Grace: Thanks, Effie.
Fabio: You’re welcome.
Grace: I think I’m going to take a nap and go exploring. I’ll talk to you later?
Fabio: Of course.
Fabio: Miss you.
Grace: Miss you too. <3
My eyes flew open. Did Grace Chu just send me a heart, post-confession? She’d sent them before, but this had to mean something. Right? Right! RIGHT?!
Ugh. I was going crazy. But if I admitted I was going crazy, did that mean I wasn’t actually going crazy?
I pulled the covers up over my head and read over each of Grace’s messages three more times. I didn’t want to lose her as a friend, but how could I stop wanting more?
Six
Grace
No matter how much I needed to sleep, I couldn’t. Not because it was about eight in the morning back home, but because my best friend was halfway across the world, in love with me.
How had we gotten here? I tried to think back to any times I might have sent him the wrong message, but I couldn’t pinpoint anything. We were just close—we shared everything, talked to each other about everything. He was just...part of my life.
I tossed and turned in the twin-sized bed in my little studio apartment until my alarm went off in the morning.
My first thought was of home. What was going on there? Was Cookie reading my little sister her favorite Chinese bedtime story? Were Mom and Dad thinking of me? How many times had Fabio given someone a chicken sandwich when they’d asked for a cheeseburger, just for fun?
But that wasn’t what I was here for. I was here for an adventure like none I’d ever been on before.
So that was what I did.
I got back to my apartment, exhausted, but totally giddy. My first week in China had been amazing, and I couldn’t wait to tell Fabio about the perfect ending to the perfect week.
I slipped off my shoes, threw my purse on my desk, and flopped into bed.
Grace: FABIO.
Fabio: WHAT?
Grace: You will not believe what I just did.
Fabio: Started a multi-billion-dollar French fry enterprise?
Grace: ...
Fabio: So... yes?
Grace: We took the kids on a field trip to see the Shaolin Temple. It’s this massive Buddhist monastery, and it was so cool. Here, sending you a picture.
I sent him an image of the first building I saw when I walked up to the temple. I was immediately breathless, and not in the same way when I saw a cathedral or a mountain. This was...incredible.
Fabio: holy cow it looks like something off of Mulan
Grace: RIGHT?!
Fabio: That’s awesome!
Fabio: What did the kids think of it?
Grace: They loved it. It was almost cooler to see how they reacted than to see the actual temple.
Fabio: We haven’t talked in a few days... hows it going?
Guilt swept through me. Between working during the day and exploring the city with Jess, the other American volunteer, I’d been busy. Too busy for my best friend. Even thinking it made me feel worse than a dirty penny.
Grace: Sorry, it’s just been really busy here.
Fabio: I get it.
A few knocks sounded on my door. I set my phone down and went to answer them.
Jess stood outside, practically jumping up and down. “Grace! You have to come see this!”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “What is it?”
She waved her arms. “I made a dumpling that looks like the Virgin Mary.
Okay. I had to see this.
I followed her to her apartment and found a misshapen dumpling. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it just looked like a bunch of squished up dough.
Fabio and I would have had a heyday laughing about holy dough.
I missed him so much it hurt.
I said goodnight to Jess and walked back to my room.
Fabio: Hello?
Grace: Sorry, I was getting some food. I’m back now. What’s up?
Fabio: I’m just getting ready for bed.
Grace: It’s 6am there.
Fabio: ...and?
Grace: *sighs*
Fabio: How’s the orphanage?
Grace: I love it here. I feel like I’m actually making a difference.
Fabio: Yeah?
Grace: Definitely. The other day, this kid and I had her first full conversation in English. When I told her good job, she was so happy he started crying.
Fabio: That’s crazy.
Grace: I know. And then there’s this one kid who’s nonverbal, but you should have seen the way his eyes lit up when we watched Cinderella the other day.
Fabio: Not surprised. Cinderella is SUPER hot.
I snorted. Fabio was ridiculous.
Grace: I’m rolling my eyes.
Fabio: I wouldn’t expect anything less.
Grace: What’s up with you? Anything new?
Fabio: Not my air conditioner.
Grace: That sucks.
Fabio: Yeah.
Fabio: Anyway.
Fabio: I was looking at apartments near the university online, and I think there are going to be some pretty good ones! I can’t wait for you to get back so we can go look at them.
I shifted up in my bed. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I’d gotten so swept up in everything happening hear that I hadn’t thought we’d be moving in together in less than two months. I couldn’t leave it all to Fabio.
Grace: You’re looking at units with two bathrooms, right?
Fabio: Of course. I don’t want your hair getting stuck in MY shower drain.
Grace: -.-
Fabio: And I know your parents said they would furnish it, but my Grandpa literally stopped along the road yesterday so I could pick up a lamp...
Grace: Like from a garage sale?
Fabio: No, like from the ditch.
Grace: So ... A road lamp?
Fabio: Yup.
Grace: Yikes.
Fabio: Yup. So moral of the story. We don’t need a lamp.
I laughed. It was exactly the kind of thing Cookie would do. Ever since my dad got his patent, money had never been a problem, but Cookie kept us all down to earth. Still, I wouldn’t be telling my mom about the road lamp any time soon.
Fabio: Hey Grace?
Grace: Yeah?
Fabio: I miss you.
Grace: I miss you too.
Seven
Fabio
I sighed at her message. Missing Grace was like having a missing limb. Part of me was gone, dislocated, on the other side of the world. My chest ached with phantom pains at the absent half of my heart.
It seemed like she was having fun, and I was trying hard not to bother her. I wanted her to text me first. Not to stoke my own ego, just to make sure she had time. Apparently, she didn’t. We’d hardly messaged in the two weeks she’d been gone.
My chest ached again.
I read back over all the texts she’d sent me since she left. She loved it there. I could tell just by the way she talked about it.
Did she love it more there than here?
I couldn’t think about that.
Then again, I couldn’t not think about it.
No matter how hard I tried to go to sleep, that thought just kept coming to mind. I didn’t want to live in a place without Grace. But if she didn’t love me back, I might not have a choice.
I finally fell into an uneasy sleep, but I woke up within an hour with an aching in my chest. Grace was still gone. I still missed her.
But I had an idea.
Maybe I just needed to see the things that reminded me of Grace.
I got up and showered, rubbed on some Blue Mountain, and went out to my car.
I pulled out of the complex and out onto the road. In the five years we’d been friends, this whole city was like a living memory of our friendship. As the park passed by out my window, I remembered eating ice cream there at two a.m. A little further down I remembered the OnCue where we got to
pick the other person’s poison, creating a massive mix of random drink and candy flavors. I didn’t throw up. Even though I probably should have. I couldn’t say the same for Grace. Dr. Pepper, Rolos, beef jerky and tropical Skittles had done her in.
My eyes felt hot, and I was thankful for the red light. I blinked quickly, trying to shake how much it hurt. She’d only been gone for two weeks. This couldn’t have been all I was upset about.
Someday, if Grace didn’t date me, if we weren’t together forever, she would be with someone else. Live somewhere else. Have other things going on that limited her time to text me. Would it hurt as bad as the thought did right now?
I hoped not. I wouldn’t make it through.
Especially not with all these memories around me.
I just passed the fire hydrant Grace had pretended to pee on when dressed as a dog for Halloween four years ago.
Then I got on the ramp where Grace rear ended someone the day after she got her license.
And I drove down the highway where we’d driven together countless days, complaining about school, jamming out to the radio, eating candy.
And then I took the exit toward Grace’s house. The one I always took to meet her for the movies or to study before a test.
These roads were so familiar I could space out as I drove them. Could think about Grace’s smell. Or how she always unbuckled a block before we got to her house.
I sighed.
For now good reason, I parked in front of her house. My breath came fast, even though I’d just been sitting. And my eyes felt wet. Why were they wet?
I wiped at them. It was time to face reality. Would this house become just the house of my old best friend? Would I visit here for holidays in college? Or would it never be on my radar?
If I wanted Grace to be a part of my future, I’d have to do something. Because obviously, she didn’t get it. Didn’t understand quite yet.
A few raps sounded on the body of my car, and I jerked away.
Grace’s little sister, Fei, eyed me. She didn’t talk for too long. Then she said, “You miss her, don’t you?”
Afraid I’d choke on my words and look even more pathetic in front of this middle schooler, I just nodded.
Her lips turned down, quivered just a bit. “I miss her too.” She looked toward the house. “Snickerdoodle said you should come in for lunch. We’re having biscuits and gravy.”
“For lunch?”
She shrugged.
For whatever dumb reason, I got out of the car and followed her inside. Because even though Grace was in China, I just needed to feel close to her.
Eight
Grace
I softly shut the door on the napping children and followed my boss, Ru Shi back to her office. I didn’t know why she wanted me to meet with her, but I didn’t mind. She was one of the coolest people I ever met. And her office was no different.
I’d never seen a room so chic and cluttered. There was children’s art on the walls, modern office furniture, and piles upon piles of paperwork. I stepped into her office and closed the door behind me.
She gestured at the seat in front of her desk and shoved a stack of papers out of the way so we could face each other.
“Nuo, how are you enjoying your time here?” Even though her accent was strongly Chinese, I caught a hint of British too. It made her seem even cooler than she already was in my eyes. She literally served children all day.
I smiled. It was impossible not to fall in love with them. Impossible not to dread leaving, no matter how much I missed home. “I love it. I’m going to miss it so much.”
She nodded. “What if you didn’t have to miss it?”
My brows came together. “What do you mean?”
“You know we’re starting a school. We need English teachers. I think you would be a great fit.”
My mouth opened. A job? Here?
“Before you make a decision, we are offering a salary and benefits package, and you’ll be able to stay where you are, rent-free.”
It sounded too good to be true. And it was. “I have college...”
“I don’t know your situation, but at my last school I worked with people who earned college credit for their time here. As interns or for study abroad. And there is a college where you could take night classes.”
My family would love it. Love me connecting with my culture. There was only one thing holding me back. One person.
In that moment, I knew even more surely that I couldn’t do this with Fabio. Romantic relationships held you back. Friendships pushed you forward. And I needed someone who would let me take an awesome opportunity like this.
“Let me talk to my college,” I said. “But I want to do it. No matter what.”
Ru Shi clapped her hands together. “Yes! Amazing. I will email you your offer letter. I can’t wait for you to start.”
Now I just had to tell everyone.
As I walked to my apartment, I couldn’t believe how far I’d come—from an Oklahoma girl scared to go out on her own to an international traveler who accepted job offers. No matter how much I cared for Fabio, I couldn’t have done this if I hadn’t gone out on my own.
My stomach churned with guilt. Fabio and I were supposed to go to college together—share an apartment. I had to tell him. I just didn’t know how.
I went into my apartment and called my parents. It was still early there—only six, but they got up early in the morning.
Just like I’d expected, they were thrilled, planning for New Year’s in Shang Hai, and the cherry blossom festivals in Japan. Mom said she would help me work it out with the college when I got back and that I should enjoy my time here.
But how could I fully enjoy it when it meant disappointing my best friend?
I went down the street and got some food to go, then came back to my apartment. I didn’t want to tell Fabio until I could see him in person, but I needed to talk to him. To feel like everything was alright before I ruined it.
Grace: Hey, what’s up?
Fabio: Gaming. Hold on.
I picked through my food. Chicken and rice here was so cheap and flavorful. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of eating it. But right now, my stomach refused the idea of supper.
Fabio: Hey. How are you?
Grace: Wiped. I love working with kids, but they wear you out.
Fabio: I hear ya. What all did you do today?
Grace: We had arts and crafts, and then we watched a movie, and then we played in a park, and then reading and nap time, and then we taught some life skills. Teeth brushing practice today.
Fabio: That sounds like a lot.
Grace: It was.
Fabio: Rethinking being an elementary teacher?
Grace: No. I want to do it even more now.
Fabio: that’s awesome.
Grace: Thanks. :)
Fabio: Cringing thinking about all the macaroni art you’re gonna bring home.
Grace: Just because you can’t eat it?
Fabio: Caught me.
Grace: lol How’s training?
Fabio: Connor says he thinks I have a good chance. I don’t know. Some of these guys literally play for 80 hours in a row and pee in a bottle so they can play longer. And then they’ll feast and do it again.
Grace: grosssssssss
Fabio: Some might call it efficient.
Grace: Yeah, gross people.
Fabio: Seriously though. I have a job. And grandparents. I don’t know if I have the time to compete with them.
Grace: You understand that game better than anyone else. You’ve hardly slept that last three months. You are going to do great.
Fabio: I hope so. Working at Bethesda would be... incredible.
Grace: Yeah. Three months in DC is a long time though. I’d totally miss you.
Fabio: Like I miss you?
Grace: :) This is just a month. You’ll see me soon.
The words felt wrong as I typed them. This time it was just a month. But soon, it would be a
year.
Fabio: That’s true. And we won’t have to worry about a time difference.
Grace: Yep. Never thought I’d see you out of bed before noon this summer. :P
Fabio: I tend to surprise people.
That was the truth. His confession had surprised me more than anything else. But I didn’t say that. Instead...
Grace: Remember when you got between Phil and Tara at prom? I was DYING.
At prom, Fabio had thought up this fun game of prom dare bingo, including snuggling up between a couple dancing close and telling them to leave room for Jesus. I’d never laughed so hard in my life.
Would I find a friend here to make me laugh like that?
Fabio: Classic.
Grace: We’re totally passing that list on to our kids.
Grace: I mean, not OUR kids. Future kids. Some day.
Fabio didn’t reply right away. Had I offended him? His confession had tossed us into open waters I had no idea how to navigate.
Fabio: Emerick kept the list. I have no idea what he did with it.
Grace: That’s a shame.
Change the subject. Change the subject.
Grace: how’s work?
Fabio: New subject.
Okay then.
Grace: ...?
Fabio: I saw the new Spider Man movie today.
Grace: I can’t even keep up with all of them.
Fabio: right? This one wasn’t very good. Can you see movies there?
Grace: Yeah, but they’re all dubbed in Chinese, and the subtitles are English. It would be weird.
Fabio: Maybe. I bet anime’s awesome there.
Grace: Just like it is at home, but people don’t think you’re weird for liking it lol
Fabio: Make any new best friends?
Was I being paranoid or was there hurt in that text message? I wished I could hear him say the words.
Grace: Not any I can binge Twix and HP with. But my boss is really cool. She has a Chinese/British accent which is totally awesome. The girl next door is from South Dakota and she’s nice enough. She’s 26. I think she’s more interested in being in China than she is in the kids though.
Fabio: British Chinese accent? That sounds badass.
Fabio vs. the Friend Zone (The Pen Pal Romance Series) Page 4