What he didn’t tell his brothers was that the doctor would also bring in a plastic surgeon to clean up his scars. They couldn’t make them disappear, but they could make them look less gruesome.
Adria swore they didn’t bother her. He never saw even a hint that she lied about that. But another woman might not feel the same way. So he was going for it, despite the fact it meant more pain.
The operation meant he’d lose several nights in Adria’s bed. He regretted that because he hoarded away memories of their nights together like they’d end and that’s all he’d have left.
He ignored the anxiety that rose up from his belly to his throat at the thought of a day when he wouldn’t have Adria.
He shoved that thought out of his mind, and all the others like it, and focused on his brothers.
“Surgery is early in the morning. Two days in the hospital if all goes well, then home and more rehab.”
“Okay. We’ve got your back. We’ll get you there and home. No problem.” Tate released Sunny. He immediately attacked the laces on Drake’s boots.
Tate took off his ball cap and scratched at his sweaty blond head. “What’s going on with you and Adria? Did you two have a fight or something?”
That came out of left field and punched him in the gut. “What the hell are you talking about?” They’d been very careful not to get caught. They kept their conversations to more or less hello and goodbye when they saw each other during the day. He’d become adept at sneaking in and out of the house without his siblings any the wiser.
“You two act like you can’t stand to be in the same room together for more than two minutes.”
Not true, he spent a couple of hours with her every night, though they didn’t do a lot of talking. But he liked their comfortable silences, lying in the dark together, her in his arms, her fingers brushing soft strokes wherever they landed on him.
She never showed any sign of being anxious to be rid of him after they had sex.
“Nothing’s going on. She’s busy with renovating the shop and getting it ready to open. I’ve been doing my thing, trying to focus on getting better.”
“Trinity asked Tate and me to bring a load of wood to the shop tomorrow and put up some shelves.” Declan notched his chin up. “Have you seen the building?”
“No.”
“Come with us.”
He’d like to see what Trinity talked about each night over dinner. She painted a picture of her and Adria’s days and the progress they’d made on the old building. “I’ve got physical therapy in the morning.”
“After then.” Declan wasn’t letting him off the hook.
He wanted to see what Trinity and Adria had been working so hard on, but he and Adria had this unspoken rule that they kept their daily lives separate.
Trinity was his sister. He wanted to support her. “If you can wait until I get back, I’m in.” He tried to tamp down how much he looked forward to seeing the place and Adria doing what made her happy.
“Great. We’ll get everything loaded and be ready when you get back.”
“Sounds good.” Drake took Thor’s reins and walked him into the stables to brush him down, thinking about the deal with Adria and whether or not he wanted more.
Was it fair to want more when she’d made her wishes clear?
Did she want more?
She’d never given him any indication that she did.
He needed to stop thinking about it.
A car drove into the driveway behind him. He turned, hoping to catch a daytime glimpse of Adria. Instead, two other women climbed out of a truck, both dark haired. One was supermodel gorgeous. The other not as stunningly pretty, but still drew his eye and held his attention.
He wondered if they were here to see Tate and Declan. Where had his brothers gone? And how did those two lump-heads attract these beautiful women?
The women spotted him and walked into the stables. He stopped brushing Thor, tried to decide if he could duck into a stall, but they’d already seen him. And that was stupid. Didn’t mean he wanted them to get a close-up look at his face.
“Hey, Drake, I’m Sonya. This is Roxy. Is Adria around?”
First, how did they know him? Second, who were they to Adria? And why did it sound like he should know the answer to that question?
“Uh, I think she’s still at the shop with Trinity.”
Roxy walked right up to Thor and brushed her hand down his neck. “He’s gorgeous.”
Sonya scooped up Sunny and accepted the wild licks on her cheek. “He’s as sweet as Adria told us.”
“Who are you guys?” He blurted out the question, making both of them stare at him.
Roxy recovered first. “Sorry. I thought you knew. We’re Adria’s sisters.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I thought she only had a twin.”
“And us,” Sonya added. “We’re not blood. We grew up together at Wild Rose Ranch.”
That sounded familiar. “Where her mom works?”
Roxy’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “She told you about her mom?”
“That and what happened to her when she was a kid,” he confirmed.
Sonya and Roxy exchanged surprised looks. “She never talks about that.”
He shrugged. “She told me.”
“Interesting.” Sonya dragged out the word by several syllables.
“Not so much. I acted like an asshole and she put me in my place. She wanted me to know bad things happen to everyone.”
Roxy nodded. “They do. That’s how we all became sisters.”
Sonya let Sunny gnaw on her fingers with his sharp little puppy teeth. “I can’t believe she opened up to you about her past.”
Roxy turned to Sonya. “Maybe she’s finally making peace with it.”
Drake wanted them to know it was more than that. “If Juliana can face her demons, Adria can face hers.”
“The way Adria told us you’ve faced yours.”
She talked about him. He tried not to make too much out of that, but it made him feel good. “I’m working on it.”
“That’s good. She likes you.” Roxy’s statement held truth but didn’t seem to have a deeper, more personal reason attached to it.
Drake didn’t think the sisters knew about their relationship. “I owe her a lot.”
Sonya nodded, getting what he didn’t say. “She sees the hurt people try to hide.”
He stared out the barn doors and felt Adria seconds before Trinity pulled into the drive and Adria jumped out and ran for her sisters. “She’s got a way about her.”
He didn’t think he said it out loud.
Roxy walked up and stood right next to him. “She’s special. Anyone who can’t see that and treat her that way doesn’t deserve her.”
He wanted to say he knew and treated her special, but how could he when their relationship was so strange and purely physical now?
You’re lying to yourself.
Maybe. But that was reality.
A sad reality.
Adria ran into Sonya’s open arms and hugged her fiercely.
Roxy nudged his arm. “She doesn’t do anything without putting her whole heart in it.”
His chest lit up with something he didn’t want to name or acknowledge because no matter how close they’d become, she still wasn’t for him. He wasn’t what she needed. Not when it came to life and love and family. The better he got, the more he wanted those things.
Adria released Sonya and stared at Roxy, her eyes watery. “I missed you.”
Roxy closed the distance to Adria and wrapped her in a hug that looked more maternal than friendly. Roxy was obviously the leader of their pack. “Phone calls and texts just don’t cut it. I needed to see you.”
Adria held a handful of Roxy’s long dark hair and gave it a tug. “I’m so glad you convinced me to come to Montana instead of putting Juliana in a Nevada facility.”
“You needed something new. So did she. And it means we can come see you whenever we want.”
“How was the drive?”
“Lovely.” Sonya rubbed her hand up and down Adria’s back.
“And you met Drake?”
Roxy smiled over her shoulder at him. “You said he was gorgeous, but you didn’t add that he’s built.”
Drake tried not to listen to their conversation, but voices echoed in the alleyway down the long stables. He tried to focus on brushing Thor and keeping Sunny from ending up below his feet instead of on them eating his laces. Which reminded him, he needed to buy a few more pairs. He’d already switched them out twice thanks to the toothy little beast who wanted nothing to do with a chew toy.
“I was keeping that to myself so you didn’t tell Juliana.”
“She likes them big, strong, and tough looking.”
“I have to say, Juliana’s onto something.” Pure feminine appreciation filled those words.
He glanced up at Adria, caught her pretty blush and the sexy smile she shot him before she grabbed both her sisters’ arms and pulled them toward the door. “Did you bring the dresses for me to try on?”
He lost whatever her sisters said back, thought he’d like to see Adria in a sexy dress, and tried to keep from thinking about all that girl talk he overheard. But he couldn’t dismiss the easy way they talked about him. Not a single mention about the scar marring his face. Trinity had told him a dozen times he didn’t look that bad. He disagreed every time he looked in the mirror, but maybe it was just another way he’d been punishing himself.
Yes, Melanie had a hard time looking at him, but maybe that had more to do with the fact it hurt her to see him injured. She didn’t want to think about how he’d gotten those scars.
For the first time, he wondered if her reaction had more to do with her hating him leaving her for a job she thought too dangerous than it did with how he looked. Her reasons for leaving him had been numerous, but she’d never come out and said the scars were part of the reason.
He’d put that on her and himself. He wanted a reason that didn’t have to do with the fact he’d failed to hold on to her because he’d done as he pleased without considering her feelings and how it would affect their relationship.
She begged him not to take another tour of duty, that she wanted them to start their lives together. He’d gone anyway, expecting her to wait for him.
He’d been a class-A jerk.
To her and himself.
Dr. Porter constantly told him he was too hard on himself. In this instance, he got it.
Didn’t mean he was going to cancel the reconstructive surgery. He needed it for his peace of mind. But Adria and her sisters had opened his eyes and bolstered his ego.
Another thing he should thank Adria for one of these days.
Another reason he couldn’t wait to see her tonight.
Chapter Sixteen
Adria knew what was coming, dreaded having to say anything, but felt a little relieved to be able to talk to her sisters about her and Drake. As much as she and Drake shared, and as close as they’d become, they now held back from each other to the point they barely spoke.
But the way they came together each night said so much.
At least to her.
Which made her feelings so confusing.
She missed their open, honest talks.
Her sisters waited, saying hello to Trinity on the way to the cabin. But once they were through the door, they didn’t hold back.
Roxy went first. “Spill it, little sister. What is going on with you and that hunky cowboy who can’t take his eyes off you?”
“He barely spared me a look.” Denying it seemed silly, but she went with it anyway.
Sonya rolled her eyes. “Drake is a trained soldier. He doesn’t have to look directly at you to track your every move.” Sonya softened. “I saw the way you looked at him. Half-afraid to be caught and desperate to check to see if he was okay.”
“I worry about him.” The confession didn’t surprise them.
Roxy tilted her head and studied Adria. “You told him about your past.”
“He was so lost in his pain and what happened to him, he couldn’t see past it. He couldn’t see a way out of it. So I told him what happened, so he could look at me and see that I’d found a way to still live my life.” Adria raked her fingers through her hair. “It worked. He’s getting better every day. He goes to physical therapy. He talks to his therapist. He even talks to a fellow soldier, who can relate to his experience. I see all the little changes in him adding up to him being able to live a little bit more each day.”
Sonya put her hand on Adria’s shoulder. “You can’t fix him. You can’t fix Juliana. You can’t take away their pain and make it your own.”
“I’m not doing that. I’m happy for Drake and his family. They have him back.” And she had something special with him that she needed.
Roxy moved in and hugged her. “And you want Juliana back.”
Adria held her close. “Yes. I haven’t spoken to her in weeks. That’s never happened in our whole lives.” Tears stung her eyes and spilled over. “It’s like part of me is missing.”
Sonya put her hand on Adria’s head. “You can’t replace her or fill that empty space with Drake and his problems, honey.”
Adria stepped back and glared at her sisters. “Did you ever think I’m using him to fix me?”
Roxy and Sonya both eyed her.
Roxy asked the hard question. “What does that mean?”
Adria raised her hands and let them fall. She didn’t know how to make them understand. “My heart pounds every time I try to be with a man because I think it’s going to turn ugly. The couple of guys I’ve been with, I tried to be open to their affection, but only ended up enduring it. They thought I was cold or just a bitch because I didn’t like it and never . . . you know.”
Sonya put her hand to her chest. “Oh, Adria.”
Roxy leaped to the right conclusion. “It’s not like that with Drake. You, ah, enjoy his company.”
Adria tried to lighten things up. “You mean I like having sex with him.”
“Do you?” Leave it to Roxy to stay on point and make sure Drake wasn’t using or mistreating her.
The grin gave her away. “Probably more than I should.”
Sonya knocked Adria’s arm with her elbow. “Then you’re doing it right.”
Adria crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s not true. I made another mistake.”
Roxy put her hands over Adria’s and held her still. “What mistake?”
“Not to get into Drake’s story, it’s his to tell, but he needed something and I needed something. They turned out to be the same thing, but in different ways.”
“You both needed sex?” Sonya’s earlier exuberance dimmed.
“Yes. And no.” She didn’t know how to explain it. “We needed someone to give us a chance to explore sex again without judgment or expectations or even the guarantee it would work out to the other person’s advantage.”
Roxy stepped back and thought about that. “Sounds like you two connected because you wanted the same thing. That’s how relationships start, honey. You deserve someone who understands you and knows what you need and is willing to give it to you.”
She scrunched her mouth and tried to hold back the disappointment and regret over what she’d done. “That’s where I made the mistake. I made it clear the only thing I wanted was sex and turned something that started out from the get-go on a deep level into something that now feels . . . I don’t know . . . not enough.”
Sonya’s mouth dropped open. “You, you, are having no-strings-attached sex.”
Adria couldn’t believe it either, because that wasn’t her. But she’d thought it would break down her walls and allow her to open herself to having a real relationship with a man. Someday. But she soon realized what she shared with Drake didn’t mean it would translate to someone else. Because that other person wouldn’t be Drake. And finding someone like him, someone who understood her needs and how her past
affected her now, well, that seemed a long shot.
She answered Sonya, even though she hadn’t really asked a question. “I don’t think sex comes without strings. At least for me.”
Roxy touched her arm. “How does Drake feel about your arrangement?”
“I have no idea. We barely speak to each other.” She bit her lip and thought about their nights. “And yet, I feel so close to him. I don’t have to tell him how I’m feeling or how I want the night to go. He reads me and I read him and we give each other what the other needs. It’s deep and profound and fulfilling and yet I . . .” She couldn’t say it out loud because it seemed selfish.
Roxy finished for her. “You want more.”
“I feel guilty for wanting more. I made the deal and set the terms of the arrangement. I feel like what we have is special. I don’t want to lose it. In bed, we work great. But beyond that, I have no idea, because both of us have stopped talking about our lives.”
Sonya leaned back against the couch. “You flipped the script. Before you were friends with guys. You had similar interests and enjoyed each other’s company. You thought they were safe, but you had no chemistry. Now you have real chemistry, but whatever personal connection you share you clipped. You’ve tried to cut your heart off from being hurt. Maybe for good reason. You said he’s not quite right in the head.”
Anger flashed. “I never said that. He’s a good man.”
“With a lot of baggage to unpack,” Roxy added, though her voice gentled. “Trinity warned you away from him because he’s unstable.”
“That was then. He’s working on recovering from his injuries and the trauma he’s suffered.”
“Which is why you thought it a good idea to keep things simple between you in the beginning, I take it.” Sonya guessed right.
Adria tilted her head and raked her fingers through her hair again. “You know what? I don’t know what I want anymore. The contractor said the new roof on the building would take two days. It’s been four. The building inspector dinged us on four infractions in the kitchen area. That cost us another five grand to fix. The chairs I ordered for the tables I picked out arrived and they’re the wrong color. I wanted black with rustic wood seats. They’re turquoise with black painted seats. I had to send them back and the right ones won’t arrive until the day before we open, which means I’ll be scrambling at the last minute to put them all together. Juliana won’t take my calls even though they’re allowing her calls this week. Finally. But no, she doesn’t want to talk to me. She thinks I betrayed her when all I wanted to do was help. I’m lying to my friend every second of the long days we work together about sleeping with her brother. And I just want something to work out for once.”
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