Kane: You comin? Bed’s cold.
I ignore that too.
It’s petulant and stupid but I’m loving every second.
Kane: Come on, babe. You know I was just fuckin’ with you.
I’m not replying until he says he’s sorry and means it and promises that he won’t do that shit again. He’s can be a real ass sometimes and he knows it. But it’s not okay. I haven’t done anything to make him not trust me. I spend all my free time with him when I’m not with friends. He always gets such a bee in his bonnet over Marshall despite the fact Marshall has repeatedly told Kane we are just friends. Kane doesn’t believe it. It’s frustrating. But for him to insinuate that I’d have sex with somebody else at all, let alone after we’ve already had sex, it’s just fucked up.
I wake up in the morning to ten missed calls and three texts. Two texts are from Kane and the third is from Poppy. All the calls are him. This brings me some small amount of satisfaction. I shouldn’t play these games but… what’s wrong with making him sweat a little?
Kane: Come on, Immy. Why you being such a bitch? I’ve done worse and you’ve still fucked me after.
Kane: Screw you then.
He’s frustrated. He wants me to react which is what I’d normally do. I’m not reacting this time. Especially not now he’s blamed me by calling me a bitch.
Poppy: How y’all holding up? Kane at your door yet?
Imogen: Not yet. He still hasn’t apologized. He did call me a bitch though.
Poppy: He’ll be there with an attitude before you know it.
Imogen: I’m counting on it.
Poppy: LOL. Me too, can’t wait.
I kiss Mee-maw’s cheek on my way out and thank her for the lunch she has made for me. She’s been really chilled out lately which is nice. We’ve been getting on a lot better than we usually do and she seems to have made a few new friends. One is a born again Christian and by God does he go on about his love for Jesus Christ.
He’s a member of some kind of Jesus fan club called the Righteous Voices and he comes to visit Mee-maw every Tuesday and Thursday without fail. He seems to keep her calm and grounded. She’s been less shrill and bitter since he intervened and for that I’m grateful.
Mee-maw needs more genuine people in her life. All her friends are so fake and fair-weather. But then, Mee-maw is no different. She’d drop you for the slightest indiscretion.
“Have a good day, sweet pea,” she utters, using my nickname from when I was a little girl.
“Thanks, Mee-maw. You too!”
I race down the driveway to the road, hitching my bag up my shoulder and smiling when I see Marshall’s car pull up at the end. My hair, which I got Mee-maw to trim last night, bounces behind me, tickling the skin of my back. My t-shirt has a deep V at the back and is tight all around really showing off my cleavage. I want to really make Kane suffer today while I blank him.
I don’t want to break up with him, but he needs to know I will if he keeps treating me like he has.
The thought is painful, in fact thinking of him moving on with anybody else enrages me, but I can handle pain. I can’t handle this anger I feel at him treating me like that.
I dive into the passenger seat, grin at him, tweak the radio and listen as he talks shit about his coach. Marshall has buffed out these past few months. He’s grown a couple of inches too. I stare at his profile, smiling gently as he rages about school and how unfair his teammates are being. I wonder if I’m the only person he vents to.
He’s so damn popular and has plenty of people around him, but how many of them know the real him like I do?
“What?” Marshall asks, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.
“You’re my best friend, Marshall Jones and outside of Kane, the handsomest boy I ever met.”
His cheeks pink and his hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Now I know you want somethin’ since you’re sweet talkin’ me.”
Laughing, I rest my head back and keep on smiling. “Nope. Just wanted you to know that I love you and I’m sorry my boyfriend is such a dick to you. He’s missin’ out.”
“You reckon?”
“Absolutely.”
He places his hand on my thigh and squeezes for a brief moment before letting me go. “You’re my best friend too, Imogen Hardy. Who’d have thought we’d be here where we’re at now?”
“Right? I was just thinking the same thing.”
“But I promise you, my future partner treats you the way your boyfriend treats me, they ain’t nobody I wanna be with.”
I roll my eyes. “Low key insulting my king. You know that’s against the rules.”
He chuckles and puts his foot down. “How long until you speak to him again?”
“Duh, when he says sorry.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
I blanche because I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“Immy?” Marshall prompts.
“He will.”
“You don’t sound so sure.”
I lift a shoulder. “He will.”
“And if he doesn’t.”
“Then me and him have got nothing more to talk about.”
Pain lances through my chest so powerful I press my hand against my heart to make sure it’s still beating. It is, though barely. Would it ever beat again if I left him?
“You love him.”
“I do,” I confirm, scowling now. “That bastard trapped me.”
“Not sure you can blame this one on him, Imogen. Way I see it is he’s tried hella hard to make you hate him since you were little.”
Smiling again, I acknowledge that he has a point by sticking my wet finger in his ear.
“Gross.”
I wipe it on his jeans, laughing evilly the entire time.
When we pull into the school grounds, sure enough Kane Jessop is waiting for me. His shoulder length hair is loose today and his blue eyes are glowing with a scowl. His hands are tucked into his front pockets making his biceps bulge and tighten below the short sleeves of his T-shirt.
Oh he’s mad.
He stares me down as I climb out of Marshall’s vehicle. I don’t even look at him. I raise my chin and all but skip to Poppy and my brother who seem to be having some kind of argument that they don’t want any of us to hear.
They stop as I approach and Poppy gives me a tight-lipped smile. My brother stomps away, throwing his hands up in the air as he goes.
“What just happened?” I question, looking at my friend with concern in my gaze. It’s unlike them to argue, they just don’t fight. So whatever it is must be bad.
“We’re disagreeing on college.”
“Right,” I utter because I totally understand that.
I look back at Kane and my brows pull together. He’s talking to a girl called Della. She’s sweet and pretty and tall with legs for days. She’s also a cheerleader and I just know she wants in Kane’s pants though she’s never made a move to my knowledge.
I act like it doesn’t bother me while listening to Poppy rant about how she thinks Austin is the better choice whereas my brother wants to go to Dallas. They both want to stay in state though so I don’t know what the big deal is.
“Just go to different colleges?” I suggest and she looks insulted. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I really want to go to Dallas but Austin is closer to Kane.”
“The feminist in me is telling you not to decide your fate based on a guy but what a hypocrite that would make me.”
I laugh a little but it’s sad. “I hate all these grown up decisions. We’re hardly into our senior year and just every day is stress filled with another decision to make that could potentially derail our future.”
She hums her agreement and scowls ahead, looking so frustrated. I wrap my arm around her waist and smile at her my biggest smile.
“He’s gonna love you no matter where you both go.”
“He said he doesn’t want a long-distance relationship.”
I get that, but… it
’s Matthew and Poppy. They are relationship goals.
Speaking of relationship goals, Kane Jessop’s arms suddenly wrap around my waist. I quirk a brow at Poppy as he hugs me from behind as though everything is normal.
“You chilled the fuck out now?” he asks, nuzzling the back of my neck.
Poppy glares at him. “Are you dimwitted, Kane? Because you sure ain’t smart when it comes to women.”
“Stay out of this, don’t fuckin’ need two bitches gangin’ up on me.”
I stomp on his foot, not too hard but enough to make him hiss from the pain and release me.
“So I guess that’s a no then?” Kane shouts as I walk away. “Not playin’ this game Immy.”
I keep going, smiling smugly as he follows. I can see his reflection in the entrance doors of the school as we approach. Poppy smirks at me, sharing my wicked thoughts and excitement.
It’s inside when he grabs my arm and yanks me to the side, shoving me so hard against the lockers the metal rattles so loudly that everyone looks our way. He gives my arm a shake and dips his head, forcing me to look into his eyes. “You got beef with me, we talk about it.”
I sigh and try to duck under his arm but he brings me back again.
“Give me your fuckin’ eyes, Imogen Hardy. I ain’t playin’.” He cups my face tenderly with his hand. “Now you’re gonna have to tell me what I did so I can fix it.”
“You know what you did,” I snap, scowling now.
“Is this about what I said to Martian?”
My eyes narrow and my hands ball into fists. “Don’t call him that.”
“You’re defendin’ him now?”
“Absolutely. He’s my friend.”
“He more than that?” Kane questions as the bell rings overhead. People stop watching and start moving. They’re used to our fights by now, but this one is actually real. Especially now he just went and thoroughly pissed me off.
“You seriously think I’d do that?” I gape at him, shaking my head slightly. “You’re an ass, Kane Jessop.”
“And you’re not answerin’ me.” His tone is a growl and he cages me in, still scanning my eyes like the answers might be there. “You havin’ your cake and eating it as well?”
“I’m not dignifying that question with a fucking answer.” This time I successfully escape, though only for a moment.
“Immy,” he snaps but there’s a vulnerability to his tone that has me stopping in my tracks and twisting back to face him. He lets me go, allowing me the space to turn to face him because I know he’s not going to let me walk away. “Be real with me.”
My lips part. He’s worried, genuinely. I can see it swimming in his guarded eyes and my heart gives a little flip.
“You’re crazy if you think I’d ever cheat on you, Kane Jessop.” I approach him and place my hand on his heart. It’s beating wildly and I wonder if all those extra thuds are just for me. “You’re the only guy I want and need. But yesterday was fucked up. The things you said. And then the constant paranoia. You always talk to girls and I don’t say shit. Yet you constantly seem to think I’m some kinda whore.” I throw my hands up and let them drop. “Like I ever have the time.”
“You smile at him,” he blurts when I start to walk away again.
“He makes me happy,” I reply and his features sink to a depth I have never seen. “He’s just a friend, Kane. A good one. Dig deep and maybe he could be yours too.”
“No way am I hangin’ with that fucking tool.”
I laugh humorlessly and walk away again. “You’re the only one acting like a tool here, Kane.”
The hall is empty, I’m late for class. I’m going to get a bad mark and Mee-maw will probably be called. Fucking Kane.
“Babe,” he tries, his tone softer now. I love it when it gets soft.
“You gotta straighten your shit out, Kane. I’m not sticking around if this is how you’re always gonna be. It’s fun, but not always and at the moment, it’s not always is a lot more than the other.”
“I don’t want to be his friend.”
“You don’t have to be. But you do have to respect him because he’s mine.”
He growls and chases me again, this time when he snags me, I let him. He backs me up into the wall and kisses the curve of my neck.
“He’s got money, Immy. He’s got cash and a fuckin’ lot of it.”
“So?”
“He’s probably going to Dallas like you.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“Still.” His soft blue eyes search my face and his lips twitch with a gentle but defeated smile. “I’m stayin’ here for my dad and for me. I don’t want to leave.”
“Then stay, I’m not asking you to follow.”
“But what if he follows you where I can’t?”
“Then you should be grateful I’ve got a friend who will look after me wherever I go.”
His hold tightens as his body becomes cement.
“I want you to stay,” he finally says and I’ve been waiting weeks to hear it. I never thought he’d say it. Never thought he wanted it. And now I’m posed with it I don’t know what to do. “Don’t know dick about love, Imogen Hardy.”
“So you’ve said.”
“But I sure do know that I love you.”
My breath catches in my throat where a lump is swelling, making my eyes burn with unshed tears. He’s never said it. Didn’t think he ever would. And now he has I’ve never felt such deep happiness.
“Don’t want you to leave. Couldn’t stand it. So, go to Austin college, we can commute.”
“You love me?” I whisper, smiling now.
“Yeah.” He says this so simply, so easily. “You love me back?”
I nod, letting tears slide out of the corners of my eyes and down my soft cheeks. “Yeah.”
“Then what’s left to figure out?” His calloused thumbs catch the droplets and spread them across my cheekbones.
“Everything,” I reply even quieter than before and he presses his lips to mine.
I kiss him hard and deep and forever. I don’t want it to stop but a teacher rounds the corner and starts shouting at us. I race away without looking back because I might start crying again.
Kane Jessop definitely doesn’t hate me anymore.
Well… at least until lunch when he finally hears about me going to homecoming with Marshall. The entire school is talking about it. I sort of regret not bringing it up with him.
“Not happening,” Kane states. It’s the only thing he says when he approaches, eyes blazing with fury. I know exactly what he’s talking about.
“You gonna take me?”
“Fuck no. But we can go to the movies or some shit. I’ll take you out to dinner.”
“As tempting as that is, I’m going to homecoming, I’m going with Poppy, Marshall and my brother. If you want to join us, you can. If you want to help me get ready or take me to dinner before, you can.” I kiss his cheek and smile sweetly. “The invitation is there.”
“Are you purposely trying to piss me off?”
“No. I’m going to homecoming with my best friends. Are you purposely trying to be a dick?”
He presses his lips together and pushes a hand through his hair. “Fine. I’ll go riding with a few people. You go to your stupid dance. We’ll meet up after.”
“And you’re not gonna give me shit about it?”
“Nope,” he grits and I can see him trying. “Not gonna be a dick because I gotta get used to this shit. If you’re living in Austin and you’re in a co-ed dorm, I need to be able to chill about you and other guys or I might not get any sleep.”
“Damn, Kane,” I push my hands into his back pockets and grip his rear which is undeniably so tight. “You really are tryin’.”
“Shut up,” he commands and kisses me deep. Reminding people that I’m still his.
“Tell me again that you love me.”
“Shut up,” he repeats, smiling at me.
Laughing, I slide my ha
nds up his back and rub his shoulders and neck.
“We’ll talk about Austin college later,” he whispers in my ear and pulls back with swollen lips and flushed, stubbled cheeks. “And everything else.”
“We’re good?”
“We’re good.”
I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.
17 years old
Homecoming
“Noooo,” I utter, rubbing my lower stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Poppy asks as she threads a shiny hoop earring through her ear.
“I’m getting my period.”
“Damn, that sucks. You got tampons in your purse?”
“Duh. But I really wanted to fuck Kane in this dress later.”
She grins at my reflection wickedly. “Does it ever feel weird to you, being in a sexual relationship with somebody?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like do you ever feel too grown up for your own good?”
I nod softly. “I guess. I think about it sometimes and it blows my mind. But then again, Kane blows my mind.”
“Yeah from what you’ve said he really blows your mind. I wish Matthew would give me head as often as Kane gives you head.”
“Ew.”
She raises her hands, brown eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’m just saying. The honeymoon period is over for us.” Sadness sweeps away her happiness. “I think he might break up with me.”
“No. He loves you. He’d lose his mind without you.”
She wets her glossy lips and twists her hands in front of her. “He’s been texting Micha Riley behind my back. He doesn’t know I know.”
My heart sinks and clatters into my stomach. Would my brother do that to her?
“She asked him how big his dick was and he replied, why? Do you want to sit on it?”
“Oh my God,” I whisper, feeling emotional on her behalf. “Have you talked to him about it?”
“No,” she admits and smiles sadly. “I’m terrified of the answer and how far they took it.”
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