“Not much to tell, bit of a loner, I have my own tattoo shop.”
“Wait that’s yours?” Kane asks, quirking a brow. “You never mentioned that.”
“Didn’t need to. Bought it with the money I got from the state after my… after the thing.”
He nods, looking solemn. “You got deep roots here then.”
“It’s just a building, Kane.”
He doesn’t look like he believes me but truth be told I’m not attached to much in this life, especially not a building. Bought it because I wanted to be my own boss, kept getting fired by my old ones.
“That’s awesome, Immy. You do tattoos? You always were good at drawing.” Poppy sounds so happy, genuinely so.
I smile at the phone, wishing it would morph into my old friend. “It was hell without you.”
“I should hope so,” she jests, and Kane picks up the phone.
“She’ll call you back,” Kane promises.
“She better.” She laughs lightly and I recall how badly I have missed that sound. “See you later guys.”
“Bye,” I murmur.
The line dies when Kane hangs up and stuffs his phone into his back pocket.
“You good?” he asks tenderly, turning me in his arms. I don’t need to confirm, he brushes my hair back, cups my cheek and presses his forehead to mine. “You’re good. Ain’t gonna let anybody chew you out. Don’t worry, darlin’.”
“Except you, right?”
“Yeah, but you can take it from me and know that I’ll still fuckin’ feel the same way about you at the end.”
I press my cheek to his chest. “Do you think I’m weak?”
“I think you’re the strongest girl I ever saw, Imogen Hardy.”
“Pretty sure that’s you,” I retort, smiling and then squealing when he squeezes my ass so hard it hurts.
“Go to work, I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”
“Okay.”
I pull away but he yanks me back and crushes his lips against mine. I love it when he does that.
As he said he would, he spends the whole day poring over those files. When he returns to me later with a bag of food, I can see how physically and mentally drained he is. This is what I didn’t want for him. It’s breaking my heart, a heart I was sure could never be hurt again.
He doesn’t do much talking, just walks me home and sets about making dinner.
Who’d have thought that vicious unruly boy always getting into trouble would know how to make the meanest spaghetti bolognese I ever did taste? Who’d have thought the boy I once knew would become the incredible man I’m looking at right now?
God, he deserved to move on and find love with a woman less damaged than me, but all I see when he looks at me with that handsome and crooked smile, is total adoration. Kane Jessop never stopped loving me anymore than I stopped loving him. Even our mutual hatred couldn’t destroy our bond. A bond that shouldn’t exist. A bond that makes no sense.
We were always destined for terrible things, I just never could have imagined it would be this.
“What you thinkin’?” I ask as he moves around my kitchen looking for a bottle opener so we can have a beer to wash down our dinner.
He pops the lids off and tosses both into the trash. I take the beer he offers, and swallow a long pull with lip smacking satisfaction.
“Not thinking of nothin’,” he responds, rubbing his face with his hands before leaning over his plate and twisting some spaghetti around his fork. “I’m all thinked out.”
I know that feeling well too.
“What are you thinking?”
“About you,” I honestly state and fill my mouth with food.
“What about me?”
“About us, I guess. It’s all a little confusing.”
“What’s confusing about it?”
I motion between the both of us with the bottom of my bottle and take a smaller gulp this time. “We’re just acting like no time has passed.”
“Yeah, and?” His blue eyes scan my face. Does he really not feel any confusion about our relationship at this point.
“And I just don’t know what this is or what you want it to be.”
“It is what it is, don’t want it to be nothin’ beyond what it is.”
I laugh, confused and conflicted. “That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer I’ve got right now.” He stuffs more food in his mouth and winks. “Stop thinkin’ just eat, drink, try to chill. We need a shut off point or it’s gonna tear us apart.”
I puff out my cheeks and place my fork on my almost finished plate. “Never been able to just chill. Can’t remember a night where I had any peace.”
“That why you won’t let me fuck you again?”
I stiffen and I know it’s visible because his lips twitch into a smirk.
“Yeah, that’s how your body gets when I touch you.”
I narrow my eyes. “That’s not true.”
“It is. But it’s okay.” He licks clean his lips and winks at me. “I’m hoping the beer will soften you up.”
My jaw drops and I almost laugh. “I guess I’m just a bit tense.”
“Yeah no shit.”
“Kane,” I admonish, and he smiles again, for real this time, not just a smirk.
“You’ll definitely soften up when I eat you later.”
My eyes widen and I almost choke on my beer.
His grin is mischievous and boyish. “Remember when you used to get pissed at me, all I’d have to do is drop to my knees and worship your pussy. You’d still be pissed but you were too polite to leave or throw me out after I made you come.” His teeth trap his lip and then it pings free. Fuck. “I always made you come. Always. Never failed. Fuckin’ loved it. Loved conquering your body like that.”
His words have me pressing my thighs together. “Stop.”
“Even better was you’d completely forget you were pissed and why you were pissed.”
My eyes become slits and he chuckles like it’s funny when it absolutely isn’t.
“Even my daddy called you firecracker when you weren’t listenin’, said I needed a girl like you to keep me in a good place.” He finishes his beer and his smile fades. “He was right. I was a shit after you vanished. Didn’t do good things to people. Joined the Renegades for a while and caused all kinds of trouble, hurt some people.”
“But you looked so put together when I came.”
“I turned my life around, stopped hurting my dad and focused on my work. Took a few courses in Austin.”
“I’m proud of you for that. Wish you could’a found better than me.”
“You make it sound like there is better than you. You’re forgettin’ all the shit we did together, all the fun we had.” He stacks my plate on top of his.
“Not forgetting any of it, trust me. I cherish every moment. It’s just painful.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I sigh a heavy breath and stand. “What’s the plan now? Where do we go from here?”
“We find our kid.”
“That’s not gonna happen overnight.”
“I know.”
I frown. “So you’re what, going to stay here until we find her? Your daddy needs you.”
“My kid needs me. My daddy will be fine without me. Unless you want to follow me back to Faceless? Set up shop there? I’m assuming the only reason you stayed here is because of Webber?”
I nod. “That and I needed out.”
“Does it fall under Illinois jurisdiction? Where was Righteous Hill?”
“Texas, east of Wichita Falls. So it’s not Illinois jurisdiction anymore but Webber keeps in touch with their offices for updates. Calls weekly. I call too.”
He nods softly. “Y’all have really put the work in then.”
I move around the table and slide onto his lap. “I’m sorry it’s not helping much.”
“Me too. But it just means we need a new angle.”
I don’t reply, I jus
t detangle his hair with my fingers and pull it back from his face. “Can you ever forgive me for what I’ve done to you?”
“Immy, you got every part of me. Ain’t nothin’ to forgive. You just gotta forgive yourself.” He yanks my hair and pulls my face to his, kissing me deeper than he ever has.
“Stop!” I squeak playfully, trying to pull away. “I taste like spaghetti.”
“The best made spaghetti in this part of the U.S. of A.”
We laugh together and go back to kissing. I don’t even remember the spaghetti when he pushes his chair back and stands, holding me by my thighs. His hands are so large and warm. My arms on his shoulders tighten to distribute my weight, even though he makes me feel entirely weightless.
He walks blindly to my bedroom, lowering me when we reach the bed.
We stare at each other, chests rising and falling, until he bends and grasps the hem of my chiffon top and pulls it upwards until I’m standing in front of him, braless and with pointed nipples reacting to the cold and my arousal. I gently loosen his belt and push his pants down. When I grasp him he pulls my hand away.
“Not a chance, fuckin’ embarrassing how little time it takes me to come with you, Immy. You touch it, I’m going to blow before I get to put it in.”
Laughing, I stop when my back hits the bed and he drops to his knees, wraps his hands around my hips and drags me to the side. All my breath hits my lungs with a sharp inhale the moment his mouth closes over my jeans, right where my clit is. He soon yanks them down my thighs and pulls just one leg free. I’m bare to him now, exposed and he doesn’t give me a second to think about it.
It has been so long since I let a guy go down on me. In fact I’m pretty sure he’s the only guy I have ever let go down on me.
My lips part and my back arches when he parts me with his strong tongue. The feeling is out of this world. I want to clamp my thighs shut to stop the burning tingles that are taking over all my other senses.
He’s even better than he was when we were younger, or maybe that’s just because I haven’t been touched in so long.
I moan and hum, losing all my inhibitions the more my pleasure builds. What is it about both ends of the pleasure and pain spectrum that just make us completely lose ourselves?
My head goes back, I bite my lip, my hands go to his hair and just like that I’m seventeen again, not letting him stop until I’m done. He laughs against me and I lose it. For the first time in years I’m blinded by my orgasm’s power as it rips through my body.
I groan so loudly I vaguely hear my neighbor banging on the wall but I don’t care about that either. The old bitch is a religious tyrant like my mee-maw was. Just for her banging I’m going to scream louder than I ever have but to be completely honest, that’s not just to piss her off, but because that’s how amazing I feel.
Kane wastes no time grabbing my hips, pulling me further off the bed and slamming home. We both groan at the contact and this time I don’t let my mood, or my fears and insecurities ruin the moment. I hold his eyes, sit up and hold his body, and rock with him. He lifts me, turns and sits on the bed, letting me go at my own pace until his need for more has him pulling my hips at a speed and strength I can’t manage alone.
Gritting his teeth, he buries his face in my neck and his grunts get louder. I love the noises he makes, it used to always be about how loud and out of control I could make him. Nothing has changed. Every noise he makes sets off flutters in my stomach and makes my skin prickle with warmth.
He rolls us, pulling out of my body so he can lay me on the mattress and power into me like I know he wants. I feel him swelling despite his control over his body. It feels amazing. I clench down, holding him tight. My hips roll up when he stops, trying again to grasp what little control he has left.
He looks down at me, warning me with his eyes to behave. Of course I don’t, I never did.
I rock again, locking my ankles under his ass so he can’t pull away and the look on his face as he loses to the pleasure I know my body is granting him is so intense and so fucking sexy I’ll never be able to forget it.
I ride the wave with him, feeling it, feeling another climax roll through me. Different to the last but no less powerful.
He drops, his body trembling as I trail my fingers up and down his spine. Lips touch my breast and he rolls us onto our sides, waits for me to get comfortable and then holds me in strong arms.
“This is all gonna work out,” he whispers against my hair.
I smile because I think I actually believe him.
Faceless – Texas
One week later
For legal reasons I had to return to my hometown to listen to the reading of my mee-maw’s will. Apparently, I’m on it, so is my mother and brother who also must return. I really don’t want to. Not because I don’t want to be here, but because I hate my brother and I hate my mother. Also, because I don’t want to be here.
“Yeah, we’re just rolling in now.” Kane is on the phone to his daddy, relaxing during the final stretch of a very long journey that I’m so glad we took together.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being in the car for over seventeen hours with Kane Jessop, it’s that he makes me laugh at all the right moments, keeps me occupied at all the right moments, and our silences are comfortable and never awkward.
We stopped after the first eight and stayed in a motel on the roadside, had amazing sex, burgers from a local dive and then this morning we had a killer breakfast and for the most part I’m feeling happy even knowing I’m about to walk into this mess of a situation.
“So that’s why he wasn’t there?” Kane asks his daddy and grips my thigh. “Well I’ll be sure to pass on that message but I know she ain’t gonna be happy to receive it.” He says his goodbyes and puts a cigar between his lips, he doesn’t smoke around me if at all, but he likes to have something to help him curb the habit.
“What?” I ask, worried now.
“According to my daddy, Matthew wasn’t at your mee-maw’s funeral because he didn’t think you’d show and he had nothing nice to say to the bitch, dead or alive. Not because he was in prison or anythin’ like that.”
My hands clench on the steering wheel as we drive down the dusty road that is far too familiar. “Don’t care. He’s got nothing to say to me that I want or need to hear.”
“I agree.”
“Feel free to knock him around a little when he tries.”
Kane chuckles and tries to stretch out his long legs. “Duly noted.”
I think of what my brother might want to say to me but anything my mind conjures just has me flying into a blind range. Mentally of course. I’m not taking my eyes off the road, especially not in a place where kids play and animals wander.
“If he tries to apologize…” I seethe and Kane squeezes my thigh that little bit harder.
He doesn’t say anything because what’s to say? My brother fucking betrayed me. But then he didn’t betray his drugs. He snapped out of his funk to start getting high again but not to save his pregnant sister.
Webber empathizes with him on the rare occasion he gets brought into conversation. He says a lot of the other kids who went through the brainwashing are still suffering today after years of therapy.
Another reason I had to go into the witness protection program for a few years was to protect me from his minions who would have loved to have gutted me for betraying him. To betray Father Righteous was to betray God. A lot of them have seen sense since, I just hope none of them ever try to contact me.
Hopefully by now that type of threat has blown over.
We head straight to a diner by Ice-Queen where I used to work. Kane used to love nailing me with puns when I worked there. Any way he could insert an insult about my apparent frostiness he would and Ren would howl with laughter every single time.
I’m nervous, even though I saw his parents a few weeks ago and I’ve been texting Felicia, I’m super not okay with this. We both decided not to tell them ab
out our kid until we knew more. Kane is finally starting to understand why I kept it from him. The truth of the matter hurts too much. It’s too draining on the soul.
Kane is already frustrated that he hasn’t made any progress with the case. I think he was secretly hoping he’d spot something we didn’t and crack the case wide open. I know this because I’ve been secretly hoping that for years. Every time I opened those files I told myself that today would be the day I finally figured this out. It was never to be.
Kane stretches tall, showing me a hint of his abdomen which is tight with muscles and decorated with incredible tattoos. The one I did of his challenger is further up and still quite sore but otherwise it is healing just fine.
This heat is not helping. I’m sweating bullets and so is he. It was nicer in my Jag with the air-con blasting out a frosty breeze.
“You’re here!” Poppy screams, racing from the diner with her arms wide open.
I catch her before we both hit the gravelly deck and apart from a slight maturing of her face, she looks exactly the same. She still smells the same too.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” she whispers and I share that very sentiment.
And just like that, when West, Felicia, Ren, and Poppy’s mother Patrice all greet us too, it’s like no time has gone by at all.
Soon the diner is full of old schoolfriends desperate to catch a glimpse of me. I don’t remember ever being this popular back in the day though being with Kane sure brought me some infamy in school.
I just can’t believe all these people are here.
“Why did you do this?” I ask Kane, feeling overwhelmed and emotional.
“Just reminding you that you haven’t been forgotten,” he whispers in my ear and kisses my temple. “Lot of bad memories in Faceless. But there are some fucking good ones too. This room is full of them.”
He’s right and slowly I allow myself to open up to receive the joy they’re putting out. I guess I just let how shit life was at times overshadow how amazing it was too.
We push tables together and drink shakes, coffee, soda, whatever we want. We all catch up and I find myself getting emotional hearing about everybody’s lives. Selma has a kid! A little girl who is five. She wants me to meet her but I typically tend to stay away from children, they’re a trigger for me. A lot of things are a trigger for me.
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