Simon took her somewhere quiet, a little bar, she was hardly sure where. He fed her, gave her good wine, spared her the GastroChoice lecture for a change.
Emily clutched at the alcohol. It was going to deaden her. Stop her heart beating for a man who’d lied to her, withheld his fundamental nature. What else hadn’t been true? Once she’d drunk enough, the wine would be a way to block out all such thoughts. And she intended to drink more than enough to make that a certainty.
They went back to Simon’s flat. To her alcohol dulled brain, it didn’t feel right, didn’t feel wrong. It was just a thing to do. A thing to do to avoid thinking. Thinking about anything too much. Thinking about anything at all.
And when it got late, he offered her the bed. She lay, a stone, too defeated to protest, and tried not to cry over one man whilst lying in another’s bed. But the tears came. And Simon held her through it all. She clung to him, knowing that it wasn’t right, but just needing to.
Slowly, gently, he kissed her tears away. Then slowly, gently, he kissed her lips. And she kissed him back. Did that feel wrong? Did it feel like anything good? Anything at all? No. It was just something to do.
Emily knew she’d fallen into alcohol induced sleep before anything more than kissing had happened. That knowledge hadn’t really made any part of her feel better as she’d cupped her hands around the tea that Simon had brought her early the next morning. The pain that was governing her body was not just from the headache that seemed to have pulled her brain away from the sides of her skull. Lucas. It was finished. Tears rose. She swallowed them back. She was not going to cry.
Emily dressed and eyed herself in the bathroom mirror. She could see her misery portrayed clearly, but would anyone else? Probably, even if they didn’t spot that she was in the same clothes as yesterday. The blackness around her eyes, the permanent frown and the whole immovable greyness of her spirit shouted it out loud and clear. She applied what makeup she had in her handbag, enough at least to put strangers off asking if she were okay.
‘How long have you known?’ Emily wasn’t sure that she actually wanted to know the answer, but felt compelled to ask.
‘About him, or that he was a blood sucker?’ Emily winced. Forced dry toast into a stomach that felt far too rebellious to accept anything more complicated. She shrugged back a reply, as if it mattered really.
‘A little while.’
‘Did you have me followed?’
Emily didn’t look at him, didn’t answer either when he replied with:
‘What kind of person do you think I am? Someone saw you. One of the other journalists. He didn’t even know about you and me. Just commented, in passing, that he’d seen you out with someone.’
‘I’m surprised he even knew I work in the office at all.’
‘Why?’ Simon moved to clear away the breakfast things.
‘I’m not exactly important am I? Just some little office girl. You only know me because of the Friday afternoon shift.’
‘How long ago does that seem now? Bernstein stopped that pretty swiftly once the Entertainment District evolved into a more newsworthy place,’ Simon said.
‘I think I preferred it before.’
Simon was right though. It seemed hard to imagine now a time before all this. Before Rachel’s death, the missing vampires, the HeadHunter. Before Simon. A time before Lucas.
‘But you’re wrong, Emily. Lots of people know you exist in that office.’
Simon crossed to sit opposite her once more. He took her hands across the table. Waited until the silence forced her to raise her eyes to his.
‘You’re beautiful, Emily. People notice that, believe me.’ He stood. Pressed a kiss onto the top of her hair. ‘Come on. We need to get to work.’
Fifty One
Lucas had done nothing. The shift that had begun with Emily’s phone call had finally ended, but he might as well have gone home straight away. He knew he’d offended at least one colleague who’d come seeking advice and left wishing he’d never bothered. It was some relief that the meeting he’d had scheduled with Max Taylor had been cancelled by the boss himself. Lucas wasn’t sure he could have faked his way through that.
Why hadn’t he just told Emily the truth from the start? He knew the answer to that. He knew it would never work. Him and a human. But, just for a while, it had been fun, more than fun. He’d been able to pretend all was well with the world, that their fundamental difference didn’t matter. He should have held back, not allowed himself to fall for her. He couldn’t face the loss when her life ended and his continued. Couldn’t go through it again.
Having decided that walking was what he needed, here he was now, stomping through the bleak grey of the coming day. If he’d thought he could simply trudge away from the pain of the night, he was failing. There was no escaping that.
His mobile rang. It would be Emily. It had to be. He fumbled the phone from his pocket. Gabriel.
‘What?’
‘Hello to you too,’ Gabriel said. ‘What the hell’s the matter with you?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Just phoned to say – great catch. Emily. Seriously mate – she’s top stuff.’
‘It’s over.’
‘What? Why? I thought you liked her? And all she could talk about was you. I tried to get her off the subject many times, as you can imagine.’
‘I can.’ Lucas’s tone was flat. Gabriel’s comment had released a bloom of pain – at once exquisite but fatal.
‘But why?’ Gabriel asked.
‘Someone told her I was a vampire,’ Lucas said.
‘Someone who wasn’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘And she didn’t like it much? That you’re what you are?’ Gabriel said.
‘Don’t know. Didn’t get that far. She didn’t like that I hadn’t told her.’
‘And you’re surprised?’
‘No. I guess not.’ Lucas sighed.
‘You should have told her. I would’ve done in the same position,’ Gabriel said.
‘You and I are different,’ Lucas replied, his voice low.
‘Very true.’ There was suddenly an edge to Gabriel’s tone. Sharp. Icy. More chilling than the frosty air.
Lucas stopped.
‘You’ve lied to Emily, Lucas. Right from the start.’
‘Yes. No. You just don’t get it, Gabriel.’
‘You’ve not told her the truth,’ Gabriel fired back. ‘It’s pitiful. What the hell are you so ashamed of?’
‘I didn’t want to be like this.’
‘This pathetic? Or this ‘a vampire’?’
‘Vampire. I didn’t ask for it. Not like you.’
‘Here we go again. The old lack of choice argument again.’
‘But it’s true.’ Lucas could feel the spark of his own anger ignite the misery inside.
‘Get over it, Lucas. You’ve had long enough.’
‘That’s easy for you to say. All confident in your knowledge of why you were changed. You got your choice. I didn’t.’
‘Why? Would you really have chosen to die?’
‘Yes.’
‘And that’s what makes you even more of a fool, Lucas.’
Gabriel laughed, and that was enough. Enough for Lucas to decide that Gabriel needed a little truth of his own.
‘Maybe things aren’t the way you think they are.’
‘Like what?’ Gabriel asked.
‘Like the reason you were accepted to be changed.’
‘What do you mean? I know why I was let into your exclusive little club.’
‘No. You don’t.’
‘It was culture. To rebalance our kind against the humans. My art skills, my background. My creative genius.’
‘No,’ Lucas said. Was he really enjoying that twist of uncertainty in Gabriel’s voice?
‘It’s on the damned paperwork, Lucas.’
‘I don’t need to see the paperwork. I was there.’
‘What?’ That his words were shaking
Gabriel was obvious.
‘I was there. At the time. With the Committee. Those moments in the changing. They’re so useful. That surreal disorientation coupled with their own specially concocted potion. Ideal for stealing memories, as the Committee discovered long ago. Stealing memories of death, of the first taste of the vampire blood that really changes you. Of who made you.’
Gabriel said nothing. Lucas nearly stopped himself, but then, why should he?
‘I made you, Gabriel.’
Lucas let the words, the truth, hang there, to be taken or not.
‘No. It was one of the Committee. I was important to them,’ Gabriel said.
‘No. It was me. And it was nothing to do with culture, I can assure you of that.’
‘I don’t want to know anymore.’
‘Tough,’ Lucas interrupted. ‘I want to finally tell it. You’ve been the one preaching honesty this evening. You were changed for your money. Your wealth. That’s it. No mention of talent. Just cash.’
‘No.’
‘Yes. After HaemX, the human government took the majority of the dead humans’ money. And there was plenty of it, believe me, don’t forget whole generations had been wiped out. They gave the vampires a share of it. But not an equal one. And so, people like you were changed.’
‘But I applied. I had to wait. I wasn’t even changed until twenty five years after HaemX.’
‘The Committee were just biding their time. The success of your application was certain.’
‘I don’t believe you.’ Gabriel was solid once more. ‘You’re saying it to get at me.’
‘I’m not. And you know I’m right.’
‘You’re just bitter. For some insane reason, you don’t want this life.’
‘I didn’t pick it.’
‘Then why were you changed then? What were you? Plucked from obscurity, some poor unfortunate soul?’
‘Early on, they did want people with skills. And no, I wasn’t obscure. I was just very good at my job.’
‘Your modesty does you credit.’
‘I was an architect. The world needed rebuilding. You missed all that.’
‘The wonderful wise old Lucas. Think on this, Lucas. You were changed. So was I, for whatever reason. I don’t even care why. I’m enjoying this life. No, it’s not perfect. Yes there are things, big things I’d like to change about it. But it will change. And do you know why? Because we’ve got the time to see it change, to make it change, to watch it evolve. And what’s even better, we get to change with it. So you can stay pathetic. I don’t care. I don’t even believe you’re telling me the truth.’
‘I am.’
‘This is my life now. This is my world. Our world. You don’t want to take full part in it, you want to lie about who, what, you are – then you just carry on wasting it all. I don’t need this. I don’t need you.’ Gabriel ended the call.
Lucas breathed out anger. Gabriel had deserved that.
Slowly, doubt, followed by a desolate numbness followed. How had he let himself say all those things? Why? His heart was shattered. Emily was gone. Gabriel was gone. He had nothing. He was nothing.
The light of the early morning seemed to mock him too, with its fresh hope, fresh promise of a new day. He had to get home. Shut off. Darkness was the only thing he needed now.
Fifty Two
Emily could hardly believe that she was glad it was Monday morning again. Last week had been one of the worst. She’d heard nothing from Lucas. Had spent most of the week desperate for him to call, to apologise and then to whisk her off for an amazing night out… But nothing. She’d only be able to maintain her anger for so long. It had degenerated into moping around and feeling sorry for herself.
Simon had run out of patience, which had been a relief because it has rekindled her fire and she had finally told him she didn’t want to be with him at all. He’d not spoken to her since and she wasn’t sorry. It had been the right thing to do. And it had made her cross with Lucas all over again, which had helped. She’d tried to tell herself she was turning it into something which it wasn’t. They’d only spent limited time together after all, but she knew, in the slow, deep part of herself, that it had been right, that it would have grown. Now it would never get the chance.
Dutifully opening her emails as soon as she arrived at work, she heaved a sigh. Another summons to a staff meeting in the coffee room was top priority.
There, at the front, on a platform that seemed to have appeared over the weekend, stood Bernstein and his ever faithful Simon. There were enough people in the room already for Emily to loiter at the back, hiding without seeming to do so.
She eyed Simon. He stood still, legs slightly apart, hands locked behind his back, head bowed. What devastating news was he about to impart? Emily felt a small jab of pity for him. Her view of him was so much more objective now. Yes, he was nice looking, and, of course she had fancied him at the start, been flattered that he’d even noticed her. But then, what sort of judge of character was she? Lucas. She couldn’t, wouldn’t call it a mistake, but his lies still bit at her. Turned her heart to black fire, and then to ash. Why couldn’t it have been different? She didn’t even care that he was a vampire. She just wished he’d told her.
The room was pretty full now. Simon still hadn’t moved. Emily saw Bernstein nod to his PA, who’d entered the room behind her.
‘Everyone in? Good. Then we’ll begin.’
‘As all of you know, my ambition for this paper has always been for it to grow. For us to report more than just reviews of venues, low level events. Over the last few weeks, you’ve all been part of making that happen. You’re part of history.
‘Today, we’re taking the next step. Today, we’re stepping out of line. What the consequences will be …’ He shrugged, glanced across at Simon, who acknowledged the gesture with the mere raising of an eyebrow. Had they practised this? Emily wondered. A few of her colleagues were exchanging glances, but no one spoke. ‘To be frank, I don’t care if there are repercussions. Our job has gone beyond simply reporting on events. Today, today, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to be making the news.’
Now there was muttering, shuffling of feet, a few low queries about what he was going on about.
‘Today, we’re going to run an item that is exclusive to this paper.’ Simon’s turn to speak now. Emily found that she couldn’t look at him without her insides wrenching. This was all so overblown. ‘The facts that we’re headlining today are known only to the Security Forces, and myself.’ He paused, as if expecting, allowing for some reaction. There was none. Emily slouched lower behind the protection offered by the man standing in front of her.
‘And while the Security Forces have not forbidden us to run the story, they’ve not given their usual permission either. That’s why we say we don’t know what the fallout might be. That’s why this meeting was necessary – to make you all fully aware.’
And to try to impress us, Emily added in her head.
‘You will all know that over the last few weeks our main stories have been the crimes of the evil HeadHunter. You will also know that alongside that we’ve been covering the cases of the vampire members of our community who are still disappearing.’ That made her think of Lucas. Pain spiked her heart. ‘As yet, we have no clue to his or her identity, or even whether they are human or vampire. That is not something we’re prepared to speculate on. Not at this point in time anyway.’
Not quite true, Emily thought. Why was he covering that up? Did he know something else? She could see where all this was going. Simon had forgotten the other person who knew all that he was about to say, because she knew, didn’t she? She knew exactly what was coming next.
‘There are, however, certain facts that I have discovered that have led me, that is Mr Bernstein and myself, to conclude that the HeadHunter and the vampire killer are in fact, the same person.’
Now there was reaction. Startled voices, questions, expressions of disbelief, a few more vocal demands for proof.
Which Simon, of course, was more than too happy to provide.
Emily allowed her mind to wander. She didn’t need to hear his theories again. What she wanted to do was get to work on the ads, make the day go as quickly as possible so that she could get home.
‘So until the paper is published, this story goes nowhere. Strictly confidential.’ Emily caught the threat in Bernstein’s voice more than the words he was actually saying. ‘Anyone found leaking this story will be instantly dismissed. Do I make myself clear?’
There were muttered responses which seemed enough to satisfy Bernstein. He continued,
‘This provides our best opportunity so far. Remember – you are part of this newspaper. Go to it, people. This is our finest hour yet.’
The note of triumph in his voice galvanised them into action.
Emily eavesdropped her way out of the room. Many people did seem genuinely excited. Was her opinion being coloured by her opinion of Simon? Would what they were doing actually help to catch this killer? If so, then it was worth it.
Just as she was about to re-enter the office, someone caught her arm.
‘Emily.’
It was Simon. She’d been hoping to avoid him. ‘What do you think then? This is just the push the paper needs.’
‘You sound just like Bernstein.’ She paused, unsure initially of how she wanted to act, then she realised she knew exactly. She didn’t need to be friends with him. ‘I’ve got work to do. I’ll see you later,’ Emily said, not meaning it.
Somehow the word was being spread that the paper had a major scoop. How, Emily didn’t know or care, it was simply making her job a million times easier, more frantic too as the phone kept ringing and her Netmail box was nearly at capacity.
She ate at her desk, the momentousness of this issue seemed to have allowed a relaxation of the neat workstation rule, as nearly everyone was doing the same.
As if sensing her last mouthful of sandwich was imminent, the phone began to ring again. Swallowing hastily, she answered,
‘Entertainment Times, Emily speaking.’
Symbiosis: A Vampire Psycho-Thriller Page 27