by Cass Kim
Renna thought about last night, when he and his father had stepped out of the cabin without the candles, on a dark and cloudy night. And how their pupils reflected the light just like Tim Tams did.
“You can see in the dark.”
“Yep. But the sunlight might as well make me blind without my shades.”
“She figured that out pretty quick.” Syd winked at her across the table. “At least she’s not a dummy, Emers. Then she’d never fit in here.”
Renna and Emerson replied at the same time.
“Never thought she was.”
“I’m not staying anyhow!”
Despite her protest, Renna was having a hard time seeing how she’d go back to her normal life with her changed brother and rarely home mother after this. Emerson stayed and helped with the post lunch clean-up. With his help, it went a lot faster than the breakfast clean-up had. The way that he and Syd bickered good naturedly through the chore made Renna feel oddly comfortable. After, he said he had to go foraging for more food items. Syd declined, saying she had to put in some time at the lab for her Mom. That left Renna with nothing to do but join him.
Chapter 9
“If my brother survives where will he go?” They had stopped at the cabin and changed the bandages on Renna’s feet before going on the trek. The new fluffy bandages and thick boots made it a lot easier to hike through the forest.
“I guess he’d have to stay here,” Emerson said with a shrug.
“And me?” She looked around them, at the patchwork of sun filtering through the leaves. The dirt was starting to smell of mold and decay, as the summer growth was dying off.
“I don’t think you’re infected. Your blood work would have shown it by now, and if you were they’d have grabbed you from the mess hall.” He passed her the dog-eared book of edible plants and herbs, so she could look as he started pulling up tubers.
“So, what, you’re just going to take me home in a few days?” She dragged a foot through the dirt, feeling awkward standing over him as he knelt on the ground.
He shrugged, “I don’t know. I think you should wait it out here for now. That outbreak that got your brother moved really fast.” He worked at the dirt, pulling a fat root from the ground as he spoke. “I haven’t checked, but I doubt it’s controlled. You shouldn’t go home and be alone right now.”
“I bet my mom is freaking out. She was literally just yelling at me for not answering my phone, and now I don’t even have my phone and it’s an emergency and she hasn’t heard from either of her kids.” She flipped through the book, thumbing past notes made in a neat and even hand, trying to focus on the drawings and just breathe in and out slowly. She was not going to cry in front of him.
“She might be, but there’s nothing you can do right now.” His voice was calm and matter of fact.
She watched him for a long moment, thinking about the past few days. About how he’d shown up just on time. “ Were you in the woods spying on us?”
He leaned back on his heels to look up at her. She found herself wishing she could see his strange eyes instead of the dark lenses of the sunglasses. “I wouldn’t really say spying. I kind of found your house by accident once, when I was looking for new areas to forage. I mean, you guys are kind of out on the edge of town. I visited a few times. Not like a stalker or anything. It’s just…” He paused before confessing with a sheepish grin, “I liked your cat. I mean, he’s huge, but he’s so friendly to you guys.”
She couldn’t stop herself from returning his smile, “He’s a Siberian. Even then, the vet says he’s abnormally large.” She’d always been proud of their unusual cat. She hoped he was still alive, still at the house.
He kept watching her, “I used to have a cat too. Her name was Felix.”
“Isn’t Felix a boy’s name?” She wrinkled her nose at him, his smile growing.
“Yeah, it is. But she was all black and she meowed all the time. I mean, like just all the dang time. So, my brother named her Felix, like that talking cat cartoon.” His attention was carefully back to working roots out.
“Your brother. Thomas?” She sat on the ground next to where he was kneeling. His hand paused before he replied.
“Yeah, Thomas.”
“Did you..did you all change at the same time?”
He worked in the dirt for a long moment before answering quietly. “It’s kind of a long story.”
“I have time.” She thought of his mother’s words from the night before You should hope you never have to experience it.
He looked at her a little ruefully, “You know that’s just a polite way of me saying I don’t really want to talk about it?”
She shrugged. “I know. I just… if you did want to. I have time. Apparently, I have nothing but time, right now.”
“Well,” he said brightly, “lucky for you, we have a vast forest and book full of herbs for you to study.” He nodded to the book she’d set down.
She didn’t move to pick up the book. “You said ‘liked.’ That you liked my cat. Is Tim Tam dead?”
“I don’t really know. I kind of had my hands full trying to keep your brother from killing you.”
“Those bruises on your body. Are those from him?”
His full lips pressed together for a moment before he answered. “Yeah. I mean, him and the ground. We might be really strong and fast, but we aren’t invincible.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you got hurt.”
“Better me than you. You didn’t have a chance.” He shrugged again. “Might as well use this freakish Wilder life the best that I can.”
Renna reached over and caught his hand for a brief moment, squeezing gently. “I don’t think you’re a freak. And you don’t seem that wild. But you might be an X-man.” Which made him chuckle. She quickly let go of his hand, feeling the same tingles as that morning dancing along her veins.
They gathered herbs, roots, and fungi for a few hours, until the sun was low enough that Emerson could take off his sunglasses and Renna had to pick her way more carefully along the tree roots. They’d traveled a fair distance, and she’d recognized nothing of the landscape. When they returned to the camp they met up with Syd for a quick dinner. Syd was distracted, and said she’d have some serious news in the morning. News worth getting up early for. They’d parted ways after the meal, with Renna and Emerson heading back to the cabin on the outskirts, and Sydney back in towards the center of camp.
“What do you think it will be? Will it be about my brother?” Renna was more than a little annoyed that Syd refused to expand on her upcoming news.
“It might be. With Syd, it could be anything. It might be camp news, town news, or maybe even national news.” He yawned deeply, interrupting himself. “Her mom has one of the few radios in camp that still works, so she really does get all the information. Just wait; she’ll draw it out and make it as dramatic as she can. The more you pester, the longer it takes. Trust me. I speak from years of experience.”
“I hope it’s good news. I really don’t think I can take any more bad news right now.” Her voice was thick as she thought on how much had happened in such a short time frame. Her entire life was spinning out of control.
“I hope so too.” He ran a hand through his hair, smothering another yawn.
The sun had finished setting as they were eating; the moon was just a sliver in the sky. As they walked, Renna’s foot caught on the edge of rock. She wheeled her arms widely trying to catch herself, but was unable to get back to equilibrium. Emerson reached out with cat-like speed just before she hit the dirt, steadying her gently.
“Here, stick with me.” He was so comfortingly warm as he tucked her into his side. “Sorry, I should have brought a glow stick from the mess hall or something. Sometimes I forget what it was like before.”
“You really can see in the dark, huh?”
“Yeah,” she could just make out the curve of a smile on his lips, “I really can.”
They walked in silence the rest of the
way, with Emerson helping her find her way. Renna found the excessive heat he gave off soothing in the cooler night. The quiet sounds of creatures rustling in the forest still made her heart jump, but Emerson would tighten his hold on her just a little and she felt like she was safe. As safe as she could be, out here with no protection other than a teenage boy who’d once been a mindless Wilder. He’d spent what should have been his high school years holed up in the woods with a bunch of adult scientists that dreamed of saving the world. And somewhere deep inside, she was starting to dream of being a part of it too.
Chapter 10
When they got to the cabin, Soo was inside, folding clothes. It seemed like such a normal, motherly thing to do, aside from the fact that she was doing it only by the light of the moon. As soon as she heard them enter, she lit a match and several candles, nodding hello to Renna and Emerson.
“Good news today, Renna. You’re not infected.” She said it with a small smile, and then a pointed look at Emerson who still had his hand resting on her lower back. He immediately dropped it to his side and stepped away from her.
“She should probably get a tent in the camp, then. You know, for her own safety. It doesn’t take much for accidental infection.” Emerson’s voice was as stiff as his shoulders.
Soo nodded slowly, “Yes, I do think that’s wise. Though, I think your father wants to speak to her before any decisions have been made about her future.”
Emerson’s voice was hard, “She’s not here for that shit, Mom.”
“Tone, Emerson.” Soo’s voice was soft, but steely.
He threw his hands up, wheeling around to say something further when Daniel walked out of the other room.
“Ah. Renna. Good, I have something to speak with you about.”
“Dad, I know what you’re going to ask, and you can’t. It’s not fair to her.” Emerson paced the small space, restless in his anger.
“I believe she has the right to hear me out.” Daniel turned and addressed her. “Renna, how do you feel about being an integral part of the research team?”
“Uh.. well, Mr. Kim, I don’t really know much about research.”
“Doctor. It’s Dr. Kim.” Renna saw Emerson shake his head in disgust behind his father. “And you don’t really have to know much. You just have to be brave. Please, have a seat.”
“I can’t listen to this shit. Renna, you don’t have to do anything. I’ll take you home. We’ll leave right now.”
“You will not!” Dr. Kim’s voice rang out like a whip, his eyes flashing in the candles as he glared over at Emerson. “You have no idea what you are talking about. You’ve been off being selfish and gallivanting who-knows-where. You have no idea where our research has taken us. If you can’t keep your mouth shut and be respectful, you can leave this room.”
Emerson looked ready to stand his ground staring steadily back at his father, but then his mother ran a hand along his shoulders, rubbing gently at the tension, and whispered something in his ear. He nodded briskly and stalked into his room.
Dr. Kim cleared his throat. “Now, Renna, please sit. I want to present you with an opportunity for a vaccine of sorts.”
She sat across from him. “I thought there were no vaccines for this virus.”
“There aren’t. That’s what we are doing out here. The virus reacts to electricity. Our bodies naturally have a small amount of electricity running through them for each movement and nerve synapse. Part of how this virus works is to build on those synapses, to increase them at an alarming rate, basically overloading the body’s systems. That is why we work out here. No outside electricity leads to a more stable virus. Are you understanding me thus far?”
Renna nodded, though she felt like she was taking biology for dummies, and getting only half the story.
“Of course, there are certainly other factors as well. For what we’re asking you to do, they’re not important. What you need to focus on, is that with the samples we’ve taken from your brother, we have been able to isolate the newest mutation of the virus. It’s adapting in many truly amazing ways.” Soo cleared her throat gently behind him, as if to keep him on track. “Yes, well. We believe we have a vaccine that, given time, will create a functional amount of immunity.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, not sure she understood. “You want to give me this vaccine that might or might not work?”
He nodded once. “Yes. That is more or less the premise. You see, I need an uninfected person with similar genetic material to your brother, as the virus had already begun bonding to his genetic coding when we got the sample. It’s even starting to express itself in his saliva and mucous membranes. It’s truly a living work of art.” He sounded almost reverent when he spoke of the virus. “Thus, you are the only option.”
“Can’t you just take my blood and use it?”
“If it were so simple, we would not be having this conversation. Your body needs to adapt at the very level of your T-cells being created within your bone marrow. Then, we will take a sample of your marrow and begin to distill the antigen.”
Renna rubbed her temples in a circular motion. “What if it doesn’t work?”
The doctor folded his hands, long fingers interlacing smoothly. “Then you will change. It is a weakened version of the live virus that we will be using. We will keep you as safe as we can until the virus regulates within your system.”
Emerson burst back out of his room, “Or you will die. Don’t forget that part of it, Dad. You could go crazy, be uncontainable, and kill others. Or you could just die from complications.”
“Emerson!” His mother hissed and made a shushing motion with her hand. “You don’t need to scare her.”
“She has a right to know.” His brows were furrowed, fury building again.
“Perhaps you need some fresh air, my son. You are becoming agitated.” Soo pointed to the door, her shoulders tense.
With a growl of frustration, Emerson slammed through the door to the cabin, his pounding footsteps echoing as he crossed the porch.
Renna swallowed hard. “I…I don’t know. I need to think.”
“Of course you do. I understand. You can let me know your decision tomorrow. I’m afraid we can’t wait too long. As I said, the virus has begun a mutation cycle. One my wife predicted years ago. Now that it is beginning to express itself in the mucous membranes, it will become as contagious as the common cold. I predict it will take less than eight hundred new hosts to reach that level. Time is of the essence.” And with that, Dr. Kim gathered his notebook and stepped out into the night.
Renna sat in silence for a while as Soo folded laundry on the table next to her. She turned the risks over in her head. Death. Changing into a Wilder. With no guarantees that there would be any true benefit.
As if sensing her thoughts, Soo spoke soothingly. “It is scary, I know. But the science is good. It is sound. I’ve looked it over again and again. We’ve had two other geneticist and four of the infectious disease specialists look it over. We all believe it will work.”
“Isn’t this. Isn’t this how you changed? Trying new science? Testing vaccines on yourselves?”
The woman nodded, her voice still gentle. “Yes. We believe in the cause. That the greater good is above the self.”
Renna felt horror in the pit of her stomach, “You willingly infected your children?” No matter how angry her mother was, no matter how cold she seemed toward her, she knew she would never willing inject her with a live version of the virus. Not for any reason.
Sorrowfully, Soo responded, “As my husband said, there is a genetic component to this virus. There will be one, initially, to the cure. I… I am not sure we did the right thing. But I know in my heart that not trying at all would have been the wrong thing.”
After she had finished folding the laundry, she sat across from Renna in the chair her husband had vacated. “I want you to know that this one is different. When we took the virus, three years ago, the science was not as advanced as it is now. There
have been many advancements.. We now have a stronger sedative, a better understanding of the ways in which the virus changes the body. I believe, truly, that if we had waited and done it now, we would still have Thomas with us. But,” she steepled her hands and rested her forehead on them for a moment, “if we hadn’t infected ourselves, we wouldn’t be where we are now with the trials.” She looked up, “It is a devil’s choice.”
Renna stared across the table at her, studying her face. All she could see when she looked at her was Emerson’s features, sullen and furrowed as he walked out the door. How different would he have been, with different parents? A normal boy, going to a normal high school. She could imagine him as the popular kid in his class, with his easy laughter. Would he have had friends like Syd, who were confident and fun? Or would he have been quiet, like her, living contentedly in his older sibling’s shadow?
How different would she have been, with a living father?
How different could the world be, if they made a cure?
She was startled out of her thoughts by Soo patting her hand lightly, then standing.
“I must go to the lab now. Think about how you could help your friends and family. This virus will worsen. That is the one guarantee I can give you.” She was out the door and beyond Renna’s sight within moments, moving with the speed of a Wilder. Renna walked out and stood on the porch, staring after her into the darkness. She’d never missed Alyssa more than this moment. She would have told those scientists off for even suggesting to Renna that it was her duty to do this. She rubbed her arms, glaring out into the night.
“I wouldn’t try to find your way home by yourself, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Emerson pushed away from the tree he was leaning on. “Not that I’d hold it against you for wanting to. If you want to leave, just say the word. I’ll get you home.” He was holding out an unsnapped glow stick.
“No I… I don’t know what I want.” She took the stick, snapping it and shaking the chemicals together.