by L J Andrews
“Tao!” a booming, terrifying voice broke through our terrible conversation. I drew in a long, shuddering breath and met Leoch’s eyes. The warrior’s blond hair was wild around his shoulders, and he clutched tightly to a spear as though preparing to use it. “You will step back from the queen.”
Tao hissed through his teeth, but I was sure it was meant only for me. “Our queen calls everyone as equals. I am permitted to speak freely, am I not?”
Leoch glanced to me, but I was still frozen in the bitterness from the warrior. Leoch cleared his throat and took protective steps between Tao and me. “That is for the queen to say. From where I stood, you were not speaking freely on anything that would add to our current situation. From where I stood, I had every desire to carve out your tongue, brother.”
Leoch’s words sparked me back to life. I glared at Tao, dropped the medical supplies and curled around Leoch’s protective stance. “You spoke out of turn, warrior,” I growled. “Though you may not agree with my decisions, you have neither offered any better options, nor declared loyalty to the royal bloodlines. In my eyes, that brings my trust in you to a flatline. You accuse me of not being strong like King Lux—well, I assure you, the disrespectful dialogue you spewed from your lips would never be accepted in my grandfather’s court. That I know. And neither is it accepted in mine.
“Leoch,” I breathed as adrenaline raged through my veins. “Is such an encounter commonly brought to the lead warrior?”
Tao glared at his closest friend, but Leoch didn’t falter as he nodded. “Yes, my queen. Such disrespect is something Thane would care to know. Immediately.”
My jaw clenched, and I met Tao’s eyes. “You see, Tao. I am not afraid to ask for guidance and it does not make me a weak queen. But never forget that—never forget, I am queen.”
Tao released a steamy breath through his nose. “Yes, Highness. And now you will play on the sympathies of Thane against me. It is biased and unjust.”
“Sympathies of what? Is Thane not fair?” I snapped.
“He is—was, until our queen was revealed to wear the seal of his son. I fear our valiant laws have been corrupted when such power runs through one family line. We now have the dragon mage and the jade bloodline joined and no room for any others. There will be no room for any sort of democracy.”
Leoch gripped Tao’s arm and tried to pull him away, but I waved him off. My nose nearly touched Tao’s—yes, I had to rise onto my toes, but it didn’t lessen the fire in my eyes. “Then you, Tao, do not understand my heart in the least.”
Leoch dragged Tao out of my space, glancing over his shoulder he nodded. “I shall see to Thane.”
See to Thane was exactly what Leoch did. I didn’t think I’d ever seen the calm-hearted, kind lead warrior look so very—deadly.
Eisha clutched my hand as we sat with the other royal lines at the head of the battle den. The flames in the sconces were manipulated and blazed higher than physically possible, but it added to the emotion in the room. Teagan stood on one end of the line of royals, with Gaia at the opposite end. In the high shadows, where the firelight didn’t reach, I sensed Ced peering over the ledge—watching away from everyone else.
Warriors and mages stood, some perched on ledges beneath where Ced and the lindworms were, while Thane paced with angst in each step and glowered at Tao. The warrior was kneeling on the hard stones, his face lowered. Eisha had explained he was not allowed to meet any royal eye during his formal discipline.
“I’ve lived for over three centuries,” Thane growled, his eyes a mad blue, and it seemed Teagan’s father was on the brink of shifting forms if any more anger spilled out of his body. “And never…never did I think I would stand here delivering out punishment to a trusted, valued warrior. Tao, do you understand why you have been brought before all your people?”
“Yes, commander,” Tao muttered.
“More so than never dealing out formal discipline,” Thane snipped, lowering in front of Tao, his voice sending a shudder through all who watched. I wondered if the others could hear, for although I sat mere feet away, Thane’s tone was so dangerous I could hardly make out what was said. “I have never seen such disregard for a royal bloodline since the dark High Priest slaughtered our people. In this moment, Tao, I’m ashamed to say you remind me of his dark soul. You understand how it breaks my heart to compare you to the one being I would risk everything to wipe from this earth.”
“I would never wish to disappoint you in such a way, commander,” Tao responded. “My words were out of line and spoken in anger.”
I didn’t believe him, and the way Teagan ruffled down the line I knew he didn’t either.
“I would hope so,” Thane muttered next to Tao’s face. “Even still…” Thane rose to his feet speaking loudly to the entire room. “Based on what was witnessed and reported by our queen and fellow warrior, I exact discipline upon this warrior. You are no longer a unit lead.” Thane paused, giving Tao time to react. The warrior remained silent and steady. “You will surrender your sword, Tao.”
There was a gasp throughout the room. I didn’t understand entirely why this was worse than a demotion, but it was enough for Tao to lift his face finally. “No, commander. Please.”
“Do not beg,” Thane snarled with such disgust I’d never seen in his expression. “Surrender your sword. I refuse to place my life, my warriors’ lives, and that of our people in your hands.”
“What does this mean?” I whispered to Eisha who paled and seemed ill.
“It is a dishonorable discharge from his rank,” Eisha gasped. “It has been dealt only once in history—for disloyalty to the throne nearly six hundred years ago when your grandfather first ascended. There was a singular warrior who refused to declare allegiance.”
“Do you find it fitting?”
Eisha squeezed my hand tighter. “It is harsh, undoubtedly, but if what you and Leoch say is accurate—then Tao is disloyal to your crown. Jade, you mustn’t…no, he brings this on himself…”
Ignoring Eisha, I shot up from my seat when the suffocating air in the room threatened to squeeze the life out of everyone watching. “Thane,” I said breathlessly. Thane’s eyes found mine, and the other royals eyed me curiously. “May I propose a compromise?”
Thane’s brow furrowed, and I wished Tao would stop glaring at me. My knees threatened to give out, but I kept my focus strong.
“What compromise would you have?” Thane asked, his voice immediately softer.
“Probationary period. Tao surrenders his sword, until you… and all five royals deem it can be returned. That is, if everyone is in agreement. I wouldn’t want to seem undemocratic.” I dragged my eyes and my final word with purpose to Tao’s dark gaze. He glared at me, but hung his head when Thane stepped toward him again.
“It seems you have a protector,” he snapped. “She is more gracious than I would be. What do you say?” Thane looked to the other royal bloodlines.
Sapphire scanned the others, each nodding. After a tense pause, Sapphire smirked. “We agree. But I would add, my loyalty lies with the queen. We will be watching this warrior closely.”
Thane nodded. “Then it is done. Tao, after such a time as your royal lines and myself deem you worthy of your weapon, it shall be returned and yourp status restored. Now, surrender your weapon.”
Tao reluctantly took out the steel sword. It was beautiful and had streaks of gold in the metals. His jaw clenched tight, and every fiber of muscle in his face could be seen. Tao placed the sword gently in Thane’s hand, and without a glance, Tao turned and stalked out of the den. Though he never looked at me, Tao was certain to leave his energy to assault my heart. In the pit of my soul, I had the darkest feeling our feud was not over.
Chapter 18
The Mage
Every seam of my skin threatened to burst watching Tao’s discipline. When Leoch and Jade had reported his harsh words, I was positive Thane would shred Tao’s face from his skull at first. Disloyalty wasn’t in the realm o
f my father’s understanding—and for that I was grateful. But then, Jade—what was she thinking?
Tossing a small stone from the ledge of the cliff, I breathed in the scent of fresh rain mingled with the spicy sap of the lower forest. The dreary chill of winter was receding, yet tonight my heart felt just as gray as the clouds. As soon as Tao left the den, so did I. She was too good. When my soul screamed for vengeance, hers revealed compassion. Tao wasn’t to be trusted—she knew what I’d heard between him and Leoch. My fists balled, and the spaces between my ribs pitted with my harsh breaths. I loved her—so much—but sometimes that woman…
“Are you looking to be alone, or could you stand for company?”
I jerked a glance over my shoulder, my face riddled in frustration. Waving my hand, I scooted over slightly so Thane could sit next to me.
“Tell me, which one sent you out here to find me?”
Thane chuckled, the sound sending a calming ripple over my shoulders. “Believe it or not, neither Jade nor your mother sent me. This was my idea.”
“I just needed some air. I’m good.”
“Yes, so it would seem.” Thane smirked, staring into the distance. “To others. But remember, you are speaking with me—and your anger is making me want to cut anything I see to pieces.”
I chuckled. “It’s not my fault you can’t keep your empath away from my feelings.”
He smiled and leaned back on his hands. “You’re upset for Jade or for Tao?”
“I stood behind everything you wanted to do. He deserved it. In a way, I felt he deserved worse.”
“No,” Thane said boldly, though it took me by surprise. He’d been so angry at his warrior before. “He didn’t deserve worse. This is the lesson it took me years to learn after the divide. I wanted to tear each scale from every lindworm one by one. The only reason I was lead warrior was because my friend was dead. I couldn’t even stay in contact with the royals. I had little meaning apart from being angry. And Bron…” Thane’s jaw tightened and every muscle in his neck rolled tight. “I saw the pain and self-loathing the divide caused Gaia. Though I might not have known it at the beginning, the thought of anyone harming her—it led me to near madness sometimes.”
“But you still want to slaughter Bron,” I muttered.
Thane nodded. “He will pay, of that I’m certain, but it will be because his crimes fit the punishment. I hope I am the one to make him pay—but if the honor falls to another, so be it. I will not seek him out simply because I hold the deepest resentment. War fought through hatred will fail—but if we honor those who have fallen and seek justice—that is how we move forward.”
“Are you telling me to forgive Tao?”
Thane shook his head easily. “No. Forgiveness from your heart is not mine to suggest. It is your own journey and will be taken at your own pace. I’m saying these things because I’ve fought to seek revenge before, and I don’t want to see you suffer the remorse from such things.”
“What remorse? What did you do in revenge?”
Thane sighed and looked to the ashen sky. “We have only just reunited—I know you understand why we were separated and that we love you, but I find it’s still difficult to admit fault to you.”
“Please,” I said with a smile, mimicking his position and leaning back on my palms. “Admit fault. It will make me feel better. I’m a mess inside and always have been. My mother is the High Priestess—mages worship her—and my father is the greatest warrior of dragons—so, knowing you both aren’t perfect will make me feel a lot better.”
Thane laughed. I liked moments like these. Finding out my parents were alive should have caused confusion—maybe even resentment—but each day I woke grateful we were here. Yes, nearly twenty years had been robbed from us, but it was a drop in the bucket. We had countless years from here. If things had been different, it was quite possible Jade wouldn’t be in my life—at least not for years to come. Since meeting the dragons of Wyvern Willows, I was becoming more certain that fate and destiny played a role in my life more than I knew.
“If you insist,” Thane finally mumbled, but I sensed his apprehension. “I was escorting the mage to hide the onyx stone. Gaia was lost in herself, and I saw how she withered from Bron’s betrayal. I respected her, I cared for her. I saw the same empty expression in the warriors, the mage who were with us. I left that day filled with so much…hate, such as I’d never felt before.” Thane swallowed hard and shifted his position so one leg tucked under his other. “While I waited for the mage to hide the stone, I was overwhelmed with dark energy. I thought Bron had found me at first, but it wasn’t as strong. I searched for the source.
“I found a dark mage nearby. The mage was young, most likely very impressionable to Bron’s smooth tongue. The mage was so inexperienced he didn’t even notice a new energy—an elemental warrior—was near. All he was doing was gathering herbs, and soil and all the things I’d seen the people I lived with do.
“This mage—I knew nothing of his story, why he joined with Bron and abandoned Gaia. All I knew was the blind hatred taking hold of my heart.”
I listened, my chest tight when Thane paused. I had a sense of what might have happened.
“I broke a rule that day. I killed from behind,” Thane continued. “I didn’t make a sound when I changed into my true form. I wanted it to be painful—more than a blade. The last thing I saw before I tore my claws across his face was his surprise. His eyes hadn’t even turned to darkness yet. They were so full of life and…light when I stole it from him. I killed him—in cold blood. I imagined I would feel satisfied, but I was cursed. My heart was so tormented with guilt and remorse, I considered myself unworthy of my position and nearly willed my life away.
“The mage who hid the stone came and surprised me by burying the dark mage, offering prayers to her lost friend. I asked why, until with a level of reluctance, she informed me of that particular mage. I never should have asked. He was young, as in still a young man. His family was killed at the divide. Put in perspective, a child’s mind would see the High Priest as a trusted figure, right? Yet, all I had seen was a traitor. How did I even know if the young mage knew he was on the wrong side? Perhaps his mind was so warped to believe Gaia was in fact the murderer. I didn’t even give him a chance at redemption before I took his life.”
“You shouldn’t feel so guilty,” I offered softly after a long pause. “Even if he wasn’t completely evil, eventually he would have been. And he stood with lindworms—even a young mage would know the lindworms were the ones who attacked. Like you said, the crime fit the punishment.”
“Yes, that is what Leoch and many others told me,” Thane whispered. “Except one person.”
I chuckled. “Let me guess…Gaia.”
Thane smiled and nodded. “When she learned what I had done—she saw the torment I’d caused my soul. I’ll never forget that night. She told me I deserved to feel agony for slaughtering the mage. I was wrong—the mage was young, and lost, and I struck from behind. But that isn’t what I remember most about what she said. After I moaned and complained about my anguish, then continued to speak bitter words toward Bron for making me do such things, Gaia stopped me—you can imagine the sort of looks that woman can give. She told me I now had a choice: spiral into bitterness and turn into a monster like the man I hated so much, or take that suffocating remorse and remember compassion.
“She told me we would have to fight our enemies someday, and they would die at our hands, but it was how we fought that mattered. Honorable defense of our people and for our way of life was the only way, or we would become no better than those we fought. Compassion was the last thing I wanted to have, but her words wouldn’t leave me. I’m convinced that night was when I first began falling in love with a mage,” Thane said with a smile. “Slowly, and I mean years, I began to embrace her words. I’ve tried to fight with honor, lead with honor, ever since.
“So, if I should face Bron again, I will fight him until he is no longer breathing. But
I will not fight him out of hatred, I will take him out of love for my family, for my people. There is a power in such things. It is why I agreed with Jade’s compromise. She has compassion. I assure you, Teagan, she is the queen our people need. I see much of my younger self in you, and you have every right to feel angst against those who have wronged you. But do not lose yourself to anger, grudges, and hatred. Most often there is more to the story. I learned that a very painful way.”
We didn’t say anything for a long time, we simply allowed the space between us to fill with Thane’s words. Finally, I sighed and stood. “Well, that is a relief,” I muttered.
“What is?”
“I’m not the only one who screws up. I sort of like not having a perfect dad.”
Thane laughed and took my outstretched hand and lifted to his feet. “I never said I wasn’t perfect now. Perfection is a journey, and I reached the end of mine long ago.”
He shoved my shoulder, and we both stalked back to the cave. There was vulnerability in his story. I wasn’t the only one who had grappled with the thin line of turning to dark hatred or following the harder path of the light. Tao was a thorn in my side, but he’d been dealt with. But there was an entire bramble bush I hadn’t dealt with. The truth of what I’d heard ate at me each minute of the day. I could feel myself drowning in anger and hatred. It stopped today. I would face it. I hoped I could face it as Thane had advised—out of defense for someone I loved, not simply because I wanted to rip the scales from his slithering lindworm back.
Ced was surrounded as usual with his guard dogs at the ledge of the cave. Thankfully, they were in human form. Unsheathing one of the jade swords, I stomped toward the prince. Magnus saw me first and protectively stood in front of his royal. There were no weapons—the lindworms were inside the cave, but being armed was not part of the deal.
“You will stand back,” Magnus bellowed as I took hold of the second hilt and ripped it from my back.