by Kaylee Ryan
“Absolutely,” I say, happy to have a reason to be here. I reach into the diaper bag and pull out the camera. I snap a few shots; well, maybe more than a few. You can never have enough pictures.
“All right, I need to get this little one home. It’s almost time for her to eat.” Evan takes her from his gramps and kisses the top of her little head before placing her back in her seat.
We say our goodbyes and load back up to drive just a few hundred feet to Evan’s place. I text Mom on the short trip, asking her to come pick me up. I’m sure Evan doesn’t want me hanging around his first day home with his daughter.
“Mom’s on her way,” I tell him once we have carried everything inside.
“I can’t thank you enough, Kinley.”
“You’re welcome, and I wanted to.”
The sound of tires crunching gravel gets both of our attention. “I hope you’re ready to give her up, at least for a few minutes. Mom’s going to want to love on her.”
Evan smiles. “Yeah, I figured she would.” He looks down at the little pink bundle in his arms. “You ready for some Grandma Mills loving?” he asks her.
At first, I’m surprised he referred to my mom as grandma, but I shouldn’t be. Evan has practically grown up at our house and has always referred to my parents as his “second set.”
I make my way to the door and pull it open before she even has time to knock. “Is she sleeping?” Mom asks as she passes me to walk into the house. I can hear Evan chuckle in the other room. He obviously heard her.
I point toward the living room and Mom doesn’t waste any time as she heads that way. “Oh, Evan.” Her voice cracks. “Can I hold her?”
When I join them, Mom is sitting on the couch, Lexi in her arms as she unwraps her from her swaddle. “Ten fingers and ten toes, you’re such a cutie. Your daddy’s going to have his hands full with the boys when it comes to you,” she tells the baby.
Evan groans. “She’s not allowed to date.”
Mom laughs. “Oh, Evan, she’s going to date and you’re going to have to learn to deal with it. All you can do is give her the values and make sure she respects herself enough to make good decisions.”
“Or,” Evan says with a grin, “she can not date until she’s at least thirty.”
Mom focuses her attention back on Lexi. She offers the baby her finger and Lexi latches on. “You’re just going to have to wrap Daddy and Uncle Aaron around your finger. Don’t worry, Kinley and I will be there to guide you.” She laughs.
“Hey now.” Evan grins.
We spend the next half hour talking while Mom loves on Lexi. It’s me who finally suggests we head home. “Mom, you about ready to go?” I ask. She insisted she feed Lexi to give Evan a “break.”
“Oh, I guess we should let these two settle in.” She stands and hands Lexi back to Evan. “You call if you need anything,” she tells him with a pat to his cheek.
“Yes, ma’am. Kinley, I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for us.”
“I’m happy to help. Call me if you need anything. Oh, and I bought an adorable outfit for her newborn pictures. Mine will be way better than the hospitals. Maybe I can stop by tomorrow sometime?” I ask.
“We’ll be here,” he says with a smile.
Mom and I say our goodbyes then leave father and daughter alone for the first time.
Chapter 21
Evan
“It’s just you and me, kid,” I say to my daughter, who’s sleeping soundly in my arms. She doesn’t have a care in the world. If I get my way, she never will. I want to give her the world. Instead of putting her in her room, I place her in what Kinley calls a pack-n-play. She said I would need it if I take Lexi places with me, so she has a safe place to sleep. She also mentioned I would probably want her close when I first brought her home. Once again, she nailed it. I owe her so much.
Once I have Lexi settled, I unpack the bag Kinley brought to the hospital for me and start a load of laundry. I busy myself unpacking the formula samples the hospital gave me and then call my foreman, letting him know Lexi came a few weeks early and I’m going to need him to handle the crew and, well…everything for a few days. He and I had already talked about this, so the only surprise is that it’s a few weeks sooner than we discussed.
I do a few more things around the house as quiet as I can and she’s still sleeping. I’m glad I read all those books or I would be freaked out that something was wrong. Babies sleep a lot. Deciding I should try to catch a quick catnap, I stretch out on the couch and close my eyes. Just as I’m about to drift off, I feel my pocket vibrate.
Pulling out my phone, I see I have a text from Aaron.
Aaron: I’m at the door.
I pull my tired ass off the couch and go greet my best friend.
“Hey,” Aaron whispers when I open the door. “I didn’t wake her, did I? Kinley said she was probably sleeping.”
“Nah, she’s sleeping, but it’s all good. Come on in.” I step back to let him pass.
“I bet you’re glad to be home.”
“You have no idea,” I say, following him into the living room.
Aaron stops by the pack-n-play to peek in on my daughter. My daughter… it’s surreal she’s here.
“She’s a cutie, man. We’re going to have our hands full.” He softly chuckles.
That’s my best friend. Always there no matter what the situation. He automatically includes himself in the future of warding off horny boys from my baby girl. “I don’t even want to think about that yet.”
This causes Aaron to laugh and the sound startles Lexi. “Shit, man, I’m sorry,” he says before placing his hand over his mouth.
“Don’t be. I read that you need to not keep everything quiet so they will learn to sleep through everyday household noises. It didn’t wake her, so we’re all good.”
“Do you need anything?” he asks.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Kinley told me she refused to let you bring her home in your truck. She said you were going to be getting a new one. Any ideas of what you might get?”
“Honestly, man, I don’t know. I haven’t thought much about it. I know I need something more reliable. I might check out Dodge. I really like Kinley’s Durango.”
“Yeah, it’s sweet. I looked at Dodge before I bought mine, but decided I needed to stay a Ford man.”
“Yeah, I need to get that taken care of soon. I can’t keep Kinley’s Durango forever.”
“She’s in no rush. She works at home most of the time and I already told her if something comes up she can take my truck. I spend most of my days in the stables anyway.”
“Yeah, but it’s something I’ve been planning on. It would have been easier to do it without taking a newborn with me, but it is what it is.”
“Yeah. Have you heard from her? From Misty?”
“No. I don’t really think I will. It’s all on me, and I don’t regret it. I love that little girl, I can’t even express what it felt like to hear her cry for the first time.”
“That’s heavy stuff, bro. I’m happy as hell for you. I know nothing about babies or how to raise them, but I’m in your corner. Anything you need, I’m there.”
“Thanks, man. I’m not sure how truck shopping is going to go with a newborn, but I’m about to find out.”
“I’m sure Mom or Kinley would be happy to keep her.”
My chest tightens at the thought of being away from her. I just got her after months of worrying about Misty taking care of herself and praying my baby girl arrived healthy. Can I leave her?
“What’s that face?” Aaron chuckles. Fucker, he knows damn well what I’m thinking.
“Maybe I could convince Kinley to come with me,” I say. She could help me with Lexi and I wouldn’t have to leave her yet, although I know I’m going to need to eventually. Speaking of that, I need to arrange childcare too. I thought I had a few more weeks to get that all squared away. Yeah, I’m the boss, but I work the horses and cattle with
the rest of the crew, so not helping isn’t an option. I need to be out there with them, keeping my finger on the pulse of the operation.
Aaron laughs. “You know she will. All she and Mom talked about when Dad and I got in today was baby Lexi.”
“Yeah, they were both here for a while. Your mom fed her. She’s going to be after you to settle down, man,” I laugh.
“Not opposed to it, just need to find her.”
Aaron has always said he’s holding out for the one. He doesn’t do relationships. If he’s not feeling it within a few hours of meeting her, he’s one and done. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard Kinley preach to him about not being able to really get to know someone if he doesn’t give them a chance. His theory is it should be instant. Not sure I agree with him, not after all the time I spent with Kinley. My feelings toward her have changed; so much, I fight them anytime I’m near her.
“What do you have going on the rest of the night?” I change the subject. No way do I need to be thinking about Kinley with Aaron sitting here.
“Nothing, man. I thought about going into town to get something to eat. Mom and Dad went out and Kinley is editing, so she will be glued to her computer for hours. You hungry? How about I go pick us up a pizza or something?”
“Starving! Now that I think about it, I haven’t eaten all day.” I was too nervous about bringing my daughter home to worry about food. My stomach is finally protesting.
“I’m all over it. I’ll be back in a bit,” Aaron says, standing from the couch. “Do you need anything for this one?” He points to where Lexi is sleeping peacefully.
“No, your sister is a lifesaver. She made sure I was all set.” He studies me for a few long seconds and my palms start to sweat. Can he see it? Can he tell she’s more than just his little stand in little sister to me? That she’s more than just the friend who has helped me over the past few months?
Finally, he looks away and heads toward the front door. “Be back in a few,” he says over his shoulder and then he’s gone.
Chapter 22
McKinley
The sun blaring through my bedroom window causes me to groan in frustration. It was after one this morning before I finally let sleep claim me. I lost track of time while editing, but at least I’m all caught up. Today, I don’t have anything scheduled in the studio, so I plan to take my camera and the outfit I bought to Evan’s and get some, hopefully, adorable newborn pictures of Lexi. However, I first need a shower and food, since I skipped dinner last night.
After rushing through a shower, I head downstairs and find Mom pulling a casserole dish out of the oven. It smells amazing. Looking at the clock, I see it’s only nine-thirty. “That smells great,” I tell her.
“Thank you. I made lasagna for Evan. It’s something he can eat on for a few days and it’s easy to reheat. Do you think you could drop it off for me?” she asks. I’m surprised she doesn’t want to herself.
“Sure, I’m headed there anyway. I’m going to take some newborn pictures of Lexi. I can’t wait to see her in the Alabama outfit I bought off of Etsy.”
“Those ears are just too cute,” Mom says. I purchased a gray crocheted hat with elephant ears and a matching diaper cover in gray with a red “A” right on the bottom. I can’t wait to take these pictures. Evan is a hardcore Alabama fan.
“They really are. I was going to surprise him, but I don’t know if I can get him to leave her long enough. He’s smitten.”
“Hmm, that he is. I’m sure for you he would be agreeable,” Mom replies.
“What do you mean for me?”
“He just seems to trust you. You two have gotten closer since you’ve been home.” She goes back to packing up the lasagna in her carrier. I study her to see if she can tell, for him, I would be agreeable to anything. It’s not Evan; it’s me. Now that Lexi’s here, it’s just going to be harder to resist him---them. She is the sweetest baby.
“Yeah, he needed help. That’s what friends do.” I try to sound nonchalant. Mom doesn’t call me out on it and I’m grateful. I don’t want to talk about how I’m falling harder every day for my brother’s best friend, for my best friend. Evan and I have become really close, and I feel guilty that I want him, but I just…his kisses are hard to forget.
After scarfing down a bagel, I run to the studio and grab the outfit and a few other props I use for newborn shoots. Once I have everything I need, including Mom’s lasagna, loaded into Evan’s truck, I’m on my way. The drive takes mere minutes from our place to his. I park and grab the lasagna. I can come back to get everything else. I’m hoping I can convince him to get out of the house for a little while so I can surprise him with the pictures.
I knock softly, not wanting to wake the baby if she’s sleeping. I wait, but no answer. Maybe they’re both sleeping. Using my key, I slide it into the lock and slowly push the door open. I hear a soft whimper coming from the living room and the sound of Evan’s voice as he tries to soothe her.
I take the lasagna to the kitchen, kick off my shoes, and make my way to the living room. I find Evan pacing back and forth with Lexi in his arms, begging her to sleep. “Rough night?” I ask. The sound of my voice startles him. When he turns to face me, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He’s exhausted.
“You could say that. She’s hardly slept,” he says, defeated.
With a few steps, I’m standing beside him. I place my hand on Lexi’s back and gently rub. “Let me take her. You go get some rest.”
With glassy eyes, which I’m sure have more to do with emotion than exhaustion, he says, “Kinley, what if I can’t do this? I love her, but what if I’m not what she needs?”
Reaching out, I take Lexi from him and cradle her in my arms, gently rocking her from side to side. “Evan, you are what she needs for the simple fact that you do love her. You have to remember, most of the time, there are two parents, two people to take shifts until this little one gets her days and nights on the right schedule. It takes time, and you are trying to do it on your own.”
“I just—”
“You’re just tired. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah, Aaron came over last night and brought pizza.”
“Today, Evan? Mom made you a lasagna, not exactly breakfast, but it’s still warm and it smelled amazing when she was making it. I set it on the counter in the kitchen. Go make yourself a plate, then go upstairs and sleep. I have nothing planned today. I’ll take care of this one.” I look down at Lexi. “You, little one, have worn Daddy out. You and I are going to spend some time together while he gets some rest.” I talk to her like she understands me. I’m sure I look like a crazy person, but Evan’s so tired he probably doesn’t even notice.
“Kinley, I—”
“Evan, go. I got this. We will be here the entire time. She needs you rested. Now go get some food and then sleep.”
He’s too tired to protest further. He nods and leaves the room. Lexi is no longer whimpering; she’s passed out in my arms. Babies can feel tension and I’m sure this little one was feeding off his exhaustion. Not wanting to move her just yet, I reach for my purse and pull out my Kindle. I settle down on the couch with this precious baby girl to read. I need Evan to see I’m good with this so he won’t feel guilty.
A few minutes later, he joins me with a heaping plate of lasagna and a glass of sweet tea. I pull my feet up, so he can sit on the opposite end of the couch. “She’s out,” he observes.
“Yeah, I think the two of you were keeping each other up.” He doesn’t say anything; instead, he digs into his lasagna. I open my Kindle and start reading, letting him eat.
“I can’t take care of my own kid,” he says, setting the now empty plate on the coffee table.
“Evan, every parent needs help. You can’t expect to do it all alone. Let me help. Go crash for a few hours. I got her. I’m going to make sure she’s in a deep sleep before I lay her down. I have my Kindle.” I hold it up for him.
He runs his hands over his face and releases a h
eavy sigh. Finally, he stands and carries his plate to the kitchen. When he comes back, he sits on the edge of the couch close to me, tracing a finger down Lexi’s cheek. “I love her so fucking much, and it kills me to think I can’t take care of her,” he confesses.
“You can take care of her. You’re exhausted, Evan. Go get some rest,” I say softly.
Leaning in, he cups my face with his hand and runs his thumb across my cheek. “What would I do without you?” he whispers the question. I assume it’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer. “You’re amazing, Kinley.” Leaning in a little further, his lips press against mine. “Thank you,” he says, pulling away. He watches me for a reaction, which he’s not going to get. I can’t let him see how he affects me. I would rather have stolen kisses we don’t talk about than have him pull away when he finds out those kisses make my heart full.
Standing, he says, “She ate about two hours ago, so she will be hungry soon.”
“Okay, I promise to wake you if we need anything. Now go get some rest. We’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Evan nods and heads upstairs.
Not twenty minutes later, Lexi begins to stir. Closing my Kindle, I change her diaper and make her a bottle. She drinks greedily and gets mad when I make her stop so I can burp her. She sucks the rest down and her eyes are once again closed. I rub her back and gently pat until she burps again and sighs, making me smile. She’s got a full belly and is sound asleep. Placing her in the pack-n-play, I pick up the bottles Evan left sitting on the table from last night and quietly load the dishwasher. After wiping off the counters, I decide to go ahead and sweep the kitchen floor. After that’s all done, I slip outside and grab my camera and props. Little Miss Lexi doesn’t need to sleep all day. Maybe if I keep her up, Evan will get some rest tonight.
Another hour passes and I decide its time to wake her. When I pick her up, she stretches her little arms and legs. I swear she’s the cutest kid ever, but then again, look who her daddy is. I strip her out of her clothes, place the diaper cover on her, and secure the elephant ear hat to her head. She sleeps through it all; it doesn’t even faze her.