She’d covered her ears to block out the raised voices. It had scared her so much she’d started crying. Her mother had hustled her outside as soon as the service was over, and they’d never tried to go again. Looking back now, perhaps they could have tried another church. Of course, her father would never have allowed it.
Could there be a different way to believe? A faith that didn’t condemn if someone had a differing opinion? She couldn’t imagine that, but if there was, shouldn’t she at least find out more?
CHAPTER FOUR
Jason shook his head once he’d driven away. He could not imagine how a woman could be so skeptical regarding church. When he’d first gone to Annapolis, he’d spent all his free time studying and hadn’t attended weekly, but he’d never forgotten to pray. He’d met people who didn’t believe in God, but never anyone who had only gone to a house of worship one time. That was just insane.
He almost regretted convincing her to come on Wednesday night. He probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t seen such yearning in Zach’s eyes. The boy clearly wanted to go so much, and his son had wanted him to go as well.
Of course, it was only because her son had asked her to go that she’d agreed. Although he didn’t know Ellie at all, one thing he did know, she loved Zach and would do anything for him. He prayed he hadn’t made a mistake pushing her.
He’d felt deep sorrow for her. She had no idea what she lacked; most nonbelievers didn’t. As he would do with anyone who didn’t know the Lord, it was his responsibility and privilege to attempt to show her the way to God’s amazing love. He couldn’t imagine coping with life without his belief in the Father of all.
His earliest memories always had God in them. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t pray, even as a toddler. As a child, his mother would help him say his prayers before bed. They’d attended church every week and gone to Wednesday night supper as well. He couldn’t contemplate a life devoid of his faith.
What would it be like never knowing God, never having a church family? Evidently, that’s how Ellie had grown up, and how her son was growing up now. Poor kid. No wonder he’d acted so enthusiastically over going with them.
Marsha had shared his beliefs. Clearly, Ellie didn’t. What should he do? What he did know, he owed it to Zach to introduce him to God, and if the opportunity presented itself, to Ellie as well. The uneasiness over the encounter disappeared. God would show him the way.
He had his work cut out for him, but he’d faced tougher situations than one small woman who didn’t have a clue what was getting ready to hit her. Recently, he’d met Cameron Reynolds. They’d started talking, and he’d mentioned his church. When he’d discovered it was an Episcopal church, he’d accepted the invitation to check it out a few weeks ago.
Whenever he moved to a new area, he always looked for a church. He’d grown up Presbyterian, but he’d learned that the denomination wasn’t as important as the people. From what he’d seen so far, Cam’s church had welcomed him and the kids right away. He was glad it wasn’t a large congregation. Everyone seemed to know each other. He’d already met several folks, including Cam’s best friend, Jeff, and his wife, and of course, Cam’s mother and her husband.
Wednesday night suppers were more relaxed than church services, so hopefully that would be better for Ellie. If she saw a group of folks eating together and enjoying each other’s company, then maybe that would help her see church in a new light.
“Hey, Dad,” Brian yelled. “You just passed our turnoff to the house.”
“Glad you noticed. I’ll just turn at the next street and double back.” He needed to pay attention to his driving, or they’d end up having an accident. It was so unlike him to let his thoughts interfere when handling a vehicle. He pushed the conversation with Ellie away until he could examine it when he was alone.
“Are you okay?” Brian asked. “You’ve been lost in your head ever since we left Zach’s.”
Jason turned right at the next street. “I’m fine, just distracted. I was thinking about Zach’s mom and her response when I asked them to attend Wednesday night supper with us.”
“Me too.” Brian whistled. “I can’t believe they don’t go to church. His mom seems so nice. I’d never have imagined she was a nonbeliever. Zach seems to like the idea of going though. When I mentioned the youth group, he asked tons of questions, and not only about the group. He asked me if I liked going to church. I think he’s curious.”
“I picked up on that as well.” The road to the house was coming up, and he turned on his signal. “It’s important to remember…not all people know the Lord, but it doesn’t make them a bad person, just someone who may not have been brought up to believe in God.”
“Yeah, I understand that. I’m just surprised.” Brian adjusted his air vent. “Why do you think she doesn’t like church?”
His son seemed to be as intrigued as he was over why she’d acted so turned off at the idea of going. “Good question. There’s no way to know for sure, but she did say the one time she did go, it wasn’t a good experience. She seems to believe all churches are like the one she went to, or the ones she’s seen on TV.”
“Dad, surely she’s gone to a wedding held in a church, wouldn’t you think?” he queried.
Brian must be really concerned over her attitude. “One would assume so, but if none of her friends are believers, then maybe not.”
“Well, I’m glad we’ve always gone,” he replied, “and that you and Mom taught me to love the Lord. My faith has kept me out of trouble a bunch of times. Some of the guys at this school tried to get me to go with them when they go out to party, which would include booze and sex, but I’ve always turned them down.”
A chill ran through him when he considered where that could have led his son. “I’m pleased you turned them down. Lots of kids would cave under peer pressure.” He hoped those other boys didn’t give him a hard time for not going. “Do your choices ever cause you to feel left out?”
“No way. Those guys are mostly football jocks who think they’re dope, and I don’t want them as friends anyway.” Dope. That’s another new one. I’ll have to google it later.
Jason pulled into their driveway. “I’m proud of you, son. I’m glad we had this talk. Let’s agree to show Zach and Ellie what they’re missing by not attending church. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” Jason swallowed the lump in his throat as he followed his son inside. Lord, he loved his boy.
After the babysitter left, Brian and Kelly went into the media room to watch TV. Jason checked on the pot roast, potatoes, carrots and onions in the slow cooker. Steam wafted up and the aroma had his mouth watering. Praise the Lord, his mother had shown him how to use the thing and gave him copies of all her recipes. It sure made his life easier.
While he chopped vegetables for a salad, he mulled over his conversation with Brian. His son was growing into such a fine young man. Marsha would be so pleased. She’d been a fantastic mother, so loving, yet strong.
He sighed. He’d give anything to be able to talk to her just one more time, to tell her he was so sorry for putting his career first. It was time for that to change. Maybe he should consider retiring, once his current rotation ended in two years. There were plenty of jobs in the private sector that could be just as fulfilling—without taking him away from his kids.
Jason placed the bowl of greens in the fridge and took a seat at the table, then bowed his head. Lord, I need Your guidance. I want to be here for my kids. Kelly’s still so young, and she needs a full-time dad. Help me understand Your will for me. And, Lord, show me what I should do about Ellie. I believe You’ve brought her into our lives for a reason. In Your Son’s name. Amen.
The timer went off on the slow cooker, so he called the kids to the table. Brian led them in prayer, and after they finished eating, Kelly scrunched up her face and a few tears slipped down her pale cheeks.
He crouched beside her chair. “What’s wrong, sweet pea?”
Her little lip tre
mbled as she swiped at her tears. “My leg hurts really bad, Daddy. Can I have more medicine?”
Touching his watch to check the time, he calculated the hours since her last dose. It was a little late. No wonder she hurt. “I’ll get it for you right now. I’m sorry you’re hurting, baby girl.”
He grabbed the bottle of medicine from the cabinet and handed Kelly her pill. After she swallowed, she said, “I’m tired. Is it too early to go to bed, Daddy?”
“A little, but if that’s what you want, no problem.” He scooped her up in his arms, and she giggled. “Let’s get you settled in, then how about I read you a book?”
“Yay.” She hugged his neck. “You’re the best daddy ever.” Guilt threatened to strangle him. If only that were true, but going forward, he’d earn her praise.
Kelly didn’t make it beyond a page or two before she fell fast asleep. He watched her for several minutes. She looked so much like Marsha had as a child. His heart ached for his wife, but he had to remain strong for their children. He gently kissed Kelly’s forehead, then turned out the light and made his way downstairs.
By the time he returned to the kitchen, Brian had the dishwasher loaded and the granite counters wiped down. “Thanks, son. You didn’t need to do that, but I appreciate it.”
He shrugged. “No worries. It’s the least I could do after that awesome meal. The roast tasted just like Grammy’s. Well, I have a ton of homework. I’ll see you in the morning.”
After he watched the long, lanky frame of his son jog up the stairs, Jason went to his study and dropped into his lush, sandy beige leather chair. Remembering the word Brian had used in the truck, he opened his laptop, and had the meaning in no time. Dope means cool or awesome. Go figure. Looking further, he found a link to an Urban Dictionary on line and bookmarked it for future reference.
Once he’d read a few of his emails and deleted the rest, he relaxed and closed his eyes. Nine o’clock, and he couldn’t wait to turn in. While he was only forty-four, and kept in shape, being a full-time dad and working each day could be exhausting. He’d been burning the candle at both ends ever since he’d arrived in Virginia Beach. Thankfully, the admiral had granted him leave last week. No way could he be there for Kelly and have reported each day.
Back at work one day and already waiting for the weekend. He stretched, then closed his laptop and went to his room. After he slipped on his sleep pants, he crawled into his king-sized bed, glad he’d splurged on the memory foam mattress. Man, it gave him a good night’s sleep. Remembering his nightly prayer, he gave his thanks, then fell into an exhausted slumber.
* * *
After they finished the chili, Zach helped her clean the kitchen. When he hit the start button on the dishwasher, he groaned. “I’ve got a bunch of homework, so I can’t watch our favorite TV show. Will you record it? Then when I get home from school tomorrow, I’ll be able to see it?”
“Sure. Sorry you have so much schoolwork. Do you need any help?” she asked.
“It’s a book report for English,” he told her, “and I’ve already read most of the book. If you don’t mind, I’ll print it out when I’m finished, and you could check it over, just to make sure it’s correct?”
“Sure. Bring it to me when it’s done. I’ll be happy to look it over.” While Zach did well in school, sometimes he worried too much over his grades. Few seventeen-year-olds were as dedicated. Sometimes, she wished he could still be her little boy.
“Thanks, Mom.” He kissed her cheek and took the stairs two at a time. Ellie grinned. She loved his energy. She sank onto her slate gray sectional in the great room. She was so glad she’d gone for comfort instead of a traditional sofa like their old one. The microfiber fabric had been a good choice over leather.
When they’d purchased it last fall, they’d just gotten a puppy, and she’d not wanted the leather scratched. She wiped a tear away when she thought of that adorable mutt. They’d grown attached fast only to lose him a few months later when he’d gotten out of the fence and ran in front of a car.
She’d tried to get to him, but he’d just been too fast. Neither of them could think of getting another dog yet. Hobo had been a rescue puppy and had been frisky and playful. She missed having him around and so did Zach. Maybe by Christmas, they’d both be ready to have another dog.
Not in the mood to watch TV, she set the DVR to record their show and picked up her book. It just wasn’t holding her attention. She kept thinking about her conversation with Brian’s father and regretting her agreement to go with them Wednesday night.
Oh, why did I agree?
Then she remembered Zach’s pleading eyes. She never could say no to him when he turned those on her. Could she do it? Actually walk into a church? She’d managed to avoid them all together. Fortunately, none of her friends or co-workers had married in one. They’d either been married by a justice of the peace or had a destination wedding that left her off the hook, using the excuse of work to avoid going.
She could still hear the preacher all those years ago, ranting and condemning anyone to hell if they didn’t abide by his word. The congregation had yelled out, “Amen, brother. You tell ’em, preacher.” She’d clung to her mother and closed her eyes when the minister had lifted a huge, coiling snake from a wicker basket. Her mother had clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle her cries.
Cold chills raced through her as she recalled the event. Deep inside was that scared little girl still clinging to her mother. Once they’d escaped after the service, her mother had assured her they would never go back.
Her sister hadn’t gone because Connie had stayed the night with a school friend. She’d never told her sister about the experience and her mother had never mentioned it after they returned. Her father had been out of town, and she never told him either. He would have been furious if he’d known her mother had taken her to a church.
He’d told them repeatedly that churches were for fools who couldn’t think on their own. He could be frightening in his vehemence when it came to anyone who mentioned God. Her father had been a rather mild-mannered individual except when it came to the subject of religion.
She’d revered her father, so if he didn’t believe in God then she didn’t need to either. Her group of friends in high school never talked about religion, which suited her fine. Maybe she should cancel. No, that wouldn’t be fair to Zach. For some reason, he really wanted to go. Who knows why?
Zach came bounding down the stairs and handed her his report. She quickly read it, but she didn’t find any errors. He bussed her on the cheek, then returned to his room. Yawning, she looked at the time; already ten, and she had another early day.
She went to her room, changed into her nightshirt, and after cleaning the makeup off her face and putting on moisturizer, she crawled into her bed. Her thoughts returned to Jason and his request. She still wished she’d told him no, but she wouldn’t disappoint Zach. Surely, it wouldn’t be like that other time. He’d said the church was traditional.
Oh, no. She’d meant to google it. She’d remember to do it tomorrow. Stretching, she curled up with her pillow tucked under her head. If it sounded weird when she read about it tomorrow, she could always make up an excuse or just let Zach go without her. Closing her eyes, she let sleep take her away.
The next day she ended up dealing with one crisis after another. Her assistant manager had called in sick, and the general manager asked her to take over for the manager who normally coordinated the conventions since he’d called in sick as well.
By the time she made it home, she was burned out and just wanted to take a long soak in the tub. She ordered pizza for them, which had suited Zach fine since he loved anything Italian. He had another school project to work on, so he went to his room early.
Ellie grabbed a chilled glass of her favorite white wine and went upstairs. After she drew her bath, she climbed in and let all the hot water bubble around her. The stress of the day fell away eventually between the wine and her jacuzzi. Her decisio
n to google Episcopalians never entered her mind that night.
The following day was much of the same. A bug had hit their hotel and several others had called out, but at least with it being Wednesday, they had very few check-ins. She made it out of work on time.
When she arrived home, she found a note from Zach on the table. Jason Henderson had taken him to soccer practice again, and Zach reminded her they’d be at there to pick her up shortly after five and asked her to please be ready. The supper at the church started at five-thirty.
The note slipped from her fingers. Oh, no. She’d forgotten about agreeing to go. Now it was too late to change her mind. Clearly from the tone of his note, Zach was excited about going. She couldn’t disappoint him.
She’d just have to muddle through, but if it turned out to be remotely like her experience all those years ago, she’d leave immediately. Why had she agreed to ride with Jason? Hmm, she could always call an Uber if she wanted to leave early. What she could do…she’d google that Episcopal church like she should have last night.
She grabbed her laptop, and soon she’d found a link to the website for the church. There wasn’t much on it, other than a welcome message and pictures of people eating together. It talked about the activities the church had planned for the next month and mentioned the Wednesday night potluck suppers they had every week, inviting people to attend. It mentioned some kind of special visit from a bishop. Evidently it was a big deal when he came.
Intellectually, she realized all churches weren’t alike, but the little girl inside her didn’t accept that. His church didn’t sound remotely like what had happened at that one she’d gone to so long ago, so maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. She sighed and leaned against her chair. She’d go this one time because she’d given her word, but never again would she be asinine enough to go a second time.
CHAPTER FIVE
After Shock- Ellie's Chance Page 5