by Naomi Lucas
I can’t comprehend it, not having the freedom of space, being stuck on a single small planet, where if I wanted to get away from someone or something, I could only put some land and maybe an ocean between us. I’d rather there’d be millions of galaxies.
I thought it was amazing that Vruksha’s bunker, the tech, and even the animals were still here, but after seeing Zaku’s home, there’s nothing left to surprise me. He had running water, silver walls edged with stones, and so much more. I’d gone through a time machine, back to when my ancestors thrived.
It’s while I’m thinking this, having finally stopped worrying about Daisy, that Vruksha leads me into the ruins of a building.
A large one. One I haven’t seen before.
Vines and moss cover it, but floors remain, and the rest of it? It’s scattered amongst the trees as far as I can see. There are rusty bars, shattered windows, and trees that shoot from the ground through the pieces that are left. We’ve passed numerous buildings and ruins, and each one is interesting in its own way.
Vruksha leads me deeper into the building, and I’m met with centuries of dust and decay. Looking around, it appears stripped of objects that might be collected, except for random bits and pieces left behind.
He stops, leans over a counter, and brushes some of the debris aside with his tail. He rises and points his spear to the spot. “We camp here tonight.”
I peek over the counter to the hard, dirty floor on the other side. It’s not great, but I like the walls on every side. Vruksha drops my bag of clothes. It’s a good spot.
“I’m going to secure the perimeter.” He slips away before I can stop him.
I rub the chill from my hands, open my bag, and pull out a ration to eat. I take it with me when I decide to familiarize myself with the building.
There are broken chairs, decaying pictures on the walls, and drooping plastic plants. I try to imagine what it would have looked like before the Lurkers, but I can’t, not really. The place was made to be comfortable, and there’s no comfort left.
I hear something behind me, and I turn, finding Vruksha. He stops when he sees me. There’s a dead bird in his hand, and he shows it to me. “Food,” he says.
“I ate a ration.”
His tail curls. His brows arc. He takes me in, and I straighten, wondering what he’s seeing. He lifts the bird to his mouth and starts eating it raw. My nose wrinkles.
I’ve seen him do it before.
He stares at me as he eats it, licks his fingers.
I shiver.
“I’m going to keep watch,” he says when he’s done, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Stay here and get some rest.” He turns to leave again.
“Wait,” I call out quickly, not wanting him to go.
“What?”
I take a step forward. “You’ve been… distant since we left the bunker.”
Vruksha cocks his head.
“You’ve been upset.”
He hisses. “Your friend is sssafe, female.”
“That’s not what I mean. I know she is. This isn’t about her.”
“Then what is it about? Tomorrow, you will be back within my den, in our nest, and you will completely give yourself to me. Forever.”
He continues, stalking toward me. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”
“I haven’t changed my mind,” I say. I don’t want to break my word, but also, I can’t imagine what he’d do if I did. My naga is reasonable, intelligent, and strong, but he’s also lawless, and quick to temper. He stops in front of me, eyes ablaze. I chew on my tongue, straining my neck to meet his gaze. “I want to know what’s wrong. With you.”
For someone who rose through the ranks as a comms officer, I’m sure as shit at failing at communicating now, when it matters most.
Maybe that’s the trick about communicating. When it doesn’t matter, it’s easy, and when it does… It’s the hardest thing in the world to find the right words—the right time.
“Wrong, female? There is nothing wrong. Once I have you safe, where no other male can either see you or get to you, we can talk. Tonight? I do not trust what could be waiting in the canopy above.” He pulls away again.
I grab his wrist. He stops, tensing where I touch him. It’s the most we’ve touched all day. He doesn’t shake me off, so I move into his arms and press against his body, curling my arms around his back. I inhale his earthy scent, and his soft scales tickle my cheek. I close my eyes hard and shudder.
“I miss you,” I whisper.
His arms close in around me. “I’ve never left.”
“I need you,” I say, holding in my tears. Words fail me.
His hands tangle into my hair. “I’m here, female.”
“Don’t leave me tonight. If you do, take me with.”
Vruksha pulls me into his arms. “I’ll stay.”
He carries me to our spot behind the counter. And for a time, he just holds me, giving me everything I’ve missed, I’ve needed. This. Us. I burrow hard into him, relishing his body, his warmth. Whatever may be outside can stay there, but tonight, it’s just the two of us in this building. I curl my fingers against him as he winds his tail through and under my legs.
I could never leave, even if I wanted to. I could never leave the heaven of his arms.
Not for rank, not for paints, not for anything.
Anything… Fantastical I am not. Perhaps, that will be my greatest secret. That I have chosen Vruksha over everyone.
His hands grip my hair, they run up and down my back, and his heart thunders under my ear.
“I miss you always,” he says softly, holding me tighter against him. “Every time I take my eyes off you, I miss you.”
A laugh bubbles up. “Is that why you’re always watching me?”
“I always watch you because you are beautiful, and you glow in the light. But perhaps I also watch you because I’m afraid if I don’t, you’ll disappear.”
My chest tightens. “I won’t.” I mean it.
Silence returns for a time. Vruksha sways his tail, caressing my body, keeping me warm.
“I want you to choose me,” he says after a while.
I lift to look at him. “I have chosen you.”
He meets my eyes in the darkness. “I need you to choose me.” His voice roughens. “Every day.”
“Every day, I will choose you.”
His finger caresses my cheek. “I need you to really choose me.”
My lips purse, confused. I pull away a little further so I can see him better, trying to figure him out. “Is that why you’re unhappy?” I ask softly. “I’ve chosen you over everyone, I lo—”
He interrupts me. “I’m not unhappy.”
“You’ve pulled away from me.”
“I haven’t.”
“Then explain it to me. What’s going on? I choose you, Vruksha,” I declare. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re the only one I trust.” It hurts to say it, admitting the betrayal of my people, but it’s also liberating. “Should I scream it?” I deadpan.
His finger drops from my cheek. “Your trust is a gift,” he says.
“You’re deflecting.”
He hisses.
I hiss back at him.
His lips wrinkle, gifting me a brief glimmer of a smile.
Vruksha is handsome when he smiles. I grin, hissing once more. “I can do it too.”
“Yesss, you do it well.”
“Now explain it to me,” I demand. “If we’re to be mates, we can’t have any more secrets.”
His chest puffs out, and he exhales. “I’ve never been chosen,” he begins.
I give him all my attention.
He continues, “I told you about my father, my mother. How he stayed to raise me and my sisters, though, I know now he died the day my mother did. He chose to live, to protect me and my siblings, and that was enough for a young male like me. I didn’t know better, not like how I do now. How that choice he made, to stay with us, was everything. A sacrifice
I can only start to comprehend. But it didn’t last, that choice he made, and when my sisters chose to go into the west, I knew it hurt my father gravely. That day, he lost them, like he lost my mother.
“I wasn’t enough.
“For years, he stayed with me, teaching me to hunt and use the tech. He showed me how to live, but he was already dead, and those final years, I knew being with me killed him. He worried about my sisters. I wasn’t surprised when he decided to go after them. Once he made his decision, he became happy, and I realized how much being with me was hurting him. He chose me, but not really. Those days before his departure, the happier he got, the more it hurt.”
“Did you tell him this?”
“How could I? I’d never seen my father smile before. I couldn’t take that away.”
I can’t imagine. “I’m sorry.” I could say it a thousand times, but it would never help.
“I watched him leave me, never to return. He never asked me to join him.”
I lean my head against his chest.
“After he left, it seemed he left not only me behind, but his darkness, his grief. And that grief went into me instead. I mourned the loss of my sisters, but it was not the way I mourned the loss of my father. For years, I was alone, never seeing another soul, not until Zhallaix established a den near my own, and in doing so, brought Zaku and the other nagas out of their territories and into mine. He and the others distracted me, and I moved on, forgetting what it was like to be lonely, that my family abandoned me.
“And then a ship came out of the sky, and with it, humans.”
“Me,” I whisper.
“You, sweet mate. I was lucky enough to see the ship land and go after it. Many of us did. Then, one day, you appeared, walking from the confines of that vessel and into my world. I noticed your hair first, the way it shimmered in the sunlight, its brilliance. I looked down at my scales and realized we were the same color. You wore my color, and I knew you were mine. Nothing else mattered. I had to have you. There was nothing else. And when I took a second glance, our eyes met.”
“I remember.” I shiver thinking of that day and how afraid I was when I saw Vruksha for the first time. I like hearing him tell it from his point of view though. It makes me happy. He hadn’t seemed real, not with his shock of red amongst the trees. “You scared me. I thought you were covered in blood.”
“You stood there staring back at me for a long time.”
“I thought if I moved, you’d come out of the trees and eat me.”
“I wanted to, but not in that way.”
“Did I give you tension?”
Vruksha rumbles. “Yes.”
I smile.
“After you left, running from me and into the facility ruins, I knew there was no way I was leaving without you. I planned to steal you.”
“You did?”
“I scouted the perimeter of the facility a hundred times, searching for weakness, for a way in and out where I wouldn’t be caught. I searched for you constantly, hoping for another glimpse. Each time I saw you, I became more obsessed, more certain you belonged with me, and during my plans, I found other naga males doing the same. They saw you and the other females within and wanted you too. I was desperate. We fought because we all wanted the same thing—you. When we realized attacking the base was a bad idea, Zaku decided to approach your males—”
“And make a deal with Peter,” I snap.
“What else were we to do? If we attacked, you and the other females could be hurt. You could escape into your ship and leave? The very idea of those possibilities stopped me and the other nagas from sneaking in alone, from attacking at all. The risk was too great.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t right.”
“Yes, it was,” he growls.
“And if I fought tooth and nail? And still fought you right now? What then?”
“I would make you see.”
I sigh.
“But this isn’t why I was… unhappy, female.”
I sigh again and play with the scales on his chest. “Go on.”
“After it was all said and done, and I finally had you, you chose Azsote.”
Sitting back up, I glare at him. “I told you why I chose him.”
“You did.”
“I wish I could go back in time and make a better choice… But I can’t.”
“When you had to make a choice again, you chose Daisy.”
My brow wrinkles. “She was in trouble.”
Vruksha shakes his head. “You called me your mate when you did. It was bliss, hearing you say it aloud, but then it infuriated me. I hated it. Helping your friend is one thing, but in doing so, it brought back everything.”
My heart sinks. “I didn’t mean—”
“Stop. I understand why you did it now. I also realize you didn’t do it on purpose. I’d… forgotten what it was like not being alone, being a part of a clan. I… liked it. I remembered when we met up with Zaku, Azsote, and even your friend, how there’s strength in numbers and there’s comfort in sharing your worries with others who are like-minded. It’s been years since I last saw my father, and I’d forgotten.”
“What about today?” I whisper.
“You haven’t called me mate since,” he tells me.
I close my eyes hard, finally understanding. I manipulated him, used his insecurities to get what I wanted. I hadn’t even realized what I had done until now. I knew how much he wanted me, how protective he was, how paranoid he gets, and I must’ve known calling him mate in return was a priceless gift. Even subconsciously, I knew. I did it anyway, not thinking if it was the right place or time.
And I used that power he’d given me to force him to take me to Daisy. I can’t stop the thick ball of guilt squeezing my heart.
I sit up and lean back. His arms loosen around me.
“I choose you,” I say, almost gasping the words.
His eyes hood. “What?”
“I choose you,” I tell him louder. “Mate,” I add.
“You don’t—”
“I’m saying it not because you want to hear it, but because I need to say it and you need to hear it again. Because there’s nothing else I want but you. There’s nothing else I want than to be your mate. I will tell you every day if I must, but it’s the truth. I’m not going anywhere. I will prove it.”
“Your humans are still here, and so is their ship.”
“I know.”
Vruksha searches my eyes. His tail closes in tightly around us. “You won’t try and run? Like your friend? I couldn’t bear it. Not after seeing what it did to her… Her screams.”
“I won’t run,” I promise him. “I love you.”
“Love,” he says. “That’s a strange word.”
“You’ll hear it from now on. It won’t be strange for long.” I’ve never felt how I do for Vruksha for anyone else.
He pulls me close, resting his chin on my head, and I settle against him. Moonlight shines through the cracks of the building, and I watch the flurries of dust in the dim silver light. It’s such a simple beauty, but one I’ll never take advantage of again. Earth may not be the place it once was, and there may be obstacles in our future, but for now, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I know what’s at stake. What’s been given up, and I vow to protect what’s left with my life. There’s something wrong with this new Earth, and I’m going to figure out what it is.
While I do, I’ll be with Vruksha.
He gently brushes his fingers through my hair, lulling me to sleep.
“Love,” he whispers.
It’s the last thing I hear before sleep. Then his warmth takes me away, leading me to dreams of mountains and the alien men who rule them.
Twenty-Eight
Once a Secret
Gemma
We leave the building before the sun rises the next morning. He’s eager to be back home, and so am I. I want the pelts and the warmth of Vruksha’s nest, and he wants me to prove that I’ll keep
my word.
He doesn’t have to say it; I know it.
I want to prove it too. Baby steps, rights? He’s earned my trust, now I need to earn his.
For how alien Vruksha and his naga brothers are, they’re still a conglomerate of softness and insecurity beneath their rough exteriors. Even Zaku, I bet.
I hope Daisy’s made the right choice staying with him, but even if she regrets it already, now that I know where she is, I’ll check in on her soon.
Even if it means facing the wilds again. Vruksha will take me, I’m certain. He’s going to need to teach me how to hunt and defend myself anyway. It’s not like there are working orbs everywhere I can beg for help. And still, if there were, I wouldn’t. Gunfire is loud and imperfect. The drones here may no longer have the calibration software for perfect aim.
I got lucky, really lucky. I can’t rely on luck going forward.
The next time… the drones may not come at all. I need to know how to survive and avoid another situation like the pigs.
I’m also anxious to explore this forest and clean out Vruksha’s bunker. I’d just begun digging through his stuff and learning about my history before we left.
I want him to show me his screens again.
I want to know everything. Even if it’s hard, even if no one survives. I’ve decided it’s my job to make sure the information is protected, cataloged, and saved. So if humans do return to Earth, they’ll know what’s at stake, what we’ve lost, and that we still have so much left to lose. I’ve only just gained a little of it back myself.
I want to honor those who died.
As for the Lurker tech… I’m fine with it staying hidden until I understand more, keeping it far from anyone who might misuse it, even my own people. Because if the Dreadnaut did fire on Daisy...
Sighing, I push through the branches of a large bush, following Vruksha’s trail.
I exhale loudly, seeing a steep hill ahead of me.
Why does it have to be steep?
As I’ve traveled by Vruksha’s side, I’ve watched for the signs of the land flattening out, of the trees thinning, of the vague landmarks I’ve already come to know. But the land doesn’t flatten out like I expect. I peek up at the sky and grasp Vruksha’s tail. He hauls me up a ledge. It seems like we’ve been climbing for hours when I’m certain we should be on flat land by now. I wipe the sweat from my brow.