by Nara Noelle
“N-No,” I stuttered.
“Goddammit, Hamin. I’m sick of your lies. Can’t you give me an honest answer for once? Or are you such a serial fraudster that you’re incapable of telling the truth?” He laughed dryly.
My entire body quivered while I shook my head.
He went on. “Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of becoming an idol? Ever since I was two years old, I would stand in front of the television and sing along whenever a pop song came on. For fifteen years, my parents filmed videos of me singing because they knew I’d make it big one day. I have what it takes to be a star, goddammit! And do you know how many years I’ve been taking voice lessons for? Twelve years. Dance lessons? Eleven years. Yet I came in at sixteenth place, while you, of all people, got third place. How do you think that makes me feel?”
I had no words to tell him. Of course, in my head, I was thinking of how entitled he was. He couldn’t have been more insufferable if he tried. Plus, I’ve got to admit, I liked being reminded of how I’d received way more votes than him. Even if he was going to reveal how I was, in fact, a girl, I reveled in knowing that, at one point, I’d been more popular as a boy band trainee than forty-seven of the jackasses I competed with.
“I’m going to sign with Pluto Entertainment no matter what. That means I have to make it past the next round of votes. Guess what? It’s a hell of a lot easier to get into the top fifteen when one of your rivals is automatically disqualified,” Juno added.
When our eyes met, I realized there was no room to negotiate. Everything I’d tried—swallowing my pride and letting him treat me like shit—had been done in vain.
“You know what? I’m going to be straight with you,” I declared, standing up again.
“Alright,” he muttered. While he had a look of boredom on his face, I gathered this was merely his best shot at trying to seem nonchalant. He was fidgeting like a child on a sugar high for God’s sake.
“Instead of getting mad at me for my popularity, maybe you should consider whether you’re truly cut out for stardom. You might think I’m ugly and talentless, but the viewers still enjoyed my performance a hell of a lot more than yours,” I said as smugly as I could muster.
“Shut up!” he yelled, his face pink with anger.
I continued. “I guess even the best private lessons couldn’t teach you how to be charming. So go ahead and tell the world I’ve been lying about my gender for all I care. At the end of the day, it’s not going to make any real difference in your life. Putting me down isn’t going to raise you up from the pit of mediocrity.”
When Juno raised his fist, my initial thought was that he was prepared to swing it at me and knock me out. Too bad I was no longer going to let him spit on my face and tread on my toes. Frankly, it made no difference whether I got kicked off the island for my false identity or a fight I’d gotten into as a result.
Once he saw the rage in my eyes, he put his hand down. “Too bad you have no idea what you’re talking about. Sharing your secret is going to do wonders for my future. Just you wait and see. I mean, why do you think I was going through your beat-up travel bag when I’d already spotted your bra and stained bedsheets? You’re not the only person with ulterior motives here.”
Moments later, he dove toward my bed to grab my sports bra.
“What are you doing with my underwear, you pervert?” I shouted, taking it myself and shoving it down my pants.
Juno and I spent the rest of the day in complete silence. I stayed in bed and read two books I’d borrowed from the library, while he sat hunched at his desk with his pen and notebook. I knew he was only pretending to be busy—he’d glance in my direction every ten minutes or so.
Neither of us were willing to leave the room, since we didn’t trust what the other person might do when left alone in here. Although I was ravenous, I skipped dinner and devoured a bag of chips I’d left on my desk. When Juno ate from his stash of snacks, he made the loudest, grossest slobbering noise. I suspected he wanted to make me lose my cool again, but I refused to fall into his trap.
Our passive-aggressive behavior went on until late into the night. At one point, he got up and switched the bedroom light off without warning, so I promptly put my books away and snuggled into bed. Though I’d meant to fake-sleep until I could hear his snores, the weight of my blanket over my shoulders was obscenely comfortable. In my defense, I’d spent the previous night on the sofa of a log cabin after running around the mountain in the rain.
I’m sure I would’ve slept for hours had it not been for a piercing scream. As soon as the sound hit my ear, I sprang up from my bed. I kid you not, it was even louder than the siren for what turned out to be a fake tsunami drill. Within seconds, the scream turned into a deranged gurgle. I’d never heard anything like it before.
In the darkness, I saw two people standing around Juno’s bed. Amidst my half-asleep daze, I thought they were both him. However, upon rubbing my eyes, I realized these men—who seemed to be clad in long cloaks—were way taller than my roommate.
Oh God, the gurgling noise was coming from Juno.
When I gasped and fell back into bed, one of the intruders turned around and came toward me with a knife in his hand. His wild eyes were peeking out of his masked face. It made me nauseous with fear.
“Help!” I yelped at the top of my lungs while bile rose in my throat. “Somebody, help!”
As I swallowed the hard-to-dispel bitter taste, I wrapped my arms tightly around my body, believing I was next. But instead, the intruder began laughing at me with his gloved hand on his mouth. After an echo of footsteps came from the hallway, the two men hurried toward my bedroom window, which was wide open.
My gaze shifted back to Juno’s bed. He was lying there with his neck convulsing and his mouth agape. When I realized he was drenched in blood, I was unable to stop myself from throwing up.
Chapter 27
Honey
I woke up in the infirmary. For a couple of seconds, I scanned the empty room, wondering why I was here. The clock on the wall read 3:12. When I proceeded to look down at my body, I released a sigh of relief upon discovering nobody had changed me out of my clothes. Then I remembered what happened previously.
While I didn’t feel a single ounce of affection toward Juno, it had been horrifying to wake up to him screaming in pain while gushing blood. Though I’d gone through enough shit to know that I was surrounded by a bunch of ruthless narcissists, the attack against my roommate had shaken me up on a whole new level.
I could’ve suffered the same fate. One of the intruders had even walked up to me while holding a knife. Yet when I sat up in my narrow bed in the infirmary, tucked my knees into my chest, and brushed my hand all over my face and body, there wasn’t a single wound to be found. Other than a mild headache, I felt no pain.
A nurse came into the room and smiled at me. “Good. You’re finally awake.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“How are you feeling today?” he asked.
“I-I’m fine.” I leaned forward and rested my forehead against my knees. “My head hurts a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Would you like some painkillers?” he offered.
“No, thank you. I can handle this,” I replied.
“Alright, Hamin. You’re free to go now. If you experience any pain, make sure to come back here and talk to me.”
“Okay.”
“Do you have any questions?”
I peered at him and cleared my throat. “Sorry, but why am I here? Did something happen to me?”
“Well, I was told that you threw up and fainted yesterday.”
“I see. And do you, um, happen to know where my roommate Juno is?”
“Oh, Juno?” The nurse shook his head. “The poor boy’s all over the tabloids right now.”
“What?” I shrieked in horror. Had he bled to death all because I passed out and wasn’t able to get him help?
“Juno was sent back to Duvil on a private jet
earlier today. He’s been hospitalized there. It’s truly heartbreaking what happened to him.” The nurse went over to a cabinet where he grabbed a remote control. “You should watch this.”
While he turned on the television and changed the channel, my headache intensified. I hated to consider the situation from this perspective, but the thing was, Juno had left Starsaw Island before he had the chance to tell anyone I was only pretending to be a boy. Yet even though my secret was safe, and I would no longer have to put up with him, I felt awful.
First of all, I had to be on the short list of suspects. It was only a matter of time before I was interrogated for scheming with the intruders. However, that wasn’t the only reason behind my distress. Regardless of how cruel Juno had been toward me yesterday, to take pleasure in his misfortune would mean I was siding with the perpetrators. As I recalled how one of them had laughed at me while I panicked, I told myself I never wanted to be like them.
When a news report on the incident appeared on the television screen, the nurse sighed.
“Juno Jung, a contestant on the hit television series Idol High School was found injured in a pigsty early this morning. He was promptly flown to Duvil on a private jet and has since been hospitalized,” the reporter announced from the front of a hospital building.
“Juno… what?” I mumbled.
“He snuck into a pigsty. At this point, nobody seems to know whether he was sleepwalking or simply curious or what,” the nurse explained.
“A pigsty?” I muttered. I didn’t have the heart to point out how wrong this was.
“He was attacked by pigs,” the nurse added.
The reporter continued. “According to an official statement made by Mr. Oakland, the main production director for the show, filming will resume as usual. He went on to emphasize how the mental health of the contestants is of utmost priority. Counseling services will be available to everyone on Starsaw Island from the start of next week.”
It was no easy feat to be the bad guy—the ultimate brute—in the world of teenage assholes. Yet apparently, two people on the island had managed to pull it off.
After what I’d gone through during the last couple of days, all I wanted to do was stay in bed and pretend I’d disappeared off the face of the earth. However, at this point, it wasn’t as if my room felt any cozier than the rest of the island. Although it felt like sheer torture to get ready for singing class the next morning, I knew I had nowhere else to go.
During my walk to the Song Center, my heart raced at the thought of seeing Arang again. I wasn’t sure whether to be excited or terrified. There was only one way to find out.
Since only twenty-four contestants remained, we were split into two classes now—one for the alpha students and the other for everyone else. As Arang usually groaned and shook his head whenever I sang, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d be humiliated in front of my new classmates.
To my surprise, he left me alone. However, I wasn’t sure if this was a good sign, seeing as he didn’t even look in my direction.
At the end of the lesson, he called out, “Hamin, could I talk to you for a moment?”
I froze the instant I heard those words. By then, I’d assumed he was going to keep his distance from me for the time being. While I couldn’t help myself from dwelling on this, and it hurt to think about, I knew I’d asked for it by hooking up with him in spite of our circumstances.
“Come with me,” Arang hissed into my ear. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me away.
Once he took me to a tiny storage room at the end of the hallway, he slammed the door and emitted a rough groan—one that sent chills down my spine.
“About what happened in the cabin,” he began, then paused.
“W-We don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready,” I blurted out. The truth was, I was afraid of coming face to face with his emotions.
“And who are you to tell me whether I’m ready or not,” he growled.
“Arang,” I murmured, putting my hand on his shoulder.
He glared at my hand as if it were covered in shit and shoved it aside. “Who do you think you are? Don’t touch me.”
“Who do I think I am?” I said in disbelief. “Arang, what the hell is your problem? Do you have the memory of a goldfish or something? In that case, let me help you refresh your memory. Three days ago, you told me you were nuts about me.”
“Did I really?” He snorted. “My bad. I must’ve been out of my mind. I was drunk, you see.”
“That’s not what I remember. You were slightly tipsy, at most,” I argued.
“Shut up!”
“You’re only telling me to shut up because you know I’m right.”
He yanked on the neck of my hoodie. “I told you to shut up, goddammit. Hamin, I don’t exactly know what your roommate went through or who’s responsible for it, but you’ll be the next to leave the island if you don’t keep your mouth shut. And by that, I mean you better not talk back to me or tell anyone what happened in the cabin.”
“Is that why you brought me here? To threaten me privately?” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and laughed as boldly as I could manage. “I see you’ve been taking lessons from RJ.”
“Lessons on what?” he grunted.
“Intimidating people by hiding behind a macho façade. That’s funny. Don’t assholes usually do this when they’re compensating for a tiny dick? Yours wasn’t small at all. Not when you got hard for me, at least,” I said.
“Hamin Han,” he snapped, trembling with anger.
“You know what? Thanks for the hot night. At first, I just went along with it because you were making googly eyes at me. But I’ve got to admit, I enjoyed it a lot. Seems like I’ve got a knack of getting men to lose their inhibitions and question their sexuality.”
“Is this your way of asking me to punch you in the face?” he muttered as he let go of my hoodie.
“Yup. Hit me. What’s stopping you? Are you scared you’ll get turned on again?” I said.
“You’re disgusting,” he hissed, opening the door.
“At least I’m not in denial,” I retorted, only then realizing there were tears streaming down my cheeks. This time, I hadn’t been able to run off to the bathroom.
Arang stormed away without bothering to reply. Although he left the door open, I stayed in the storage room. While I’d gone through an awful lot of crap since I’d arrived on Starsaw Island, I realized then that I’d reached a new low. I was heartbroken. Deep down, I knew my pain wouldn’t subside no matter how aggressive I got. By attacking each other, Arang and I had only hurt ourselves.
Chapter 28
Honey
The next few days dragged on. Every hour of class felt like a whole lifetime on its own. By the time the results for the second round of votes were announced, I lacked the motivation to stay on the island, knowing it was bound to lead to more anguish.
Despite having had no airtime on the hiking episode, other than a flash of my face shown before it was briefly mentioned that Arang and I had gotten lost in the mountain during a rainstorm, the Minis didn’t forget about me—at least not entirely. I came in at thirteenth place. It had been a close call, and I wasn’t particularly grateful for the outcome.
My daydreams no longer involved screaming matches with Executive Song or grand discoveries concerning the dark side of Pluto Entertainment. I reminisced over the past incessantly. While my childhood hadn’t been full of rainbows and butterflies, at least once upon a time, I had someone in my life who genuinely cared about me. There was no more love left in the world for me now. Heck, maybe I needed to read up on time travel and get my hands on a time machine. Because that seemed far easier than making it into the top ten during the next round of votes.
During classes, I could hardly pay attention to what was going on. My four oh-so-merciful teachers didn’t even need to point out my mistakes because my fellow classmates were going to town with making fun of me. When the cameras were on, the other students fur
rowed their brows and edged away from me. Then, the minute the cameras turned off, they cursed at me. None of this was new to me though. People reveled in ganging up on an easy target, and at Idol High, I was the one everyone loved to hate.
Then, one morning, when I walked into the dining hall to the smell of French toast, I was egged. I couldn’t tell who’d started it because as soon as the first one hit me in the chest, all of the other students followed suit. When I looked around, I spotted most of the remaining contestants. Nobody else was with us. Aha. They’d found a spare moment without the STAR boys—though I’m sure they would’ve joined in, had they been present—or the television crew.
Once I made it out of there, I was drenched. As I went back to my room, I realized the situation hadn’t occurred out of the blue. Somebody had put in the effort of taking trays of eggs from the kitchen and handing them out to everyone else. Hell, maybe all of the contestants left on the show had planned this out together. Frankly, I pitied them. Was this what they came here for? Were they ashamed of how juvenile their actions were?
Still, having pity on them didn’t mean I was willing to tolerate their bullshit. As I hopped into the shower, I told myself I was going to be taking the day off. If they wanted me to feel so enervated I couldn’t handle another day of classes, they’d succeeded. I didn’t give a damn about proving them otherwise.
I spent the morning standing by the window and observing the gardeners. Yup. The alternative was to wallow in my misery, but I knew that would turn me into a wreck for the rest of the week. While I presumed I could get away with skipping one day of class, I didn’t want to create even more unwanted attention by becoming the student who didn’t show up for several days in a row.
Anyway, I could only watch the gardeners prune shrubs for so long. By noon, I was dying to get some fresh air. Since all the other students were over at the Song Center, I decided to make the most of their absence by going to the beach.