by K. Walker
My mouth went dry. If I'd been having trouble moving earlier, now it was like I was frozen to the spot. No matter how many times I told myself to move, no matter how many times I heard Mom's words echoing in my head, I just couldn't do it.
I was going to die, right there, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I couldn't outrun a gun. Look how that had worked for Mom. But I wasn't going to get shot in the back like she did. I glared up at Greg, refusing to break eye contact.
If he was going to kill me, he was going to have to look me in the eye as he did it. I hoped my face would haunt him for the rest of his miserable life.
But when he smirked and pulled the trigger, the gun just made a clicking noise. He growled, then pulled the trigger again, getting the same result. It was jammed, or out of bullets or something, I didn't know which. Either way, he wasn't happy. He threw the gun to the ground, and I winced, expecting it to go off.
It didn't, though, and Greg stomped toward me.
That snapped me out of my haze. He didn't have the gun anymore, which meant I had a chance. It wasn't a good chance, but I had to at least try, right? I didn't want to die in that trash heap of a house. I wanted to go to school, wanted to get a job, wanted to have a family of my own.
And I wasn't going to let that bastard take those dreams away from me.
I waited until he was just in range, then I swung my leg up just like Mom had done. With every ounce of strength I had left in me; I kicked him in the nuts. A triumphed sense of pride washed over me as he screamed and collapsed to his knees again.
But I'd learned from Mom's mistake. That wasn't going to be enough to keep him down for very long. If he hadn't been cupping himself, I'd have kicked him again, but I figured it wouldn't do much with him in that position. Instead, my eyes locked onto the gun he'd tossed away.
I drove for it, not thinking. I pointed it at him and then I pulled the trigger, over and over again, praying it would work. But it didn't do anything other than click, just as it had done for him. I cursed, trying to think of something else I could use.
Greg was already starting to stabilize himself, though, grunting as he tried to stand.
I didn't have any time. I had to use the one thing I had at my disposal if I wanted any chance of getting away. So I ran forward and smashed the gun into the back of his head. He jerked forward with a grunt, and I did it again. And again. And again.
Blood splattered against me, but I didn't care. I didn't stop hitting him until he'd collapsed to the ground, not moving. Then, I dropped the gun and staggered backward, staring in horror at what I had just done.
I'd killed him. I think I had just killed the bastard, but there was no sense of achievement or happiness—just more revulsion. I certainly wasn’t going to stick around to see if he was actually dead or not, either.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard sirens wailing. My heart pounded. Someone must've decided a gunshot was worth calling the cops over. I had to get out of there, had to get away. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in jail.
I couldn't.
I had to run. I had to get as far away from this place as I could, just like Mom had told me to.
Looking at her body one last time, I brushed away the tears that streamed down my cheeks. I could morn her later, once I was out of here. Once I was safe.
I scooped up my jeans and grabbed Mom's purse from where it had fallen, and then took off running out the front door. As the sirens grew louder, I ran faster, ignoring the pain as rocks cut into my bare feet.
Chapter 3
"How long you plannin' on stayin' here?" JP asked as he sat next to me, back up against the wall. I could smell the pot and booze off him, but unlike with Greg, the stench didn't make me retch.
I still couldn't think of him without my stomach rolling. And not just the stench of him or the sight of him. I could still vividly remember how it felt as the gun smashed against the back of his head. I didn't know how many times I'd hit him, but I'd never forget that moment as long as I lived.
I shrugged, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. After Greg had killed my mom, I'd been pretty sure that I had killed him, and then I'd run to the one person I could trust. JP.
Anyone with half a brain would've had me committed to an insane asylum for admitting I trusted the man, but I did. JP wasn't a saint. He had more blood on his hands than I did. But he was an honest, loyal guy. If he wanted you dead, you knew why. And honestly, you probably deserved it.
He wasn't the kind of guy who'd rape a teenage girl, then shoot her mother in the back. He ruled this neighborhood with an iron fist, but if you were straight with him, he was straight with you. He was the only person I knew who could keep me safe.
I'd thought about running away to him before, all those nights I'd had to listen to Greg abuse my mother. Greg was a first-rate dumbass, but even he wouldn't have been stupid enough to cross JP. But I couldn't bring myself to leave Mom behind, and there was no way she'd have approved of me hanging out with JP.
"Word on the street is people's lookin' for you," he said next. There was no accusation in his voice. When I'd told him what'd happened, tears still streaming down my cheeks, he'd just held me and promised me it'd be okay. Nothing would hurt me as long as he was around.
I nodded. No doubt, the cops were looking for me, but I didn't think anyone knew about my connection to JP. He'd just been the guy I'd gone to buy weed from once in a while. And when I'd tried to buy something stronger to numb the pain, he'd refused. Told me I was too young and too pretty to throw my life away like that.
He didn't have any qualms selling to teens wanting to get high and party, but he wasn't about to be responsible for me gettin' killed from that shit. At least, that was what he'd told me. After that, he'd taken me under his wing.
On the nights' things got too bad, he always had a spare spot for me to crash. It was never a nice spot, but it wasn't much worse than the stained and sunken mattress I'd had at Greg's. And he was always willing to sit and listen when I'd rant about the bastard, just to let off steam.
Once, after I'd snuck out of the house because I couldn't listen to him and Mom argue anymore, he'd offered to take care of the problem for good. I'd still been a naive girl at the time, but I had still known what he meant. Looking back, I wish I'd taken him up on that offer. If I had, Mom would've still been alive.
JP put a hand on my back, patting it gently. "Don't worry. You can stay here as long as you need to. Doubt they'll come sniffing around here unless you stick your neck out."
I snorted. Sticking my neck out wasn't something I planned on doing any time soon. I'd been here a couple of days already, and I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. All I had were the clothes on my back and the little bit Mom had in her purse.
Which, honestly, wasn't much. She'd done okay for tips the night she'd died, but it wasn't enough to get me very far. I'd have to get a job somewhere if I wanted any hope of being able to survive. And that didn't even factor in how I was supposed to go to school if the cops were looking for me.
Christ, I thought to myself, letting out a slow breath. Where the fuck was I supposed to go from here? Start working the street corners? Offer to sell drugs for JP? Neither of those options was very appealing, but they sounded slightly better than spending the rest of my life in jail.
"We'll figure it out," JP promised, patting me on the back again. He had a knack for always seeming to know exactly what I was thinking. "Just take a breath and relax, okay? Every problem has an answer. We just gotta find it."
I snorted smirking at my friend. For someone who looked like the stereotypical Hispanic gangbanger, JP wasn't dumb. That was probably why he was running the gang. Everyone who saw him just assumed he was another high school dropout and drug addict. But as much as JP sold, he rarely indulged in anything more than the occasional joint.
Can't stay in power if you're constantly strung out, he'd told me with a smirk when I'd asked him about it a few months ago. And I k
new what he meant. In his world, there were probably always people watching for him to make a mistake so they could stab him in the back and take his spot.
"I gotta head out and check on some business." He smirked at me. He always liked being vague, but I didn't take it personally. He was like that with most people, only telling them what they needed to know. "You need anything, you let Chrissi know and she'll take care of it, all right?"
I nodded, smiling at him. Chrissi was probably the closest thing JP had to his second in command. They weren’t equals, nor did she serve him. But they worked together, each managing parts of the whole operation.
It was funny, back when I was younger and everything I'd learned about gangs had come from TV shows and movies and books, I'd always thought of them as being chaotic, violent. And while that was true to an extent, you didn't build an empire without being able to think.
And JP certainly had himself an empire. Sure, it may have only been a couple of neighborhoods him and his boys controlled, not a vast continent-spanning reign, but in those neighborhoods, he was king.
I watched as JP left, a fleeting thought filling my mind. I could stay here. Be his queen, rule his little empire right by his side. Someone like JP needed people he could trust, someone who'd watch his back while he watched theirs.
But that thought left as quickly as it had come. This wasn't the life I wanted for myself. I respected JP and Chrissi and everyone else here. They were all doing what they needed to survive. They'd made the best of what little scraps the universe had seen fit to give them.
This wasn't my life, though. It didn't look like I had many options right now, but I was determined to find them, one way or another. Even if it meant I had to work for JP until I could put together enough money to get my GED and then go to college, then that's what I'd do. But I wasn't going to let myself get caught up in this life.
It was just a means to an end for me.
The cops would only search for me for so long, right? Eventually, they'd have to give up and move on to other crimes. Compton wasn't exactly a safe city to live in. They couldn't waste too many resources on one guy among hundreds. Maybe by then, I'd have enough money to get out of this damn city, go somewhere where there weren’t any guys with guns tucked into their waistbands on every corner.
After JP left, I slumped down lower against the wall. I knew Chrissi was out in the front room, probably watching TV or something. It was still early in the day, and she didn't have much to do until the sun went down. That was when she and the girls hit the streets.
I could've gone out a sat with her. She'd always been friendly toward me the few times I'd met her in the past. Right then, though, I wasn't in the mood to be with anyone.
Tears ran down my cheeks. Even when I brushed them away, they just kept falling. All I could think about was Mom and how I would never get another hug from her again or smell her scent—how we’d never again curl up on the couch together with a pint of ice cream and watch a cheesy romance movie. My heart was broken, knowing the only person I had ever loved was gone forever.
God, how was I supposed to keep going without her by my side?
Chapter 4
I jumped as the walls shook. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the clock. It was still early, the sun barely up. Normally JP was still in bed by this time. But as I sat listening for the source of what had shaken me awake, I could hear JP talking in the other room.
My legs were like jelly as I pushed myself up off the ground. I quickly found my jeans and pulled them on. If JP was up this early, I had a feeling whatever had woken him up wasn't good. When I walked over to my door, I stood there for a moment and just listened.
"And you're sure you didn't recognize any of them?" JP asked. His voice grew louder and quieter as he spoke as if he was pacing back and forth in the living room. I couldn't hear what the man he was talking too said, but JP cursed. "And you're certain no one has said anything? Good, let's keep it that way. I want everyone keeping their eyes and ears open, though. Anyone sees or hears anything; I want to know about it."
I frowned as I tried to figure out what JP was talking about. It sounded almost like another gang was trying to worm its way into JP's territory, a new one maybe. But if that were the case, I'd expect him to be angrier, to start making plans to put an end to whoever it was foolish enough to try and encroach on his turf.
With a sigh, I unlocked the door and headed out into the hallway. The thing creaked as I opened it, so there was no way JP didn't hear me coming. He kept talking, though, so I figured whatever he was talking about wasn't anything super secret.
He was indeed pacing around the living room, a frown on his face, as he continued asking the man sitting on the couch with a beer in hand more questions. JP glanced over at me when I walked in, his frown deepening. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" he asked.
I shrugged and ran a hand through my long chocolate locks. I could feel the knots in it. In the days since Mom had died, brushing my hair and putting on makeup hadn't seemed all that important. "I don't sleep much," I said, honestly shrugging my shoulders. What sleep I did manage to get was flitting at best. If JP hadn't woken me, no doubt something else would have. "What's going on?"
Somehow, JP's frown seemed to deepen even more as he mulled over my question. He glanced over at the man on his couch again. I'd seen him before, but I wasn't sure what his name was. When JP turned back to me, he let out a sigh. "Apparently, there's been some people asking questions around town—questions about you."
I blinked at him in surprise. So, it wasn't a rival gang? It was just people asking questions about me? "Cops?" I asked a bit surprised they were still putting this much effort into finding me. I couldn't imagine one teenage girl had ranked very high on their priority list, even one who's mother and mother's boyfriend had been murdered.
"It doesn't seem that way," JP said with a shake of his head. Then, he nodded toward the man, still sitting. "T doesn't recognize them. If they're cops, they ain't the local detectives that normally poke around here."
My mouth went dry as I stared at him. If it wasn't the locals, then... Feds? But what could the feds want with me? It wasn't like they were going to get involved with murder unless Greg had been up to something without me realizing it. I had doubted that, though. He wasn't that bright to do anything worth getting on their radar.
JP walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Try not to worry, okay? I'll have my boys keep an eye out. I'll find out who they are and what they want, one way or another."
I shuddered from the malice in those words. JP was not someone you wanted on your bad side. I certainly didn't want him coming after me that was for sure. I was glad he was on my side; I was glad I had at least one person who would watch my back, no matter what.
JP turned to the other man, T. He nodded toward the door. "Get out there. Make sure the boys are on alert, all right? Remind them if anyone says one word about Bella, I'll have their cocks nailed to their doors."
I winced at the thought. I didn't even have those parts and that sounded painful. But then, JP wasn't known for being nice. You didn't control territory in Compton by being nice.
T yawned and stood, nodding at JP. For him to be so relaxed, I figured the two of them must be pretty close. "Yeah, I'll make sure the boys keep their traps shut. And I'll let you know if anyone else comes pokin' their head around." The man headed out, the door rattling the house again as it shut behind him.
JP nodded, then let out a sigh and shook his head. "I don't like this," he said at last.
"I'm sorry." Heat rose to my cheeks as I stared at the ground. When I'd come to JP, it'd been because I hadn't known where else to go. I didn't have anyone else who could take me in. But I hadn't wanted to bring trouble to his doorstep. If the feds really were involved now, maybe it would be better to leave now, before they found me.
JP looked up sharply. He squeezed my shoulder again and shook his head. "Don't be. This ain't your fault. Something else is goin' on h
ere. Ain't no reason Feds would be sniffing around here just 'cause some fuck-head got whacked. But I'm gonna find out who it is looking for you and what they want, I promise."
I nodded, not sure what to say. I wasn't sure who was out there looking for me, but I didn't like it. It was one thing to have the cops looking for me, but men in suits? That was just screaming trouble. Trouble I really didn't need.
Chapter 5
"You serious?" JP's voice echoed through the small house. I stared at my closed door, wondering if I should go out and see what was going on. It'd been two days since T had reported to JP about guys in suits looking for me. And while his boys on the streets said they were still looking, they hadn't gotten any more information. No one wanted to rock the boat too hard, just in case, it would lead back here.
I couldn't hear what else they were saying out in the living room. Not from my bed, anyway. I sat there for a minute or two, waiting to see if I could hear anything else. Finally, I let out a sigh and pushed myself up. My curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I headed out toward the living room.
Again, JP looked up when I walked in. This time though, it wasn't T sitting on the couch. It was Chrissi, her dark skin shimmering in the low light. She grinned at me, then winked, and I found myself blushing. I wasn't even into girls and yet Chrissi could make me flustered with just a look! It was no wonder the girls who worked under JP all followed her.
"You know a Lucas Cabot?" JP asked, arms crossing in front of his broad chest. The look he gave me wasn't quite a glare, but it was enough to warn me not to lie to him.
I didn't have to lie, though. I'd never heard that name before in my life. I shook my head, frowning. "Who's he? He a Fed or a detective or something?"