‘I can do it!’ Nicole piped in.
Caleb gave her a serious look. ‘You might break a nail though, Nic. Better leave it to the big boys,’ he provoked. She stomped on his foot. Hard. As they chased each other around the back yard I noticed Noah watching Bane irritably. Bane was looking at me. Our eyes met for a split second before I looked away self-consciously. Noah probably assumed there was something going on between us, and I was so annoyed by the idea that I went to help Aunt Lily with the roast.
After dinner Noah excused himself and went for a walk on his own outside and Liam and Caleb exchanged knowing glances. They were waiting to see if I would follow. Then when I didn’t, Caleb glared at me and drummed his fingers on the table. This was getting ridiculous. Nothing was going on, with either of them! Irritated at all of the boys of the world in general, I poked my tongue out at Caleb, dumped my plate in the sink and went out to find my friend.
He was waiting for me at our usual spot by the river, tearing leaves from a dead gum tree branch and tossing them one by one into the water. All the lovely spring rain we’d had was now just a memory and the river was a pathetic shadow of its former glory. Slimy broken logs and clumps of muddy leaves clogged up the edges where the water had receded. It could change so quickly. Tonight the music sounded calmer, as if the river was too tired and hot to cry anymore and just wanted to sulk for a while. Noah looked a bit sulky too. He had dark circles under his eyes; the week had been a tough one working out in the bush every day in such scorching weather, and the nights were so hot it was difficult for anyone to sleep. Sadly I was growing accustomed to that.
‘How are you doing, Noah?’ I asked, sitting down and leaning comfortably against him. ‘You got better results than you were expecting. Have you made up your mind about what you want to study next year?’
‘Not really. I think I might study by correspondence.’
That was a shock. I knew how much he’d been looking forward to going to the city. He’d spent years talking about his plans to share a house with a bunch of mates and get a part-time job in a local pub.
Picking up the end of my messy braid, he twirled a loose curl around his finger. It was a familiar gesture. ‘I’m a bit reluctant to leave Nicole here with just Mum and Dad. She needs someone around who she can talk to, and the three of them can’t run the farm without help.’
Lame excuse. Harry, Aunt Lily and I had always done okay and our place was bigger. Much bigger, in fact. I knew that overdeveloped sense of responsibility would get him into trouble one day. Still, he was a big boy now and didn’t need me to talk him into leaving. Especially given that the thought of him going off without me was so depressing. In fact I felt so selfishly relieved that he might stay another year that I couldn’t think of what to say. As a supportive friend, was I supposed to sound pleased or disappointed for him? So we sat quietly for a while. Until Noah found the courage to ask what had clearly been bugging him all week.
‘So, um … was I right? About Bane?’
I nodded as vaguely as I could. How much was I allowed to tell him? Luckily he seemed to be more annoyed than curious.
‘It’s brave of you to take him in after everything he’s put you through over the years. He healed your bite the other day, didn’t he?’
I slipped off my shoes and perched cross-legged on the rock. ‘Yeah. I don’t pretend to understand how it all works but apparently he gets sick if we’re too far apart, and he has to heal me when I get injured.’ I showed him my hands. My nails were still as raggedly broken any rural kid’s, but my skin was totally unblemished. Even my old burn scar from the wood heater was gone. ‘Sadly for him I never was very good with a hammer; he gets really dizzy each time he has to repair my thumb.’ That made Noah grin a little.
‘I suppose that explains why he watches you all the time. He can’t seem to take his eyes off you.’ He was glaring at the end of my braid as if he was furious with it. ‘Has he tried to kiss you yet?’
‘What? No! Of course not. He hates me, remember? I literally make him sick after all.’
Noah looked up at me hopefully. ‘Then you and he are not …’
I glared at him in exasperation. ‘Noah. Nothing’s happened. As if he would be interested in a lanky farm girl like me. Be serious.’
He pinned me with his bright green gaze. ‘You’re not just some farm girl, Lainie. You should have heard what some of the guys at school used to say about you when they thought I couldn’t hear them.’ Flinching his eyes away, he cut me off just as I opened my mouth to ask. ‘Actually, no, you should never ever hear that. Forget I said anything.’ Wavy blond hair masked his face as he turned away to stare at the river. With incredible self-control, I chose not to pursue the topic.
‘How are things going with Tessa by the way? Made any, um, progress?’
‘Nothing I want to tell you about,’ he snapped primly, as if he hadn’t just been prying into my own personal life.
‘Fine. Just let me know if you need me to cover for you with your mum.’
‘Actually, Mum’s been great. She adores Tess.’
That was a surprise, remembering the wobbly she’d chucked at school over Claudia. We watched the river slip past for a long time while I wondered what Tessa had done to win her over.
Lainie, there is always a choice.
Standing stupidly in my rubber gloves, I fretted at the note scrawled on Harry’s fridge. He’d been gone for a few weeks and the cottage was starting to get a bit funky. Aunt Lily was giving the bathroom a bit of a scrub while I took kitchen duty, but all I’d done so far was stare at the fridge. What was that supposed to mean? Did I have a choice whether or not to take up the role of a Cherub? Surely not. The sorts of compulsive behaviours that Bane and I had experienced were not the sort of things you could just choose not to participate in.
If he knew he was just going to leave me here and go off to Eden, then why couldn’t he leave me a more useful message? His one line phrase was about as helpful as a Chihuahua rounding up cattle. Irritably I disinfected the sink and threw out the few items of food that he’d left behind. There had to be a way to get into the Garden, somehow.
A couple of hours later Bane found me in the shopping centre trying to push my sweaty hair from my eyes while carrying an arm load of bags and a red icy-pole. He’d spent the day visiting his mum and Aunt Lily had dropped me in town for some last minute Christmas shopping. We hadn’t even needed to arrange where to meet, which was handy. He reached out as if to tuck my hair behind my ears but then thought better of it and relieved me of some of the bags instead. I bought him his own icy-pole as a reward for his gallantry. We dumped the shopping in his car and then headed towards the park. It was always a bit cooler by the river.
‘How’s your mum?’ I asked, kicking off my thongs and walking with tiny careful steps along a massive tree that had fallen across the river. Icy bliss numbed my feet and ankles as I dangled them into the lazy current. Unsure as to how much information he might have shared with his mother about his link to me, I was fishing for information.
‘Great. She’s very happy with me, actually. I just bought her a new portable air-conditioner. I’ve never earned much money before so it felt nice to buy something for her.’
I wouldn’t have considered that what we paid him was ‘much money’ either, but I suppose it helped that we were feeding and housing him as well.
‘How does she feel about you working on the farm?’
He peered at me sideways through his long lashes. ‘You mean, did I tell her that I live with a heavenly creature who is a sentinel of the Garden of Eden?’
I blushed a little. He was learning to read me way too easily. And ‘heavenly creature’? Good grief.
‘I haven’t said anything,’ he assured me, as he took his own shoes off and joined me on the tree. ‘And given that I dropped out of school and had to sit my exams in the back corner of t
he library at Horsham Secondary College with all the other students wondering who I was and why I always looked so green, I think she’s just happy that I’m working at all.’
I felt miserable as I looked out across the shallow river. I really had messed up his life and no free icy-poles were going to make up for that.
‘Perhaps when Harry gets back we can try spending some time together in the city,’ I suggested. ‘I could just take a few water drums with me. If it works out we could try renting flats that are close together and still … study.’ Awkwardly I realised I had never asked him what his plans for next year would have been.
He stared pensively across the glimmering water, taking his time to decide what to say. ‘Actually, I was planning on joining the army. That’s not possible now.’
‘Oh! Did you really do that badly? I thought you could still be a regular army guy without VCE at all. Just not an officer. Or you could sit your exams again next year,’ I encouraged. ‘I mean, it isn’t that you aren’t smart enough or anything.’
He looked me in the eye. ‘My results were fine. That isn’t the problem.’
Oh yeah. I think the army officials would notice if I had to stay within an hour of his location at all times. What a mess.
‘I’m so sorry, Ben. About everything. I treated you so badly when we were at school and now I’ve ruined all your career plans as well.’
‘You treated me badly? You weren’t the one setting lockers on fire and stealing homework,’ he pointed out, his graceful fingers plucking at a piece of bark.
‘That’s what happened to my geography assignment? I knew I hadn’t just lost it somewhere!’ I started poking him accusingly with my icy-pole stick.
‘It was my divinely appointed task to be the Bane of your life, don’t blame me!’ He laughed as he pinned my elbows to my sides with one arm and relieved me of my weapon with the other. I slumped in his arms.
‘You caught that, did you? I’m so sorry,’ I said again, losing the precious moment of frivolity.
‘Everyone caught that, Lainie. Even the teachers picked up on it. They didn’t even notice they were calling me that too. I don’t mind, you know.’ He glanced away. ‘It does fit.’ His arm was still holding me loosely and when he looked back at me, his astonishing blue-grey eyes trapped me like a leaf in a cobweb. ‘At least I know the reason why I did those things now,’ he continued. ‘You have no idea how much of a relief that is.’ Beneath his confident demeanour, I could still sense his nervousness, but he didn’t back away. ‘You and Lily have been unbelievably generous, letting me stay with you.’ This time he did move the hair back from my face. ‘I have a better understanding of who I am because of you. I’m happier now than I can ever remember … aside from maybe the Huntsman spider incident,’ he qualified. ‘You … you aren’t the person I thought you were.’
Sparkly little shivers ran down my spine at his touch. ‘Well that’s hardly surprising,’ I said. ‘I’m not the person I thought I was either. In fact, I’m not even the species I thought I was.’
His chuckle held the same subtle playfulness I’d glimpsed on those rare occasions when he forgot to be him. I liked it, and realised that he wasn’t the person I thought I knew either. He was so different when he was happy. I was getting lost in his closeness, and I found myself wanting to get closer so I pulled away determinedly. I wouldn’t do this to him too. Happy or not, he should still be left with some free will, not just hook up with me because it was supposedly ‘pre-destined’. As Harry had said, there was always a choice.
He let me go, and the usual broodiness clouded his eyes once again.
Chapter 21
Gasping panicked breaths, I jumped right out of bed before I even realised I was awake, tripping over the denim shorts I had left on the floor. I looked at the clock. It was 4.25am and something was very, very wrong. I dressed so fast I whacked my elbow on the corner of my desk twice, and then headed down the hall to wake the others, but Bane was already up.
‘What’s the problem?’ he asked in a husky voice. ‘I just woke up needing to find you. Why are you up?’
Rubbing crusty sleep tears out of my eyes and trying to focus, I stumbled into the kitchen. ‘There are people where they shouldn’t be. Just a couple of them, but they’re up to something. I … saw them. I need to check it out.’
Just then the phone rang. Aunt Lily emerged from her bedroom looking rumpled and confused as I lunged for the phone. It was Noah.
‘Bushfire, Lainie! Northwest of here. Liam and Caleb are here so Dad’s sending me over to you. We’ve already called the CFA.’ I could hear the sound of a dirt bike starting up. Was he riding and phoning me at the same time? I glanced out of the kitchen window. I couldn’t see anything but blackness, broken by a few washed out stars, but that didn’t mean much.
‘Can you help Aunt Lily with the generator?’ I asked him. ‘Ben and I need to take a look.’ I couldn’t think of any good reason to give him as to why I was abandoning my aunt and heading straight into the bush during a fire so I just hung up. All I knew was that I had to go. After I explained what was happening to Aunt Lily, she handed me the bushfire pack that was always ready by the back door. It was a backpack that contained water bottles, a battery operated two-way radio, a fireproof blanket, a first-aid kit and torches.
‘I know you have to go, Lainie, but please try to keep some common sense while you’re out there,’ she pleaded, looking vulnerable in her cotton summer nightie. Nodding as confidently as I could, I kissed her on the cheek and ran out of the house. Bane was still trying to pull on his second boot as he stumbled out to the shed to catch up to me.
The shed was full of birds. Every rafter fluttered with wings fighting for a place. They knew what was coming and were seeking out whatever shelter they could find. They were much more sensible than me. After a quick check that the petrol tank was full, I wheeled my dirt bike out from behind the ute and started it up just as Bane handed me my helmet. I hoped the spare one would fit him.
As soon as he was settled behind me I took off across the paddock towards the track to the state park. At least he hadn’t argued about who was driving. I knew where I needed to be and I didn’t have time to give directions.
The ride was torture. It was just as well we’d spent so much time exploring the area recently because tearing through the bush in the dark at full pelt was not very OH&S friendly. And yet somehow I could sense exactly where to go. Sweaty palms made it difficult to keep control at times but Bane’s arms were locked around my waist reassuringly. When he tugged on my sleeve to make me veer slightly, I realised he was using his sense of threat to me to guide us past hidden obstacles, and at one point he frantically pushed my head down from behind just in time to avoid a sharp low hanging branch. He never put me off balance, or asked me to slow down. My heart raced as if trying to set the pace, calling me to move faster. Loose rocks and dust scattered behind us in a cloud of petrol fumes while the wind gusted through the branches above us.
Three quarters of a stretched out hour later we finally reached the top of the ridge that overlooked my valley. The sun should have risen by then, but everything was still dark due to the fat cloud of smoke blanketing the world. The only thing visible was an eerie glow from behind the next hill, a little to the north. The air was so sharp that it hurt to breathe. The fire was definitely headed our way, and despite the length of time it had taken us to reach the ridge, I knew that the fire would race its way back to our farm much faster. Worse than even that horrific thought, however, was the realisation that the valley below me was about to be decimated.
The wind whipped the trees into a wild frenzy as if they knew what was coming and were trying to uproot and run away. They had more chance of leaving than I did, and I was terrified. Or was I? My brain was filled with nightmarish scenarios and logical arguments for turning tail and running, but my body felt strangely calm.
‘Ben. P
lease. You can’t stay. At least head back down to the caves. Please?’
He just stood next to me and took my hand in his. It was way too late to get away anyhow. Fire travelled quickly when it got to steep inclines, and the bush was incredibly dry. It would reach the far side of the valley in a matter of minutes. The top of a hill was one of the worst places to be. And yet I felt his strong hand gripping mine, soothing, reassuring. Which was strange considering he couldn’t even watch me clean the gutters out without getting snippy.
Looking down at my valley I thought about the devastation that was about to occur and began to feel deeply angry. The one pocket of truly undisturbed land that I was custodian of was about to be torn apart by violent winds and flames. Already I could see the fire front writhing its way towards us like a red glowing snake, searching for prey to devour in the dim light. I imagined it burning its way down, seeking a way into Eden so it could swallow it up, and the thought was so distressing that an uncanny sense of purpose wrung the fear right out of me. I knew what I wanted to do and I suddenly felt like it was the most obvious thing in the world, so I closed my eyes and started to whisper. I had no idea what I was saying, I just pleaded with the world to listen to my request. Words were pouring out from my lips that I had never heard before. I didn’t know what they meant and yet at the same time I did. Before long I was shocked to feel tears streaming down my face as I begged, commanded and authorised. I thought about Eden, and all that it promised, and I cared.
Gradually I felt a sort of … cool heaviness press in from the sky to the south. I pulled on it with my words and with my spirit, but it was so heavy that I felt as if my heart was made from brittle clay and would just shatter under the weight of it at any moment.
I risked it anyway.
Standing entranced on the edge of the cliff, I lost all track of time. I could have been there for minutes or years. Desperately I raised my voice from a whisper to a cry, and then to a shout until my throat was raw and slowly, slowly, I felt the heavy cloud mass fight its way across the sky towards us. Electricity stabbed me viciously as the cooler moist air clashed with the warm wind. It felt like the lightning was passing right through my body as I struggled to keep hold of the storm, pulling it with agonising violence through the high pressure system. Thunder rattled my bones at exactly the same time as the lightning bolts struck me, but my ears didn’t catch the sounds until seconds later. I was inside the heart of the storm itself, but at the same time the storm was too far away. Terrified, I knew I would never be able to bring it fast enough before the cold air was overwhelmed by the desolate heat from the north. My fear fed on itself until doubt crept its way back into my mind. What did I think I was doing?
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