by Olivia Chase
I don’t know. But I can’t let Butch dictate my life anymore. He’s not been a part of it for years. I have to follow what feels right, good for me. Doing his deeds hasn’t felt right for a while. Following the path of violence, of vengeance…it’s only lead me to pain and heartbreak. It’s fed the beast in me, which pushed Phoebe away.
I don’t know if I can ever win her back. But I can fucking try to be a better man. Not someone who scares people.
I go up to bed. Strip naked and lie on top of my sheets. It’s an unseasonably warm night. Can’t help but wonder what happened at the auditorium—I shut my phone off because I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I knew Diane and Al would be pissed, and I wasn’t ready to face them. Not tonight. I needed time and space.
This was the right decision. Leaving boxing. I don’t want to rely on violence anymore. It served me when I was younger and needed the bolstering. But as an adult, it’s only made my life more difficult, more complicated. It’s pushed people away.
I don’t want to fucking do that anymore.
I’m going to focus on Fugitives. Simplify my life. I’m fucking done with the bullshit Butch has tried to drag me into. I need to rid myself of those complications. Live for me. I thought boxing was the answer, but all it brought was more pain, more doubt.
Violence isn’t getting me where I want to be. It’s time to shed that side of my life.
Phoebe
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I hedge, looking at Ramona. My heart is practically lodged in my throat as I stare at the front door of Fugitives. “Can we go somewhere else?”
“It’s been two months,” she says with a knowing look in her eye. “I thought you said you were over him. Is that not the truth?”
The truth is, I’ve thought about Hale so many damn times during the last two months that it’s embarrassing. I only knew him for a couple of weeks, but they changed me. Made me into a different person than I was. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have found the courage to quit working for Diane and go back to school. I wouldn’t have experienced the passion I did if he hadn’t impacted me this way.
“It’s fine,” I say blandly. I know she can see right through me, but I want to pretend this doesn’t bother me. It’s Ramona’s birthday, and she has a right to choose where she wants to go. It just happens to be the one place I’ve been avoiding since Hale and I stopped seeing each other.
No big deal.
I steel myself and walk into Fugitives. Maybe he isn’t even working tonight. Maybe I’m getting myself all riled up for nothing. Ramona and I can go in and have a nice dinner, and that’s that. Admittedly, if I’m honest with myself, part of me is wondering how he is. What he’s been up to.
Why didn’t he show up at the tournament?
That’s one of my biggest questions. And given how much I’ve tried to avoid anywhere he might be, it’s something I thought would go unanswered.
But Ramona’s right. Rock Bridge is a small town and you can’t avoid people who live here forever unless you move away.
Time to face the music.
Ramona and I take a seat near the back, at a small table. A guy comes over and gives us menus, explaining what the specials of the day are. He brings us two beers and leaves us to scour the menus.
“This place isn’t what I expected,” Ramona says. “These food items look legit, not just like bar food.”
She’s right. There’s steak, seafood, ribs, stuff you wouldn’t see on a regular bar menu. Clearly they are expanding their horizons. I wouldn’t have expected to see these kinds of offerings.
Our server asks us what we’d like to eat. I order the scallops, and Ramona gets the half slab of ribs.
The joint is crowded. As much as I try to deny it, I’ve been scouring the place looking for Hale. Haven’t seen him. He’s probably not working tonight. I tell myself that’s for the best, despite the sinking sensation in my stomach.
A stupid, stupid part of me has missed him. A part that got tangled up in him. Let myself drop my walls and feel for him.
A part that started to fall for him.
I’m so embarrassed to even think it. But it’s true. I know he isn’t good for me, but I can’t help but miss him. How he looked at me and made me feel special. The way he touched me, like I’m beautiful, the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. No man has ever looked at me that way. And after him, I don’t know if anyone else could even make a dent in my heart.
And then, there he is. He slides behind the bar to talk to someone, nodding as they discuss whatever they’re talking about.
My heart goes into rapid-fire beats, and I can barely breathe. Oh God, he’s so much more than I even remembered. Those sexy lips. His tousled hair. Black shirt stretched across his muscular chest. He’s chatting, scanning the room…and then his eyes land squarely on me.
And I forget how to breathe.
There’s a moment of intensity between us that almost sears the clothes off my body. He hasn’t forgotten me. And of course I haven’t forgotten him. I still crave him just as much as I did.
If only he knew how hard it’s been for me to stay away, to try and put him out of my mind. Not just hard—impossible.
It feels like not a day has passed and my stomach hurts from the pain of missing him.
But looking at him now…he seems different. I’m not sure why. There’s something about the way he carries himself that feels like he’s not the same person he was. He seems more at ease. I’m not even sure how to identify it, much less explain it.
“That’s him, isn’t it,” Ramona whispers.
I turn my attention to her. “What?”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. How dumb do you think I am? The way you’re looking at that guy, it’s like you want to have all his babies.”
The flush that steals over my face and neck betrays my thoughts. “I stopped seeing him two months ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“No?” She raises a brow.
I sigh. “We don’t work,” I say. “We’re not right together.”
“You haven’t even talked to him since then. How do you know?”
The challenge resonates in me. She’s right. I haven’t seen Hale in this setting. I have so many unanswered questions, too. Would the answers make a difference in how I feel about us? I don’t know. But part of me wants to find out. A big part of me.
“Look.” Ramona sighs and stares hard at me. “You’ve been a mess since you two stopped seeing each other. You should go over to him. At least say hi.”
“I can’t,” I breathe. Making myself that vulnerable to him? No way.
“That man wants you,” she retorts. “Get your ass over there or I will, and you probably won’t like what I tell him.” There’s a wicked smile on her face. “Maybe I’ll mention that dirty dream you had about him.”
I gasp. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would, if it makes you stop acting like a moron.” She practically shoves me out of my seat. “Go say something, or I’m going to make it worse.”
She would too. I totally believe it. Ramona has a stubborn look in her eyes that tells me she isn’t fucking around.
I shoot a glare at her, but I rise out of my seat. Press my trembling hands to my stomach in an attempt to calm myself down. Walk over to the bar, where Hale is serving customers.
I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to dive down and hope he doesn’t see me. Which is a stupid impulse. He already did.
When I get up there, Hale’s eyes are locked on mine. He’s pouring a beer for a customer. Neither of us speaks for a moment.
Finally I clear my throat. “Um. Hi.”
“Hey.” The tension on his face is striking, and I don’t know what to say, what to do. This was a mistake. Why am I here? Stupid Ramona. I let her talk me into this.
I turn to leave.
“Wait.” There’s a thread of something in his voice that tugs at my chest, and I freeze. “Phoebe. Hold on a second.”
<
br /> At his words, I stop in place. I can’t help it. My body halts of its own volition. It craves him, no matter how much I try to deny it.
Hale moves to stand in front of me. I do my best to breathe normally. To not remember what it felt like to have his body against mine. His scent seared on my skin. I find myself swaying toward him, and it costs me so much to stop, to keep my body locked in place.
Oh God, I miss him. And I hate myself for it.
Hale looks down at me, his eyes shrouded, unreadable. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I shrug, hoping it looks like a casual gesture. “My friend wanted to come here. She heard good things about it.”
Hale doesn’t respond. Just looks down at me, those eyes piercing me. Seeing right through me.
I can’t help it. The words fly out of my mouth. “Why didn’t you show up for your fight?”
His sigh sounds pained. “I went to the police station instead.”
I find myself stilling. I don’t want to let myself believe something before he confirms it. “Oh?”
He nods. “Butch is back in prison for violating parole and attempted murder.”
Wow. So he must have been the one. The look on his face says it all. He turned his father in…despite his protestations that he wouldn’t rat on him. I’m not sure what to think.
“So what have you been doing?” he asks me, quickly changing the subject. “Working on any other events?”
“No,” I say lightly. “I quit. I got into business school. I’m working on an advanced degree.”
“No shit,” he murmurs, his eyes alight with admiration. “Good for you.”
I should appreciate the kindness he’s extending me. I should, but I can’t. Because my heart is hurting too much. Missing him painfully. And knowing he made these changes in his life but couldn’t do it when we were together? It guts me.
I give a curt nod and turn around to walk away. My eyes are stinging, and I don’t want him to see. Don’t want to be vulnerable.
“Phoebe.” He touches my elbow—not a command to stop, but more of a request. “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”
The words make me spin around and face him. “What?” I’m flabbergasted. He wants to go out with me? How do I even feel about that?
I look around at this restaurant he’s built up. I see the effort—not just in the place, but in him. Hale walked away from boxing, a violent career, to be here and dedicate his time to growing his business. That says a lot about him.
And he turned his father in. Something I never would have expected.
“When?” I find myself asking.
There’s a small smile on his face. “Right now. Wait right here for a moment.” He darts over and talks to one of his employees, who nods and gives him a broad smile, then comes back over to me. “Are you free? Tell me you’re free.”
“Um. I have a friend here. I need to talk to her.” I point to Ramona, who has a shit-eating grin on her face as she smiles and waves. “Um, give me a sec?”
When I go over to her, she laughs. “Girl, unless you’re telling me you’re leaving here to get laid by that sexy piece of meat, I don’t even wanna hear it.”
“Are you okay if I go?” I ask, concerned. “I don’t wanna ditch you.”
“Have you met me?” She winks. “I’m fine. Go, please. I’m tired of seeing your sad face.” She leans over and hugs me, whispers in my ear, “Please, be happy. You deserve to smile.”
I press a kiss to her cheek and pull back. “I think he can make me happy.” I can see a definite change in him. He’s not the man who came to my apartment two months ago. This man is more self-confident, less emotionally erratic. He’s in control. And he’s hypnotic. I’m watching as he talks to his staff, finding his confidence and assertiveness so arousing.
I want him. More than ever.
Hale grabs a full bag, then takes my hand. “You ready?”
I nod. My heart is in my throat. Just feeling his hand in mine has me shaking.
We get in his car, and he drives for a few miles. We go to a park and he pulls into the parking lot, shutting off the car.
“There’s a place back in the woods I want to show you,” he says. “It’s just a small hike.” He grabs the bag and then locks his car.
We walk down the lane quiet, side by side. I can hear his soft breaths, mine mirroring his. Birds chirp around us. The trees are beginning to spot with color, barely visible in the almost setting sun.
We make it to a clearing, and Hale points toward the sun. “This is the best spot to watch the sunset.” He whips a blanket out of his bag and lays it down. We sit, and he spread out the food.
We’re quiet for a moment as we observe the sun sink into the horizon. I can’t help but be hyperaware of him. The heat of his body pouring toward mine. His soft breaths. His strong hands. God, I was fooling myself to think I ever got over this man. I was stupid, a total fool. There was no getting over Hale. There was just denying and ignoring.
As the last strips of orange and pink fade from the sky, Hale turns to me. I can’t read the emotion in his eyes until he leans toward me and strokes my cheeks. “I’ve fucking missed you so much.”
I want to spill out all my feelings, how much I missed him too, but I’m scared. He walked away from me so easily before. Am I just setting myself up to be hurt again? Why am I here? Is this foolish? I swallow and look at him.
“Phoebe,” he continues in a quiet voice. “My life has changed so much. I’m not the man you knew before. I listened to what you said. I…” He pauses. “I went to the police and told them what my father did.”
I suck in a sharp breath. I don’t even know what to say. I thought he’d done it, but hearing him admit to it out loud is something else altogether.
I’m not used to Hale talking about himself like this.
Wow. I’m speechless.
His thumb strokes my cheek, and he draws my face closer. “I don’t deserve you. But I’m sure as fuck trying to be better. I want to be worthy of you.” He pauses. “Phoebe, I fell in love with you. And there isn’t a thing in the world that can stop the feelings I have for you.”
My hand flies up to my mouth in shock. I don’t even know what to say. To imagine that he could possibly feel this way about me…that I’m not the only vulnerable one…
I give in. I can’t fight it anymore. I lean forward and brush my lips against his.
And then I’m gone. Hale has wrapped his arms around me and pressed me to the blanket, and I’m tugging him closer and opening my mouth for him. I need him. Crave him. The space, the distance has eaten me alive.
I have missed him painfully.
Hale tugs at my clothes, and I let him strip me bare, let the warm spring air caress my skin. His hands are all over me, his mouth licking at my flesh. He’s on top of me, warming me, making my skin tighten and my body throb for him.
“I love you,” he whispers against my collarbone, pressing a gentle kiss there.
My heart stutters at the soft words. Do I dare be vulnerable to him? What if he hurts me again?
He must be able to sense my hesitation, my fear. He cups my cheek and looks down at me. The honesty in his eyes floors me. I’ve never seen him this open before. It’s surreal. “Phoebe. I have never felt this way about anyone before. You inspired me to change my life and be the best person I could be. Even if I never saw you again.”
Something chips away at my heart. I think it’s the ice frozen around it. I suck in a ragged breath. “I’m just…I’m scared.”
He gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. “I know, sweetness. And if you give me another chance, I promise I’ll never make you feel that way again.”
I rub my body against him. I can’t help it. The way he feels is magnetic. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” I murmur.
He groans and presses his forehead to mine. “I…don’t have protection.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m on the pill.”
He stares
hard at me. “You sure?”
I nod. There isn’t anything I want more right now than to feel him inside me.
Hale strips his clothes off and covers me again, bare skin on bare skin. It’s erotic. I spread my thighs apart to welcome him inside me.
When he slides in, bare, I gasp. Oh God, he feels so damn good.
Hale drops a hand between our legs and fondles my clit. “I fucking need you to come for me,” he says as he thrusts his cock in me. He’s driving me right to the edge with his touch, with the way he’s fucking me.
I buck against him, my orgasm building. My body is on fire for him, my breasts throbbing, my pussy pulsing in rhythm with my rapid heartbeat. “Please,” I whisper, grinding against him. “Please.”
Hale’s cock pounds me harder, and he grunts as he grips my hair and tugs my head back, exposing my throat. “Fuck yes,” he murmurs, licking the flesh there, making me shudder. Oh God, he’s so hot, and his fingers are devilish…
I’m so close…
And then I’m over the edge, flying, screaming his name and humping his hand and cock, and he’s right behind me, clenching me, his mouth buried in my throat, our bodies tangled.
It takes me a moment to come down. My whole body is trembling from the force of what I just felt. Holy God, that was amazing.
He withdraws from me but doesn’t let me go. Instead, he curls my backside against his front. His hand is stroking my side, and I feel tears spring to my eyes from the gentle gesture.
This man breaks me apart in all the best ways. But can I trust it?
I clear my throat and force myself to say, “I don’t want you to give up fighting if you feel it’s good for you.”
His hands still.
I continue. “I thought a lot about my past. What you do in the ring is different than what my birth father did when he was violent at home. I’m sorry I entangled those up. That wasn’t right.” By the end of my speech, my voice is brittle with emotion.
Hale’s soft hand reaches up to stroke my hair, and I feel my anxiety start to sooth. My body relaxes. He doesn’t speak for a moment, just touches me.
Finally he says, “I appreciate you saying that, but I realized that fighting is toxic for me—both in and out of the ring. I like myself better now that I’ve stopped.”