“They feel no pain this way,” Mira assured me when I had first seen her perform the action. “It is instant. It is the easiest death we could give.” She had added, seeing her words gave me reassurance. As I looked over the patterns of its flesh and the way the light reflected off the scales, I could not help but see this creature as a thing of beauty. The sight compelled me, and I called out, giving thanks to the Goddess for its life, as well as its purpose to sustain me.
Making a mental note, I decided to come back tomorrow to catch more. Gathering my things back up, I realized a critical error in my planning. A basket. A basket would have made things easier to gather and carry back home. Walking back through the forest, I spotted the small, strong yet flexible stalks of saplings growing up across the expanse of the landscape. They were just what I needed to craft a sturdy vessel that would suit my needs. On the walk back home, I stopped by the chive patch along the side of the pathway. I knew that the supply was limited and that if I wanted them through the summer and the cooler seasons, I would need to grow a garden. The garden back home was my least favorite spot, solely because Cal worked there. While I loved to fashion roots, leaves, and flowers into medicines, tinctures, wine flavorings, and other assorted items, I possessed little knowledge on how to grow them except for the basics; that once you planted the seed in the dirt, you watered it and hoped it grew. My interest had sent me elsewhere and I had to admit that the garden keeper’s valuable knowledge would have served me well at this very moment.
“It’s just something that you are going to have to figure out,” I told myself, carrying my harvest tightly in my hand. The rest of the night went much like the previous one. I roasted my food over my fire, after building it to a nice, even roar that warmed the space thoroughly. I watched shadows from the flames dance across the walls of the cave and thought about my family. Eweln would have been the first to notice that I was gone but she wouldn’t have told my mother. Instead, knowing her in the way that I did, she would quietly go back to her hut until one of them came to her.
“Never give any information unless asked directly,” She told me just after my education began and we were collecting wildflowers in the fields. I didn’t understand her advice at the time and had questioned her about it, but she was adamant. “The answer is something that you will need to learn for yourself.” She added as she handed me a cornflower: the same flower I had found when we had first met.
************
As days turned into months, I slowly learned the lay of the land, as well as how to live within it. The stream provided me an ample source of fresh, crisp water while the plentiful fish that swam within its depths provided me sustenance. Through foraging, I found both berries and nuts that I was familiar with, as well as herbs, root vegetables, leafy greens, grains, and mushrooms to feed myself. Just at the base of the hill where my cave was located, I plotted out a flat, even scrap of land hidden from view by a small collection of trees and several large boulders. This was where I had planted my garden. Within its fertile soil, I planted onions, carrots, cabbage, lettuces, several types of peas, and an unfamiliar root that I had discovered while digging for mushrooms. Its outward appearance was nothing to behold at first. The skin was smooth, waxy and white-colored with a purple accent. Dirt clung to it with a vengeance. Once I washed it thoroughly, I examined it briefly before giving it a taste. In its raw state, the flavor made my lip curl with disgust. One night, I had the idea to throw it in with the other veggies I had cut up and the outcome was one of wonderment. Everything that I disliked disappeared during the cooking process. The flavor completely changed to a subtle, yet earthy taste. The odd look gave way to softness and it was a delight to eat.
My diet was well-rounded and over the time, I started to fill out. My hips grew rounder, my breasts grew a bit fuller, and the concave slope of my abdomen filled in. While lying by the fire one night, I wondered if all the physical development that I had experienced was from pregnancy, but my monthly courses never ceased during the few months that I had been on my own. To know that I had not become pregnant from the rape left me relieved and profoundly thankful. Having a part of Cal growing inside of me was something that I could not have lived with. I could not have carried and born his offspring. I would have killed myself if I suspected that I was pregnant with any child of his. The more I thought about it, the more relieved I became. Sadness took root in me as well. The probability of me finding a man and having children was now next to impossible. When I was younger, I had seen myself marrying and together with my husband, have children—although I often declared the opposite. That was when I was very young and been carried away listening to the other girls in the sheds. That young girl though would have never imagined that she would have been chosen to become the Huntress, or that her Hunter would be murdered in cold blood. Or that his murderer had dared to take his place. I accepted my fate with finality and without question. The life that I had chosen did not allow me the attributes of the one that I had left behind. That wouldn’t stop me from living my life, though. I would live it as fully as I could, no matter what came my way.
************
The remainder of Spring and Summer arrived with swift wings and then fled faster than they had arrived. Winter came with a speed that left my head reeling. The snows fell unexpectedly one night and stayed for the duration. The quick onset of the cold and the coming of the frost, left me completely unprepared. I had not accounted for it to arrive so swiftly. I immediately set to digging up what could be harvested from the garden, hoping the rest wouldn’t rot in the ground while covered in a decent layer of snow. From the forest, I collected as many berries, nuts, and fruits as I could and dried them out from the smoke of the fire to ensure I would have stores that would see me through. I smoked the filets of fish that I caught as well, turning the soft, flaky flesh into a dried jerky that I stored in a pouch, packed in salt. That first winter alone was a lean one. I had to be very frugal, allowing myself to eat less and because of it, I lost all the fatness that I had gained earlier on. Through meticulous care and discipline, I made it through.
When the spring came again, the air changed, taking away the scentless cold and ushering in the abundant, rich fragrance of the world rejuvenating. As soon as the air was warm enough, I spent long chunks of time in the woods. The sun filled the sky with a soft, yellow light when I stepped off the trail leading into the woods. A smile spread across my lips as the sounds of the birds singing met my ear. I missed the walks through the trees and the endless array of color. It was too early yet for most things to have budded out or blossomed, but I felt renewed with the energy rising from off the land. My walk took me along the stream where I checked the trap that I bartered for a bag of dried plums and a crock of honey collected from a hive built inside the remains of a dead tree. While two fish rested in the bottom of my basket, I foraged, finding bits of herbs sticking up out from patches of snow that had not yet melted away. Next, I gathered strips of bark, tender, young leaves from several plants and the remnants of dried buds of long-dead flowers that would go towards making medicines. That day was pleasant, easy, and it was the day that I met my dearest friend from the outside world, Talen.
************
Talen was a wanderer that smelled of the forest after a rainstorm. Talen lived in a cave located a short distance from my dwelling. We happened upon each other when we were at the stream. I remember seeing him on the edge of the woods, finding both his appearance and dress strange. Talen was just slightly taller than me with light brown hair, deep sunken brown eyes, and rough, tanned skin from great amounts of sun exposure.
“Hullo,” He had called out, hand raised while his body was relaxed and his eyes gentle. His kind manner was apparent as he stepped out from beyond the tree line to where I could see him better. I didn’t reply at first. I simply observed him with a cautious eye. He repeated the greeting in an unfamiliar language. Immediately seeing that I didn’t understand, he chose another. “I am Talen.” He trustful
ly introduced himself without any shred of hesitation. I was shocked to hear him speak the Island’s language.
“Yvaine,” I called out, interested in this friendly stranger that I had happened upon.
“Glad to meet you, Yvaine. Are you the one that built those traps that are located just there and there?” He pointed directly to the places in the water where I had tied the two traps.
“Not the first, but I made that second,” I replied, pointing to the one closest to him.
“Ingenious construction,” He complimented me with a courteous nod. “Far superior to what I’ve seen previously.”
“How come I have never met you before?” I asked no longer shocked at my directness.
“I do not live in these parts when the snows come,” He explained. “I move to the southern lands. I also travel whenever the spirit takes me. I am only here because I fell ill and friends in a nearby town tended to me while I recuperated.” He drew in a deep, contented breath before continuing. “When winter comes, I go south because the cold affects the joints in my shoulders and causes great discomfort in my back. I find that if I migrate, my affliction doesn’t trouble me so.”
“I have something to help with that,” The excited healer in me blurted out before I could stop myself. “So that you wouldn’t have to travel so far just to find relief. I can give you some white willow bark to make tea.” I pulled a small satchel of the bark from my basket to show him. “It reduces inflammation and has great pain-relieving properties.”
“Do you have the healing knowledge, then?”
I eyed him with an expression that spoke of my confusion. “Healing knowledge?” The last two words were spoken in a language that I didn’t recognize.
“You are a healer, are you not?” He paused and said once the right words had come to him. “You know how to treat cuts, bruises, burns, set broken bones, and nurse illnesses?”
“I do,” I declared proudly and presented my herb-filled basket. “I am a healer.”
“Wonderful!” His voice was bright and clear. “It’s always good to know a healer.” There was innate happiness laced through his words. His happiness was the infectious kind. “It is such a pleasure to know that I am not alone. For a long time, I’ve wished someone would settle in that cave, just past that half-circle of trees and the collection of boulders. Maybe you’ve seen it? It’s near the top of the high hill. The path leading up to the mouth is partly covered with grass.” He said as his mouth spread with a wide, toothy grin. “And the entrance is usually disguised with a thick blanket of ivy.”
“I have seen it. It looks as if it would make someone a fine home.” I did not want him to know then that the cave he spoke of was actually my home.
“Can I ask you a question?” He spoke suddenly, piquing my interest with the promise of a sudden request.
“You may.”
“Can you show me how to make these traps so that I can set out a few of my own? I think with a trap or two like this, along with the offer of your healing skills, I could be persuaded to stay permanently. My knees, you see, also give me trouble. At times, walking is almost impossible due to the stiffness and the pain.” He rambled on, not waiting for my answer. “And sometimes I get these horrible scaly patches on my skin. Do you by any chance have something to take care of the itching and the redness? I have some sweet chestnuts that I just picked that I can trade for it.”
“I would be glad to help. And there’s no need for payment.”
“Then share my dinner with me,” He revealed a brace of rabbits that hung from his belt.
With an easy smile, I agreed and after a few more moments of conversation, he crossed the stream and stood just before me. We spent that afternoon together. I showed him how to pick the reeds, the tender saplings, and described how to dry them to make the fish traps. In a show of his gratitude, Talen regaled me with tales of his adventures. From him, I learned the world was far bigger than I could have ever imagined. We spent hours together as he told me of great countries and lands, as well as the sea—the large body of water that I had encountered during my first days on my own. Talen spoke of countries populated with people, each unique and fascinating in their customs, beliefs, styles of dress, and skin color.
“They must be spectacular,” I sighed, listening as we picnicked in the meadow that we both loved while I dreamt of the attractive, exotic people and longed to meet them.
“They are,” He smiled as he looked far away, no doubt reliving a memory from his past. “I worked as a page to world traveler.” He added. “Lord William was a kind man who treated me well. His death was a great loss to me.” Talen fell silent for several long moments. Once recovered, he spoke to me of great keeps—houses were men who considered themselves kings dwelled—that he had passed. Talen spoke of the many churches he visited and recited tales from the Christian Bible. What enthralled me most was his knowledge of nature. Talen knew everything—all the flora and the fauna of this land and many others. Animals that he described were not ones that I was familiar with—wild cats, snakes, monkeys, wild horses, small rodents, bears, wolves, and wild dogs—but from his descriptions, I could picture them clearly. Quickly, we became friends and by the start of summer, I trusted Talen completely.
************
We met every day at the river, both to collect water to check our traps.
“This makes fishing so easy,” He said one morning as he knelt, checking the trap that he had fashioned only days before. “Not to mention, it eases the pain in my back.” His fingers swiftly worked at opening the latch and then scooped out the fish that was inside.
“Are you applying the ointment I gave you on the trouble spots? And what about the valerian tea to help you sleep? How is that working?” I questioned him, trying not to be too pushy but the pain that troubled him concerned me greatly as a healer. His joints often were inflamed, which added to my worry, as did the red scaly patches that popped up across his body.
“I am,” He showed me a healing patch on his elbow. “The ointment helps me sleep, as does that tea that you gave me.” He thanked me genuinely. Once his trap was back in the water, he got to his feet with some difficulty and brushed the wet debris from his hands. “You have great skill. Tell me, where did you learn your craft?”
It was the question that I had been dreading. Over the course of time that we had known each other, Talen avoided asking me anything that was overly personal. Now, even though the question wasn’t all that intimate, it had hit too closely for my comfort. “It is just something that I picked up over time,” I said. The words that came out from mouth were not a lie but were not quite the whole truth either. Judging by his expression, Talen knew that I wasn’t being completely honest.
“Did you have a teacher? Or did you learn by trial and error?” He gave me a way out. The path to say I had learned through many triumphs and failures was there, but I could not find it in myself to allow the dishonesty to bloom.
“I was taught by a very wise woman named Eweln,” I explained, feeling an ache for my friend pain in my chest. “She was one of the greatest healers where I lived. Very few could match her skill.” Eweln indeed was one of the greatest healers that the Island had seen. Like my grandmother, she had been descended from Old Mother Alayda. Mother Alayda, who had come to live with the First People after the first winter, was the most skilled healer in our storied history. Her many-times granddaughter was said to look like her, although centuries separated their lifetimes. Eweln was much in tune with the flow and ebb of nature, as well as the body and spirit of those that she tended to. Through all the tutors she had taken under her wing, not a one had possessed her skill. That was, until she had found me.
“This Eweln,” Talen repeated her name with reverence. “She must be a remarkable woman.”
“Yes, she is.”
“Where is she now? You said something about where you once lived?” Talen had taken a seat upon a nearby tree stump and sat with his hands resting flat upon the tops of his
thighs. I remained in place, considering the water and the reflection that stared back at me.
“She is still there. I did not ask her to come with me when I left.”
“You left? What made you want to go?” He asked innocently. And there it was. The one thing that I did not want him to ask came from his lips.
“Many things made me want to go. None of which I am comfortable talking right now.” I was direct and honest with him. Even though I trusted Talen, I did not want to revisit the memories presently. The things that had happened to me, the humiliation, the unjust accusations, and blame from the others, especially from my sister, was not something I wanted to dwell on. All of it, combined with the disinterested negligence of my mother, left a sour taste in my mouth. Talen realized this without giving voice to it. I saw the recognition in his eyes, and I knew that he would not pursue the subject any further.
“What happened to you, Yvaine?” He saw clearly that it wasn’t a nomadic calling or a desire to see the world that brought me here. Instead, he saw the truth and it scared me to my core.
“Something terrible. Something that I want to forget.” I was firm and stressed the last few words. Talen fell quiet for a spell. I continued to stare into the water, images of what I had tried to suppress running freely within the confines of my mind.
“I am sorry for whatever has happened to you, Yvaine. Whatever it was, I know that you didn’t deserve it.” Talen broke the silence and uttered a long sigh. “I can see that you are a strong woman, Yvaine.” He declared. “You survived, and you will continue to do so. I will not bother you. That experience is yours and yours alone and I will not bring you pain by mentioning it. Let me say though, that I am glad to have met you and am very proud to call you friend.” Talen kept his promise and did his best to never speak of my past.
We spent our time learning from one another. During the winter, Talen taught me how to trap, to hunt, and showed me different ways of preserving food.
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