“Then date me again, appease my parents.” His words come as a plea and I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “Appease your mee-maw.”
“After everything that happened?”
“Look, it’s not about sex or anything,” his cheeks go pink in the dark, I see the color. “I really like you. You’re not like the other girls in school.”
Something is off about this. It’s almost too easy. “Is this to get back at Kane? To prove that you’re a big man or something?”
“No.” He scratches the peach fuzz on his jaw. He’s almost a man but not quite, it’s still attractive though even if compared to Kane he’s practically a preschooler. Not his fault that Kane started puberty before he was born. He could probably grow a full beard if he wanted to. “This is purely because I like you, my parents like you, and because I need them off my back.”
“Right.”
“I like hanging out with you.”
“We haven’t hung out for three months,” I point out and he looks at the sky. I was right when I guessed that something is off about this. It’s weird and random and I can tell he has a motive. “What’s wrong? What is it?”
“Nothing,” he snaps, annoyed now. “Forget I asked.”
“Hey,” I soothe, placing my hand on his thigh. “I’m more trouble than I’m worth. You’ve gotta find somebody else.”
“Sure.” He doesn’t look as though he believes me.
“Friends though?”
He smiles for real now. “Sure. I’m sorry I stopped talking to you after what happened.”
“I deserved it. I wasn’t good to you. And that’s why I know there’s a reason you’re asking me to date you and I don’t think it’s got anything to do with the fact you like me.”
Laughing, he looks back through the window and whispers, “Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you.”
“When you can trust me, you mean?”
“Exactly.”
“Well…” I hop off the swing and turn to face him. “If you need a cover for what you actually wanna be doing, I’m your girl.”
“Thanks, Immy.”
“No problem Marshall.”
“No problem, Marshall,” Kane mimics, making his tone high-pitched and whiny. He has just rounded the house, likely having jumped the gate. “This is interesting.”
“Oh fuck off, hillbilly,” I snap at the guy I’ve been secretly having sex with. Although dinner tonight proved that my love life ain’t so secret. “Go get your hair cut.”
“You like my hair when it touches the insides of your thighs,” he argues and looks Marshall up and down. “Fuck off, poser.”
“Kane, he’s a guest. You fuck off.”
Kane’s eyes darken and my brother grabs his shoulder before he can approach. “Why don’t we go hang out? I’ve got a doobie in my pocket that’s just dying to be lit.”
“Naw, I’ve got some unfinished business to take care of with your sister.” Shrugging my brother off, he keeps going and stops with his forehead against mine. Our eyes connect, his are blue and fierce. Mine are hazel and defiant. His mouth moves as he chews on a wad of gum.
“Why are you in my personal space?”
“Why are you pretending you’re bothered?”
I scoff and try to look at Marshall but Kane nudges his head against my own. “Eyes on me, babe. You better tell me right now; did you invite this prick?”
“Don’t call him a prick.”
“Mee-maw invited him, his parents are inside,” Poppy explains, frowning at us both. “And if she catches you out here, Kane Jessop, she’s gonna take it out on Imogen.”
“That’s what he’s countin’ on,” I say with a roll of my eyes. He wants Mee-maw to catch me so she beats me and I run straight to his bed. “Kane back up. I’m not in the mood.”
“Not in the mood?”
I shove his chest and step around him. Looking at Poppy, I say, “I’m going inside. Call me when he’s gone.”
Kane snags my braid and pulls me back a step.
“This is how it’s gonna be?”
“Yes, I don’t want to be your toy anymore,” I admit, turning and yanking on my braid until he releases it. “I’m done.”
“Done?” He spits his gum into a distant plant pot and wets his lips. “So just like that you get to decide it?”
“I don’t want to be your time filler!” I hiss, exasperated now.
“You ain’t my time filler.”
“Then what the fuck am I?”
“You’re…” he hesitates as he tries to think of a word. “Mine.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only fucking answer I have you argumentative bitch.”
“Don’t call my sister a bitch,” Matthew snaps and I send him a grateful smile.
I shrug and catch Kane’s eyes without blinking. “And it’s a shit answer. So, go about your evenin’ and I’ll go about mine.”
“Tell me what you want from me,” Kane growls, grabbing my bicep and pulling me around the building. “I swear you just wanna fight, right? That’s it. You want dick and then fire? Because I’m not feelin’ these games, Immy.”
“Fuck you, Kane, you love the games. You play them more than I do.”
I watch him light a cigarette but I take it from his lips, snap it and throw it on the ground.
“You know how much I hate those.”
“Yeah, well, I’m stressed.”
Pointing towards the road I demand, “Yeah, well, go be stressed somewhere else and smoke your death sticks for comfort alone.”
“You want me to quit? Say the word, Immy and I’ll quit.” He tosses his packet on the ground. “You want me to get down on my knees and eat your pussy, just say the word and I’ll do it.” He gets down on his knees and looks up at me. “You want me to worship every inch of your body, I’ll do it.”
“I want you to figure out what you want from me.”
“No, you want me to figure out what you want from me,” he corrects and I find myself stammering to form words that make sense. “I know what I want without the labels. I wanna keep on going with you.”
“But you don’t care if I leave.”
“Wouldn’t be here on my knees if I didn’t fuckin’ care, Imogen.” With that he stands and cages me in. “Now tell me, what the fuck do you want from me so I can do it and make you stop being such a fuckin’ bitch.”
“Stop calling me a bitch for a start. Stop insulting me at all.”
“Hell naw. That’s our thing. I say it but I don’t mean it and you know it.”
He has a point. I fight a smile and his eyes go to my lips. I know he’s seen it.
“What do you really want?”
“A date,” I blurt and regret it immediately when his brows hit his hairline.
“A… date?”
“Yep, I wanna be wined and dined, and then dined on.”
“Fuckin’ don’t want much,” he grumbles but I can see his smile. “And that’ll chill you the fuck out?”
I place my palm against his chest. “I want you to want to date me. I don’t want you to do it because I said so.”
“I’ve never done that before. I just smile and bone. It’s how I am.” He pinches my chin softly and drags his thumb over it. “But I can think of worse people to eat with. We can do that.”
“Seriously?”
“Why do you look so pissed again?”
“Because you’re an idiot.”
He growls and pushes his hair back. “You’re impossible. Fuckin’ impossible.”
“I’m tryna be!”
Walking away, I’m forced to stop when he snags me around the waist and buries his face in my neck. “Come on, Immy. Show me your panties and let’s forget about this shit.”
I’m ashamed to admit that I am tempted.
“Guys, Mee-maw is coming,” Poppy hisses, poking her head around the corner.
“I should let her catch me so she tries to beat your ass and you end up in my
bed tonight,” Kane whispers in my ear and kisses my jaw. “But, swear it, don’t care if she’s becomin’ an old lady, she keeps sending you with bruises I will shove her on her ass.”
“Even you’re not that vicious,” I reply through the side of my mouth which he kisses.
“I’ll be waiting for you at lights out, down the road in my car. Don’t disappoint me, Immy.” He pushes his hard cock against my rear as his hand holds me across my stomach, keeping me against him. “All this yellin’ has made my dick hard. Need you to fix it.”
“Or you’ll find somebody else to?” I retort.
He kisses me again and slips around the front of the house. I bend low and scoop up a candy bar wrapper that has blown into the garden just as Mee-maw joins me.
“That’s a good girl, keepin’ our home clean.” She rubs my arm and follows me to the trashcan. “Marshall is going to pick you up for school in the morning.”
“Okay, Mee-maw.” I don’t argue, there’s no point.
“There’s my good girl.”
Good girl? What am I? A dog?
We all head inside, Marshall included and when they leave not half an hour later and Mee-maw faces me, I’m already ready to run.
“Kane Jessop?” she shrieks and I roll my eyes. I knew it was coming. “You’ve been dating Kane Jessop?”
“Yes.” I raise my hand. “Don’t you dare throw anything at me!”
“Why won’t you do as you’re told? Why won’t you learn?”
I shrug. “I guess I must be stupid!”
“Stupid, no. Tempted by demons, yes. The Jessop family are not a nice family! This is such an embarrassment.”
“Grandpa used to go see Mr. Jessop all the time!”
“He’s the only mechanic in this town,” she seethes, and raises her hands to her hair to neaten her white bun. “He didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Not true, he used to take me with him and we’d sit on the bikes.”
Sorry for ratting you out Grandpa.
“Don’t you bad mouth your grandpa when he isn’t here to defend himself!” She steps towards me and I step back. “You are not to see that boy ever again, you hear me?”
“I’ll see whoever I want,” I reply and that was absolutely the wrong thing to stay, still, I don’t stop. “I’m a good kid, Mee-maw. I get good grades. I go to church. I help around the house. I work. I don’t do drugs or get into trouble. What does it matter who I date?”
“Who you date and spend your time with is everything. It’s the view of yourself that you give to your neighbors.” Her voice is so deep.
“I don’t care what people think of me!”
“Well you should!” She smooths down her apron. “You’re just like your momma, she never listened either!”
“What about Matthew? Huh? He does what he wants when he wants. You don’t even moan at him about chores! How is that fair?”
“Matthew is a boy. Boys have a different purpose in this life. He needs to rid his body of his demons so when he finds a nice woman to settle down with, he can repent his sins and be a stable family man!”
“You sound insane! Because I have a vagina I’m meant to be perfect my entire life? Well I’m not perfect, Mee-maw. I’ll never be perfect. I don’t want to be perfect!”
“I will not raise two harlot daughters! It was shameful enough with the one. By God it took me a long time to win back the trust of my community. And then she just had to get pregnant with you two at sixteen.” She whips a hand through the air and shrieks, “SIXTEEN!”
“You were seventeen when you had mom.”
Her hands ball into fists by her sides, stretching out the few wrinkles and making her knuckles white. We all do that when we’re angry. It’s a Hardy thing. “I was married and to a good man! Your mother was sixteen and hadn’t finished school! Your daddy didn’t want nothin’ to do with his bastard children.”
My deadbeat dad doesn’t even live in town anymore, he and his family moved not long after the scandal that was him knocking up my mom. He never came back for me no matter how often I fantasized about it as a kid.
“That’s not my fault.”
“No, you’re right, it’s not, but the least you can do in return for me taking you in, is behave and hang with pleasant and wholesome people. I only just tolerate Poppy. But I will not tolerate Kane Jessop. No, I will not.” She points up the stairs. “Go to your room. You’re grounded until further notice.”
“For dating Kane Jessop?”
“YES!” she shrieks, losing her cool again.
Grumbling under my breath I stomp up the stairs and slam the door behind me, knowing how much she hates it.
Imogen: Marshall’s parents outed us to Mee-maw and now I’m grounded!
Kane: Sneak out. What’s the big deal?
Imogen: I’m not deliberately disobeying her, Kane.
Kane: So what, you’re just not gonna see me no more?
Imogen: I didn’t say that… I’m just saying I’m going to let her cool off. I’m not trying to be a bitch to her. I only run when she hits me. You know this.
Kane: You put up with way too much, Immy.
Imogen: What choice do I have? Just gotta keep saving for college and get my ass out of here the moment I graduate.
Kane: Sounds dope.
Imogen: Don’t sound too enthusiastic, Kane.
Kane: Ain’t nothin to be enthusiastic about, Imogen Hardy. If you fucking leave me I’ll have to move onto a basic bitch. I don’t want a basic bitch.
Imogen: There’s a compliment in there somewhere and maybe an admission that you like like me.
Kane: Don’t be racing ahead there. I’m just saying if I’m gonna be stuck here with my dad, I want to be stuck here with you.
Imogen: We should text more often. You’re much nicer and easier to understand.
Kane: See, I didn’t think that was nice.
Imogen: In comparison to your usual. It was nice.
Kane: Fair point.
Kane: So are you sneaking out or what? I need to get my dick wet.
Imogen: Give me an hour.
Kane: Babe I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want if you swallow my junk again.
Imogen: No. So gross. You can put it on my tits.
Kane: That’s good too.
Imogen: ;-)
26 years old
“Wait!” Felicia calls, rushing after me, her blonde hair getting tangled in her lips. She spits it out, making me smile despite my sadness and links her arm through mine. “Don’t run. Not again.”
“You gonna keep questioning me?”
She shakes her head. “Only about everything I’ve missed.”
“Promise?”
“Of course. I’m not mad with you for shit you did as a kid. We all make mistakes. I want to know what made you the gorgeous woman you are today.”
“Me too.” Kane’s voice has my bottom lip quivering. “Shit, Immy… I’m fucking mad but… don’t leave without telling me what I’ve missed.”
“Can we do that?” I ask him, not releasing Felicia’s arm. “Can we talk without fighting?”
“Worth a shot,” he puts in, tucking his fingertips into the pockets of his jeans. The breeze picks up his hair and throws a few tendrils across his face. They cover one of his eyes as he looks down at me, hatred swims there but it’s not as prominent as it was.
“Okay. Good because I want to know about you guys too.”
He nods but doesn’t smile. It must be hard for him after my admission. Though it’s saying something if he still feels hurt by it after all this time. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
“Did you go to college?” Felicia asks and I confirm with a dip of my head. “Did you graduate?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Dropped out.”
Kane snorts so I shoot him a dirty look.
“So what do you do?” He sounds mocking and arrogant making me want to spray his face again. I feel Felicia guide me back inside and just decide to go with i
t. West’s smile at my reappearance is tight but I know he’s hurting for his son who obviously did some hurting of his own all them years ago. Trust me when I say their pain was nothing compared to mine.
“Tattoos, Kane,” I respond with a proud grin as his ocean blue eyes darken. “I do tattoos.”
“Are you good?” Felicia asks as Kane assesses me in a new light, through narrowed slits and a slightly raised chin.
“I won Best Tattoo Artist of the year in Minnesota six months ago.”
“Impressive,” Felicia breathes, widening her eyes. “Can you do me one? I’ll pay you! I been lookin’ to get somethin’ on the back of my left shoulder.”
“Sure, just hit me up.”
Kane keeps on assessing me. He’s looking for any lie I might tell. He always was good at calling me on my shit. He’s getting sloppy though.
West is the one who asks, “Is that where you’re living now?”
I reply with a nod and say, “In St Paul, Minneapolis. It’s so nice.”
“You don’t need to tell us your full fuckin’ address, ain’t nobody chasing after you,” Kane snaps, thinking I’ve got some kind of hidden agenda.
“Kane,” Felicia hisses. “You promised.”
I take his attitude with a pinch of salt as I always did.
“What have you been doing with yourself?” I ask him to take the subject off me.
“Workin’ with my dad, took over the garage so he could spend time with Felicia,” Kane responds flatly.
“No wife? No… kids?” I try so hard to smile genuinely but I just can’t. I hate it. Even after all this time.
“Nope. Fuck that.” He smirks at me. “I treat a few to my bed sometimes but I ain’t never settlin’ down again.”
I laugh hysterically for a moment. “You thought we were settled?”
“We were fuckin’ happy.”
“Sure, you psychotic fuckwit!”
“Says you, fuckin’ banshee. Soundin’ like a dyin’ cat every time you opened your mouth.” He makes his tone high and mocking. “Kane Jessop. You’re such a dick Kane Jessop. Give me your di—”
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