by A. E. Wasp
"Really?" Alex asked Suzanne.
"Really, truly, honey. Don't you like it?" She motioned for Danny to open the side doors. Grabbing one car seat off the platform truck, she hopped nimbly into the back of the van. The van didn't seem to have any middle seats, and Alex wondered if the Lipes had driven a separate car. He wasn't looking forward to driving home. Hopefully, Sergei would do it.
Rattling off the many features of the van, she had the car seat installed in two seconds flat. It had taken Alex about ten minutes every time he'd tried.
"Hand me that other seat, will ya, honey?" She hooked that one up just as quickly in the back of the van. "Now this here is the safest space for them, and with those middle seats down, it's easy peasy to get back here." She waved at Danny and Sergei over the back of the seat. "Honey, get those babies strapped in and let gets these boys home. I bet they are wiped out."
She wasn't wrong.
They strapped the babies in the car seats with a minimum of fussing. Sergei was utterly impressed with the way the seats of the van folded down into the floor. To Alex's relief, Danny slid behind the wheel.
Alex's heart beat faster with every mile that brought them closer to home and closer to them being alone with the kids.
He prayed like he never had before that he didn't screw this up.
Suzanne and Danny showed no signs of abandoning Alex and Sergei. They pulled the van into the garage that had been cleaned out to make room for the van. Sergei's precious Mercedes had been moved to the detached garage in the back.
As soon as Alex walked in the door carrying a sleeping David, Torvill and Dean came sauntering into the kitchen from the other room as if they just happened to be heading that way. They deliberately ignored Alex as they stalked around the room, sniffing each item as it was moved from the van to the kitchen.
"I think they are mad at you," Sergei whispered, sounding amused and exhausted at the same time.
"You think?" Alex whispered back. The last thing they wanted to do was wake the babies. Their schedule was all messed up, and there was a good chance they would wake up yelling with hunger, but with luck, they'd sleep for another hour.
"Where are we going to put them down?" he asked Sergei. "Do we have the Pack and Plays yet?"
Suzanne pushed past them, scooping up Dean as she did. "Hey, kitty. Aren’t you a wrinkly little thing? Don't worry about the cribs, boys. Follow me. Me and the girls took care of everything."
Sergei shrugged his shoulders, and they followed her up the stairs, down the hall, and into a room Alex didn't remember ever noticing before.
The large, brightly lit room had been transformed into a nursery, with new furniture, bookshelves stuffed with books and toys, and sweet pictures on the walls.
"Oh my God," Alex said. Tiptoeing across the room, he laid David down in the crib. Sergei gently placed Tanya in with him. They snorted gracelessly and loudly, rousing the slightest bit. They rolled until they felt each other, and then slipped back into a deep sleep.
Alex picked up the baby monitor from the top of the new dresser and motioned for everyone to leave the room. They trooped back down to the kitchen where Danny sat sipping a cup of coffee and petting Torvill, who was curled up in his lap.
"I like your rat, Sergei. Never seen one so big," he said with a smile. He took a sip of his coffee. Alex's eyes darted from the mug to the cabinet door and back again. The cabinet door where the list was taped. Danny snorted into his cup. "I don't judge, man."
Alex's face flamed red.
Danny stood up. "I made coffee. The fridge is stocked. One of the girls is going to come over tonight and stay here. I think they got a whole schedule blocked out until they find a nanny for you."
Alex protested. He wasn't even sure why. It was just too much. Just all too much. To his horror, tears started leaking from his eyes. Big, silent tears that he couldn't stop.
Sergei grabbed him in a hug and Alex clung to him like he was a life preserver. Sergei kissed his head, murmuring sweet nonsense to him as he guided Alex out of the kitchen. Danny and Suzanne left quietly.
"I'm sorry," he sniffled into Sergei's chest. "I don't know why I'm crying."
"Really?" Sergei asked, pushing him gently onto the couch in the study. "You cannot find one reason? Maybe two small, sleeping ones?" He tucked a blanket around Alex, and with a flip of a few switches, lit the Christmas tree and started the gas fire.
Alex hiccupped a laugh. Sergei stretched out on the couch, tugging Alex against him and maneuvering them until Alex laid tucked under his arm.
"It is okay to cry. It is good to cry." He wiped Alex's tears away with his thumb. "You were so strong for the babies and me this week. You carried us all. Tonight, we are home. Safe. It is okay to fall apart now. It is my turn to hold you."
Alex draped his arm over Sergei, resting his head on his chest. The familiar rise and fall of Sergei's breath and the steady, strong thumping of his heart centered Alex, grounding him in the moment.
He concentrated on matching his breathing to Sergei's. This moment was all that was real, and right now they were all safe, healthy, fed, and warm.
And loved. That, he knew.
"I love you," he said, tilting his head up for a kiss.
"I love you, too." Sergei cradled Alex's head with one hand, thumb rubbing along the base of his skull. His fingers combed through Alex's hair.
"I love your babies so much, Serhoya. I didn't know it could feel like that. How can you love someone so fast and so much? They can't even speak yet." The way he felt about Tatyana and David terrified him. How did parents do it? How did they survive having parts of their heart and soul walking around, vulnerable and unprotected?
"I did not know either." Sergei rubbed his hand slowly up and down Alex's back. He could tell Sergei was thinking about something. He waited for a few breaths, wiping away the last of his tears, gathering his strength.
Leaning up, he smoothed Sergei's hair back from his forehead and kissed him gently.
Sergei kissed him back. "Do you think," he started in English, then stopped and switched to Russian the way he did when he didn't want to have to struggle to express himself. "Do you think my parents felt that way about me when I was born? Do you think they looked at me and loved me like that?"
Tears filled Alex's eyes again. It seemed like it was a night for them. "Oh, my love. I'm sure they did."
Sergei shook his head. "I don't know. If they did. If they felt for me anywhere close to what I feel for our babies, they never would have sent me away. They would never hate me."
Alex bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood to stop himself from breaking down into sobs for Sergei, for both the traumatized, bereft sixteen-year-old and the kind, loving man with the broken heart in his arms right now.
"They don't hate you," he forced himself to say. "Whatever their reasons, however wrong they are, it is not because they hate you. I am sure of it." They don't even know you, he thought. And they certainly didn't deserve to know him.
It might be petty, and it might be wrong, but if Sergei's parents heard about the babies, from the press or from Lena's parents, and tried to get in touch with him, Alex would hang up on them in a heartbeat and never tell Sergei they had called.
Part of him hoped they would try, just so he could have the satisfaction of denying them access to the only grandchildren they would ever have and the amazing man they had been lucky enough to know and then thrown away.
He wouldn't say any of that to Sergei.
"Why don't you sleep," Sergei said, still speaking Russian, his thoughts turned back to his past. "I will listen for the babies and take care of them when they wake up." He tugged the ponytail holder out of Alex's hair, combing out the tangles with his fingers.
The cats ventured into the room, jumping onto the couch. "You've forgiven me?" Alex asked them. "Was the cat sitter good to you? In the pictures he sent me, it looked like you were having fun." He cuddled Dean, and the little cat purred in ecstasy as
Alex rubbed his ears and kissed his head. Torvill took her preferred spot on Sergei's shoulder, where she could rub against his beard and kneaded her claws into his muscles.
It couldn't be past eight at night, but Alex felt as if he could sleep for a week. He may as well sleep while he could. He knew the babies would wake up at least once more before settling in for the night. Tatyana didn't have her doudou, the little stuffed dog she took everywhere. And David had fallen asleep in a wet diaper.
Tomorrow, Sergei had to head to the rink for morning skate in preparation for the game later that night. He hadn't heard if he or McVicker would be starting, but either way, he had to dress and be there.
Tomorrow, it would be just Alex and the babies and whichever poor woman had gotten tasked with babysitting him.
Tomorrow, real life would start.
27
Sergei
Come on, come on. What good was having a car that could hit two hundred miles an hour if you ended up trapped behind a Prius going forty in a forty-five? If he made it home in the next ten minutes, he’d have a half an hour with Alex and the kids before David and Tatyana’s bedtime. He was supposed to have been home already, but the photo shoot had gone longer than planned, and he was running late.
He shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d never known a photo shoot to end on time, but it had never mattered before. No one had ever been waiting for him. That changed everything.
The light in the intersection ahead of them was green, but the crosswalk timer was counting down from five. Instead of maintaining a steady speed that would have gotten them both through the green light with plenty of time, the Prius driver had slowed down in anticipation of the light changing to red. Mentally apologizing to the environmentally-conscious driver, he floored the accelerator, used the left-turn lane as an illegal passing lane, and sped around her and through the intersection.
Behind him, the Prius slowed to a stop at the yellow; the driver no doubt cursing rich assholes in sports cars who thought they owned the road. He would dedicate his next save to her and send some money to the Sierra Club.
After he kissed his babies and his boyfriend. He was so tired of not having the evening with them; tired of having to read Alex’s notes about what they had done that day instead of getting to actually experience it.
It seemed that he and the babies were on opposite schedules. Even on home game days, Alex and the babies were all asleep by the time Sergei got home.
He’d told Alex more than once that he was happy to get up with them in the mornings when he was in town so Alex could sleep in, but Alex had insisted it was fine, that he loved getting up with them.
Sergei found that hard to believe. Oh, he knew Alex loved the babies, but he had never loved mornings. Alex had seemed almost offended when Sergei had pushed the subject, so he had dropped it. He didn’t want to fight.
The light was still shining through the nursery window as he crossed the backyard from the detached garage. He walked faster. Once inside, he kicked off his shoes, tossed his overcoat and jacket on the table, and took the stairs two at a time, pulling off his tie as he did.
Condensation dripped off the mirrors in the twins’ bathroom, and splashing and laughter echoed off the tiles. Alex was talking to the babies in French, telling them what he was doing, and, if Sergei was interpreting correctly, having a conversation with them.
Tanya caught sight of Sergei first, squealing and slapping at the water. David turned to see what she was looking at and starting shouting excitedly and rocking against the plastic seat holding him in place.
Torvill, who had been walking around the edge of the tub, jumped at the high-pitched squeal and fell into the water with a scrabble of claws.
That made the babies squeal louder than Sergei had thought possible. Dean tore out of the bathroom, tail between his legs. Torvill jumped out of the tub, heading for the door.
“Catch her,” Alex ordered, lunging forward to catch David as the suction cups on the bath ring came unstuck with a pop and he came perilously close to smashing his face on the edge of the tub.
Goalie reflexes kicked in, and Sergei grabbed the cat with one hand while slamming the bathroom door with his foot. The slam echoed in the suddenly silent room.
“I’m home,” Sergei said with a weak smile, his white dress shirt getting soaked as Torvill attempted to crawl out of his grip and over his shoulder.
Alex lifted David out of the seat and laid him on a fluffy towel that was ready and waiting on the floor. David immediately rolled onto his stomach and tried to crawl away. Alex grabbed his ankle and dragged him gently back. “Get back here, you monster.” David giggled, and Alex quickly wrapped him up tightly. “Allez hop, tu veux aller voir ton papa?”
Standing up, with a wince, Alex reached for Torvill, detaching her from Sergei’s shirt. “Take Davka and dry him off. I might as well give Torvill a bath since she’s already wet.
Sergei looked at Tatyana still splashing and babbling in the shallow water. “Is it safe to have cat and baby in the water together?”
“Torvill loves baths. And God knows both cats need it desperately.” He sat the cat in the tub and gently poured water down her back from a plastic cup. “If you don’t pick your son up, he’s going to crawl away.”
Sergei took a step toward where the baby lay on the fluffy bath mat. David stared up at his father in awe. Sergei realized he must look like a giant. Crouching down, he picked David up, kissing his head and tickling his cheeks with his beard. David let loose with a peal of baby laughter that Sergei would never get tired of hearing.
David patted his beard with his hands, babbling something Sergei chose to interpret as approval.
“His pajamas are on the counter,” Alex said from behind him.
“Ga!” Tatyana babbled.
“Oui, minou,” Alex answered, voice soft. “The kitty needs a bath. She’s a dirty girl just like you. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, girl,” he said to Torvill. “Yeah, you love that, don’t you? You’re a good girl.”
Sergei stared at the long-sleeved one-piece pajamas with close to a dozen snaps and tried to figure out the logistics of finding a safe, flat place to lay David and how to get him into the outfit without him crawling away or rolling off a counter.
“When you’re done, can you stick him in the baby seat and come get Tanya? I’ve got to dry Torvill, or she’ll get sick.”
Sergei looked over to where Alex pointed. Two stripped-down car seats sat next to each other by the wall. Okay. Sergei could do this. He’d stopped both Sidney Crosby and Conner McDavid in the last few months; he could dress two babies. At the same time. Mobile babies with a death wish.
Somehow, with clear instructions from Alex, they got both babies, and both cats washed, dried, and dressed. Alex looked more exhausted than the babies by the time they were in the nursery getting bedtime bottles and books.
Alex sat in the glider rocker, swaying gently and reading Tatyana a counting book about doggies that she seemed to love. “Five dogs howling at the moon,” he said softly.
Sergei paced the room slowly, a sleepy David growing heavy in his arms. He smelled like warm lavender and clean baby. He was so warm, vulnerable, and trusting in Sergei’s arms. Completely dependent on him and Alex to keep him alive. The responsibility threatened to overwhelm Sergei.
“Bedtime, mon p‘tit minou,” Alex said with a kiss to Tatyana’s head. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and she was almost asleep already. Alex laid her in the crib, then motioned for Sergei to put David down as well.
David was sound asleep in Sergei’s arms. He wanted to hold him all night, inhaling his sweet baby scent and feeling his soft skin.
But he also wanted to be feeling Alex’s soft skin. It had been a while. With a final cuddle and a gentle kiss, he laid David in the crib with his sister.
He followed Alex out of the nursery, closing the door quietly behind him. “I am going to change,” he said, unbuttoning his still-wet dress shirt.
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��’K,” Alex said shortly, headed toward the stairs.
Sergei stopped him with a hand on his hip. He tugged Alex against him. “I miss you,” he said, tilting Alex’s chin up for a kiss. He closed his eyes as he kissed Alex. Everything felt right when they were together. He exhaled deeply.
Alex broke the kiss and gently but firmly disengaged from Sergei. “I have to clean up some stuff downstairs.”
“Aren’t you going to change?” Alex’s shirt was still damp from the bath.
He frowned down at his shirt as if he hadn’t even noticed. “No. There’s no point.”
Sergei grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt as he tried to leave again. “Lyosha. Stay. Come shower with me and then we go to bed.” He let go of Alex’s t-shirt and held his hand instead. “Please?”
Alex sighed. Sergei could tell he was arguing with himself. “I still have to clean up the kitchen, throw in the laundry, and get things ready for the morning.”
“Let housekeeper get it tomorrow.” He really didn’t get the point of cleaning before the housekeeper came. Maybe he should talk to Alex about having her come every other day instead of twice a week. Alex got so touchy about that kind of thing lately, though. He might just do it without talking to Alex.
Alex was still radiating tension. Sergei had to fix this. “How about I help clean up kitchen and make bottles very quickly, and then shower and bed?”
Alex hesitated, and Sergei got the feeling that he was trying to find a reason not to go to bed with him, but that couldn’t be right; it had been so long since they’d had any time together. Okay, it had been a week since they’d had any full-body, totally naked time together. After going so many years without it, Sergei was surprised by how quickly he’d gotten addicted.
“Come on.” He put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and guided him down the stairs. “Why do you not hire a nanny yet, if there is so much work?” Alex tensed under his hand. Looked like he had said the wrong thing again.