by Iris Morland
“Did you even chew that before you swallowed?” said Carter, his smile warm and teasing.
“I’m starving,” she said through a mouthful of food. “I had oysters with Hayden…”
She trailed off, blushing furiously. God, she’d forgotten all about Hayden and their terrible date. And she had to film with him today. Her stomach twisted at the thought, and suddenly the pastry that had tasted so good was like ash in her mouth.
Fear curdled inside her, fear that Hayden would be petty enough to use her rejection of him against her. Memories of Glen and his retribution when she’d told him no came back with painful force.
The kettle whistled, but the sound barely registered. It was only when Carter began pouring them both a cup of tea that she realized she’d been far away.
“You look like you’re going to puke,” said Carter bluntly. He pushed the mug of tea toward her before setting a stool down next to her. “Sit before you faint.”
“I told you before: I never faint,” she grumbled. She sighed as she sat down. “And I’m not going to puke.”
Carter leaned on the large kitchen island, his forearms bulging. He bit into a bear claw with gusto. Lucy waited for him to ask more questions, but he munched on his pastry as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
She began to pick apart her cheese Danish until it was a pile of flaky crumbs. “Do you think I’m easy?” she blurted.
The expression on Carter’s face made her wish she hadn’t said anything.
“Never mind. Don’t answer that. It was a stupid question,” she said.
“It was a stupid question, because you’re the least easy woman I’ve ever met.” Carter snorted. “Easy? The fact I got into your pants is a small miracle. You acted like that shop was closed for business, ignoring whatever you were doing with what’s-his-face.”
She moaned. “God, I was so stupid, and now Hayden hates me. How are we going to keep working together?” She gripped her tea mug so hard her fingers hurt. “He could blackball me in Hollywood. One word in the right person’s ear—”
“Lucy.” Carter turned her so she faced him and tilted her chin up. “Do you regret what happened between us last night?” were his soft words.
Even though his touch was gentle, she could feel the strength in his fingers. “Of course not.”
“You never wanted Hayden?” His fingers gripped her chin—not enough to hurt, but enough that she couldn’t move.
“No,” she said, her voice breathy. “It was always you. I was just lying to myself.”
“Then if he somehow decides to be a petty piece of shit and spread rumors, you’ll have to fight back. He doesn’t get to do that to you because you told him no.”
Carter let go of her chin, and Lucy rested her head on his chest, his heartbeat a soothing rhythm against her ear.
“I almost quit acting, you know,” she said, closing her eyes. “The only reason I didn’t was because I got this role. And now look what happened.”
“Tell me.”
With a sigh, Lucy told Carter about Glen and how he’d made her life hell through all the months she’d worked at his theater. Carter said nothing, but she could feel the tension in his body as she spoke.
“I should’ve been tougher with him. If I’d told him from the start what he was doing wasn’t okay, he wouldn’t have kept trying. I led him on.” She was practically babbling at this point.
“No, babe.” Carter made her look up at him again. She caught her breath as she saw the barely restrained anger in his expression. “He was your boss and he took advantage of that. A real man doesn’t force himself on a woman. He was a sniveling jackass with a tiny dick.”
Lucy let out the breath she’d been holding. She didn’t know why it mattered so much, but having Carter defend her and tell her that what had happened with Glen wasn’t her fault meant more than she could say. A lump formed in her throat.
“I didn’t tell anyone about that,” she said softly, “not even my family. They’re already convinced I should go home. My brothers would’ve come down to LA and killed Glen.”
“I’m glad you didn’t tell them, because I’ll kill him myself.”
Lucy almost laughed, but it died in her throat when she realized Carter was serious. Her heart bubbled over, and she couldn’t stop herself from bringing his head down and kissing him.
His reaction was instantaneous: he thrust his tongue into her mouth, claiming her without apology. Heat sparked inside her, starting low in her belly.
“It wasn’t your fault,” said Carter as he brushed a lock of hair from her cheek. “And if Hayden tries anything, I’ll break his kneecaps.”
“I don’t generally advocate violence, but I wouldn’t mind seeing that. He was a dick to me last night.”
Carter growled, vowing revenge, but Lucy hushed him with another kiss. It was only when they heard footsteps outside the kitchen that they pulled apart.
“Go up to my room. I’ll follow you in a minute,” said Carter.
“Who says I want to go to your room?”
He smiled, that feral smile that made her heart stop. “I can fuck you here if you want. I’m not picky.”
“I think that’d be unsanitary.” Her words were breathless as she snagged a pastry and scampered upstairs before Carter made good on his threat.
Chapter Fourteen
Carter helped Lucy up the embankment until they both stood on the cliff that overlooked the sound. It was the highest point in Hazel Island—not Mount Everest, but enough of a hike to get his blood thrumming—and it was one of those perfect summer days that reminded you why you put up with the winter here in Washington State. Lucy inhaled deeply and took his arm.
Everything was emerald green, moss growing in pockets down the cliffside. Seagulls cawed and circled in the sky, a few skimming the water to catch unsuspecting fish. Without the clang of the city or the traffic, Carter could imagine this place was far away from everything that wanted to sink its claws into him. He could almost imagine his shoulder didn’t hurt or that this thing with Lucy could last beyond the summer.
“I could live here,” breathed Lucy as she entwined her fingers with his.
“Really?” He considered. “I think I’d get bored after a while.”
“I was raised in Fair Haven, so I’m used to small towns. I like them. Everyone knows you, you don’t have the traffic, the rent is affordable… nothing like LA. The first year I lived there, I thought I’d die if I drove on the highway.”
“All very practical points, little spitfire. Good thing I’m not worried about paying my rent.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Oh, lord your wealth over a poor peasant like me. How about you show me your bank balance while you’re at it?”
“I save that for the third date.” He smacked her ass, which made her squeal.
“I’m surprised you don’t do it first thing.” She widened her eyes. “Just in case you aren’t impressive in any other areas.”
“Brat.” That remark made him pick her up and swing her over his shoulder. She laughed between her protests as he carried her down the hill. She hardly weighed more than a hundred pounds, and as tiny as she was, he could’ve carried her back to Seattle if he’d had a mind to.
“Are you going to throw me off a cliff? Let me go!” She poked at his lower back and pulled at his shirt like some kind of busy raccoon scrounging for trash.
He patted her ass and kept walking, ignoring her attempts to kick him in the face.
He had no particular destination in mind, but he realized he was going to have to put her down simply because his shoulder was starting to ache. He’d used his right hand without even thinking about it. Stupid mistake. He couldn’t stop the wince as he set her down on the ground.
“Was I that heavy?” Lucy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s your injured shoulder! I shouldn’t have let you carry me like that. Are you okay?”
Normally he hated when people tried to coddle him, acting like he wa
s going to break, but he didn’t mind Lucy’s touching him. It helped that she smelled amazing and her breasts were pressed against his side, reminding him of why he liked her so much.
“I’m fine.” He took a few steps and felt dizzy at the sudden rush of pain down his arm. Damn damn damn. He’d been so wrapped up in Lucy that he simply hadn’t been thinking.
They were currently on a deserted trail that had led them up the cliff. Carter guessed they were about two miles from where he’d parked. He could see a few tourists wandering the trail that led into a nature reserve, but it was pretty much deserted around here.
“Come on.” Lucy took his arm and guided him down the path until they entered the forest. The pine trees here were at least one hundred feet tall, making the forest dappled with sunshine and moving shadows. Pinecones and needles crunched under their feet, the spicy scent of them oddly soothing.
“Here we go.” Lucy made him sit down on a bench before she sat next to him. “You’re really pale.” She touched his forehead, where a light sheen of sweat had broken out.
He felt, in a word, like shit. He’d been given painkillers, but he hated how out of it they made him feel. It was only when the pain became unbearable that he’d give in and take one. But he didn’t exactly bring them along on hikes in case he was stupid enough to throw a grown woman over his bum shoulder.
Lucy didn’t say anything, but simply sat with him. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done that with him. His dad certainly hadn’t. Some of his fellow players had visited him in the hospital after his surgery, but they’d had their own lives to deal with.
“Do I need to go back for the car?” said Lucy after a while.
“You can’t exactly drive it up here, babe.”
“I could try.”
Looking at her expression, he had a feeling she would try. That realization, that she would do that for him, made something inside him twist. He felt guilty, confused, but most of all amazed that she’d become an integral part of him so quickly. He only wondered how he’d manage to end this by the time this gig was over.
Why end it? his mind asked.
Because they were in different worlds. Because he wasn’t into commitment. Because he’d lied to her from the beginning and he was too much of a fucking coward to tell her the truth. Because he knew that things like this never lasted in the long run.
Eventually, the pain changed into a dull ache, although if he lifted his shoulder or arm, it hurt like a bitch.
“How did it happen?” said Lucy.
He knew what she meant, but he was tempted to play dumb. The memories always lurked in the back of his mind. It was only then that he realized he hadn’t had dreamed about his injury since that night weeks ago.
“I was fucking stupid,” he said bluntly, “and I wasn’t thinking. I was practicing and my shoulder was hurting, but I kept pushing myself. It was like if I didn’t, nothing that I had done mattered. And then…” He shrugged, then grimaced. Apparently shrugging wasn’t an option either.
“When do you find out if you can play or not?”
“In a few weeks, I’ll have to go back to Seattle for an appointment. Basically it’s my surgeon’s call.”
Lucy’s brow furrowed. “What happens if you have to retire? What’ll you do?”
“How the hell do I know?” he snapped. Lucy flinched, and guilt immediately flooded him. “Sorry, babe. I don’t know if I have an answer to that question because fuck if I know. I mean, I won’t starve, and I would’ve retired eventually. But to have it end like this, before I’d done everything I’d wanted…”
“I get it,” she said softly. “When your identity is wrapped up in the one thing you know how to do. I didn’t want to give up acting even when I thought I’d be better off because I don’t know how to be anything else. Who am I if I’m not acting? Just Lucy, the girl who failed at doing the one thing she wanted to do.”
His breath caught, only because Lucy was the first person to understand that need inside him, to prove himself to the world. He’d never understood people who could float through life without an ambition to drive them.
“It’d be one thing if you’d played until you decided you were done. Having that decision taken from you is different,” she said. Her smile was sad, and Carter almost couldn’t take the understanding in her gaze. It made him want to push her away, because if he wasn’t careful, she’d reach inside his chest and take his heart for her own.
Because he didn’t know what else to do, he kissed her. She reacted with surprise, but it didn’t take long for her to respond in kind. She tasted like the dappled sunshine surrounding them. He barely restrained himself from pulling her onto his lap and having her right here on a bench in the middle of a park. It was only when they heard footsteps that they parted, both breathless when a couple walked past them.
“Are you up for a walk?” said Lucy. “I’ve wanted to walk this trail since I got here, I just hadn’t gotten around to it.”
“I’ll manage.”
She shot him a shrewd look, like she didn’t believe him.
“I’m fine,” he said. He got up, lifted his shoulder, and managed to keep himself from wincing at the burning pain that resulted.
“If we need to go back—”
“No.” His tone was hard now. “I’m fine.”
This time, Lucy didn’t take his hand.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy kept tabs on Carter, waiting for him to give in and say they should go back to the car. They had another two miles to walk to get to the car in the first place. But she also knew she couldn’t stop a stubborn man from being determined to prove he was infallible. Men, she thought in exasperation. He’d be bleeding out and he wouldn’t tell me he was hurting.
When he stepped hard on an unexpected dip in the trail, he winced. Lucy stopped walking.
“We’re going back,” she said. “You’re going to push yourself too hard again.”
“Stop coddling me,” he growled.
“I’m not coddling you. I’m trying to keep you from hurting yourself again.”
His expression was more savage than she’d ever seen it. “You’re not my mother. You’re not even my fucking girlfriend.”
It was like an arrow straight to her heart. Her bottom lip wobbled, but she managed to say in an even voice, “You’re right. So if you want to keep hurting yourself, go right ahead. I won’t stop you.”
She walked away, not caring if Carter followed. He’d driven them here, but she’d catch a ride with someone back to town. She’d walk back to town if she had to. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before.
You’re not even my fucking girlfriend. She’d known that, of course, but now she wondered if she was anything to Carter except a fling. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t let her heart get involved, but based on how much it hurt right now, she was involved. Too involved for her own good.
“Lucy. Dammit, Lucy, wait.” Carter caught her by the arm. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
She whirled on him, wrenching her arm away. “What am I to you, then? Just an easy lay? A fuck buddy? What term would you like to use, Mr. Roberts?”
“I don’t fucking know. And I know you don’t either. This wasn’t exactly something I planned.”
“Do you think I’d planned this either?” She wanted to shake him.
Pushing his fingers through his hair, he sighed heavily. “Look, let’s be honest with each other. You’re going back to LA after this; I’m going back to Seattle. Why can’t we just enjoy each other while we can?”
Ice climbed down Lucy’s spine, her stomach rolling. She shouldn’t have expected a different answer, but it hurt all the same. Did she want Carter to tell her he wanted to make this work, that he cared about her? That, God forbid, he was in love with her?
Her mind in tumult, she didn’t know what she wanted anymore, except that the thought of this ending in a few weeks made her want to cry. Swallowing against tears, she said, “You’re right.
I wasn’t expecting anything else, either. So we might as well stop fighting since our time is limited.”
She was glad, once again, that she was an actress, because it took all of her talent to keep from bursting into tears when she saw the relief on Carter’s face.
They hiked back to the car in silence, which allowed Lucy to order her thoughts. She couldn’t get mad at Carter for thinking this…thing that they had wasn’t going to be more. She would’ve thought the same. She was madder at herself for wanting it to become more.
By the time they returned to the bed-and-breakfast, it was late afternoon. Carter walked her to her door and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“I’ll see you tonight?” he said, his expression heated.
Knowing she was a sucker and an idiot, she nodded, knowing full well that no other man had put her heart in as much jeopardy as this one.
Chapter Fifteen
The following Monday, Carter woke up at five a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep. He considered waking Lucy as well, but she was currently wrapped up in the blankets, cocooned in warmth. She was fast asleep, and he didn’t have the heart to wake her. Besides, he’d be back within an hour.
He dressed in his running clothes and headed out. The town was still, fog rolling in from the water, and it was so quiet that the only sounds were Carter’s exhalations and the sound of his tennis shoes against the pavement.
He had two weeks until he had to go to Seattle for his appointment with his orthopedic surgeon. Lately, he’d dreamt of the appointment, and one night he’d tossed and turned until Lucy had had to wake him up. The dreams always ended with him being told that he was officially retired for good, and it only increased the ball of anxiety building in his gut.
Was that why he was so obsessed with Lucy? Because she distracted him from what could very well happen? It made sense, but then again, he was always the kind of guy who got bored with a woman after a night or two. Then he’d find another one that would come to his bed, and another. It didn’t really matter who the woman was, and the women never cared about him, either. It had worked for him—until now.