towel under the chair and I used it to clean myself up. Satisfied in a way I never had been before, I buttoned my pants.
Chrissy still knelt on the floor. Her head was bowed. She hadn’t moved. She hadn’t spoken.
“Is something wrong?”
She didn’t lift her head. “No.”
“Look at me. And don’t lie to me.”
She raised her head and met my eyes, just barely.
“I feel a little off,” she said.
“Off.” What the hell did she mean by that? “Why?”
“I’m not sure. I feel a little uneasy.”
“It was your first sexual experience. You’re bound to have some mixed emotions.”
Mixed emotions? Was that all? Why wasn’t she happy? What the hell had been wrong with it? What did I have to do to find someone who could handle what I wanted?
The last thing I needed was for her to post on social media and claim that I’d strong-armed her into this. She had not been forced. Why couldn’t she be happy?
It had been amazing for me. Exactly what I wanted. And yet she’d hated it.
I wanted to dismiss her. To send her on her way immediately so I didn’t have to look at her or deal with any fall out. But that would be asinine. Sending a young woman away after her first encounter like this was asking for something to go wrong. Very wrong. And I didn’t want to examine it too closely, but I also wanted her there.
I could tell myself it was for her comfort only.
Right.
I held my hand out to her. “Up.”
She placed her hand in mine and rose to her feet.
“Follow me.”
Still holding onto her hand, I led her across the room to my bed. I yanked the covers back. She was the first woman who’d been to my home. And now I was letting her lie in my bed against my better judgment, and even though she felt off after our time together.
I pointed at the sheets. “Lie down.”
“Why?”
“Are you supposed to be asking questions?”
She shook her head.
I found, to my immense irritation, that I wanted to answer her. I was not interested in self-examination. Nor did I have time to stop and ponder my motivation.
If I wanted her in my bed, then that’s all she needed to know.
She had better stick this out.
She lay against the pillows, stiffly at first. As I began to unbutton my shirt, she relaxed. “What?”
“I was wondering if you’d join me.”
What did it look like I was doing? I wanted to snap at her, but I held my tongue.
I draped my shirt over the foot of the bed, and removed my pants as well. I left on my undershirt and boxers. I took of my new Rolex watch and placed it on the bedside table.
As I joined her in bed, she naturally seemed to snuggle into my side. I slipped my arm under her shoulders and she rolled to her side, placing her head on my chest.
Was it possible she’d reached sub-space? I didn’t think it was possible with what we’d done. And she hadn’t said she felt floaty, just uneasy.
Maybe she’d dropped immediately because she was so inexperienced.
“Even though we didn’t have sex, it was your first experience. You shouldn’t be alone. After more intense encounters, the dominant partner usually spends an hour or two with the submissive, even if they don’t live together.”
“Hmm. Sounds nice,” she murmured.
I relished the feeling of her body against mine. I wanted her to stay all night. I wanted this trial to work.
She slept against me for two hours. Now I needed some time to myself to process. I also didn’t want to come to depend on her sleeping in my bed, especially if she wasn’t going to stick around. I got up and collected her clothes. I laid them flat for her on the end of the bed.
“Hey.” I laid back down next to her and nudged her with my elbow. “Time to wake up.
She stretched and seemed to realize she wasn’t alone in bed. “Richard,” she whispered, but she didn’t sound upset.
I liked hearing my name on her lips.
I was already in too deep.
I moved from the bed and got dressed in my dress shirt and suit pants. I didn’t want to create too informal of an atmosphere so early on.
“I have a car waiting on you downstairs. The driver will take you back to your apartment for tonight.” I lay an envelope next to her on the bed. I had given her more than was required by the Wish Maker, but I didn’t want her to suffer because she’d been with me instead of working. Already, the thought of her going hungry was distressing to me.
“Here’s your check. And here’s five hundred in cash.” I took a step back. “I’ve laid your clothes out.”
She sat up sleepily. It was really cute. But I would never admit that.
“For me, tonight was a success. You submitted well, and if you are willing, you may move in tomorrow.”
To my relief, she nodded. “I felt like it was a success as well.”
“I’ll send for you tomorrow. You may being any of your belongings that you choose, but I’ll have a room here for you with everything you need.”
My thoughts were jumbled, more so than they’d been since I’d become an adult. Chrissy was exactly what I wanted. But I wasn’t sure she understood what she was getting into. I always tried to be brutally honest with myself, and the truth was that she was not here because she wanted to submit. She was here because she needed the money to save her little sister.
I had kept our interactions deliberately simple tonight.
What would happen when we delved into the darker side of my desires?
9
Chrissy
As soon I was inside my apartment, I headed for the shower. I wanted every trace of makeup off my face, and I wanted the gel out of my hair.
I still smelled like Richard; his cologne still clung to my skin, but the scent of him all over my body didn’t bother me at all.
And that was the strangest part of all.
I was shocked at myself, how much I’d liked hearing his words, and having his hands on my body.
The few times I’d thought about having sex, I’d imagined that I’d kiss a man in the dark, and we’d undress and then I’d lie down and we’d finish together in the missionary position. It was very much a traditional outlook.
Richard’s way was nothing I ever expected. But I wanted to do it again.
As soon as I was out of the shower, Lily banged on my door. She must have heard the water running. I ran to the door, still in my towel.
“How’s Bella? Is something wrong?” I felt guilty for not being with my sister. But securing money for her treatment had to take precedence.
“No, she’s good. Asleep for the night.” Lily dropped onto my couch. “Are you okay? I didn’t expect you to still be up.”
I felt terrible lying to Lily. She thought I’d been out looking for another evening job to replace the one I’d lost.
I should have known Lily would notice something was up. But there was no way I could tell her. I was forbidden, for one thing, by the contracts I’d signed. They didn’t allow me to say anything about Richard until after the trial was over. And I was never to mention the club, under any circumstances. “I’m just worried about Bella.”
“I know you are. This is scary.” Lily’s eyes studied me. I’m sure she knew more was going on. “Is there something else? Did you lose your job at the Sweet Lime Café too?”
“No. My boss there has been really great.” It was underhanded, but there was one sure way to distract Lily, and that was to talk about my mother. “No one’s contacted my mother yet. About Bella being sick.”
“Does she need to know?”
During the long initial wait at the hospital, I had talked to the social worker, who’d called our DHS caseworker. “The caseworker said it would be best if we let her know. She still has some rights. I’m her guardian, but my mother is still Bella’s legal parent. If we can show that she didn’t visit Bella, didn’t sign any paperwork, didn’t provide for her in any way, then I might have a case to terminate her rights.”
“And what would that mean?”
“That she’s nothing to Bella. Legally, Bella wouldn't be her child anymore. I could petition to adopt her. I haven’t tried it before, because there was the chance that my mom would try to regain custody. Or that the caseworker would say that my mother’s rights should be terminated, but that Bella would be better off in foster care. I couldn't risk it.”
“But now you’re ready?”
“Yes. Now that I’m twenty, I’ve been providing for her for three years. I think it’s our best option.”
Lily broke into a smile. She loved Bella almost as much as I did, and I was eternally grateful for her support. “That sounds like a good plan.”
“Terminating her rights is huge. Bella won’t like it — she still thinks we can save our mother.” I rubbed my face, which was dry from scrubbing the makeup off with regular soap. I’d have to buy some real makeup remover and some of the fancy lotion Lauren had put on my face at the club if I was going to wear makeup every day for Richard.
I never wore makeup. If Lily had seen it on my face, she’d have known something was up.
Although if I started paying our bills without finding another job, she’d have plenty of questions as to how that was possible. Maybe I could tell her I was auditioning for a strip club. Although because she was aware of my wariness toward men, she’d find that hard to believe. I tried to picture the look on her face if I told her I was pole dancing naked.
Then I sobered. Imagine if she knew what I’d done tonight. It wasn’t a far cry from stripping. It just happened to be for one man instead of several.
It probably wasn’t fair to compare Richard to a random patron in a strip club. He had been fair and respectful, and he had listened to me.
“If my mother refuses to participate in Bella’s medical care, we might even get an emergency hearing and speed things up.”
“Wow. That’s a lot to deal with at once.”
“It is. But we’ll get through it.” I reached over and hugged Lily tight. “Thank you for staying with Bella tonight.”
“Anytime,” Lily said. “I’ll let you get to bed.”
Lily went back to her apartment, and I gave myself a pep talk. I needed to call my mother. I wanted to get it over with, and I’d be using the new smartphone Richard had given me. When I’d gotten home and gone to shower, I’d found the smartphone tucked in my purse with a note that the phone was mine to keep.
Which made my life a whole lot easier, because I needed to record this conversation. So I’d call my mother on my flip phone, and use the smartphone to record. I was sure there was a way to do both on the smartphone, but I didn’t want my mother to have that number.
Absolute dread. That’s what I felt at the prospect of calling my mother. After I recorded the conversation, I’d type it up, word for word, and give the transcript to Bella’s caseworker.
I pushed the call button.
Surprisingly enough, our mother answer
ed. “Christina! Wanna come over?”
Nausea washed over me at the sound of her voice. She was in full-on party mode.
“No, I can’t come over. Mother, I need to talk to you. Bella is very sick. She’s in the hospital. I need to see you in person — there are some medical papers you need to look at.”
“Right. Now that she’s sick, you want to talk to me. You’re the one that wanted her. Always thought you knew best.” The sound of my mother’s laugh was high and cruel. “You deal with it.”
“I know you’re angry with me, but Bella hasn’t done anything wrong. She’d like it if you came to see her.”
“Didn’t you sit in front of God and everyone in that courtroom and say I was trash?”
“I didn’t say that you —” I had told the judge she was an unfit parent, not that she was trash. I hadn’t had the luxury of giving my mother chance after chance.
The call went dead.
My mother had hung up on me. It wasn’t the first time. As used to it as I was, it still hurt.
Now that I’d handled that, my thoughts turned back to my night with Richard. The intimacy had been amazing. I hadn’t imagined it would feel like that. But he was so remote. So distant. I didn’t mind his insistence on absolute submission — parts of me even liked it.
I’d always had to be in complete control of my life. I’d made every decision. It was nice to let him call the shots in the bedroom.
It seemed as though he was holding himself back. Not just with sex, but with who he was. I had the impression he wanted to speak several times, to share what he was thinking, but he wouldn’t allow himself. It would be difficult to be in a relationship, as unusual as it was, with someone so distant.
But I was committed. This is what I needed to do for my family. It was the right choice.
Unfortunately, my subconscious did not agree.
That night, I dreamed that my mother got custody of Bella. In the dream, the court bailiff tore her from my arms as we both screamed.
After that horror, I dreamed of Richard, and being pregnant with his baby. And him laughing and saying, “you’re just a whore. Why would I help you raise that baby?” I dreamed of having to care for an infant alongside Bella, who was still ill in the dream. My child, a little boy in the dream, asked over and over why his father didn’t want to see him. I didn’t have an answer for him.