***
“I’m sorry,” Thomas apologized over the holopad. “I looked all over the district but I couldn’t find him anywhere.”
“You checked the barracks again?” Selaris asked. “And none of the others had seen him either?”
“They hadn’t. It’s like he just disappeared.”
“He couldn’t have left the city,” she snapped. “All the ships are still docked. He has to be around here somewhere.”
Thomas’s face wilted. “I know; I’m sorry. I just meant that he—”
“It’s all right,” Selaris whispered, letting out a frustrated sigh. None of this was Thomas’s fault. As usual, he’d done everything she’d asked of him. “Thank you for looking. I guess I’ll try again tomorrow.”
“I can help,” he said. “If you want, I mean. I don’t have to…”
She smiled tiredly. “I’ll give you a call or stop by in the morning. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Selaris flicked off her holopad and set it back down on the table. It had been almost nine hours now since the incident on the concourse, and she hadn’t seen Markus since. The Council had sent out their own teams to try and find him, too, but with his powers he could hide more or less indefinitely if he really wanted to.
The problem was that she didn’t understand why he would do that. He had to realize how guilty this made him look. If he really had disabled Vale’s suppression collar, then the Council needed to hear his explanation…but instead of defending his decision, he’d simply gone silent.
She sighed again as she flicked off the lights and slipped into her nightgown. She refused to believe that Markus had caused any harm intentionally. Someone had obviously arranged the ambush, but unfortunately it seemed like the culprit had covered his or her tracks pretty well. Revask was the obvious candidate with Tavore a close second, but as often as Selaris disagreed with them politically, she had a hard time imagining either of them going this far just to make a point.
Maybe that was just her naivety talking, though. That’s certainly what Foln would have told her if he were here. With the Mire effectively quarantined in the city, the naysayers on the Council had gotten exactly what they wanted. And as for Vale…
It was still hard to understand why Markus had brought that woman here in the first place. Vale hadn’t defected with him four years ago, so what made this time any different? Did he honestly believe that being in this city with all these whining aliens was going to make her sympathize with their cause? Keeping her in a cell here would have been one thing—at least the Spiders wouldn’t be able to track her down in astral space—but giving her free reign across the city had been a terrible idea. And it had come back to haunt them almost immediately.
Selaris shook her head. It wasn’t easy for her to admit it when Markus made a mistake. He’d done so much for them—for her—that criticizing him at all made her feel ungrateful. Here, though, there was no way around it. He’d made a grievous blunder, and she could only think of one explanation.
Markus still loved this woman. He must have convinced himself that bringing Vale here would give him another chance to be with her. He’d only spoken briefly of their past together, but it was obvious that they’d been more than just partners at one point. Just thinking about it drove Selaris mad. What could he possibly see in some Convectorate drone? Especially when there was someone else right in front of him, someone who actually wanted to be with him…
Shaking her head, she did her best to bury the thought as she slid beneath her covers. She needed to be focused and calm when she slept to prevent another episode. Doctor Varm had given her some sedatives, but she’d taken enough pills for two lifetimes already. Besides, she knew she could do this on her own. She ran through the breathing exercises Markus had taught her and tried to concentrate on something else…
It didn’t work. All she could think about was how none of this would have happened if it not for her. The alliance with the Mire, Markus, Vale…all of it was because her father had been willing to risk everything to protect his fragile little girl.
He’d argued to the Council that the alliance with the Mire was a tactical one, not a personal one. He’d insisted that they would eventually have to take the battle to the Convectorate, and that the Mire’s weapons and resources would allow them to do just that. But months later, when Selaris had been freed from her coma and his Landai’s Syndrome had taken a turn for the worst, she’d felt the truth in his thoughts.
He never would have allied with Foln if not for Markus. He’d heard of the infamous Convectorate defector, and he’d known that if anyone would be able to help his daughter, it would be a trained Spider. Now he was dead, and the city was on the brink of a civil war due to an alliance that few in the city wanted. And all of it was because of her.
Selaris pressed her eyes shut and tried in vain to halt the tears. In her darker moments, she wished that Markus would have never come here. She’d have died, most likely, or at the very least continued to waste away in a near coma as her nightmares slowly drove her insane. But one life was a small price to pay to save so many, and for everything the city had given her, she’d returned almost nothing. She had been a constant drain, both of her father’s time and of the city’s resources. None of the others would vocalize it openly, but she knew they felt the same way. They still saw her as a helpless child vaulted into a position of power and responsibility by name rather than accomplishment. The other humans wanted to believe in her, but their hope wouldn’t last forever. What had she ever done for them?
She tried to reach up and wipe the wetness from her eyes…at which point she realized she could no longer move. In desperation she tried again, but her arms were frozen helplessly at her sides. Her breath caught in her throat, and it was all she could do not to suffocate.
It was happening again. She could feel the images seeping into her mind, and she knew that soon she’d be bombarded with the thoughts and memories of thousands of alien minds. She started to fight back, to shield herself against it, but then she paused. What if everything would just be easier this way? What if she could just disappear and not be a burden to anyone else again…?
Selaris?
She gasped and sat up as her eyes shot open. The nightmares faded before they could grab hold, and she was once again in control. But she could still feel another mind stretching out across the city to touch hers…
Markus?
Yes, his mental voice came back. Are you all right?
I am now. Where are you? Everyone’s been looking for you.
I know. Stay there—I’ll be there shortly.
He severed the link, and Selaris glanced down to inspect herself. She was covered in sweat, and her sheets were soaked. A quick glance at the wall chrono said she’d been out for almost two hours already. And without Markus’s intervention, she might have been out a lot longer, possibly permanently.
She scowled and clenched her teeth. It was hard to believe, but she’d been on the verge of letting herself go. Despite all that she’d been through over the last two years, she’d never once been tempted to give in like that. But tonight…
Something was wrong. She was upset about what was happening, certainly, but not like this. It was almost like someone else had been trying to convince her to give in and let down her mental barriers. She could still feel it even now at the edge of her consciousness, not a mind, precisely, but definitely a presence. And she had absolutely no idea what it was.
Hopping out of bed, Selaris slipped into the washroom and splashed some cold water over her face. Her gray eyes were as bloodshot as they normally were after an episode like this, but all things considered it certainly could have been worse. Still, as an extra precaution she popped down one of her anxiety pills before changing clothes and taking a seat in the greeting room.
She felt Markus approaching just minutes later, and she stretched out and telekinetically flicked the security keypad to unlock the door. It hissed op
en, and his familiar tall, dark figure stepped inside.
“Sorry it’s so late,” he said. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“No,” Selaris replied softly. “I almost slipped into a nightmare again, but this time…this time it was different.”
He strode over and sat down next to her. “Different how?”
“I’m not sure I can explain it, but I almost felt like there was someone else inside my head with me, encouraging me to give in and shut down.” She shook her head and buried her face in his chest. “Everything has been worse since I touched that crystal the other day. I haven’t been sleeping well, and I’ve had trouble concentrating.”
Markus ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “I never should have let you link with it. It’s just another of many stupid mistakes I’ve made recently.”
Selaris tilted up her chin so she could look at him. “Where have you been all day? The Council’s been scouring the city trying to find you.”
“I know. I couldn’t let them.”
Her brow furrowed. “So you did disable the collar.”
“Yes, but it’s not what you think. When Grier warned me that Firth wasn’t responding, I knew something was wrong, and so I reached out to Jen telepathically. It was the only way I could contact her quickly enough.”
“And she took the opportunity to kill two people,” Selaris murmured.
“The whole thing was a setup. Someone knocked out Firth and then herded her right into that group of thugs knowing she’d have to defend herself.”
“It does seem suspicious, but there’s no proof. Even if there was I’m not sure it would matter. The damage is done.”
Markus nodded. “That’s why I was hiding. I knew they’d pin it all on me, and then both Jen and I would end up in a cell. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“I might have been able to protect you if you’d come forward right away. Zalix and Urekal are still on our side, more or less. They weren’t taken in by any of it.”
“I’m not sure they were intended to be,” he said, sitting back up and stepping over to the closest window. “You’ve seen the crowds gathering in the Agora already. Revask has spent so long whipping the aliens into a rage that all it’s going to take is a small nudge to push them over the edge. They’re convinced the Mire is trying to conquer the city, and they want blood.”
“You think Revask is the one who set all this up?” she asked.
“He’s certainly the logical choice, given how vocal he’s been,” Markus mused. “For all his posturing, though, I find it hard to believe he actually wants open violence. Rakashi politics are all about subtlety and manipulation, not bloodshed. Besides, he can’t run the city without humans, and he knows that. A coup gets him nothing without the support of our people.”
Selaris pressed a hand against her forehead and turned away. “We have to do something to calm everyone down. Maybe if you try speaking to them, it will help.”
“I’m afraid we’re already past that point,” he murmured. “The bottom line is that I should never have brought Jen here. I should have known better, and I’m sorry. You have enough on your plate without me piling this on.”
“It’s all right,” she soothed, smiling up at him. “Maybe if we just leave her in prison for a while, everything will blow over.”
Markus shook his head. “I’m not letting them keep her in stasis just for defending herself, and the longer she’s here the more of a rallying point she’ll become for the aliens.”
Selaris’s smile melted into a frown. “So what are you going to do?”
“There’s only one real choice,” he said solemnly. “I need to leave…and I’m going to take Jen with me.”
“Leave?” she gasped. “For good?”
“Just for a while. I’m not really sure how long, to be honest, but things here will be a lot easier to manage with the two of us gone.”
“But…” Selaris trailed off and shook her head. “You really think she’s still going to help us after what just happened?”
“I don’t know,” Markus admitted as he sat back down again. “I spoke with her partner in his cell earlier today. He sounds like he’s sympathetic to us already, and I suspect he wants to convince her too.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “You ‘suspect?’ That doesn’t sound very certain to me. You’re willing to risk everything based on one talk with him?”
“I’m not risking much. I’m leaving the collar on, and I’m not worried about Thexyl.” He bit down on his lower lip. “If I can’t convince her, then it’s up to me to deal with it, not a bunch of biased councilors. No matter what else happens, I won’t let her return to the Widow or jeopardize what we have here. Trust me.”
“I do,” Selaris said softly. “I just think this is a bad idea.”
He grunted. “Yeah, well, I’m full of those lately. I figure I might as well go for the trifecta of stupid.”
“You still love her, don’t you?”
Markus blinked. “What?”
“You love her,” she repeated. “That’s why you want to try to save her. That’s what this is all about.”
He rubbed a hand across his face. “Selaris, I—”
“I’m not a child, you know,” she snapped. “And I’m not blind, either. You care for her, and you’ve convinced yourself that you can save her somehow.”
“I don’t love her,” he insisted, “but she was my friend. And deep down she knows how evil the Convectorate is. It’s just going to take time to work through all that conditioning. I’d hoped I would be able to do it here, but I was wrong…and I’m sorry.”
Selaris shook her head. “I don’t understand. The other potentials here….you could teach them, turn them into something great. They need you.” She swallowed heavily. “I need you.”
“I’ve learned more from you over the past two months than vice versa,” he reminded her with a tight smile. “I’ve taught you everything I can.”
“That’s not true and you know it. You could teach us how to create a psychic web…you could show us how to track down other Flies, and we could spread out across the galaxy to find them. We could build our own army—we don’t even need a stupid cure!”
Markus stared at her in silence for a long moment before gently rubbing his hand across her cheek. “It won’t be that simple.”
She slapped him away. “Don’t patronize me. I said I’m not a child anymore—not that anyone seems to believe it. They all think I’m daddy’s crazy little princess, so damaged that she can barely function on her own. Then they stick me on the Council out of pity.”
Selaris turned and stomped to the other side of the room, trying madly to ignore the tears streaking down her face. Breaking down right in front of him certainly wasn’t going to help her argument.
“Your father told me something before he died,” Markus said softly. “He said that he knew that one way or another, reaching out to the Mire would ultimately doom the city.”
She pivoted back around to face him. “What?”
“He knew that it would was the first step in letting the big secret out. He knew that eventually the Tarreen would find this place and destroy it.”
Selaris tried to swallow but nothing happened. “But he did it anyway to save me. He knew you were the only one who might be able to help me.”
Markus nodded. “I wasn’t sure if he’d ever told you that or not.”
“He didn’t,” she said. “But he was thinking about it before he died, and I…” She closed her eyes. “I always assumed he was spending his last few minutes regretting the decision. I wasn’t worth the sacrifice.”
“He believed you were,” Markus told her. “He never wavered on that. He recognized that you and the other Flies were the best hope for humanity’s future. Hiding on this rock would only take us so far. Eventually we were going to have to take the fight to the enemy, and he believed you would be the one to do it. I think he was right.”
“Why?” she
asked. “I haven’t done anything. I’m a mess!”
“Because when this war eventually comes, having a bunch of psychics isn’t going to be enough. We’re going to need to create a lasting alliance with the other sentient species of the galaxy. Tearing down the Convectorate and replacing them with another Sarafan isn’t the answer. We’ll need a leader, a face for our movement…and you could be it.”
“Me? The other councilors here don’t even respect me. They think I’m just a pawn.”
“Foln might think that, but the others don’t,” Markus told her. “You’re young, but you’re still a Gantrell. Even aliens who hated the Sarafan came to respect that name. You’re the last link to one of the few decent things about our heritage, and that’s something worth saving.”
Selaris balled her hands into fists. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I need you here. Please.”
He touched her chin and angled it up until she was looking at him. “You haven’t needed me for a long time now. I’m no politician, and I’m certainly not a diplomat. To most of these people I’ll never be anything more than the face of their enemy.”
“But…” she whispered. “I love you.”
Markus smiled and kissed her gently. “I know you do,” he whispered as he pulled away. “But trust me—I’m not worth it.”
“Isn’t that for me to decide?”
“Not today.”
He held her for a moment longer, then turned and headed for the door. He stopped when it slid open and glanced back over his shoulder.
“Please take care of Mira for me, if you would. In fact…it might be best if you just keep her. As it turns out I’m not much of an owner.”
“I think she prefers your place,” Selaris said softly. “Maybe I’ll see if I can get the lease transferred to her name instead.”
He smiled. “Thank you. And I’ll be back—I promise.”
“Markus?”
He stopped again and turned. “Yes?”
“I sincerely hope that you’re right about Vale.”
“Yeah,” he murmured. “So do I.”
The Spider and the Fly Page 34