Crazy Cupid Love

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Crazy Cupid Love Page 15

by Amanda Heger


  Eliza jumped out of the car. Eddie hadn’t bothered to wait for her (surprise, surprise), and he was already halfway up the sidewalk to Yolanda’s cottage. “Shit.”

  “I’ve got him,” Jake said. “You go deal with Oliver.”

  Eliza breathed a little easier. What would she do without Jake? She jogged the few steps to the black van that had pulled up behind them. “Agent Oliver, would you mind backing up a little? Our client is very concerned with her privacy, and your vehicle, well…” She pointed to the giant A.S.S. written across the side.

  He adjusted his necktie. “Certainly. Why don’t you get in and tell me where to park? You can tell me a little more about your plans for this enchantment.”

  She looked toward Jake’s car, where he seemed to have Eddie under control. “Sure.”

  By the time they’d parked the van two blocks over and walked to Yolanda’s street, Eliza had explained the request for secrecy and the grocery ruse.

  “I spoke to my mentor about the request and consulted the regulations,” she said. “I didn’t see anything that forbids me from taking the case.” She waited, listening to his mouth breathing, and braced herself for some sort of punishment.

  “Interesting,” he said as they caught up to Jake and Eddie.

  That was all. No lectures or admonishments. Maybe this would be okay after all.

  “Are you ready?” she asked when they reached Eddie and Jake.

  Eddie looked like he might pee his pants. “Born ready.”

  “Mr. Sanders and I will wait here,” Oliver said. “We should be close enough to see what’s happening but far enough that we won’t cause an intrusion.”

  Eddie, gods bless him, took off again with the grocery bags jiggling in his hands. A twenty-yard dash later, Eliza caught up with him and grabbed her weapon from his bag.

  “Wait until I give you the signal. Then come up the steps,” she whispered. Eliza tiptoed up the stairs of the blue cottage, hoping she looked like any random person walking up to a friend’s house. Except, of course, she was armed with a loaf of frozen garlic bread and intent to commit a minor assault.

  She crouched behind a large potted plant on the porch. It put her far enough from the doorframe that she wouldn’t be seen when Yolanda answered but close enough that she could reach over and give her leg—or foot, or thigh, or toe, whichever was handy—a quick tap with the bread.

  Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Eddie approached the front door with all the grace of a rhino. He balanced two paper grocery bags perilously between his arms, and his flushed face poked out between them. “Now?” he asked.

  She hadn’t given him the signal, but whatever. Eliza nodded.

  “What if she’s not home?”

  “Look straight ahead,” she whispered.

  His face disappeared back between the bags, and Eliza could only hope he was looking at the door. “Okay, but what if she’s not home? Maybe we should try another day.”

  “Eddie, she’s expecting her groceries. Get your shit together and ring the doorbell.”

  He stretched his index finger out and moved in shaky slow motion—like ET, but if America’s favorite extraterrestrial was super into protein powder and dead lifts. Eliza held her breath and glanced out at the park across the street, where Jake and Oliver were engrossed in conversation.

  So much for Department observation.

  But at the last second, Jake glanced her way, broke into a grin, and gave her a thumbs-up.

  Eliza exhaled. This was going to be fine. No, more than fine. She was going to knock this enchantment out of the park and show Oliver-comma-Trevor exactly what she was made of.

  A clattering of footsteps came from behind the door, and Eliza lifted her bread. A quick tap. Just enough to break a capillary or two, and she’d be one major step closer to her license. There was a pause and then a series of rattles and clicks as Yolanda unlocked what sounded like an intricate series of dead bolts and chains.

  Love tap in three, two—

  Squeeeeee. Ooooooink. Squeeeee.

  Eliza’s brain screamed for her to stop, but her arm didn’t get the message in time. It swung, knocking the hoof of a pink, hairy pig. It reared up to stare her straight in the eye, and for one fateful second, Eliza thought she was about to pay dearly for that bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich she’d eaten for breakfast. Then its warm, damp snout swiped across her face, and it squealed and snorted while its whiskers tickled her chin. A fleck of gold flickered in Eliza’s periphery, and suddenly a familiar voice rang out.

  “Charleston Samuel Durst the Third, what has gotten into you? Come here.”

  Between flashes of pink pig flesh, Eliza glimpsed a pair of sleek heels in the doorway. The gold was nothing, just a reflection off a window. Hit her. Now or never. She raised the bread, swung, and knocked Yolanda in the calf.

  Red and yellow shimmers of Love Luster filled the air, invisible to both Eddie and Yolanda. But as if he could sense it, Eddie—for once on top of his game—pretended to fumble and dropped one of the bags of groceries. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said, squatting down to pick them up. “It’s my first day.”

  Eliza took the opportunity to knock him on the back of the leg, then slithered back behind the plant. His Love Luster flashed green and black and brought with it the pungent scent of Axe body spray. Eliza fought back a gag. Moment of truth. Was this quirky redhead with a serious case of paranoia compatible with Eddie Pearson?

  “Your first day?” Yolanda asked. “I would have never guessed. You seem so at ease with all those groceries.”

  Eddie picked up the fallen groceries and stood a little taller. His voice dropped low. “It is easy when your deliveries are to such lovely houses…and such lovely ladies.”

  Yolanda giggled. Really and truly giggled. From behind the planter, Eliza swallowed another gag. Listening to other people flirting never got less awkward.

  “It’s so warm out here.” Yolanda fanned herself, inadvertently spewing her pheromones toward Eddie, who looked like he’d just won the lottery, taken a bite of the world’s best pie, and seen an adorable puppy. “Please come in and let me make you some lemonade,” Yolanda added.

  Eddie’s face softened, and Eliza got a glimpse of who he might be under that thick layer of bravado and self-tanner: a nervous guy looking for love. He nodded, head bobbing between the bags. “That sounds great.”

  Yolanda broke into a smile. “Right this way.”

  And Eliza, completely unnoticed (except for the stare she was getting from Charleston the pig), snuck off the porch and back toward the car. She’d done it. By herself. With only one tiny mishap that hadn’t hurt anyone. Okay, so maybe if she didn’t know better, Eliza would have thought the look the pig gave her as she backed away from the scene of the crime was a little lovelorn. But she did know better than that. Cupids couldn’t affect nonhuman animals.

  Right?

  “Ms. Herman, that was quite a display,” Agent Oliver said. He had out his little notepad again. “I have to say, I wasn’t expecting you to pull that off. What was your weapon of choice? A baton?”

  “Garlic cheese bread. Frozen so it would be hard enough to cause a small amount of damage. If you recall, Mr. Pearson requested no blood.”

  “Interesting indeed.” He scrawled some more in his notebook, while Eliza tried to come down from her high. “I may have some more questions for you in the coming days, Ms. Herman, but for now, let’s go ahead and schedule your final exam for late next week. Say Thursday?”

  Her heart clenched into a nervous ball of energy. Next Thursday: the same day Jake’s enchantment would wear off. In less than two weeks, she’d be either a fully licensed Cupid or an unlicensed failure. Either way, she wouldn’t be distracted by Jake’s attention anymore—and he wouldn’t be distracted by her. “Sure. Sounds great.”

  “See you then.” Agent Oliver tucked his notebook
into his back pocket and set off for his van.

  As soon as he was out of earshot, she turned to face Jake. “I did it!”

  The look of pride on his face set off fireworks in Eliza’s brain. She’d taken on a legitimately tough case. It required skill and cunning and confidence. And she’d managed it without incident—by herself. Maybe this Cupid gig wasn’t so bad after all.

  “You did great,” Jake said. “Better than great. You were amazing.”

  He thinks I was amazing. She flung her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. “I did it,” she repeated. “I can’t believe I did it.”

  Jake’s spine went ramrod straight, and his abs tensed. Under normal circumstances, Eliza wouldn’t have minded the feel of that six-pack pressed to her torso. Sadly, these were anything but normal circumstances.

  “Sorry.” She pulled back, feeling a warm blush climb to the tips of her ears. “I’m just excited.”

  Jake glanced down at her, and the smallest hint of a struggle appeared in his eyes. Then it was gone, and he pulled her back in for a full, warm-bodied hug. He rested his chin on her head. “I’m proud of you.”

  He thinks I was amazing and he’s proud of me. Eliza closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the feel of those abs and that crisp, outdoorsy scent filling her nostrils.

  “I really thought that pig was going to get the better of you,” Jake said.

  Eliza looked up at him and narrowed her eyes in mock indignation. “I could have taken him.”

  “Sure.”

  “Charleston Samuel Durst the Third is no match for me.”

  Jake laughed. “None of us are.”

  She melted, fully and completely, until she was nothing but a ball of fluttery feelings pressed against him. He was just so enticing right now, with his flirty smile and warm embrace. So enchanting. So…Jake.

  “I disagree,” she said. The rest of her words fell out, breathless and full of expectation. “You are a match for me.”

  He didn’t respond, and her brain warred over what to say next. In the battle of This is a bad idea fueled by an accidental enchantment versus Kiss me right now, damn it, she wasn’t sure which side was going to take home the win. “Jake?”

  His gold-flecked eyes locked on hers, and the wanting there was unmistakable. Finally, one of his thick, black eyebrows cocked slightly. As if asking her Is this okay?

  It was not okay. It was way better than okay. If she wanted to, she could lift a hand and run it along his jawline. She could feel the prickle of his dark stubble against her fingertips. If she wanted to, she could lean in a little more and press herself against the length of him.

  And, gods damn it, she really wanted to do all those things.

  “You’re making me crazy,” he said.

  She tilted her chin a fraction of an inch. “Good crazy or bad crazy?”

  “The best kind of crazy.” He flattened a palm against her back and pulled her closer. The feeling of his chest pressed to hers was even better than she’d remembered. And she’d been “remembering” it a lot over the past few days.

  “What are we doing?” she whispered.

  “Just some standard mentorship stuff.” His thumb brushed her cheek. “And maybe some kissing, if that’s okay. I really want it to be okay, and not just because you dropped a candy jar on my foot.”

  That’s the enchantment talking. That’s the enchantment talking. That’s the—

  “Eliza?”

  His lips were inches from hers. Lips that made her stomach flip-flop each time he said her name. Lips that were 100 percent off-limits but still invaded her dreams. “Yeah?” she whispered.

  “Is that okay?”

  She opened her mouth to say no. Obviously, they shouldn’t be doing this. There was too much on the line: her license, her family’s business, decades of friendship. But all of that faded away in the warmth of his arms. The gravel crunched beneath her feet as she rose up and caught his mouth with hers. Soft, tentative, questioning.

  “Eliza.” He dipped his head and caught her mouth again. With a soft moan, his lips and tongue explored hers gently, stroking her emotions and body into a desperate fire. The kiss was exactly what she’d imagined it would be, but also better. So much better. Possibly because, until this very moment, she hadn’t been able to conceive of a kiss that felt like this. Like melting and being reformed. Like being set aflame and covered in gooseflesh. Like completely and totally losing herself in someone else.

  It was the kiss she’d been longing for since he’d showed up at her house on her birthday. The kiss she’d fantasized about as a gangly teenager. Maybe even the kiss she’d been waiting for her entire life.

  She pulled him in closer, her body pleading for more. More kissing, more touching, more Jake. And when she got it, Eliza’s breathing grew ragged, and a perfect ache bloomed low in her stomach.

  “Still okay?” he whispered.

  “Better than okay.”

  Jake’s eyes flared with heat. His hands sank into her hair, roamed her back, and then grasped her thighs. He was everywhere, and yet she was still greedy with want.

  By the time he wrapped her legs around his waist and pinned her on the hood of his car, she’d completely lost herself. Where she was. Who she was. What she’d been doing five minutes ago. But she was kissing Jake Sanders, and nothing else mattered.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she whispered.

  With a tortured groan, Jake pulled away. A flash of black caught Eliza’s eye.

  No. Please, gods, no. She blinked twice, hoping against hope that this was some lust-fueled hallucination. But nothing changed.

  “Jake, do you see that?” She pointed to the end of the block. There, idling in his A.S.S. van, sat Agent Oliver. “Do you think he saw us?” But she already knew the answer. There was no way he’d missed that very public display of affection.

  “Fuck,” Jake muttered.

  She tugged the edge of her shirt with tight fists. Think, Eliza. Think. When Agent Oliver stepped out of that van and marched over to where they stood, what was she going to say? It had to be something good. Better than good. Otherwise, everything she’d worked for was about to blow up right here in front of Yolanda’s house. She’d have to explain her failures to her family. Deal with her mother’s disapproval. Her father’s disappointment. Her brother’s shattered dreams. She’d have to sit by and watch as years of their hard work and dedication slipped down the drain, taking Herman & Herman with it.

  All because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

  “Jake, I—”

  But before she could finish, Oliver raised his tiny notepad in a wave and sped off into the sunset.

  Chapter 13

  Cupid Rules of Professional Conduct § 1.8. (j) Romantic, sexual, and financial relationships between a Cupid and an individual under enchantment are expressly prohibited for the duration of the enchantment unless such relationship existed consensually between the parties prior to the enchantment.

  Eliza stared into the bathroom mirror. She knew she’d never be supermodel material. Or even not-so-super-model material. But the way Jake had looked at her yesterday right before that kiss—all fire and mischief, like he was planning exactly what he wanted to do to her body—had made her feel like she could give any one of Victoria’s secrets a run for their money.

  As long as no actual running was involved, of course. Or high heels. Or those fake wings the models wore. Talk about a recipe for humiliation.

  Then again, maybe not. The last couple of weeks had shown her that she wasn’t that lanky teenager who caused calamity wherever she went. With practice, increased confidence, and improved hand-eye coordination, she’d managed to avert most disasters. Thanks in no small part to Jake.

  Jake.

  Ugh. After that impromptu make-out session the day before, they’d ridden ho
me in tense silence. When he’d finally pulled in to her apartment complex, Jake had turned to look directly at her. “We need to talk—”

  “Maybe I should call him. Get in front of the story, you know. We could—” She waved her hands about, banging her knuckles into the passenger-side window. “Ow!”

  “You okay?”

  She nodded, but the car’s oxygen felt too thin for her lungs.

  “We don’t know what he saw. Let’s just wait, okay? If he saw what happened back there”—Jake ran a hand over the top of his head, a move Eliza now recognized as his own nervous tic—“I’m sure one of us will hear about it. Soon.”

  She nodded. That made sense, even if she was certain Oliver had seen their game of tongue twister. No need to race toward trouble. “When he calls me, I’m going to tell him what happened at the Johansens. It’s not your fault, and you—”

  “No.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You can’t tell him about the enchantment.”

  “It was my fault. You shouldn’t be punished for my stupidity. If I hadn’t hit you with that candy dish, we might never have kissed at all.”

  Jake pressed his thumbs into his brow and closed his eyes. “Eliza?”

  At the sound of her name on his lips, Eliza’s traitorous heart began thumping out a hyperbeat. “Yeah?”

  “If you hadn’t hit me with that candy dish, I’d still be thinking about kissing you. All the damn time.”

  “Jake—”

  “Would you just listen to me? Please?”

  She pressed her lips together so hard they began to ache.

  “I thought about kissing you when we were kids. I thought about kissing you that night I brought a delivery to your house. And I’ve thought about kissing you every day since. This isn’t some enchantment, Eliza. This is real.”

  Every cell in her body wanted to believe him, but this too-good-to-be-true type of thing was exactly what someone deep in the throes of enchantment would say. “Let’s see how you feel next Friday, okay?”

  He reached for her hand. “Eliza—”

  She pulled away and opened the car door. If he touched her again, she’d lose all her willpower. Then they’d both be up the Acheron without a paddle. “I should go.”

 

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