by Nora Roberts
Breath sobbed out of her lungs, set to grieving by fear and loss. The blood that still stained her fingertips had gone ice-cold.
Rain fell, a steady drumming against the windswept canopy, a sly trickle over lichen-draped bark. It soaked into the greedy ground until the whole world was wet and ripe and somehow hungry.
She forgot if she was hunter or hunted, only knew in some deep primal instinct that movement was survival.
She would find him, or he would find her. And somehow it would be finished. She would not end as a coward. And if there was any light in the world, she would find the man she loved. Alive.
She curled the blood she knew was his into the palm of her hand and held it like hope.
Fog snaked around her boots, broke apart at her long, reckless strides. Her heartbeat battered her ribs, her temples, her fingertips in a feral, pulsing rhythm.
She heard the crack overhead, the thunder snap of it, and leaped aside as a branch, weighed down by water and wind and time, crashed to the forest floor.
A little death meant fresh life.
She closed her hand over the only weapon she had and knew she would kill to live.
And through the deep green light haunted by darker shadows, she saw the monster as she remembered him in her nightmares.
Covered with blood, and watching her.
Fury that was as much hate as fear spurted through her in a bitter kind of power. “Where’s Noah? What have you done to him?”
He was on his knees, his hand pressed to his side where blood spilled out of him. The pain was so huge it reached to the bone, to the bowels.
“Livvy.” He whispered it, both prayer and plea. “Run.”
“I’ve been running from you all my life.” She stepped closer, driven forward by a need that had slept inside her since childhood. “Where’s Noah?” she repeated. “I swear I’ll kill you if you’ve taken someone else I love.”
“Not me. Not then, not now.” His vision wavered. She seemed to sway in front of him, tall and slim with her mother’s eyes. “He’s still close. For God’s sake, run.”
They heard it at the same moment, the thrashing through the brush. She spun around, her heart leaping with hope. At her feet, Sam’s heart tripped with terror.
“Stay away from her.” Sheer will pushed him to stand. He tried to shove Olivia behind him, but only collapsed against her.
“You should have died in prison.” David’s face was wet with rain and blood. The knife in his hand ran with both. “None of this would have happened if you’d just died.”
“Uncle David.” The shock of seeing him, his eyes wild, his clothes splattered, had her stepping forward. With a strength born of desperation, Sam jerked her back, held her hard against him.
“He killed her. Listen to me. He killed her. He wanted her and couldn’t have her. Don’t go near him.”
“Step away from him, Livvy. Come here to me.”
“I want you to run,” Sam said urgently. “Run the way you did that night and find a place to hide. Find Noah.”
“You know better than to listen to him.” David’s smile made her blood go cold. “You saw what he did to her that night. He was never good enough for her. Never right. I’ve always been there for you, haven’t I, Livvy?”
“She never wanted you.” Sam’s voice was slurred and slow as he fought to stay conscious. “She never loved anyone but me.”
“Shut up!” The parody of a smile became a snarl. His face flushed dark and ugly. “It should have been me. She would have come to me if you hadn’t gotten in the way.”
“Oh God. Oh, my God.” Olivia stared at David and braced to take her father’s weight. “You. It was you.”
“She should have listened to me! I loved her. I always loved her. She was so beautiful, so perfect. I would have treated her like an angel. What did he do for her? He dragged her down, made her miserable, only thought of himself.”
“You’re right. I treated her badly.” Sam slumped against Olivia, murmured, “Run.” But she only shook her head and held on to him. “I didn’t deserve her.”
“I would have given her everything.” Tears slipped out of David’s eyes now, and his knife hand dropped to his side. “She would never have been unhappy with me. I settled for second best and gave Jamie everything I would have given Julie. Why should I have settled when she was finally going to divorce you? When she finally saw you for what you were. She was meant to come to me then. It was meant.”
“You went to the house that night.” Sam’s side was numb. He levered himself straight, caught his breath and prayed for the strength to step away from his daughter.
“Do you know how much courage it took for me to go to her, to give her everything that was in my heart? She let me in and smiled at me. She was doing her clippings and having a glass of wine. The music was on, her favorite Tchaikovsky. She said it was nice to have company.”
“She trusted you.”
“I poured my soul out to her. I told her I loved her, always had. That I wanted her. That I was leaving Jamie and we could be together. She looked at me as if I were insane. Pushed me away when I tried to hold her. She told me to leave and we’d forget I’d ever spoken of it. Forget.” He spat the word out.
“She loved my father,” Olivia murmured. “She loved my father.”
“She was wrong! I only tried to convince her she was wrong, I only wanted to make her see. If she hadn’t struggled against me, I wouldn’t have ripped her robe. Then she turned on me, shouted at me to get out of her house. She said she would tell Jamie everything. She said I was scum. Scum! That she would never see me again, never speak to me. I—I couldn’t hear what she was saying, it was so vile. She turned her back on me, turned away as if I were nothing. And the scissors were in my hand. Then they were in her. I think she screamed,” he said softly. “I’m not sure. I don’t know. I only remember the blood.”
His eyes focused again, fixed on Olivia. “It was an accident, really. One moment, one terrible mistake. But I couldn’t take it back, could I? I couldn’t change it.”
She had to be calm, Olivia ordered herself. Her father was bleeding badly. She had no doubt that she could outdistance and lose her uncle in the forest. But how could she leave her father? How could she run away and hide again?
She would stand, protect. And pray for help to come. “You held me while I cried for her.”
“I cried, too!” It enraged David that she didn’t understand. Just like her mother. Just like Julie. “If she’d only listened, it would never have happened. Why should I have paid for that? He’s the one who hurt her; he’s the one who deserved to pay. I had to protect myself, my life. I had to get out. There was so much blood, I was nearly sick.”
“How did you get out of the house and back home?” Olivia asked and strained her ears for a sound—heard only the thrashing of rain. “Aunt Jamie would have seen the blood.”
“I stripped off my clothes, bundled them up. I went outside, to the pool, and washed the blood off. I washed it all away. There were always spare clothes in the changing house, no one would ever notice. I could get rid of my own later, a Dumpster in the city. I went back in the house because I thought it might be a dream. But it wasn’t. I thought I heard you upstairs. I thought I heard you, but I couldn’t be sure.”
“I woke up. I heard Mama scream.”
“Yes, I found out later. I had to get home in case Jamie woke up and realized I’d slipped out. It wasn’t until they brought you to us that I wondered if you’d seen me. I wondered if you’d heard. Twenty years, I’ve wondered. I’ve waited.”
“No, I didn’t see you. I never knew.”
“It would have stayed that way. Everyone put it aside, everyone closed the door, until the book. How could I be sure? How could I know for sure that you hadn’t heard my voice, that you hadn’t looked out the window, seen my car? It ruined my life, don’t you see? I’d done everything to make it work, everything to make up for that one single night.”
“You let my father go to prison.”
“I was in prison, too.” Tears leaked out of his eyes. “I was paying, too. I knew you’d be just like her. I knew when it came down to a choice, you’d choose him. I always loved you, Livvy. You should have been ours. Mine and Julie’s. But that’s over now. I have to protect myself. I have to end it.”
He lunged toward her, leading with the knife.
It was like his dream, the dark, the trees, the murmur of rain and wind. He could run until his heart burst out of his chest and he couldn’t find her. Every rustle had him turning in a new direction, every call of a night bird was the sound of her voice.
The bone-numbing terror that he would be too late, that he would never wake up from this nightmare and find her curled against him, drove him harder.
She was somewhere in the vast, twisting maze of the forest. Somewhere just beyond his reach.
He stopped, leaning against the bulk of a hemlock to clear the tumble of his mind. The air was so thick, every breath he took was like gulping in water. His shoulder was on fire, the white handkerchief tied over the wound long since gone red.
He stood very still for a moment and listened. Was that the murmur of voices, or just the rain? Sound seemed to shoot at a dozen different angles, then swallow itself. The only compass he had now was his gut. Trusting it, he turned west.
This time, when she screamed, he was close.
Sam shoved her clear and, with the little strength he had left, drove his body into David’s. When the knife sliced through him again, he felt nothing but despair. As he staggered and fell, Olivia leaped to her feet and tried to catch him.
It happened quickly, her father slipping out of her hands, the sound of running feet slapping against the saturated ground. And the quick prick of a knife at her throat.
“Let her go.” Noah braced his feet, held the gun in the classic police grip. Fear was a hot river in his blood.
“I’ll kill her. You know I will. Drop the gun, or I’ll slice her throat and be done with it.”
“And lose your shield? I don’t think so.” Oh God, Liv, oh God, don’t move. He gazed quickly at her face, saw the blank shock in her eyes, the thin trickle of red sliding down the slim column of her throat. “Step away from her, step back.”
“Put the gun down!” He jerked Olivia’s head up with the flat of the blade. “She’s dead, do you hear me. She’s dead if you don’t do it now!”
“He’ll kill me anyway.”
“Shut up! Shut the hell up!” He nicked her again, and she saw Noah’s hands jerk, then start to lower.
“Don’t do it. Don’t hurt her.”
“Put it down!”
She heard the roar of their voices in her head, saw the decision in Noah’s eyes. “He’ll kill me no matter what you do. Then he’ll kill you. Don’t let him take someone else I love. Don’t let him win.”
Her hand closed over the cold metal eyes of the scissors, drew them out in one quick, smooth motion, then plunged them viciously into his thigh.
He screamed, high and bright, his knife hand jerking up, then dropping. She shoved her body away from his, yanking the scissors clear. Then held them out as he leaped toward her.
She heard the bullet ring out, one sharp snap. Saw the bright blossom of blood bloom high on his chest and the puzzled shock in his eyes as he fell toward her.
She didn’t step back. And she would never ask herself if she’d had time to do so. The killing point of the scissors slid silently into his belly.
The weight of him bore her to the ground. Before she could roll clear, Noah pulled her up and against him. His arms that had been so steady began to quiver.
“You’re all right. You’re okay.” He said it again, then once again as his hands ran shakily over her. “He cut you.” His fingers brushed gently at her throat. “Oh God, Liv.”
She was crushed against him again, burrowed into him. Her head went light, seemed to circle somewhere just beyond her shoulders. “I thought he might have killed you. I saw the blood and I thought . . . No!” She jerked back, her hands vising on Noah’s face. “Daddy.”
She pulled away and stumbled to the ground beside her father. “Oh no, no, no. Don’t. Please. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Daddy.” She had nothing but her hands to press against his wound to try to stem the bleeding.
“Don’t cry, Livvy.” He reached up to touch her face. “This is the best way for me. My time’s running out, anyway. I needed to see you again. It was the last thing I had to do. You’ve got your mother’s eyes.” He smiled a little. “You always did. I let her down in so many ways.”
“Don’t, please don’t.” She pressed her face to his neck. “Noah, help me.”
“If I’d been what I should have been, what she believed I could be, she’d still be alive.”
“Don’t talk now. We have to stop the bleeding. They’ll find us soon.” Her hands fumbled with the scraps of cloth Noah gave her. “They’re looking, and we’ll get you to the hospital.”
“You’re a smart girl, you know better.” His eyes were clouding over, but they shifted to Noah. “She’s a smart one, isn’t she, Brady?”
“That’s right.” He pressed another scrap of his shirt to the wound in Sam’s side. “So listen to her.”
“I’d rather die a hero.” His short laugh ended in a racking cough. “There’s enough of the old me in here to rather enjoy that. Is that son of a bitch dead?”
“As Moses,” Noah told him.
“Thank Christ for that.” The pain was floating away. “Livvy.” He gripped her hand. “When I was looking for you that night, when you saw me, I wasn’t going to hurt you.”
“I know that. I know. Don’t leave me now that I’ve just gotten you back.”
“I’m sorry, Livvy. I wanted you to look at me once, just once, and know who I was. In the end I kept you safe. Maybe that makes up for all the years I didn’t.” His vision wavered and dimmed. “Write the book, Brady. Tell the truth.”
“Count on it.”
“Take care of my little girl. Kiss me good-bye, Livvy love.”
With tears flooding her throat, she pressed her lips to his cheek. And felt his hand go lax in hers. Her grief was one long, low moan.
Noah sat with her while she cradled her father’s body and wept in the rain.
She slept because Noah poured a sedative down her throat. When she woke, logy with drugs and grief and shock, it was midday.
She heard the birdsong, felt the sun on her face. And, opening her eyes, saw him sitting beside her.
“You didn’t sleep.”
He was already holding her hand. He couldn’t seem to let go. “I did for a bit.”
“Everything that happened, it’s all in my head, but it feels as if it’s wrapped in cotton.”
“Just leave it that way for now.”
He looked so wonderful, she thought. So hers, with his exhausted eyes and stubble of beard. “You saved my life.”
“Just part of the service.” He leaned down to kiss her. “Don’t make me do it again.”
“That’s a deal. How’s your shoulder?”
“Well, I could say it’s nothing, but why lie? It hurts like a bitch.”
She sat up, tugged up the sleeve of his T-shirt and pressed her lips to the bandage.
“Thanks. Why don’t you try to get some more sleep?”
“No, I really need to get out.” She looked into his eyes. “I need to walk. Walk in the forest with me, Noah.”
When she was dressed, she held out a hand for his. “My family?”
“They’re still asleep. Your grandparents were up with Jamie until almost dawn.”
She nodded, started out quietly. “Your parents?”
“In the spare room.”
“They’ll need us, all of them. I need this first.”
They went down the back stairs and left through the kitchen door.
“Your father,” she began. “When they found us, I don’t think he knew whether he was proud
of you or horrified.” She let out a breath, drew another in. “I think he was both.”
“He taught me how to handle guns, to respect them. I know he hoped I’d never have to use one.”
“I don’t know how to feel, Noah. All these years I thought my father was a murderer, the worst kind of murderer. I lost him when