Mike did this, but she’d hired him. She’d brought him into Juliana’s life.
Roxy cupped her face. “This is not your fault.”
“I’m not so sure about that. My decisions led us here.”
Roxy swept her thumbs over Adria’s damp cheeks. “All you ever did was love her and want the best for her.”
“Stay here,” Crystal pleaded. “This is your home.”
She didn’t want to hurt her mom more by pointing out a brothel wasn’t home. Not for her. The cottage she lived in with her sisters used to be her sanctuary, but now it held too many memories of her and Juliana’s best days together. She had a business in Montana but she lived at the McGrath ranch.
She may not have her own place, but she’d felt like she finally found herself with Drake.
Her phone rang in her pocket. She let it go to voice mail, but her heart beat a little faster and lighter knowing it was Drake.
She wasn’t with him, but he wanted her to know he hadn’t left her.
He was just a phone call away.
But she didn’t reach out.
If she heard his voice, saw him, she’d break.
Right now, she had something she needed to do.
“Let’s go, Roxy.” That feeling of needing to escape, get away, intensified again.
By the time they got out of the mansion and walked halfway across the wide pasture separating the cottage from the big house, she couldn’t stand not listening to Drake’s message. She pulled her phone out and hit the voice mail button.
“I know you feel lost right now. You and me, we belong together. Come back. I miss you so damn bad.” Her tough talking cowboy’s words were gruff and filled with emotion. He meant every word. He understood that she didn’t really know where she belonged right now. And he was leading her right back to him.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Drake thought going for a ride and talking to Jamie would help him sort out his jumbled thoughts and maybe improve his mood. Instead, he’d said nothing and felt even further away from Adria.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
Dr. Porter said the same thing during their last session, but he didn’t know how to put into words everything swirling inside him. Didn’t know how to do it then; didn’t know how to do it now.
“Are the flashbacks back? Did you lose your shit again? What?” Jamie didn’t mince words.
“I lost Adria.” He wanted her back so damn bad he couldn’t stand it.
She was due home late this afternoon, but that didn’t mean she wanted to see him. She hadn’t answered a single text or voice mail.
She grieved for Juliana. He got that. He couldn’t believe what happened and that she was gone. He liked her. He missed seeing her and Adria together and finding the little things that made them different. Everyone saw how alike they were, but he’d always been looking for what made Adria special. And he guessed in some way also made Juliana special.
“I heard about the murder at Almost Homemade on the news. They’re still looking for the suspect. Adria must be devastated.”
She and Dr. Porter probably already talked about all this and how it might affect him. “She left. She won’t speak to me.”
“Why? I’d expect after what happened she’d lean on you.”
“She might have if I hadn’t blamed her sister for almost killing Chase and blamed her for not keeping Juliana under control.”
Jamie frowned. “Oh, Drake.”
“I didn’t know what really happened at the time. None of us did. But I was angry and spoke without thinking.”
Jamie held his gaze. “Don’t you think she knows that?”
“If she does, she doesn’t care.”
“Don’t go there. You haven’t spoken to her. You don’t know where her head is at. She lost her sister. She’s grieving. Maybe she just needs time.”
“Maybe. Until then, every second feels like an eternity without her.”
“Tell her that.”
His anger flashed again. “She won’t answer the damn phone.”
“Find a way.” Jamie pinned him in her sharp gaze. “Words sting. They hurt. We say things we don’t mean all the time. Actions speak volumes. Show her how you really feel.”
He needed to get out of his head and do something. What he’d wanted to do was go find her and make her listen, but what he really needed to do was remind her what they had together and what they could have for their future.
Jamie broke into his thoughts. “Does she know you love her?”
“Everyone knows I love her.” It hadn’t been a secret. His family and hers pointed it out more than once.
He knew she loved him. At least she used to. Now he didn’t know how she felt.
“So she’s just supposed to know what you’re thinking and how you feel because someone else said it’s so? You talk about how solid you and Adria are, how she knows you and you know her. Yet you both hold back the one thing you both want the most. What are you afraid of, Drake? How can you expect her to forgive and stick by you when you’re still protecting your heart from her? You keep holding part of yourself back, so she does the same.”
Why are women always right?
“Tell her exactly how you feel.”
He’d wanted to say it in every message he left her, but he told himself that wasn’t something you left on voice mail. It needed to be said face-to-face.
He needed to show her they weren’t just words.
She needed to see it in him.
Jamie persisted. “Imagine how it will feel to hear her say it back to you.”
It would mean everything. His heart kind of floated in his chest with just the thought of it.
He reined his horse around and galloped back to her ranch.
Jamie followed and took the reins for his horse when he dismounted just outside the stables and headed for his truck. Jamie called out, “Go get her, Drake.”
He wished he could right this minute, but she wasn’t due back for a few more hours. Until then, he needed to prepare for her homecoming.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Drake spent the rest of the day checking things off the list in his head. He called a Realtor on his way home and stopped at the property he thought Adria would love. He wanted to buy it for her. For them. When he got home, he crunched the numbers and decided a life with Adria was worth the initial debt to buy both the house and the business he wanted.
He hated going to the cabin and not finding Adria there, but found himself choked up for a whole other reason. Seeing Juliana’s things brought home that she wasn’t coming back. So he saved Adria more heartache and cleaned the cabin, packing up Juliana’s things. He couldn’t imagine how it felt for Adria to go back home and see where she and Juliana grew up together and know she wasn’t coming home.
That unpleasant chore done, he headed back to the house to get ready to go see Adria, but his phone delivered the bad news right when he got out of the shower.
NOAH: They’re back
NOAH: She’s exhausted
NOAH: Better to come tomorrow morning
NOAH: Sorry know that’s not what you want to hear but she’s not doing well
Drake swore. He wanted to ignore Noah’s texts and go over there and demand to see her. But he also didn’t want to make a bad day worse for her either. He wanted to hold and comfort her, but right now he didn’t know if she wanted anything from him.
Waiting sucked, but he’d do it for her if that’s what she needed. He had to believe Noah knew Adria well enough to know what she wanted and needed because he was there with her.
Drake skipped dinner and hunkered down in his quiet room on his lonely bed with his laptop and Sunny, who lay along his thigh and hip and whined.
“I miss her, too.”
Sunny looked up at him, hope in his eyes.
“Tomorrow. I promise.”
Sunny laid his head back on his paws and whined again.
He felt th
e same way. All he could do was distract himself from the pain and loneliness, so he got back to researching available security systems. If the owner accepted his offer, he wanted to hit the ground running.
Lost in the types of motion sensors on the market and the best types for different situations, it took him a minute to decipher the alarm going off on his phone.
Sunny lifted his head and barked a split second before Trinity burst into his room.
“She’s at the shop.”
Drake snagged his phone off the bed and swiped the screen to be sure. He’d reprogrammed the system so that even if she shut off the alarm and reset it, an alert would come to his and Trinity’s phones the second the motion-activated cameras were triggered after store hours.
Drake jumped out of bed, knocking his laptop to the floor. He didn’t even bother to stop and pick it up. He pulled on his boots without lacing them and hustled to the door. Sunny barked and pounced up and down on the bed. Trinity barely got out of his way before he rammed into her. He took the stairs down two at a time, dangerously putting himself at risk of falling if his left leg gave out, but his need to get to the store and see Adria overrode good sense.
Adrenaline pumped through his system. It probably gave him the strength he needed to avoid a bad fall.
Why was she there this late?
He jumped into his truck and leaned back so Sunny could jump into his lap and leap across the seat. He’d gotten so big these last couple months.
Trinity ran down the porch steps. “Drake. Wait. I want to go with you.”
He slammed the truck door and hit the window button, making it go down. “I need to make things right. I’ll call you after I talk to her.” He pushed the gas pedal to the floor and peeled out of the driveway.
Sunny barked, then sat on the seat, his head straight ahead as if he knew exactly where they were going and who they were going to see.
Drake disobeyed every speed law on his way into town. He kept his eyes straight ahead except for that couple seconds when he passed the property he checked out today.
A second alert chimed on his phone. He assumed she left the shop, then went back in. Why? He didn’t know. Didn’t care. He just wanted to see her. So on the straightaway into town, he did what he didn’t take the time to do when he got the first alert and went through the steps to view the secure live stream.
And there she was standing in the main part of the shop near the reading corner, staring at the floor. She collapsed to her knees and covered her face. Her shoulders shook with her sobs.
“I’m coming, sweetheart.”
He wanted to push the gas pedal to the floor, but as a concession to being in town, he slowed to only ten miles above the speed limit. When he spotted the shop, he breathed a sigh of relief that he’d finally made it.
He parked next to her Jeep by the back door, barely put the truck in Park and shut it off before he jumped out with Sunny right behind him, and slammed the truck door. His hands shook as he tried to find the right key to open the locked door. Sunny barked and pawed at the door, ready to get in and find Adria, too.
Drake pulled the door open, noted the alarm wasn’t set, and ran through the kitchen and out into the shop.
Sunny beat him to Adria.
She broke his heart, sobbing her heart out, lying on her back on the floor, knees bent, arms covering her face.
In the exact spot Juliana died.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Adria collapsed under her grief. She couldn’t hold it in. She couldn’t make it go away. So she let it wash over her, knowing that it just might kill her.
She couldn’t stand to stay one more second at Roxy and Noah’s with them watching her every move. She missed Juliana, so she came back here to where it all ended, hoping to feel her sister.
But she only felt empty.
The high-pitched whine didn’t register until a heavy furry body draped over her belly.
Sunny. Her sweet pup. Here to comfort her.
Which meant Drake was here.
Her desperate need to see him only made her cry harder.
She didn’t resist when Drake put his hands under her arms, lifted her, slipped down behind her, and pulled her and Sunny into his chest, held her close with his legs out straight on both sides of her, and wrapped her in his warmth and strength.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” Drake squeezed her close and buried his face in her hair. “Let it out. I won’t let you go.”
Those words only made her cry harder, because that’s what she’d had with Juliana. Someone who would never let her go, who’d never let her cry alone, who would always be there for her no matter what.
“I can’t stand to see you hurting like this. Don’t let this pain devour you. I need you. I love you.”
She turned in his arms, knocking Sunny off her lap, and hugged him tight. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“No one is fighting. I’m sorry for what I said, sweetheart. I didn’t know what really happened. You saved Chase.” He squeezed her tighter. “I know you miss Juliana with your whole heart and that is a loss greater than you can bear, but hold on to the fact that Chase is alive because of you.”
Her grief had made her completely lose sight of that one amazing fact. She wiped at her eyes, tried to catch her breath, and leaned back and looked at Drake for the first time in days. Just the sight of him eased her heart. “He’s really okay?”
“A little messed up in the head—”
“Who isn’t.” She managed a scoffing laugh.
“I’ve been a wreck without you. But Chase is home with his family and they want you to know how grateful they are for what you did.”
“I hated it, but it was the only choice to make. I’m just glad I got two more naloxone injections or they’d both be dead.” She wiped her tears and found that sitting in Drake’s arms, she could breathe again.
“Why did you have it? Didn’t you believe Juliana had put that behind her?” No sense or suspicion that she held something back came with that question.
“My mom has put it behind her about twenty-something times. As much as I believed in Juliana and that she wanted to be better, I couldn’t take a chance that she’d . . .” She buried her face in Drake’s neck because her worst fear had come to pass, but not in the way she thought it would happen.
Juliana had wanted to live. She’d worked hard to turn her life around and find a new direction.
Drake rubbed her back, up and down, trying so hard to soothe her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. For what it’s worth, I saw the way she settled in here with you. Every day she seemed a little stronger. I wanted to get to know her better.”
“She liked you. She liked me with you. It surprised her. You seemed the least likely man I’d choose, but then she saw what I saw—you’re perfect for me.”
He leaned back and stared down at her. “Do you mean that?”
She sat up but didn’t move away. “That night in the hospital, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to think or feel anymore. I wanted to get away from everything and everyone. But after I told my mom what happened and I was done doing the things I felt had to be done, I realized I was trying to find something. I listened to your message and I knew. I wasn’t running away from something, I was trying to get back to the way I feel when I’m with you. Here you are making me feel better.”
“I went to Noah’s but you were already gone. I wanted to go after you but I knew you needed to see your mom and take whatever time you needed. I wanted you to know I was here waiting for you to come home.”
“That’s the other thing I realized. When Juliana died, it felt like I didn’t know where I belonged because home was always where she was. Without her, I felt lost. Without you, there was no hope anything would be right again.”
“All you had to do was call me. I’d have come to you no matter how far away you went.”
“I know. Leaving didn’t make sense. Being here with you does. Because I love you, too.”
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She leaned in and kissed him. The second her lips touched his, her whole body went warm and she felt something wonderful instead of all the emptiness and sadness.
Sunny, his body pressed up behind her, growled, low and deep.
She’d never heard the young pup growl at anyone or anything.
Alerted to danger, she and Drake broke apart.
Adria spotted Mike, his eyes bloodshot, red rimmed, narrowed, and dazed. High, he stumbled to a stop when he locked eyes with her.
She saw red, rose, and ran right for him.
“You killed my sister.” She slammed into him, shoving him back a few steps, then she pummeled her fists into his chest.
He tried to grab her, but she dodged his grasp. “I didn’t think she’d die. I was just having some fun.”
She slapped him and left the imprint of her hand on his ruddy cheek. “You killed her!”
Mike pressed his hand to his face, then his eyes went wide, and he lunged for her. He pulled her close, spun her, and wrapped his arm around her throat, choking her.
Drake didn’t stop. He kept coming, his eyes narrowed and filled with fury. “You will not get away with this.”
“Back off!” Mike’s high-pitched words rang in her ear. The fear in those words set off the trembling in his body pressed to her back.
Drake stalked Mike as he dragged her backward.
Mike, rightfully so, feared Drake getting his hands on him.
She wasn’t going along with Mike willingly.
She wouldn’t be anyone’s victim. Never again.
She played dirty, reached back behind her rump, took his balls in a viselike grip, and twisted.
“Fuck!” He released her and shoved her toward Drake, who had no trouble catching her before she fell.
Sunny raced past them.
Mike leaned over, both hands on his balls.
Sunny sank his teeth into Mike’s arm. When he stood, Drake planted his fist right in Mike’s face, busting his nose and sending him falling backward like a felled tree. He hit the floor, his head thumping against the hardwood. Sunny barked and danced around him, making sure he didn’t get up again.
Tough Talking Cowboy Page 27