by Kaylee Ryan
I’m falling hard.
“Send Aaron on over. I’ll feed her breakfast and get her bag packed.”
“Thank you, Evan.”
“I can’t fucking wait to see you walking down that aisle,” I blurt out.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon, babe.”
“I’ll be there,” she says with conviction.
“Let’s get some breakfast. Then you’re going to go see your m—” Shit! I almost referred to Kinley as her momma. It’s true in every sense that matters, and today she becomes my wife, but we need to talk about that first. When…when this is all over, will she still want that title and the responsibility with it?
The kitchen is quiet, which is strange, but I go about making Lexi her bottle and settle in at the table to feed her. I nibble on a pastry while she eats.
“You’re going to spend the day with Kinley, baby girl. Then, in a few hours, you’ll come back here while Kinley and Daddy get married.” She coos like she likes the idea. “Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper next to her ear. I should feel ridiculous confiding in my infant daughter, but I know she can keep a secret. She stops eating and lets the bottle fall from her mouth, a grin gracing her lips. I swear she understands every word. “Daddy loves Kinley very much.” It feels good to say it out loud. “I know you love her too. She’s going to be living with us, Lex. Daddy’s not sure how long he will be able to do that and not beg her to stay with us forever.”
“So, the truth comes out.”
Shit! Looking up, I see Aaron standing in the doorway. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Obviously.” He’s not giving anything away. He takes the seat beside me and grabs Lexi’s foot. “Morning, sweetheart.”
She grins and coos at him. “I have her bag packed. She just needs to finish eating.” I ignore the fact I’m pretty damn sure he heard me tell my daughter I’m in love with his sister.
“I’m in no hurry, although don’t be surprised if Kinley calls wondering where I am,” he laughs.
I don’t say anything. Instead, I offer Lexi her bottle and watch as she once again starts to eat.
“Fuck, man. Your fucking eyes got all soft just at hearing her name. You’re really in love with my little sister?”
And there is it.
Lifting my head, I meet his gaze. “Yes.” I don’t offer an explanation or an apology. Just the cold hard truth.
“Does she know?”
“No, and I don’t plan on telling her.”
“Why the fuck not?”
I sigh in frustration. I’ve been through this a thousand times in my head. No one else was supposed to know besides Lexi. “She deserves better, man. I’m a selfish bastard for letting her go through with this. I’m scared as hell that, when this is all over, she’s going to pack up and move back in with your parents. I know that’s what’s best for her, but I’m fucking dreading it.”
“Don’t you think she deserves the chance to make that decision?”
“She loves her, Aaron. She loves my daughter like she would if she were the one who gave birth to her. I don’t want her to stay for just Lexi, man. I want her to stay for the whole package.”
“How do you know she won’t be?”
“I guess I don’t. Maybe living together will change that. I don’t know, but as for now, I can’t tell her.”
“Stubborn ass,” he retorts. “You really love her?”
“Yeah, man. I really do.”
“So, the proposal?”
“It was real.”
“Wow.”
“I’m in deep, man. I know she’s your little sister, but she’s here.” I place my hand over my chest.
“I’m glad it’s you. I mean, it’s still weird to think about my best friend and my sister, but I know you, and you’ll be good to her. I just wish you would tell her, man. What if she feels the same way?”
I shrug. “I think I’ll choose heartbreak because when what she thinks is just an arrangement is over, heartbreak is better than her rejection. I don’t think I could live with that, Aaron. It’s going to be hard enough letting her go when this all settles. To think she never really wanted me…this is the better option.”
“I think you’re wrong, but it’s your call.”
I don’t reply as we sit in silence, both watching Lexi finish her breakfast. “She’s a cute kid, man,” Aaron finally says.
“Yeah, she’s my world.”
Lexi spits out her bottle and grins. “All right, baby girl, let’s get you cleaned up and then Uncle Aaron is going to take you to Kinley.” I try like hell to not be jealous of my daughter.
Chapter 42
McKinley
Aaron left forty-five minutes ago; he should be back by now. I’m pacing back and forth in my room. Mom and Dad shared a room as did Aaron and I. So, there is no one here to witness my crazy. I know Aaron and Evan probably got caught up shooting the shit, as they refer to it, but they could at least send me a damn text so I don’t worry.
Just as I pick up my phone to call them, the door opens and Aaron waltzes in with Lexi in tow. “Finally!” I say, dropping my phone on the bed and taking Lexi, seat and all, from him.
“Hey, the little bugger had to finish her breakfast.”
Lexi smiles when she sees me. “Hey there, sweet girl. I missed you,” I say as I unstrap her from the seat. Her arms and legs are flying when I pick her up. She grabs for my chin, my hair, anything her little hands can latch on to.
“I think it’s safe to say she missed you too,” Aaron laughs. “She’s not the only one,” he mumbles under his breath.
I pretend I don’t hear him. “You ready for today, Lex? You have the prettiest little dress,” I tell her.
“You ready for this?” My brother asks.
“Of course, I am.”
“No reservations? You know it’s not too late to back out.”
“Why would I want to do that? This was my idea, after all.”
“I don’t know. Just thought I would put it out there.”
“Well don’t. There isn’t anything that could change my mind,” I tell him.
“Really? What if you finally face the truth that you love him and this is going to end with you having a broken heart? Is that reason enough to call it off?” he asks.
I can feel my face flush from his words. “Listen, Aaron, I care about Evan, more than just as my friend, I will admit that, but those feelings are not going to stop me from going through with this. I love this little girl like she were mine. I can’t let them take her. Whatever is going on between Evan and me, we will either work it out or we won’t. My eyes are wide open, Aaron. I know I’m risking my heart with both of them. Evan is a great guy. He would never keep Lex from me. I know that. If he’s just my friend when this is all said and done, then so be it. At least they will both still be a part of my life. I don’t think I could accept a world where that isn’t the case.”
“You love him.” Aaron smiles cockily.
My big brother is so damn frustrating. “Fine, yes, I love him. My heart skips a beat when he walks in the room. I don’t sleep when his arms aren’t wrapped around me. You happy now?”
“You’re sleeping with him?” His voice is deathly calm.
“Aaron, come on. We’ve slept in the same bed a few times, all this week actually, and a few times before that.”
“That’s not what I asked you,” he fires back.
“Look, I’m sure this is not a conversation you want to hear about your little sister.”
“You’re right, it’s not, but it’s also about my best friend. I thought Evan had more respect for you than that,” he seethes.
“He does. No, we’re not having sex!” I raise my voice, causing Lexi to jump. I bounce her in my arms. “Look, Aaron, I’m going to say this once, and then we’re never talking about it again. I mean it. You can’t even bring it up to Evan. Yes, we’ve done more than just a few kisses here and there, but I have not had intercourse
with him. Does that mean I won’t? No, it doesn’t. This does not involve you, Aaron. Please, just let it go. Evan treats me like I’m precious to him. Never once has he done something I was not fully on board with. Now drop it.”
“McKinley—” I raise my hand to stop him.
“Don’t! Just let it go. I’m in this, Aaron. Nothing you say can change my mind. I know I’m your sister and he’s your best friend, but what happens between Evan and me is just that, between us. You need to stay out of this.”
He runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck! All right, I’ll try my best.” He sits down on the bed. “Now give me the munchkin. Her dad was hogging her and Uncle Aaron needs his fix.” He changes the subject. He’s frustrating as hell, but I love him and it’s nice to know, above all, he has my back.
“But I just got her,” I whine.
“Too bad, go shower while we play.” He takes Lex from my arms and waves his hand toward the bathroom. “You do have a wedding to get to in just a few hours, you know.”
He’s right. Today, I marry my best friend, who just also happens to be the man I’m head over heels in love with, but too afraid to tell him. There are times when I think he feels it too, but it’s not worth the risk. Not having him and Lexi in my life in any capacity is just not an option for me. I’ll love him silently.
“Oh, sweetheart, you look beautiful.” Mom has tears in her eyes.
“You ready for this?” Dad asks.
“Yeah, I really am. This is the right thing to do. Evan is a good man, you know that.”
“I know, honey. He confirmed it when he asked for your hand.”
Wait! What? “He…what did you just say?”
“Evan stopped by a few days before you all left and asked us both for your hand. Said he wanted to do things right, even under the circumstances,” Dad explains.
Holy shit!
“I take it you didn’t know?” Mom asks.
“I had no clue. I mean, yeah, he asked me.” I raise my hand to show them my ring, as if they needed the proof. They’ve already seen it.
“If I didn’t know any better, I would say that boy’s in love with you,” Mom comments.
“Knock, knock,” Aaron says, coming into the room. He’s carrying a smiling Lexi in her little white dress. “This squirmy little monster is hard to dress. We made it happen though, didn’t we, Lex?” She coos and reaches for his chin. He acts like he’s going to bite her fingers and she grins.
“You dressed her?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah, Mom was here with you, and I thought I would help. Easy-peasy once we got the damn thing over her head. Well, and the tights, that was a task,” he says with a laugh.
“I would have paid good money to have seen that, son,” Dad laughs.
“Damn! I should have recorded it. Evan probably would have too. Lexi girl, we could start a side business.” Aaron kisses her cheek.
“Well, looks like we’re ready to go. We don’t want to keep them waiting.”
“Um, hello, minister here, the show can’t start without me,” Aaron says.
“Um, hello, bride here, the show can’t start without me either,” I mock him.
“Good thing you’re all pretty and shit, or I’d be giving you the biggest noogie,” he jokes.
“Let’s go, you two,” Dad laughs.
I reach for Lexi, but Aaron turns away from me. “No way, sister. Mom would kill me if you get wrinkled or something…baby on you. I got her.”
“What about you?” I counter.
“I’m just the guy who says the words. No one’s going to be looking at me.”
“It’s a very small group, Aaron, of course they will.”
“McKinley, have you looked in the mirror? You’re beautiful. I can say with absolute certainty that all eyes, no matter how many are in attendance, will be on you.”
“Stop before you make her cry and mess up her make-up.” Mom smacks his shoulder and Lexi repeats the action.
“Let’s get you married, baby girl.” Dad loops his arm through mine and leads me out to the car.
Chapter 43
Evan
We’re getting married in my grandparents’ church. It’s a private service and the pastor was completely fine when we explained the brother of the bride would be the one marrying us. My grandparents have been members for over fifty years. They handed them the keys and said to clean up when we’re done. Originally, it was going to be in the backyard, which is where McKinley still thinks it’s going to be, but I wanted more for her. I want this to be a day she will remember.
So, we got the church. Mom and a few other ladies took care of decorations and I took care of the photographer. I mean, come on, I’m marrying a photographer who has a true passion for capturing memories. I can still remember that day months ago when she told me why she chose photography. How can I not hire the best to give her pictures—her passion—to remember this day?
I contemplated inviting a few of our friends, but selfishly, I decided not to. I like the idea of an intimate setting, the idea of saying our vows in front of just our immediate family. I hinted around to McKinley about inviting others, and she pretty much said the same thing. The wedding is for us, to pledge our lives—well, for me, my love—but she won’t know that. She said it’s not for the showboat of the event. We share very similar beliefs, and that just made me fall a little more in love with her. I am admitting it in my head now, especially after this morning. Confessing to my daughter and having Aaron overhear it all, there’s no sense in denying it in my head. I know how I feel.
Everything came together seamlessly, and now, I’m sitting in a back room of the church waiting for my bride and my daughter to arrive. I’m not nervous, anxious maybe, but no nerves.
“Come in,” I say to the knock on the door.
“Hey, son.” Dad slowly enters the room and takes a seat on the bench beside me. “You ready?”
“Yes.”
“I’m proud of you, Evan.”
“Yeah, your son who knocked up his girlfriend who ended up wanting nothing to do with him or the baby. The son who has to marry his best friend’s little sister, who also happens to be his best friend, to keep his daughter.” I don’t know where that came from. I guess I’m a little ticked off at the circumstances. I would rather be able to tell McKinley how much I love her as we stand at the altar today.
“Evan, you love that girl. Everyone can see that. You two might be hiding behind this arrangement, but anyone with eyes can see this is more than that.”
“Evan you ready?” Mom asks through the door.
“You can come in,” I yell back.
She slowly pushes open the door, peeking her head around the corner. “They just arrived. To say she is surprised is an understatement.”
“Good.” I gently pat my father’s shoulder. “Let’s do this.” I grin at my parents. Dad doesn’t say any more about our conversation and neither do I. This is just how it has to be.
I follow my parents to the main area of the church where I see Aaron standing. The grin on his face relaxes me.
“Dude, I can’t wait for you to see Lexi. Kinley bought her a little dress. Man, she’s a cute kid.”
I’m excited to see my daughter, but even more so my fiancée. I don’t know what she’ll be wearing, and I don’t care. She could walk down that aisle in jeans and a ratted old t-shirt and she would still be beautiful to me. I would still be having an internal celebration that she was just minutes from being my wife.
Grandma Lexington takes her place behind the piano and begins to play. I suck in a deep breath, my eyes glued to the doors, willing them to open. As if there was someone there to answer my silent plea, they do, and in walks McKinley, my baby girl in one arm, her dad escorting her with the other. She is wearing a white, sleek, sleeveless wedding gown and she’s…breathtaking.
“Breathe, man,” Aaron whispers in my ear.
Realizing I’ve been holding my breath, I breathe deep. I hear Aaron chuckle be
side me. I want to glare at him, but that would mean taking my eyes off McKinley, and well, that’s just not an option for me.
Taking her in, I commit every single second of this to memory and have to fight back the swell of emotion raring to break free.
She’s going to be my wife.
She stops before me, and her dad leans over, kissing her cheek. I watch as he also kisses Lexi before turning and taking his seat. McKinley steps forward and I reach for Lexi.
“I want her with us,” she whispers, although, with so few in attendance, everyone can hear no matter how soft you keep your voice.
“Absolutely,” I whisper hoarsely. What I really want to do is lean in and kiss the hell out of her for including my daughter. However, I assume it’s frowned upon to kiss the bride before I’m told to do so.
“Uh, guys, you’re kind of stealing my thunder,” Aaron jokes. Our parents laugh. “Now, dearly beloved…” Aaron rambles on, but I don’t hear what he’s saying. I’m too busy looking at my bride. Her hair is curled and off to the side, leaving one long, slender side of her neck bare and begging for my lips to kiss every inch of exposed skin. She’s not wearing much make-up, which I love. She doesn’t need it. The neckline of her dress, is low, but not indecent. Just enough to tease me with the temptation of the swell of her breasts.
Her lips are…moving. I blink to focus back on the moment. “Evan?” she says.
“Yeah, baby?” The endearment falls from my lips effortlessly. McKinley sucks in a breath and I realize my mistake. Our families can hear me. It takes me about two seconds to determine I don’t care. I don’t care if they know how I feel about her. I want our time together to be real. I will cherish her and every moment I get to have her as my wife. Our families need to get used to that.
McKinley tilts her head toward Aaron, and he’s smirking at me. “I think this is where you say I do, man,” he chuckles.
“I do,” I say, my voice strong, full of promise and conviction.