by Candi Heart
Sighing at my own insecurities, I downloaded the meal plan, and then the workout routine and set them next to the laptop in my bedroom. I looked around at the new furniture I’d just purchased, thanks to my big, fat Christmas bonus, and smiled a little. I may be a bit chunky, but I was also damn good at what I did, and my daddy was proud of me. I may have a man’s job, but every other part of my life was all girl. I loved spending hours in Victoria’s Secret looking at sexy, pretty things. My entire bedroom was lavender and yellow, with a melting jasmine scent inside a candle warmer shaped like a flower plugged in near my nightstand. I had a closetful of cute and sexy shoes I had bought on a whim, most of them beautiful heels I would probably only wear once. I was thankful for all the parties I’d been to lately as I’d gotten to wear some of them. I looked toward my closet longingly and momentarily wished I had a job that let me wear cute-ass shoes to work every day.
A girl can dream...
I shook my head with a sad smile and picked up my phone, pulling up the notes app and typing in the grocery list of food I’d need to shop for when I got around to getting to the store.
I was about to order up some takeout when the doorbell rang. Not expecting anyone, I was curious as I slogged to my front door and swung it open. A familiar face greeted me, one that momentarily made all of the gray that had fallen over my day float away, if only for a second. If there was anyone I wanted to see right now, it was Colton. I’d been holing myself up since I’d gotten home from Vegas, only going to work and back, and I was already growing sick of me. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t let Tyler Fucking Dalton throw me off any more than he had, but I’d failed miserably so far.
“Heard you’ve been spending your weekends inside. Figured whatever’s behind that probably calls for Haagen Dazs.”
Lifting up a grocery sack, he stepped into the apartment when I opened the door. Kissing me on the cheek, he then set the sack down on the kitchen bar and started unloading it, giving me a wink as I stared at him.
“You don't have to talk about it. I know how you get. But we’re going to erase it together. Got my own shit I’m not too eager to talk about.”
Crossing the tiny kitchen to grab spoons out of my silverware drawer, Colton hoisted up the containers of ice cream and jutted his chin toward the living room.
“What’s on Netflix?”
I grinned and followed, happier to see him in that moment than he could possibly imagine. We’d done this before, the Haagen Dazs thing, but it was always over some chick who’d broken his heart, never really in tandem. I’d never been dumb enough to let someone into my heart before.
It was a little weird having it reversed on me now, though I could already surmise his reasons for being here undoubtedly had something to do with that ice-hearted ditz he’d been wasting entirely too much time on—physically and emotionally.
No way was I going to say a word about my suspicions, though. Colton and I had the kind of connection that didn’t require us to ‘talk it out’ whenever a problem reared its ugly head in either of our lives.
“There’s a new superhero show,” Colton remarked as he scrolled through the options. “Ooh, look, we might have the full season.”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied with a shrug, just happy for any distraction at that point.
Colton lowered himself to the couch, setting our sugary distractions on the coffee table in front of him. Without skipping a beat, he cracked into his first.
I watched him carefully and murmured, “Must be bad. This time.”
He shrugged. “Nothing I haven’t weathered before.”
“And shouldn’t have to ever weather again,” I said under my breath.
When he faux punched me in the arm, I knew to shut up. If I kept on about that little wench, he’d force me to talk about the heartache that was Tyler Dalton and I had no desire to. Instead, I settled down beside him, picking up the ice cream and diving in, knowing it was my last treat for a while. I was determined to shed some pounds.
Starting Monday.
I looked at him from the corner of my eye and grinned. That was Colton, a man of few words and an extra-large heart. I hated Alyssa for breaking it, but he’d pull himself together again. He always did. Scooping into the caramel goodness, I swooned as the creamy confection slid down my throat. No better therapy.
Colton started the show, and we dove straight into the new series, which turned out to be surprisingly good. By episode two, though, we’d scraped the bottoms of our containers, and Colton had to make a store run to grab more goodies we could stuff our faces with while avoiding the cruel elephants in the room.
Ours was a trusty ritual, and throughout the entire evening my mind had barely turned to Tyler. I was beyond grateful for that, and by the time we’d passed out, I’d managed to convince myself that my poor choices of late were now officially a thing of the past.
I should have known it would be a short-lived thing.
I REFUSED TO BRING a glum face to the impromptu bar night Colton and I decided to plan. Tonight, we would reenter the world, unattached and too drunk to care about the assholes who’d broken our hearts when we’d been too distracted by their sweet words and slick moves to see it coming.
Colton gave me a scolding look. “You look great. Stop preening.”
I sighed and set the hairspray down, realizing my hair wasn’t going to get any better. And I certainly didn’t need another layer of mascara. I threw the tube into my makeup bag and turned around, staring at him. I was jealous of how easily he cleaned up. Low-slung jeans, a green button-up shirt, and dark-blond hair that required no more than a finger comb.
Colton tipped back his beer, emptying the rest of it before setting it on my dresser top. He had a preoccupied look, like he was antsy to get out of there.
“But I don’t know about this dress.” I looked down, chewing my lip.
Colton rolled his eyes. “Are you... fishing for compliments, or...?”
I slapped him on the arm. “No, you ass.”
He chuckled. “Well, you look amazing. Let’s go, Charlyse.” He said my name with a fake British accent.
Nodding and taking one last look at myself in the slinky red dress that had been sitting in my closet waiting for the right occasion, I pushed through my own reserves. He thought I was stalling, but it really was the dress. It was lovely, overall, but a bit over-the-top for the sort of lounge we were headed to.
“All right. Fuck it.” Letting my hands fall and slide over my hips, I turned to face my best friend, catching something odd in the way he looked at me. “You all right?”
Snapping to, he met my eyes as if blinking himself out of a daze and managed an uneasy smile. “Of course. The cab will be here any minute. We’d better get out front.”
I locked the door behind me just as the taxi pulled up. Colton opened the door for me and then went around to the other side, smiling at me as he got in.
We rode in silence most of the way. My quiet had come from my inevitable return to the unwanted thoughts that had been plaguing me. But I did my best to try to quiet them and redirect my focus onto the excitement I should be feeling. I was a workaholic who barely ever went out. Tonight should be a treat. Unfortunately, it was already beginning to feel like a chore. I was going to go through with it, though. I was sort of staking my sense of independence on it.
I’m such a loser.
If I didn’t get Tyler out of my head, I’d just be wallowing in self-pity, as I’d already begun to do again that morning, and I couldn’t have that. Couldn’t give him that. Wouldn’t give him that.
“Gum?”
Flicking my gaze to the spearmint stick Colton extended, I smiled and took it. “Thanks.”
“No problem, babe.”
We both fell quiet again, all the way over the Pennybacker Bridge, until we finally arrived at DiDi’s Lounge, where we made a beeline for the bar, immediately ordering two beers first, engaging in casual people-watching while the band finished setting up.
The crowd was a little thin, but it would probably pick up as the night went on. We’d arrived a little early, eager as we were to escape our co-wallowing.
“Slim pickins tonight.” Colton’s eyes lazily scanned the room.
I grinned at that. “You looking for a replacement so soon?”
I had meant it to be a playful comment, but Colton didn’t answer, and I immediately regretted my snark. He hadn’t spoken a word about Alyssa, even while we’d inhaled tons of ice cream the previous night in a desperate effort to chase away the phantoms haunting our hearts. I probably shouldn’t have brought it up. I was such a jerk.
“Sorry,” I offered with a sheepish smile.
He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
Sipping my beer uneasily, I turned my attention to the small bursts of bar crawlers piling in, buzzing with excitement. They were probably celebrating their paychecks without a care in the world. Good for them. Had I not met Tyler, I probably would have never made it out to the bar. I’d at least be enjoying myself at home, though, probably catching up on reality shows, like my new favorite, National Ink.
Downing the rest of my drink, I took Colton’s hand. “Let’s dance.”
The DJ was still playing old eighties songs while the band set up, but that would make slipping out of our tense coils even more fun. We had come out to enjoy ourselves and leave our cares at the door. And that was exactly what we were going to do.
After slamming his drink back and leaving the bottle on a random table on the way to the dance floor, Colton followed my lead, a brilliant smile spreading over his face that instantly relieved me. He’d be fine. I knew that, of course. But I’d been worried about him a little. How much heartbreak can one man take before it transforms him into something ugly?
Loosening up, we swayed and bobbed our heads to Boy George, Joan Jett, and Duran Duran. I loved the hell out of the 80s. As far as I was concerned, that kind of pop music would never go out of style. Slowly but surely, Colton eased into the mood until finally he was beaming, totally giving in to the sheer fun of dancing to the shit we used to rock out to at the 80s-themed dances in high school.
That was... until an overly loud giggle striking the air had the effect of a record scratch that made us both freeze in terror.
Alyssa.
Colton spotted her before I did, and his face fell instantly. She was in a very short leather skirt and a half-top that showed her flat stomach and bellybutton ring. With a lot more makeup on than she needed, she looked like she was shopping for another victim. My heart plummeted at Colton’s reaction, and I had to flog back the anger that started to creep up my gut. So I grabbed his hand, and he turned to meet my eyes, looking like he needed a moment to process the fact that I was even there.
His jaw clenched and his eyes burned with a hurt I had only seen because she had put it there.
I gritted my teeth. “Forget her. She’s not important.”
He nodded, averting his eyes, but when it looked like his gaze was slowly making its way back to the bitch, I brought my hand up and turned his cheek, so he had to look at me again.
“You’re better than her bullshit, Colton.”
Gritting his teeth again, his gaze deepened, nearly searing through me, as if trying his hardest to stay focused on me and not give in to the temptation to look at his ex again.
I smiled up at him as Crazy For You by Madonna came on, and we began to slow dance together. I was glad he was being brave by not breaking eye contact with me.
As he continued to look at me, he licked his lips and said, “Kiss me.”
I blinked incredulously up at him, my brow furrowing. “What?”
Had he really just asked me that? Thrown for the biggest loop ever, I took a step back.
He reached for my arm. “I know she’s watching,” he hissed desperately at me. “Kiss me, Charlyse. Please,” he begged.
Realization flooding to my mind in an instant, my heart flipped in my chest with relief. For a second there, I’d thought... No. I couldn’t go there. Shaking away the off-the-wall thoughts I’d almost begun to court, a smile found my lips. What the hell. Let Operation-I’m-Over-You commence! Hell, yeah I was game.
Leaning in to him, I cupped his cheek, stealing a surreptitious glance the bitch’s way before giving Colton a sweet, semi-chaste soap opera kiss.
Without tongue.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t how it played out at all in the end. In a move I could have never anticipated, Colton pulled me flush against his body, deepening the kiss, introducing tongue where tongue should have never gone. I pulled back abruptly, blinking up at him in shock, my fingers flying to my lips.
“Charlyse... I... I’m sorry. I don’t know... what came over me.”
My cheeks heated. “Um, okay...?” With mind reeling, my gaze panned the bar before I met Colton’s gaze again. Licking my lips nervously, I blurted out, “I... need some air.”
Colton grabbed my arm and stared down at me, desperation in his eyes. But I just couldn’t hold that stare. “Please don’t go, babe. I shouldn’t have done it like that.”
Shrugging, I averted my eyes to the ground, just wanting to bolt the hell out of there.
He kept talking, “It’s just... All these years, I’ve been looking for the perfect woman, and...”
My gaze slammed up to his, and I just about swallowed my heart. Do not finish that sentence. Instead what came out was, “Oh, God, Colton. I... I have to go.”
The words rambled out of me as fast as my feet carried me toward the door. This wasn’t happening. Not Colton. Not my best friend in the whole world. He was practically my brother.
He did not just hit on me!
I left the bar with fire at heels, needing to get as far away from our escapist-fail as possible. Never in a million years would I have thought the night would take this sort of turn. Talk about a major backfire. I didn’t even care if Alyssa had seen it at this point. It seemed so unimportant and trivial compared to this.
Maybe leaving like I had was the wrong thing to do, but in that moment there had been no other way to handle it. My heart pounded in my ears as I stepped out onto the sidewalk, folding my arms across my chest under the bright lights on Pike Street. Squinting my eyes, I glanced both directions, looking for a cab. Not one in sight. Dammit!
Chewing my lip, I began walking, reaching into my purse to grab my phone. I’d keep walking and summon an Uber. It would pick up the name of the street I wound up on when I got there.
Swiping my screen, I brought up the app and ordered the car. My heart clenched painfully in my chest when I thought about how Colton must feel right then. The last thing I’d wanted to do was humiliate him, but I wasn’t into him like that. And I’d never wanted to cross that line with in that way.
Sure, I’d flirted with the idea back in the days of braces and flute lessons, but I’d long since realized it would never work. We had a friendship, a family connection, really. But there wasn’t a romance in it for us. Even if there had been the slightest lingering flicker of interest, I still hadn’t gotten my heart back from Tyler. I really was working my hardest on that, but the fact was, I had to admit to myself first that he’d taken my heart—stolen it and not given it back—in the weekend-long whirlwind we’d lived in, but I just couldn’t do that. Not yet. Even though he was all I thought about. He interrupted my thoughts during the day and destroyed my dreams at night.
Whatever magic the Haagen Dazs and kickass super-heroine show had lulled into a quiet last night had been temporary. I wasn’t even close to being over him, even though it was less than he deserved. But sometimes we had no say over what our heart wanted or felt.
The worst thing was that every time my phone chimed with a text, or my phone rang, everything inside of me hoped it might be him... not that I’d ever given him my number. He hadn’t needed it, we’d spent every spare second together. I knew he could probably get it if he really wanted it, though. But it was obvious he didn’t want it. I h
ated myself for even thinking it. I’d fallen hook, line, and sinker for a heartless man who’d used me just for thrills. For a date to his big parties. Someone to fill his boredom at night. He was something I’d promised myself I’d be smart enough to avoid in my adulthood. Though judging by all indications, it was looking like he was going to take his sweet time leaving my system.
A chime from my phone distracted me. Looking down, I saw a notification telling me that my driver was arriving.
Chapter 18
Tyler
A LOUD NOISE BOLTED me from sleep. My phone. “Hello?”
“Where are you?” Zara said in that panicked pitch just below a screech.
I sat up and raked my hand through my hair. “Huh?”
Blinking myself awake, my eyes widened, suddenly realizing what Zara was going to say before she said it.
“Mr. Dawson... the interview. Did you forget?”
Shit.
Groaning the minute I sat up, I squeezed my eyes shut as a dull throb took hold of my head. I’d had way too much to drink last night. And I’d totally forgotten about the damn interview. It was with the top reporter for Wheels Magazine of all people. At least when I fucked up, I did it royally.
I blew out a breath. “Let me get a quick shower and I’ll be on my way.”
“Too late, they rescheduled.”
“Fuck,” I murmured.
She paused for a second, and then asked, “Are you all right, Mr. Dawson?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Fine.” I grimaced as I rifled through my cabinets to find my painkillers. “Just slept in is all. Forgot to set the alarm.”
“I told them you were ill.”
I relaxed a little more. “You’re a gem, Zara. Thanks for that.”
With a smile in her voice, she replied, “Just doing my job.”
“You’re still a gem I’m glad I pay for. I’ll be down in a half hour.”
“Sounds good, sir.”
As I ended the call, I was thankful I had people like Zara in my circle. No judgments came from her type. People like her came to do their job because they enjoyed being relied upon. If it hadn’t been for her staying on top of her A-game, I’d have burned a major racing mag for something as silly as drinking myself into an unnecessary stupor. Unnecessary because I hadn’t gotten a thing out of it. I still felt like shit, my damn heart was still in pieces, and nothing was resolved.