by Reid, B. B.
We were both too on edge to linger.
It was chaotic as hell, but eventually, we made it to the top of the tower. It was there the tension that had been brewing all through dinner exploded.
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, and we didn’t stop even when we knew we were being photographed and recorded.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered against my lips.
“No sweat,” I said as I swallowed the cherries. “I think the cat was kind of already out of the bag, you know?”
The look Houston gave me made it clear that I was provoking him. And then he sighed. “Fawn.”
“What are you sorry for?” I asked him with an evil smile. I already knew, but I needed to hear him say it.
“I’m sorry for not being a better man to you and a better friend to Rich. It wasn’t my place to tell you about Emily, but I should have fought harder to convince him.” Houston’s jaw tightened as he looked away, over the railing, and out to the city that promised romance beyond. “Even now, I’m conflicted. I chose him over you once, and I won’t do it again, but I ca—”
No longer indignant, I felt my legs tremble at the emotion in his voice and the words he couldn’t bring himself to say for fear of what they might cost us. Houston looked at me then, meeting my eyes, and I saw the decision not to lie to me again.
One by one, those shards pieced themselves back together.
The cracks were there, but I was no longer afraid of them. Instead, they served as a reminder that love wasn’t meant to be a pristine affair. It was meant to be messy and meant to hurt, but it would always mend if it’s true.
“I’m in love with you.”
It wasn’t what Houston had been trying to say.
But it was the truth his heart required.
Before allowing any others, he had to finally let that one free, and now my feet no longer felt like they were touching the ground.
“I need you to know that and for you to believe me. I need it because…I can’t pretend I’m not afraid of where he is and what he’s thinking. Jericho’s lived with this void, and once it has him, it…Loren’s looking for him right now, but…”
His fear mounted, making it harder for Houston to finish a thought, so why did I understand everything he was trying to tell me? Was it because I felt it too?
Did I really have to ask?
“Then let’s go,” I heard myself say to him. “Let’s go find Jericho.”
Houston’s surprise and his relief lasted for only a second before we were rushing hand in hand for the elevator to take us down. It seemed like an eternity passed before we reached the ground. Houston was on his phone checking for an update from Loren, and as we rushed outside and for the car, a new hour must have dawned.
Over my shoulder, I smiled up at the tower we had left behind as twenty thousand bulbs began to sparkle and wish us luck.
After reading the text that just came through, I quietly exhaled before pocketing my phone.
“So this is your plan then?” I questioned as I made my presence known. The hooded figure sat alone on the green bench, not caring who came along. “You’ll get arrested with your record, and she’ll take you back?” I snorted. “Think again.”
Rich sighed as he continued to sulk at the blue tiled wall in front of him. There was white writing on the dark glossy surface that said the same thing in the few languages I could translate, along with a dozen or so red specks that made no sense to me.
“Fuck off, Lo.”
Ignoring him, I frowned as I looked around. “How the hell did you even get in here?”
“I was good at this once, remember?”
Realizing he was referring to who he’d been with Emily, I rolled my eyes before turning to the square’s security guard. He was the one who’d found Rich lurking after hours. “Pouvez-vous nous donner un moment?” I asked him in rusty French.
The guard hesitated only a moment before nodding and trotting off. Sitting next to Rich on the bench, I got comfortable after looking at the stubborn set of his mouth.
“How did you even find me?” he snapped.
“Night guard’s a fan.”
I didn’t bother to elaborate any further because it didn’t matter how I got here as long as I was here. For the moment, Rich was too much of a jackass to see it.
“Lucky me,” he mumbled.
“Would you rather be in jail for trespassing?”
“Yes.”
I stared at his hard profile for a moment. “I take it things didn’t go well with Braxton this morning?” He didn’t bother to respond because I already knew the answer, so I tried a different tactic to keep him talking. Anything to keep him from sinking too deep inside his head where all the fucked-up thoughts resided. There would be too many casualties trying to get him out if he gave into them even once. “So, what now?”
“I’m leaving.”
I frowned at his announcement as I sat up. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Bound.” He shook his head as he stared at the ground now. “I can’t do this shit anymore.”
“Let me guess,” I drawled through a smile that felt tight. Wasn’t a damn thing funny about what he had said. “You’ll run back into Emily’s frail-ass arms?”
“Fuck Emily, and fuck you too.” He looked at me now, his silver eyes aflame and full of accusation. “After what you did, I wouldn’t be surprised if her baby was yours,” Rich spat.
Don’t slap him, Lo.
“I would have never fucked that bitch with your dick. That kid isn’t mine, and I’m betting both of my nuts it’s not yours either.”
“Whatever.”
“You’re not leaving,” I told him immediately. I wasn’t going to beat around the bush or beg. The same threat I made Braxton applied to my best friends too. In fact…as Rich and I sat stewing in silence, I fished out my phone and pulled up Amazon. Damn, I wished I still smoked. After a few taps, I found the items I needed.
“You can’t make me stay,” Rich said in a low tone as I concentrated on my task.
Was sixty feet enough?
I ordered three of each before checking out, sending a quick text, and putting my phone away. “Don’t be so melodramatic.”
“You’d do the same, so don’t pretend you’d stay.”
“There are a few things I would have done differently, starting with Emily, but I won’t beat a dead horse because the shit is starting to stink. Braxton isn’t Emily, Rich. You and I both know that no time or distance will change how you feel about her. So she needs you to suffer and grovel for a while. Are you telling me she’s not worth it?”
“You weren’t there, Lo. She sounded so damn sure that I had no chance.”
I absently shrugged as I stared off. “Women.”
I could feel his stare after a while and finally met his incredulous gaze.
“Are you supposed to be helping?”
Peering over my shoulder when I saw movement, I felt myself relax. Fucking finally. “Nope,” I answered him even as I stared at Braxton’s sexy ass in that red dress. Suddenly “stunning” seemed like too cheap a word to describe my baby girl. “I’m supposed to be stalling.”
Rich frowned until he heard their footsteps and turned his head enough to see them. Forcing myself to look away from Braxton, I watched him rise to his feet slowly and turn, an involuntary movement he probably wasn’t even aware of. I couldn’t see Rich’s face underneath his dark hood, but his emotions belonged to me as much as they did to him. It was all I needed to know.
“You’re really going to make me chase you?” Braxton fussed as she approached.
Yeah, I’d snitched. Houston hung back to give them the space to work out their shit properly this time.
“How is that fair, Jericho? You lied to me.”
“I promise that’s not what I’m trying to do. I just wanted to make it right.”
“Then stay.”
I could tell he’d looked away when she followed his gaze. “I can’t.
”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t watch.”
“What can’t you watch, Jericho?”
“You, them, and not me too. They deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”
“And you?” She’d been inching closer the entire time they spoke as if he were a skittish kitten. “What do you deserve? Do you even know?”
“No.”
“Don’t you want me anymore?” she asked, her voice shaking and making it clear that she was no longer sure. Houston, Rich, and I had nearly identical reactions at almost the same time.
I held back my groan as my eyes closed, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was pretty sure I’d murder Rich if he lied to her on some self-sacrificing bullshit. If there was an excuse to be selfish, it was now.
Choose wisely, motherfucker.
“Of course, I do.”
“Prove it.”
I was proud of the confidence restored in her tone. I didn’t want her crying anymore, not over him, not over Houston…not even over me.
“How?” Rich asked her eagerly.
“Stay.” He stepped closer to her, and she let him into her space. “I’m not going to make it easy for you,” she warned him when his hands gripped her ass, and he pulled her closer. “In fact, I’m going to make it as hard for you as I can.”
After pulling his hood back, I finally saw his smile. Seemed like it’d been a while. “You already did,” he swore to her.
He was definitely talking about this dick.
Rolling my eyes, I looked away as I slowly stretched and yawned. “Mission accomplished. Everyone’s in love. Can we go now?” I snapped as I stared at the wall.
The night was still young, but I’d never been this exhausted.
Now that we had Braxton back, I felt like I could sleep for days.
I must have drawn Braxton’s attention to the wall because she broke away from our drummer to stand before it. “What does it say?” she asked no one in particular.
Since I was the only one who knew, I answered her question. “I love you.”
She whirled around to look at me and blushed when I held her stare.
Yeah, that’s right, baby. I love you.
“All of it?” Her brows rose.
“I can only read a few of them, but that seems to be the gist.” I shrugged.
“And the red pieces?” she inquired.
I was silent since I had no fucking clue, but I was curious, so I stood and moved until I stood at the wall next to Braxton. Houston and Rich did the same until we all stood together, staring at “I love you,” written in over two-hundred languages.
“It’s a heart.” Braxton’s head swiveled toward Rich. Of course, his angst-riddled ass had to be the one to crack the code. “One heart torn apart by love. Or lack thereof. It could symbolize anything.”
“What do you think it means?” Braxton asked him.
Jericho was quiet as he stared at the wall. I’m sure he already knew the answer since he’d been staring at it for hours. “Pain isn’t singular. We’re not alone, no matter how much it seems that way. Someone out there feels it too, and if we ever meet, we could bring our broken pieces together. We could bind them and form one heart.” He looked into her brown eyes. “We could be Bound.”
Nice.
Braxton melted, and I smirked.
Rich was good for something, after all.
He looked at me over her head like he’d heard my thoughts. When Braxton turned to me, I made sure to school my expression. We weren’t quite out of the dog house yet.
“We can go,” our little dictator decided after she’d taken a few pictures of the wall.
I knew she’d post them on her Instagram later, but at least it wouldn’t be with some nauseating caption spouting bullshit the person who wrote it didn’t even believe.
Braxton was too gangster.
She’d post a heart. Enough said.
We turned to leave, and I scooped her into my arms the moment she took a step forward and winced.
“Thanks,” she said with a relieved exhale once she was settled with her arms around my neck. “New heels. I haven’t broken them in yet.”
“I know.” I gazed down at her as the four of us left the garden square to get started on the rest of our lives together. “Can I fuck you in them sometime?”
I was feeling pretty optimistic about our future when she smiled.
Today marked one year since meeting Houston, Loren, and Jericho.
It’s been three months since Paris. Three blissful months spent touring Europe. There were no more lies and no more secrets.
Loren told me about being left for dead after convincing his mother to leave her abusive marriage. He told me his father’s offer if he quit Bound and came home, and then he made it clear that it wasn’t happening now or ever. He even confessed his part in ruining Rich’s marriage.
Jericho told me about his time in foster care and group homes. He told me about meeting Emily…and the things she made him do to prove that he loved her. What he didn’t tell me, but I pieced together on my own, was that she’d taken advantage of his search for an unbreakable bond and used him like her personal puppet.
My heart broke for him.
It broke for that lonely, desperate kid who couldn’t see that he’d already found it with Houston and Loren.
Jericho had signed that deal with Savant to give his wife the life she demanded so that he wouldn’t have to steal and hurt and destroy anymore. He’d given his soul for Emily, and she ruined him in return.
Even with all that honesty, I was left to wonder what skeletons Houston was hiding in his closet. He didn’t seem to have any, but neither had Jericho.
They were tortured, yes.
We all were.
But I was praying there was nothing else waiting to jump out of the bushes and bite us.
That reason and curiosity were why I agreed to meet Houston’s grandmother. The three of them had planned for us to meet the first time they brought me home, but I ran away before they could arrange it, so this time, they weren’t taking any chances.
It’s barely been an hour since we’d returned to Portland, and we were already on our way. The second leg was done, and we had a month before the tour continued until ending for good in May.
I smiled to myself as we quietly rode through the city in the Suburban that had been waiting for us when the private plane landed.
I couldn’t wait to get back to their fort.
Or, as Loren called it, the treehouse.
Houston and Rich refused to acknowledge either truth.
I immediately realized where they’d gotten their love for Victorian architecture when we pulled up to the blue two-story on a small hill with white framing the windows and doors and a dark brick roof. The neighborhood was quiet since it was a late Tuesday morning, long after kids had gone to school, and parents had left for work.
It was raining too.
I tried not to take that as an omen as the steady fall washed away the two inches of snow that had fallen recently.
The car stopped, and I looked to Houston, who was already studying me from his seat next to me in the back row.
“Ready?”
Exhaling slowly, I nodded my response while wishing he’d give something away. He was tense too, but I didn’t know why since Loren and Rich both seemed excited. They were already hopping out of the truck, and neither waited for us before rushing for the front door and disappearing inside.
Houston kissed my fingers, climbed out, and helped me once he was on his feet. He said something to the driver that I didn’t catch because I couldn’t hear over my heartbeat.
I’d never done this before.
Houston and Loren weren’t the only ones who’d never been in a relationship. Rich was the only one with experience, and considering how well that worked out…yeah, I was nervous.
Rich didn’t have parents for me to meet, and Loren’s sounded like real tools, so luckily, this
might be the only time I’d ever go through this.
What if she didn’t like me?
I knew Houston, Loren, and Jericho. It wouldn’t change a thing, but…I’d like her to anyway—for them more so than me. I took a deep breath and exhaled once we reached the double front doors. I could hear voices on the other side, and they sounded happy. I just hoped my presence wouldn’t change that.
Here goes everything.
@Em_Anon: Watch your back. He’s mine.
I snorted at the tweet before tossing my phone back down on the lumpy twin mattress next to me. Lying on my back, I hummed “Light My Fire” by The Doors as I stared at the ceiling and the dead rock star hanging from it. It figured Loren would idolize the most unpredictable rebel of his time and perhaps even ours still.
I was still staring at the poster of the shirtless Jim Morrison with his arms up, palms forward and splayed like he was saying “make way” when my attention was stolen by someone stepping inside the small bedroom.
“There you are.”
Loren slowly walked to the foot of his old bed and stopped. He was eating yet another one of the cookies Houston’s grandmother, who they all called Mom, had made in the eight hours since we arrived.
No one seemed in a rush to leave, including me, after learning how open and warm Houston’s grandmother turned out to be. She didn’t even blink when Houston, Loren, and Jericho told her they were all dating me. Perhaps she’d already heard the rumors, but her lack of reaction had still taken me by surprise. If they hadn’t already told me otherwise, I’d think I wasn’t the first girl they’d shared before.
Laine Morrow made me miss my own grandmother, who had been my only source of friendship before I lost her to cancer when I was fourteen. In a way, she’d been an outcast too but refused to leave Faithful because she enjoyed making people squirm.
I smiled at the memory of her, even as the room began to smell like roses.
“Here I am.” Loren wasted no time crawling onto the bed, and after kissing my lips, he lay beside me. “Interesting choice to hang over your bed,” I said, ending the comfortable silence that followed.
In my peripheral, I saw Loren smirk. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not picky about gender.”