by Reid, B. B.
Yay me.
“So,” I said slowly, interrupting their brooding, “is this it or…?”
Houston’s gaze slowly returned to me. I watched his jaw firm before he wordlessly spun on his heel and led me through another doorway. It was a bedroom the size of a standard guest room, and inside was a king-sized bed, a nightstand on each side with trash bins underneath, and another flat-screen spanning the wall it faced. My favorite part of the room was the wall next to the door that had been painted to depict them—Houston, Loren, Jericho, and…Calvin. The aromatic but bitter smell of olive oil suddenly filled my nose.
Calvin should have been the one standing here. Not me. I never thought I’d enjoy filling a dead man’s shoes, but I hadn’t expected to feel so guilty about it either.
As Houston led me through the bedroom until we reached the bathroom, I realized the walkway between the bed and the wall was narrow. The bathroom was about the size of mine at home, which said more for the bus than it did my apartment. It even had a glass shower big enough to fit two people, a sink with plenty of counter space, and a toilet disappointingly not lined with gold.
I felt duped.
Houston and Loren had unconsciously hyped me up for this moment only to show me a normal goddamn toilet. There was no eighteen-karat gold anywhere.
“I wasn’t expecting this,” I blurted honestly.
“Being rich and famous comes with its advantages,” Loren drawled from his perch against the closet by the door. Naturally, he’d mistaken my meaning, and I wisely decided not to share.
“This bedroom is used on an as-needed basis,” Houston informed me. At my confused look, he added. “We share it.”
“You mean, like, we sleep in here together sometimes?” What the hell would be the reason for that?
“It’s interesting that your mind drew that conclusion first, baby fawn.”
Since Loren chose to tease me, I decided to pretend he wasn’t there as I waited for Houston to explain. Rich was the only one who didn’t seem to get off on being cruel, and as usual, he was missing when I needed him. I tried gauging where he went whenever he disappeared, but as expected, neither Houston nor Loren was a welcome fountain of information.
“In the unlikely event that you find yourself needing more privacy than the bunks allow, feel free to use this space.”
Houston waited patiently for me to catch his drift. When I did, I nodded rather than protest, which he didn’t seem pleased about. He was harder to figure out than a quantum mechanics equation. Why even offer the possibility in the first place? No, scratch that. The better question was why it mattered to him if I slept with anyone.
And that was when I caught on to something he’d said.
“Why unlikely?”
“What?” he snapped a little too aggressively.
“You said in the unlikely event I need to fuck someone in here,” I paraphrased while returning some of his aggression. “Why is that unlikely?”
“He misspoke,” Loren dismissively answered for him. Just as I felt my shoulders began to relax, he added, “What he really meant was there isn’t a chance in hell of that happening.”
Finally, Loren had my undivided attention, which seemed to be what he wanted anyway. “Yeah?” I crossed my arms as I faced him. “Why is that?”
“Because we don’t allow groupies with dicks on board.”
“Let me guess. New rule?” Loren stubbornly chose not to answer as he stared me down. “Does this mean you won’t be bringing groupies with pussies on board?”
Chuckling, he straightened before flicking imaginary lint off his open shirt. “No can do, baby fawn. It’s tradition.”
“Ah, but a new member means new traditions, so let’s see,” I teased as I tapped my chin while pretending to think. “How about…if you’re getting laid on tour, so am I.”
I had no intention of fucking anyone but being told I couldn’t by a misogynistic prima donna meant the gloves came off.
“Sounds promising,” Loren returned with a smile I didn’t trust. He took a step forward, his salacious grin turning feral.
I had the feeling I was one wrong move from being tossed on the bed and fucked. Afraid of how much I wanted that, I started backing up. I only made it two steps before I ran into a hard chest.
Houston.
Why wasn’t he stopping Loren? He hadn’t said a word all this time. Why?
I was afraid to look over my shoulder. I knew I’d see the same hunger in Houston’s eyes that Loren was taunting me with now. What would I do then? I could ignore their desires, but I was powerless against mine.
Another step, and Loren now stood over me with Houston at my back. “You have your pick of dicks already on board, baby fawn. Enough to have a good time. Just say the word, and one of us will service you.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Oh, I’m filthy, baby. You’re fucking right about that.”
My mouth filled with the decadent burst of juice, sweet and thick like syrup, just as the refreshing balm of a meadow and its mysterious meaning returned. By then, I was lost in Loren’s black gaze. I knew what he was waiting for. My lashes fluttered as I drifted toward him. I was done paying for past sins. I felt more alive when I was damned.
I was standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to either fall or fly, when I felt strong hands on my hips. It took me a moment longer to realize they were keeping me at bay.
The heat left Loren’s gaze, and the rage that took its place seemed endless as he glared at Houston. “Let her go.”
Houston’s hands tightened even though I hadn’t moved an inch. “Nothing’s changed, Lo.”
“Hasn’t it?” Loren challenged. He didn’t wait for an answer before moving to grab me.
Houston was quicker since he was already touching me, and I was yanked backward before being blocked by Houston’s back. Stumbling, I slammed my hand on the wall to catch my balance. Neither of them noticed as they faced off with one another. I couldn’t see Houston’s face, so I watched Loren’s nostrils flare.
“You don’t get a say in where I stick my dick.”
“She’s one of us now,” Houston maintained. “That means she’s off-limits.”
It was a rather convenient time for him to finally admit it, but pride flared in my chest anyway. Unfortunately, it only made me feel guilty for nearly giving in to Loren. Sleeping with my bandmates wasn’t just against Houston’s rules. It was against mine.
“She’s only off-limits if she says so.”
The sound of my heart beating was louder and scarier than thunder when the room fell silent. Could they hear it? I struggled with too many emotions at once. I wanted too many things. I’d already made my decision, but my body wanted to renege.
“I say so,” I answered, thankfully without any of the reluctance I felt. “I’m not some excuse for the two of you to be at each other’s throats. My only desire is to be treated as an equal and to get through this tour in one piece.” Meeting Loren’s gaze, I let the rest of my decree rip my heart in half. “Everything else is just noise.”
Betrayal flitted across Loren’s beautiful features. He’d offered those words to me in comfort and encouragement, and I used them as a weapon against him. His lips curled, and I told myself that I deserved the punishment that followed.
“Hard facts, Fawn.” My soul felt like the imaginary lint he’d flicked off his shirt moments ago. I thought I hated his pet name for me until he cruelly deprived me of it. “You’re not our equal. You’re barely a step above a groupie, so don’t kid yourself.” Turning on the heel of his expensive shoes, my heart trapped underneath, Loren started to leave the room. Stopping at the threshold, he looked over his shoulder. “And just so we’re all on the same page, Houston doesn’t respect you any more than I do. He wants you, too, but he tells himself he can’t have you. And if he can’t, no one can. Your savior is just a selfish bastard.”
Loren was gone before my mind could untwist itself. He couldn’t fuck my body
, so he’d settled for my head. Houston stood there, watching the space where Loren had just been, his fists balled and muscles bunched tight. I patiently waited for him to turn and deny Loren’s claim.
He never did.
They had a lot of goddamn nerve.
Even though Houston was a hypocrite and Braxton was a tease, I wasn’t angry at them. I fucked up. I reacted in the heat of the moment only to regret it later—story of my miserable life. A girl didn’t want to sleep with me? Big fucking deal. Someone was willing on every corner.
Braxton was different, but she was no less willing, and if Houston hadn’t intervened, I’d be rearranging her guts right now. What irritated me most was that I’d lashed out like a prepubescent boy when I didn’t get my way.
I wasn’t going to apologize. I doubt either was expecting one, and it wouldn’t change the fact that I wasn’t a nice guy. Unlike Houston and Jericho, I wouldn’t pretend to be noble.
We’d been on the road for a couple of hours now with six or seven more to go. Vegas was the third city of the tour and our fourth and fifth shows. I was just eager to get there. If nothing else got me excited, gambling, music, sex, and now Braxton fucking Fawn did the trick.
I was lying in my bunk with the curtain closed, trying to drown out the sound of her voice as she goofed around with Rich. I hated that he knew how to get a smile out of her. It wasn’t just because I was jealous.
She was the enemy.
A sexy little insurgent.
If it were up to me, I’d drive her ass to the deepest part of the desert and leave her there. Braxton was trouble, and we caused enough on our own.
My phone began buzzing in my pocket, and I planned to ignore it until I heard Braxton laugh at something Rich said. I’m sure she hadn’t meant it to sound sexy…just like Cain hadn’t meant to kill Abel.
Shoving my hand in my jeans, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and accepted the call without opening my eyes. I didn’t care who was on the other end. I needed to drown her out.
“Son.”
Fuck.
I’d been hoping for a telemarketer. Since I couldn’t talk to my friends, it wouldn’t be the first time I gabbed the ear off a nameless, faceless stranger. So far, I haven’t had any complaints. Shit, they called me.
As for my father, I hadn’t heard from him since he kicked me out on my ass and emptied my bank account six years ago. If he hadn’t, I’d be married to some white-stocking deb who only spread her legs for me if the lights were out. Standing on my own had been harder than it looked. A few months more and letting my parents decide every facet of my future would have seemed like a small price to pay.
“Loren James speaking.” I refused to acknowledge that I was his kid.
I heard his heavy sigh and cracked a smile. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah, the phone call clued me in. Besides, we both know you don’t give a shit how I am.” It was evident in the fact that he hadn’t bothered to ask. I’ve only ever known three types of people: those who cared, those who pretended, and my father.
“You know I’m not one to mince words, boy.”
My jaw tightened, and the only thing restraining me was fear of cracking a tooth. I didn’t spend years keeping my smile flawless to waste one on him. “It’s been six years, Father.”
“Precisely. It’s been six years. It’s time you stop goofing around with your friends and come home.”
“Hard pass.”
“Loren,” my father said on a sigh as if he were weary already from our thirty-second talk after six years of silence. “Son—”
“I’m not your son, remember? That’s what you said when you threw me out.”
“We both did things we regret,” he returned, and I recognized it for the bait that it was.
“That’s where you’re wrong. At least it got one of us far away from you.”
“Your mother wants you home.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “So? Ornaments are meant to be seen, not heard. She served her purpose twenty-eight years ago.”
“Do not talk about your mother that way.”
Pulling my lips back, I bared my teeth as if he could see me. “Why not? You do.”
“You’re a grown man. I’m not going to coddle you. It’s no secret your mother and I aren’t happy, haven’t been for years, but that’s none of your concern.”
“Is this why you called me? To whine about your marriage? You can afford a licensed therapist, Father. You don’t need me.”
I was ready to hang up when his next words stopped me. “If you come back home, I’ll retire early, and the empire I built will be yours. You have my word.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’ve underestimated your stubbornness. I don’t approve of your method, but the fact still is that you thrived. As a self-made man, I respect that. As my sole heir, your place is here. Come home, take my place as head of the company, and you’ll have full control.”
Orson James hadn’t inherited his fortune as I would have if he hadn’t tossed me away. He’d amassed it from nothing using his uncanny ability to exploit the desires of anyone in his way.
My father had just offered mine on a silver platter.
Without me, he had no one to ensure the fruits of his labor wouldn’t dissolve like a biodegradable waste after he was gone. In retrospect, I should have seen this coming, but unlike him, I’d overestimated his stubbornness.
“And you think that’s good enough? You think I want to come back?”
“I know you, son. You think that I don’t, and I understand why, but I’m your father. If you were truly happy, you wouldn’t have answered the phone. You wouldn’t still be talking to me. Come home, and my kingdom is yours. I’ll even let you marry whom and when you wish.”
Even though my mind was still racing, I answered my father.
“Anything else?” I didn’t want him to know that I was considering it, and he wouldn’t care that I hated myself for being tempted. I should have been elated. I should have been jumping at his offer. The problem wasn’t just that I didn’t trust him. It was also because it meant letting go of my friends who I hated. Figures.
“Yes. You have three months to decide.”
“Three months? Seriously? Cut the crap, pops. You know I’m on tour. I literally just left California two hours ago.”
“If the decision to abandon your friends is hard for you, ask yourself if you’re truly irreplaceable to them. You’re my son. I think the answer is quite clear whether or not you are to me.”
It took me several stunned seconds to realize he’d hung up. Still shocked, I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at the screen. The background happened to be an old shot of Houston, Jericho, and me laughing at some shit I can’t remember because it’s been so long since we shared moments like these. Several minutes passed, and I was still trying to decide if I’d dreamt the whole thing.
The faint sound of something hitting the floor, followed by a gasp that was too delicate, caught my attention. I ripped back the privacy curtain that shielded me in my bunk and found Braxton standing there, her already round eyes bugging out of her head. I wasted no time climbing out of my bunk, and then I made a dick move by towering over her in the cramped space.
“What’s your problem, Fawn?”
“I—what?”
“Why are you standing here like I’m about to ax you?”
I watched as her attitude returned, and she tried and failed to look like she wasn’t intimidated by my closeness. I would have laughed if the conversation with my father wasn’t playing in my head on repeat.
“Maybe because you’re looking at me like you are?”
“How much did you hear?” I demanded, cutting to the chase.
Of course, she chose to play stupid.
“What?”
“You were eavesdropping on a private conversation.” Pushing forward until she was trapped, I rested my forearms on the top bunk she’d claimed. I didn’t wan
t to think about the fact that it was directly across from mine. “Someone should teach you some manners.”
She snorted, looking genuinely amused. “And you’re the man for the job? That’s like the pot teaching the kettle how not to be black.” She rolled those innocent looking eyes that hid the wickedness beneath.
“You know what else is rude?” I chose to ignore everything she’d just said.
“No.” Her eyebrows dipped as a wary look entered her eyes. This one was smart. “What?”
“Offering to let me fuck you and then crashing the party before it even started.”
“I didn’t offer—”
“You did,” I cut her off before she could lie. “I know a woman who wants to be fucked when I see one.”
She chewed on her lip before looking away. “Call it a momentary lapse in judgment.”
“I had time to think about your momentary lapse and came to a conclusion.”
Still refusing to meet my gaze, she shot back, “I’m holding my breath until I hear it.”
And she wondered why I was slowly becoming obsessed.
“You said yes to me.” Her alarmed gaze flew to me, and I smiled. Rich might have a knack for making her smile, and Houston had mastered making her obey, but I was the only one who lowered her guard. Enough to be vulnerable. “And no one can take that away, baby fawn. Not even you.”
“I may not be able to take it back, but I can make sure it never happens again.”
Pressing forward until there was no space left between us, I enjoyed the feeling of her soft body against mine as her breathing became short and quick. “You’re trying to piss me off.”
“Am I? I’d rather not see you throw another tantrum. Can you back up, please?”
Instead of doing as she asked, I studied her. She kept swallowing between pants as if she tasted something, only to sniff the air as if she’d find the answer there. It was subtle and easy to miss if I weren’t standing so close. My stomach clenched as a thought occurred to me.
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you, Braxton?”