by Nyrae Dawn
I hear him chuckle and it only makes me burn more.
“You ready?” he says and I feel a quick squeeze of his hand. Caleb walks me down his driveway. Trying not to make it obvious that I want it to take six months for us to reach his cabin, I walk slowly. A girl’s got to get her kicks somehow.
When we reach his rickety stairs he puts his other hand on the opposite side of my waist and leads me up. A little slam of guilt hits me because I’m not dizzy anymore. My legs don’t feel rubbery like I could fall, but still I let him hold me.
Caleb manages to hold me and unlock his door at the same time. A second later, we’re walking into the darkened cabin.
He turns on a light. All sorts of warmth and tingles dance around inside me when his arm stays in place. I can’t believe this is happening. Too good to be true usually means that - Oh my God - It probably isn’t true. I’m probably lying outside, bleeding to death from Heather’s death push and imagining this whole thing.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re about to pass out on me.”
I decide then this can’t be a dream. If I were dying and creating this in my head, I wouldn’t do stupid things like looking like I’m going to pass out and the sighing earlier. “Yep!” Way too peppy for a dying girl.
“Sorry ‘bout the mess,” Caleb mumbles.
His cabin is even smaller on the inside than it looks from the outside. We’re standing in a small living room with a couch, chair and an old TV sitting on an even older wooden stand. In the corner is a black wood stove. Right across from the living room is a kitchen with a small, two person table that has definitely seen better days. The wood is weathered and faded. I don’t see the mess he’s talking about, though. His things are old, but not dirty. Everything is in place. “It’s not a mess. It looks great!”
“Yeah, real great,” Caleb grumbles.
Okay, maybe great wasn’t the best word. At least I’m again reassured I’m not dying unless you count from idiotism.
Caleb steps away, but still holds onto me with one arm. “Come on. Sit at the table and I’ll get a washcloth.”
Oh, I’m hurt. I almost forgot. Whoa, wait. Hold the phone; does he plan on cleaning me up? Engage heart attack.
All thoughts of sneaking out his bathroom window are gone. A near fight with The LP is so worth this. With Caleb’s help, I sit down.
His eyes dart around the room like he’s looking for something, then he says, “I’ll be right back,” and stalks down the hallway.
My eyes trace the room. There are no pictures on the walls. No school shots of Caleb through the years. No family portraits. Nothing. Even though it’s just me and Mom, my house is full of pictures. Everywhere you look there’s some kind of family memorabilia. I never thought about how comforting it is until I saw Caleb’s empty walls. My heart starts to ache.
Caleb walks back in the room, not giving me a chance to think about it anymore. He’s carrying two washcloths, a bandage and a tube of ointment. He stops walking right in front of me and stares. I can’t help but stare back. It’s like he has some kind of magical hold on me. I can’t ever look away when Caleb is around.
When I look in his eyes, I don’t see the boy who gets into fights, who’s been suspended, who skips school. And it’s not even just good looks I see, I swear. He’s vulnerable.
When he drops to his knees in front of me, I smile. Nothing could hold my lips from it right now.
“Um, I’m just gonna wash your face off. That cool?”
Yes, please. “You don’t have to. I can do it myself.” My voice shakes.
“Nah, I’ve cleaned up plenty of cuts and scrapes. No biggie.”
I try not and look at him while he wipes my face with one of the washcloths. He’s not touching my wound so I assume my forehead is dirty. Nice. A bloody, dirty forehead. I love that look.
Caleb puts the rag on the table and uses the other one to clean my wound. It stings a little. Nothing bad, but for some reason the cabin feels thick with pain. I don’t really understand it myself, but it does.
Risking a glance at Caleb, I watch him wince as he takes care of me. After he cleans it, he puts the ointment on. Please don’t let him hear my heart beating like crazy.
“I washed my hands.” He continues to spread the ointment with his finger. It’s then I realize how much this boy I hardly know is taking care of me. Then I think about his dad and his reputation. I’ve never heard anything about his mom so I don’t know where she is. I remember his comment about all the wounds he’s cleaned. I can’t help but wonder whose they were. If they were his, I wonder why no one was there to take care of him.
It doesn’t take much time for him to bandage my forehead. He hasn’t spoken since he told me he washed his hands. Words won’t come out of my mouth, but I know I should say something.
Caleb stands. “I’m going to put this stuff up real quick.”
While he’s gone I try taking a couple deep, quick breaths to calm myself. It only makes my nerves worse. He glances around his cabin before saying, “I’ll walk you home.”
At the same time, I say, “Thanks.” I smile, he half smiles. “Thanks for the help. Not the walk home. I mean, I would say thanks for the walk, but you don’t have to walk me. I do it all the time.”
Like he doesn’t know that. Gah, what’s wrong with me? He sees me walking all the time.
Caleb moves toward the door. “Not anymore, Kitten. Cavanaugh’s going to be pissed.”
The tingling is back and my mind is fighting over which comment to dissect. The fact that he’s making it sound like he plans to walk me home all the time because he doesn’t want The LP to bother me or that he called me Kitten. I have no idea why he’d call me that, but it sounds cute and I like it.
Biting the inside of my cheeks, I try not to break into a cheesy smile. I walk out the door. On the way, I see a trashcan on his porch with a half-full pack of cigarettes inside.
Chapter Six
A girl can only have so much back luck, and if I didn’t know better I would think I finally reached my peak. I’m still in shock Caleb plans to walk me home today. Yes, Caleb freakin’ Evans is meeting me at the line of trees in about forty-five seconds if my calculation is correct.
The icing on my good luck cake? Stacy missed school again today. Which is weird. The queen bee doesn’t usually leave her hive unattended so often, but I’m sure she’s evilly plotting her revenge or something. That’s what mean girls do, right?
See? I totally have good luck. Two boys, absentee bullies and a new job. Of course, that’s forgetting the fact that not long ago I was circled by a gang of Lipstick Nazi’s, but still.
I push through the door and pretty much skip down the hill. Not literally because I’m not a complete idiot, but it’s hard to keep the bounce out of my step.
Quickly, I glance behind me to make sure no one is watching and then pick up my speed a little. Caleb steps out from behind a tree and my stupid heart gets all giddy and dance-y again. Which then makes my even stupider feet start moving too fast and, yep, you guessed it, they get tangled and pretty soon I’m taking my second Caleb-witnessed nose dive into the ground.
I’m calling it a bad luck flashback.
Ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest, I push to my feet. Roll with it, Abbs. Act normal. Not like I have much choice because Caleb’s eyes are firmly on me and that ex-sexy, now annoying half-smile is tilting his lips.
Head high, I walk, much more slowly this time until I reach him and up close, annoying is gone and he’s sexy again.
“Have a nice trip?” he asks with a smirk.
My cheeks burn which is getting really old. I need to do something about this blushing thing. “Ha, ha. Very funny.”
Caleb shrugs and I memorize the way his shoulders rise and fall. “I thought it was.”
I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that I’m a complete idiot. “Hey, I’m the one with the comedy hour, remember? Stop trying to be funny.” Hmm, pretty good. I�
��m proud of myself considering most of the time, it’s hard to talk in complete sentences around him.
“You definitely provide the entertainment.”
I reach out and smack his arm, surprising myself. Wow. When did I become so good with boys? “Whatever.”
He turns and starts walking through the woods. I file in beside him, running different sentences through my head like crazy, vetoing all the really lame ones. Okay, so maybe I’m not good with boys yet, but I’m working on it.
Pretty soon the sound of our feet shuffling through the leaves starts echoing so loudly I fear I might go insane. I say the first thing that pops into my head. “What’s your last class? You always seem to get home early and today, you beat me down here.”
He shrugs again. It’s like his trademark or something.
“Open period.”
There’s more to it than that. The only people who have open periods are those who have enough credits to graduate without them. Usually that’s saved for the honor roll kids who took extra credits during the first few years. No offense to Caleb, but he doesn’t strike me as the type. My tongue is begging me to ask, but I don’t. Didn’t need a secret decoder ring to figure out the topic is closed for him.
I wrack my brain for something else to say a little disappointed he took the wind out of my sails, when I remember what I had wanted to tell him the other day. “I got a job! Tonight’s my first night.” Gabe pops into my head. Oh, and this really cute guy might come and see me! Somehow, I didn’t think Caleb would care about that and for some reason; I don’t want him to know anyway.
Caleb turns and squints as if confused. “You sound happy ‘bout that.”
“Um, hello? Of course I’m happy about it. I’ll be making money, get to prove to my mom that…” Umm, I need to hit a dead end of that one, “that I can handle it. This is a big deal for me. For Mom, too. This is a good thing, Caleb.” Caleb. Caleb. His name feels good on my tongue.
He laughs. “If you say so. Hope you didn’t do this because of what I said, though.”
“No.” I’m pretty sure it’s not cool to lie to your dream guy, but I’m trying to save face. He’s looking a little sick to his stomach that I might do something he said. A little bit of my excitement cracks. I thought he’d understand. “Things are different for me. Like I told you…my mom, she’s totally overprotective. This is for, like, freedom or something.” I shrug. “Maybe it’s kind of stupid, but…”
Caleb stops walking and grabs my hand. Engage overreaction. My whole body tingles. It’s like I feel him everywhere.
“Hey, I didn’t mean that you’re stupid. It’s pretty cool you got a job.” He pulls his hand away and starts walking.
Hello? That’s it? A guy can’t just grab a girl’s hand and walk away. Not when she has a secret crush on him. And what’s with the whole walking away thing anyway? How can he say something like that and pretend it didn’t happen? And guys say girls are hard to understand? Yeah, right.
Or maybe I’m just upset because I miss his touch. The feel of his warm hand snaked around mine. How it spread up my arm and throughout my body. I bite my cheeks. I just held Caleb freakin’ Evan’s hand!
“What are you smiling at?” His voice sounds a little gruff.
Oops. Looks like I didn’t bit my cheeks hard enough. “I…don’t…know?” Nice. Real creative, Abbs.
He chuckles.
Well, at least I make him laugh. That’s a good thing, right?
We’re almost through the woods by now, which means our walk is almost over. I really want to slow my pace, but the last thing I want is to risk being late for my first day of work.
“So, where ya working?”
Oh! He started the conversation for the first time today. This is looking up. “Sampson’s Diner. I’m bussing tables. I went to that tree after I got it so I could tell you, but you never showed. Then, I ran into this guy--” I stop dead when I realize what I just did. Great. He’s going to think I’m a stalker or something!
Caleb stops walking too. The lines of his face are hard as he scowls at me. “You what?”
Oh no! He does think I’m a stalker! “I just…I didn’t mean to be all weird or anything. I wanted to tell you about the job since we’d talked about my proving I didn’t need a babysitter and all that. Sorry if--” I cut off. Sorry if what? I didn’t know what to say.
Caleb gives me another one of his confused looks. “Huh? I don’t mind you telling me about the job, Kitten.” He shakes his head like he’s irritated by his own words, but I’m in too much of a trance because he called me Kitten again.
“I’m just curious about who you saw in the woods, that’s all. It’s usually pretty lonely around here.” He’s looking around like he expects someone else to be there.
I kind of forget about the name thing and wonder why he’s lonely. Is he not close with his dad? “Um, some guy named Gabe. He’s new in town and we ran into each other. He’s pretty cool though. He walked me home.”
We reach the stop sign where I’d stopped with Gabe and Caleb both on the days they walked me home. I stop again. Going any closer risks Mom seeing him. I’d never live it down if mom gave one of them a vampire lecture or something. I clap my hands together. “Well, thanks for walking me home.” Could I be any lamer?
He ignores me and asks, “How are you getting to work?” He’s looking around like he’s expecting something.
“My mom’s car.”
Caleb nods his head. “Good. Be careful, okay? I’m not sure if Cavanaugh and her shadows will give you a hard time again and…” he spaces off for a second, obviously running over the words in his head. “There’s just weird shit. You never know, so yeah…be careful.”
My pulse flutters. I want to jump up and down screaming, he likes me, he likes me! He must, right? In some way at least, if he’s worried. “I will.” I turn to walk away, but Caleb grabs my hand again.
“Meet me here in the morning around 7:30 and I’ll walk you to school.”
Aaaand, here’s the heart attack I’ve feared lately. He wants to walk me to school? I nod yes, not trusting my voice. It isn’t until he walks away that I really think about what he said. I turn and watch him go. See that back of his head as he shakes it and runs a hand through his hair. All I can think about is Caleb is coming completely out of his way to meet me, only to have to turn around and backtrack to walk me to school.
Sigh.
***
I ride a Caleb high for the first three hours of my shift. I see his face while I wipe down tables, remember his laugh when a male customer laughs and when someone grabs my wrist as I walk by, I immediately think of the feel of his warm, calloused hand. Rough hands are hot. Who would have thought?
And then he walks in. Not Caleb, but Gabe, and it’s pretty strange, because his smile kind of pushes Caleb’s to the background. They’re playing tug-o-war inside me, fighting for control of my thoughts.
I guess that’s what happens with a girl suddenly gets the attention of two boys. Lucky me! I think…
My lips stretch into a smile when I see he’s wearing the same coat from the other day. Can he smell me on it the way I smelled him? Probably not since I only wore it for a few minutes. My heart jumps a little when he sits in the empty booth beside the one I’m cleaning, while saying a little thanks to God that I talked Mom out of driving me to work and drinking coffee in the diner until I get off.
“Hey,” he says and I’m embarrassed to admit it makes me tingly.
“Hey.”
“Having a good first day at work?”
I set a cup into the dish bin. “Oh yeah. Especially all the dirty dishes.” My hands never stop clearing the table while I talk to him, not willing to risk getting in trouble my first day at work. Which is a bummer, because I want nothing more than to give him my complete attention. “Are you liking Karma so far?” It is a totally lame question because who could enjoy this town?
“Yeah, except I’m pretty bored. It’s hard not knowing man
y people. I’ve looked forward to seeing you.”
I drop a plate and it makes a loud clanking sound. Go me. Not. How does he say things like that without a hint of shyness? I decide to give it a try because this is the new me, right? “I’m happy to see you, too.” I glance around the room and see Liz Sampson watching us. Disappointment buries its claws inside me. Great. My job is already screwing up my newfound social life. “I can’t really talk though. I don’t want to get in trouble.” It wasn’t as if the restaurant was busy or anything. Besides Gabe there were only three other tables occupied.
Gabe’s gaze shifts behind me. I don’t have to look to know he spotted Liz too. He watches her for a minute before looking back at me. “I understand. What time do you get off? Maybe we can hang-out.”
My pulse rate sky-rockets. Oh. My. God. Is he asking me on a date? No. Dates take plans right? Obviously I have no experience here. Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m even annoying myself right now. Thankfully he can’t hear what’s going on in my head. “I…” Can’t…
Excitement drains out of me like all the old people in here drain Liz Sampson’s coffee pot. I can’t go out with him after work unless I want Mom out scouring the streets with a vamp-killing tools. I’d be the only girl in the world whose mom stakes the boy on their first date. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Lots of homework to do.”
Gabe looks behind me again. Did I upset him? Does he think I don’t want to hang-out?
“Abby.” Liz calls from the kitchen door. “When you’re done with that table, I want you to spend the rest of the night in back getting caught up on the dishes.”
“Excuse me. Can I get my check?” One of the customers asks Liz.
I hurry with the rest of the dishes realizing the job I was really excited about might actually put a cramp in my blooming social life. Who would have thought? “I have to go. Um, I’m really glad you came in.”
Gabe nods at me, but doesn’t reply. I sigh as I pick up the dish bin and head to the kitchen. It’s really weird how the kitchen is set up because the dishwasher is in the back. I will have to haul all the dishes from the font of the kitchen before I can wash them. I take a couple bins back before the cook, Richard, waddles up to me. I bite back a smile. He’s a tiny guy with a big butt and equally large feet.