“You can turn around. I’m not naked,” she said, half laughing.
He wasn’t sure exactly what to say, so he went with the first thing that came to mind. “Sorry, your morning breath... Damn, woman, let me get you a toothbrush.”
She punched him squarely in the right butt cheek, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to get his attention.
“Hey, now,” he said, turning around. “Most women have to pay to touch that.”
She laughed. “What are you, a stripper or something?”
“I swear I’m only putting myself through college,” he teased, doing a little dance move that made it look like he was twirling a feather boa. He hummed a bawdy song as he tapped his foot.
She laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls. Her joy tore at his resolve, clawing its way through his self-built barricades.
She moved to the edge of the bed and sat up, her legs on each side of his. “Oh, yeah,” she said, laughing as she pretended to flip money at him. “I’ll make it rain.”
He put his hands behind his head and did a hip shake in front of her.
“Oh la la,” she said, but somehow as she put her hands up, he moved into her and her hand grazed against his morning’s gift. “Oh. Hey. Um. I’m. Yeah...” Her cheeks turned crimson.
He stumbled on his feet as he fell backward, slamming against the wall behind him. “Crap,” he said, trying to right himself and gain control over what his body had gotten him into. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I didn’t mean to—”
They both sat there staring at one another for a long moment. She couldn’t have been as embarrassed as he was, and yet, from the color of her face, he was sure that she was.
“I...you...” she started, but stopped.
There was no getting out of this uncomfortable moment; it was best to just acknowledge it. “Yeah, now you are really going to have to lay down some money. That is like VIP room treatment right there.” He laughed in an attempt to cover his unease. “Here, let’s get you dressed. I need coffee before you use me for my body again.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and she opened her mouth. He didn’t know why he did it—maybe it was the laughter on her lips or the joy he felt when he looked into her eyes, but he leaned in and kissed her. She didn’t move away, as he expected. Maybe she was just as surprised as he was; this wasn’t something he had meant to do. It wasn’t something he had even thought about doing, at least not in any real way, and yet, here he was...her tongue glazing over his bottom lip.
She ran her hands over his ass, pulling him into her. She ran her hands up his back, her action forceful, and he felt himself submitting to her will. It felt backward, like he should have been the one to take charge and lead the advance, but at the same time he liked this relinquishing of power. There was something so immeasurably sexy about a woman who took what she wanted and had the confidence to make her wishes known.
She leaned back, not breaking their kiss as she pulled him down on top of her in the bed.
He moved against her, her body answering in kind. His lips trailed down her neck and he unbuttoned her pajama top, revealing her naked breasts. Cupping them, he stared. Her nipples were the color of toffee and, as he popped one in his mouth, they tasted just as sweet. He licked at the nub then rubbed it over his lips like he was marking it as his, yes...forever his.
She arched her back and as she did, her nipple grazed the stubble around his lips and she gasped. He ran his hand down her body, feeling the subtle curves of her stomach and the crests of her hip. Searching for her warmth, the heat drew him in until his fingers found what he yearned to find. He would taste that next.
Rubbing against her, his mouth found her nipple again and he sucked until her breath caught in her throat and he could feel the heat grow under his fingertips. Her wetness soaked through the thin cotton of her pajamas. He lowered his touch, dipping into her, and she lifted her hips to meet him. Trailing his kisses down her stomach, he found her navel. Stopping for a moment, he ran his finger around the indentation.
He’d never thought of a navel as sexy before, but there was no place on her body he didn’t want to see and make his. His heart beat for her, and if she let him, it would beat for her forever.
“You’re right,” she said, touching his hands. “We should stop.”
Holy shit, that had been the furthest thing from his mind. How had she gotten there? All he wanted to do was pull every piece of clothing from her body and make love to her until there was nothing left of him to give.
“Uh,” he said, trying to compose himself.
She moved and he rolled off her. It physically pained him to move from between her legs. It was like he had finally found a place that he wanted to call home and it was being ripped from his grasp.
“I...”
“I know,” she said, stealing his words. “Judy is holding breakfast for us. And I agree that this isn’t a great idea—for a variety of reasons.”
Damn. She wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t make his need for her dissipate.
What hadn’t he done right that she wanted to pull away from his touch? Hell, that she could pull away from his touch? Should he have moved his fingers faster? Should he never have stopped to look at her? Should he have devoured her before she had a moment to collect herself?
He leaned back, adjusting himself. Nope. He respected her boundaries. Hell, maybe he needed to put his up with steel and stone.
Standing up, he moved away from her and smoothed his hair. He ran his hand over his normally well-groomed beard, like it was the reason she had pushed him away. Maybe he needed to shave it off. He nearly shook his head at the thought; he wasn’t giving up his beard. He couldn’t make her want him, but he could stop himself from giving up his facial security blanket.
Before he got any more stupid ideas, he walked to the door. “I’ll meet you down there. Coffee? Cream and sugar?”
“Yes, please. Just black.”
Yep, she was far stronger than he was, though he would never dare to admit that aloud to her. They had to have an equal position of respect if they were ever going to try these kinds of shenanigans again. Maybe that was why she had stopped the advance; maybe she had realized she was about nine miles outside his league. He wouldn’t blame her if she had figured that one out, but until he was sure that she had, he had to try and keep himself in the game.
He made his way down the hall, giving himself a moment to let things settle before he saw Judy. He didn’t need her noticing anything that would make her suspicions about their relationship, burgeoning or otherwise, rise to the surface.
As he approached the kitchen, he was met with the scents of hot coffee, pancakes and bacon.
How had Natalie ever wanted to leave this heaven?
If this was what he had every day, he would just curl up on the couch and never leave.
Okay, maybe that was a little extreme. He did love his job. There was little better than taking out a threat who put those whom he loved and cared about—or was paid to care about—in danger. He was the world’s checks and balances in human form, and with that came an incredible sense of identity and self.
“Good morning, ma’am,” he said, making his way around the corner and into the main room.
Judy was humming away as she did something in the sink and she turned at the sound of his voice. “Good morning. I bet you are hungry. Are you a bacon or sausage guy? What’s your favorite?”
“My favorite is anything you are about to feed me. Seriously, I’m not picky. Just grateful.”
Judy beamed. “Smart man.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, but I would say hungry,” he said with a mischievous grin.
She dried her hands and came over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. The simple action caught him off guard; there was something so European and old-worldly about it that it made him like
this wonderful woman even more.
“Before my daughter gets down here, I want you to know something about her.”
He wanted to know everything, but he was surprised that she would want to help him. Not sure exactly what to say, he nodded.
She looked up at him, studying his eyes for a long moment before giving him a little nod. “I can tell you guys are new to each other. But there is something you need to know about her, if you want to keep her...” Judy looked over her shoulder as if she was checking to make sure that Natalie hadn’t somehow snuck up from behind. “Natalie has been through some hard times. Incredibly hard. But her spirit gets her through. She is like wildfire... You either run with her or you will be consumed.”
He didn’t doubt that for a second.
“I think you need to know, we aren’t—”
“Dating? Oh, I know. I could tell,” Judy said with a wicked smile. “But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something between you two. I can feel it. And I know you can feel it. It is my job, as a parent figure, to make sure that my daughter gets the best things in life.” She grabbed the bacon plate and slid it toward him on the counter. “Now, you just eat up. Let me worry about the rest.”
He took a piece of bacon and stuffed it into his mouth. No matter what he said or thought, he could see that he would be quickly outvoted by the spark plug of a woman. From what he could tell, the warning she had given him about Natalie could have easily been applied to herself—maybe Natalie had become like the woman who’d raised her.
Whatever had caused it, he was honored to be even a minimal part of their experiences in life.
That was all he had ever really wanted to be, decor in other people’s lives. Most people wouldn’t understand this desire, the want to never hold a key role. It was easier to be in on the sidelines, acting as the guard. It was so much easier than actually being forced to feel. To feel made a person real, exposed, raw. It was crazy that Natalie made him want to step into a real role again. Maybe it was just the pull of her lips that had drawn him to her. Maybe it had just been too long since he had been that close to a woman. But as quickly as that thought came to his mind, he brushed it away. She wasn’t just any woman. She was something truly special—she was smart, strong and level-headed. She was everything he had ever wanted.
He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was that made him want to be raw and exposed when it came to her. Until he could figure out what drew him in, he needed to stay emotionally away—or at least at arm’s length. He wouldn’t leave her alone in her moment of need, not when he had the ability to be exactly what she needed to stay safe.
Natalie walked into the kitchen, pulling a white sweater over her head and then patting down her hair, making sure every piece was solidly in place in her ponytail. As she strode over to the plate of bacon he was taken aback—how had he gotten so lucky to have tasted her and felt her warmth on his fingers? He couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest, albeit most confused, man in the world.
She smothered her pancakes in so much warm maple syrup that he considered telling her to just grab a bowl of syrup and crumble some pancake on top, but then he followed her lead.
Judy walked to the refrigerator and took out a can of whipped cream and handed it to her, like this breakfast was some sort of routine the two ladies had been choreographing for years. It was their dance, elegant and smooth, just like the women it belonged to.
She reminded him of a swan. When they fell in love, they did a beautiful dance of head bobs and spins. Suddenly, he wanted to take her in his arms and sweep her around the kitchen, dancing with her in a way that only they could. And yet, such a motion seemed out of place and gauche in their graceful world.
He would always be the door kicker in this world of ballerinas.
Judy was conspicuously quiet as they all sat around and ate; in fact, they barely said a word until each had drunk a full cup of coffee.
Maybe that, too, was part of their routine.
If it was, he loved them both more for it.
Finally, Natalie pushed her plate away and spoke up. “I don’t know about you, Evan, but I need to get back to the city. Would you mind running me home so I can pick up a few things? Then we can come back here, if that’s okay with you?” She looked at Judy.
The older woman sent him a look, but he didn’t know exactly what to make of the question in her eyes.
“I would rather we stay here. I mean, what do you really need that we can’t find at a store?” He tried to send Natalie a look that said there was no freaking way that this would be a good idea—the last thing they should do is stick her head out of the safety of their temporary den.,
He still needed to go through the list of past cases with her more thoroughly, especially the one that had landed in Hanes’s courtroom.
She didn’t look at him.
Did this sudden need to run away from this place have something to do with what had happened between them in her bedroom?
Damn it, he had been so stupid. What had he been thinking in going in for that kiss? Right, he hadn’t been.
This was exactly the kind of nonsense that happened when a person went along with the needs of their body over the requirements of their lives. He had obligations, to his team, to his family and to her. He had compromised his objectives by acting as foolishly as he had.
Maybe if they went back to the city, he could call in one of his teammates and they could take over this security detail...for no money, and out of the goodness of their hearts. After all, it was Hanes who’d originally brought him in, and they were protecting the judge in his hospital room.
He gritted his teeth. Zoey had been behind his helping her; hopefully she could convince someone else from his team to help. A.J. had always been the philanthropist. He would probably step up if he was called.
He should have known that Natalie wasn’t emotionally available, and maybe he wasn’t, either.
Yeah, that was it. Emotionally unavailable. Wall up. Dick off. Life back to normal. He set his jaw.
“You guys are welcome to come and go as you please,” Judy said, sending them each a smile, but her eyes lingered on Natalie. “I think you should stay here as long as your work allows, Natty. I think you need a bit of a break. You are looking a little overwhelmed this morning, even if you did clean up all those scratches I saw yesterday.”
Natalie huffed into her coffee cup as she moved to take a sip. “It was a long night.”
Judy laughed, making a blush rise in his cheeks he wished he could control. And yet, just like these two women, his body’s response seemed to have a mind of its own. Damn if he didn’t love them for it, but hate himself for it at the same time.
“Yeah, maybe it’s best if we head back.” He could sit here and argue why they shouldn’t leave all morning, but the woman of fire was always going to get her way. It was better to have a plan in place for what she needed instead of trying to impose his will. Even if he was the type, it wouldn’t have worked.
He downed his coffee and put the empty cup in the sink. “Thank you for having us, ma’am. I hope to see you again.” He gave Judy a wink and she answered with a sad, reconciled smile. “Natalie, I will meet you outside.”
It felt like he was running away, but he couldn’t handle all the feelings that were whirling around in the kitchen. A moment later he grabbed his wallet and the truck keys from beside the bed, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and by the time he was walking outside he noted Natalie was already there, briefcase in hand.
Apparently, she was in a bigger rush to get out of here than he was.
Judy was nowhere to be seen.
He had no idea what to say, or how he should approach the judge. All he wanted to do was to apologize and tell her that lust had clouded his judgment and the pheromones had reared their ugly heads, but would be kept under better control.
“You and Judy make quite the pair,” he said, making his way out toward her.
Yes, innocuous...it was his only play.
She looked at him and frowned. Had she expected him to just come out and talk about what had transpired between them, or had she been preparing for him to argue the point that they should have stayed at the little farm?
He went into instinct mode, viewing the area around his truck. His scan started at twenty feet out, then ten, and finally five. It was something he always did anytime he got in or out of a vehicle. It was an old habit he had picked up over the pond. Nothing appeared amiss at twenty feet or ten, but when he glanced at the ground near the driver’s-side door, the dirt had been scuffed.
It could have been nothing, but given what had happened yesterday, and the car bomb in the parking lot, he wasn’t going to take any chances.
Natalie leaned against the hood of his truck, waiting for him to open the doors.
“Step away from the truck,” he said, trying not to sound too overly concerned, but serious enough that she would move.
She pushed off from the truck, looking back at it over her shoulder as she rushed to his side. “What is it? Is something wrong?” Her eyes were wide with fear.
He shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing, but I just want to check things out. We don’t want another bombing.”
She visibly relaxed, her shoulders lowering from her ears. “No one knows we’re here. We’re good. You can relax,” she said, waving him off.
“A person is at the most risk when and where they feel the most comfortable.” He tried not to preach, but she needed to make sure she was as committed to her security as he was. “Look there,” he said, pointing at the scuff mark on the ground. “You see that?”
She nodded.
“Overseas, that would be a key indicator that someone had been messing with our rigs.”
“Thankfully, we are not overseas and, like I said, no one knows we are here. You know, you may want to talk to someone about PTSD. You’ve obviously been through a lot and one of the key identifiers in recognizing a person has it is that they begin to see threats in ordinary places.”
A Judge's Secrets Page 7