by Dana Burkey
After swimming a few laps in the deep end I climbed back out of the pool and sat down on my deck chair once again. Thankfully my friends had moved on to talking about their upcoming practice by the time I re-joined them. I found it strange in that moment to listen to them. For the first time since I met both of them just under a year ago, I was going to be on a different team than my friends. Sure, being on Fuze had been a little taste of that, but I was still on Blast as well that whole time. It meant a very different season since we were on different practice schedules and wouldn’t be performing at the same time during competitions. Not wanting to focus on the separate teams any longer, I brought up something I had been thinking about since I got my new Nitro cheer gear on Saturday.
“Did you guys get sports bras for practice too?” I asked, looking at them sitting on either side of me.
“No,” Halley said simply.
“Why?” Lexi asked.
“Well, everyone on Nitro got sports bras with the TNT on the front in glitter letters,” I explained. “I wore mine under my tank yesterday, but a lot of people just wore the bra. I wasn’t sure if that was what I was supposed to do. I mean, do I have to wear just the bra to the gym from now on?”
“Oh my gosh, you’re totally getting good uniforms this year!”
I stared at Lexi after her comment, certain I had missed something. On my other side, Halley was also grinning and nodding in agreement.
“What does that even mean?” I finally demanded.
“We’ve had the full tops for a few years now,” Halley began. “But before that, back when my sister was on Bomb Squad, all the senior teams had half tops. So like the midriff tops we see a lot at competitions.”
“That was back when Mario was still coaching,” Lexi jumped in. “He did a lot of the uniform designs. But when he left to work at another gym Nicole was put in charge of uniforms. So, we ended up with a simpler look.”
“But I guess we have someone new helping out,” Halley once again took over. “That means Spark might get a uniform upgrade too. Probably not mid drifts though since Nicole doesn't like them for junior teams. But maybe we can finally get something cool like other teams.”
“So, I’m really going to have my stomach showing when I perform?” I asked, trying to make sure I understood all they’d just said.
“Yeah,” Lexi nodded. “In fact, you might want to think about getting a new bathing suit. You don’t want to blind the judges with your super pale skin.”
In that moment, I wanted to tell both of my friends that they were wrong, but I also knew they couldn’t be more right if they tried. After all, I never wore midriff shirts or bathing suits like they did. Not even a tankini like Halley was wearing, a term I only knew since the bright pink suit was new so Lexi had complimented her on it when they arrived to my house. Lexi, unlike Halley, was showing a good bit more skin in her yellow and orange striped bikini. The suit didn’t look too “grown up” even though it showed her stomach, but the idea of me wearing something like it was strange.
Looking down at my own swimsuit after taking in both of theirs, it was like I stood out like a sore thumb. My hunter green one piece was the only suit I had owned for years, despite the fact I went swimming almost every day. I had no idea how long I had owned it, or even where it came from for that matter. It was something my dad just gave me, having picked it up when he was out getting pool supplies after we moved into the new house. Like so much of my clothing, I just let my dad know I needed something like new socks or basketball shorts, and he would grab them when he was in town. But, I knew instantly, I was going to need some backup on buying something like a swimsuit. Especially one that would actually help me tan my stomach before people would see it while I was performing. Sure, I had a while until then, but as I sat between my friends in their fancy and brightly colored suits, I knew it was time for change.
Despite insisting I needed to go into a store and try on swimsuits, Lexi and Halley helped me order a new bathing suit off line before they left Tuesday afternoon. I knew they would more than likely drag me to the mall at some point for additional swimming options, but when I explained it would be easier on my dad that way, they let it go. There were some things my dad was still a little weirded out about, so I did my best to help him where I could. He was always willing to give me money to buy things, but even mentioning them felt weird. So, instead of telling him what I needed and why and then asking for a ride, I just told him my swimsuit was old and I wanted to order a new one. I picked out a basic suit that would show most of my stomach and allow me to tan, then called it good. I went for a royal blue color in the end since it didn’t have any rhinestones or other flashy hardware, unlike every black one I found.
With that taken care of, and another grueling practice Wednesday, I spent the rest of the week trying to get the skin on my stomach to match the rest of my body. I knew it was a bad idea to just sit out under the sun and get it done all in one day. So, instead, I laid out for a little while at a time, taking breaks to swim and cool off from the heat. Although, when Friday rolled around and we were finishing the 3 mile run that was part of our daily workout, I felt like the time tanning might have been a waste. I was feeling sluggish and tired, and worried that a little more time stretching or even going for a run might have been a better idea than trying to get my stomach to be less pale. I finished only a little bit ahead of Matthew, and for once needed to sit for a while to catch my breath.
“Isn’t this supposed to get easier after a while?” Connor asked. He was breathing heavily, lying on the blue mat next to me with his shirt off in an attempt to cool down quickly. “Today felt even worse than Wednesday.”
“It’s because we didn’t get a popsicle,” Matthew frowned. “And I think it’s actually over 100 degrees today.”
“103,” I confirmed, having seen the temperature while sending Lexi a snapchat just before practice had started. The heat and workout had me tempted to take off my tank top and just wear my sports bra, but I was still hesitant. Cheer shorts took a little while to get comfortable in, and it was looking like the sports bra and crop top uniforms were going to be more of the same.
“So, what do you guys think,” Emma asked between sips of water. “Are we actually going to try stunts or tumbling today?”
“I hope so,” I replied. “Anything to keep from all the non-stop conditioning.”
Despite the wishing, we once again spent the practice doing one hard exercise after another. It was extra grueling considering the girls on both Blast and Dynamite were practicing on the mats next to us. They were working on basic tumbling passes and proper grips for bases. Seeing them out of the corner of my eye while we pushed our bodies through the hard work out wasn’t easy to say the least. Thankfully, it came with a bit of good news at the end of practice.
“Okay everyone gather around,” TJ called out, while motioning us over to him. We had just done bear crawls across the spring-loaded floor and back five times each. So, we moved slowly as we took a seat in front of our coach who was sitting on a stack of mats. “This week was hard. Now, I’m not going to lie and say the exercises are going to get easier, but they will feel easier, if that makes any sense.”
“Not really,” someone behind me announced, causing everyone to laugh a little.
“Let me try that again,” TJ said with a smile. “Next week we’re going to do the same drills. The same warms up, and the same conditioning. Every day for the next three months that’s going to be how we get started. And starting Monday we’re going to start trying out stunt groups and working on tumbling after everything we just did. But the more we do it, the less tired you’re all going to be.”
“We’re building stamina,” Matthew said, many of the athletes around him nodding in agreement.
“Exactly,” TJ confirmed. “We’re going to push hard from day one, so that when we get to competition time we have the drive to keep going even when it’s hot, or we’ve done a lot of full outs, or everyone around us
is tired. So if you want it to get better here, you need to do the work when you’re not at the gym as well.”
I immediately thought of my time tanning over the last few days. As much as I wanted to work on tanning, I needed to also do conditioning at home as well. Like TJ said, the work at home would help the time at the gym be that much less strenuous. There would likely be a lot more days of exhaustion at practice before things got better, but at the least there was a promise of flying and tumbling soon. I was looking forward to Monday for that if nothing else.
“I also want to talk about something I’m sure you’ve all noticed,” TJ began again, this time with a much more serious look on his face. “This team is a small co-ed. That means we take the floor with 4 guys and 16 girls. That’s it. But I’m sure you’ve all noticed that we have some extra people here. Between now and when we take the mat at our first competition we will be losing 1 guy and 4 girls. Some of the people who get cut will move over to Detonators or Bomb Squad and still have a shot at Worlds. But some of you may get cut and be moved down to Fuze. Either way, people who aren’t doing the work at home will not be on this mat a month from now. That’s a promise. I can tell when you’re just going through the motions or not putting in extra time at home. In fact, I think that’s what we did at the end of last season, and it cost us everything.”
Beside me, Connor shifted uncomfortable. The mention of Nitro’s failure at Worlds was still big and heart breaking news at TNT. Thanks to a pyramid fall that seemed to drain the life out of the whole routine, Nitro walked away from Worlds with nothing to show for it. No trophy. No medals. Just a lot of regrets. Even Connor, who wasn’t basing on the side of the pyramid that fell, hadn’t brought it up that often in the weeks since it happened. Glancing around the mat, I saw a lot of other athletes looking frustrated or even sad just thinking about it.
“That was last year though people,” TJ continued, although it was clear the mention of Worlds had him a little bummed as well. “This is a new team, with new talent. We’re going to build a great routine and push from here all the way until that finish line. So when we look back after this year, we can all be proud of giving it all we have. For some of you, even your best will not be good enough for this team. And even if you don’t make the final team, you can be proud if you put in the time and actually bring your best each and every time you enter this gym or put on your teal uniform.”
TJ finished his speech then handed everyone a half sheet of paper with each step of our workout listed. The idea was for us to use it at home to work on the same skills and drills. After just three days of doing them over and over again, I had a feeling none of us would soon forget the torture. Finally, after circling up for a “Nitro” on three, I dragged myself to the cubbies holding my backpack and sat down to change out of my cheer shoes. They were a little beat up after months of wearing them, but they would get even worse if I didn’t trade them for tennis shoes for the trip home. I quickly swapped the pair, then took the chance to also slip on a pair of black basketball shorts over my much smaller teal cheerleading shorts.
“Nice look,” Leanne said with a mock smile to me as she also changed out of her shoes. “Real fashion forward.”
“Thanks,” I replied simply, then turned and walked away from her. I had been tempted to reply with the same level of attitude that she shot at me, but was too tired to say anything more. Not only that, but I was still hoping being on the same team might help her relax with the attitude as far as I was concerned.
“Max, wait up.” Stopping to turn around while walking to the door, I saw Connor jogging after me. “Do you want to walk home together again?”
“Lexi and Halley said you live super far away,” I said in reply, although I knew it wasn’t exactly an answer to his question.
“Yeah kind of,” he shrugged, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “But I figured you might like the company.”
After thinking about it for only a second I agreed. “Company would be nice. Just don’t expect me to go fast after all that conditioning.”
“Oh come on,” Connor laughed as we exited the gym to grab my bike. “You didn’t even look tired until right at the end. Not to mention you’re always the first one done with the run.”
“The sooner I finish the sooner I don’t have to run anymore,” I shrugged, giving him the same answer I had told Matthew on Monday.
“Only you would think of it that way Max,” he said with a shake of his head. “You’re always so positive when the rest of us are dragging.”
“Well, right now, I’m positive I’m going to be dragging this whole walk home,” I frowned. “If I didn’t have my pool waiting for me I think I would die of heat exhaustion or something.”
“Don’t say that,” Connor said with a shake of his head. “You’re already killing it at practice, I don’t need to be jealous of your pool now too.”
“You don’t have to be too jealous,” I offered. “I haven’t planned it yet, but I’m sure I can have people over soon for a swim party after practice.”
“Really?” Connor asked, already brightening at the idea.
“Of course! I did it a lot last season with Lexi and Halley and then some of the other girls on Blast. I guess so far this season I’ve just been too dead after conditioning to think about mentioning it to anyone else.”
“Okay, you just made this idea of nonstop conditioning sound a little less terrible,” he said with an over exaggerated grin.
“Anything I can do to help, I will!” I assured him. “I’ll double check with my dad this weekend, but I’m sure one day next week some people can come over.”
“Awesome. Now we just have to survive that long.”
With a laugh, we went back to chatting about practice, stunt groups, and Nitro in general. It was so easy to talk to Connor and forget everything else around me. Much like when I was with Lexi or Halley, time passed by quickly and easily when I was with him. In fact, so much so on that day, that before I knew it we had made it to my house.
“Well, this is your stop,” Connor said as he put the kickstand of my bike down so it could stand on its own in my driveway.
“Thanks for walking with me, Connor.”
“Anytime,” he grinned, then moved in to give me a hug. It was a rather gross and sweaty hug after the long team practice not to mention the additional walk through the hot air all the way to my house. Thankfully, it was a shorter hug than usual though. Likely since Connor realized the stifling heat only got worse being that close to people. “See you later.”
“See ya,” I echoed back, then turned and headed inside to change for a swim. I knew I needed to ask my dad about the pool party, but that could wait. The first thing I needed to do was change into my new swimsuit and jump head first into the pool. And it was exactly what I did.
“I might actually die,” I whined Monday afternoon as I laid on the floor after yet another session of conditioning.
Around me, the other athletes on Nitro were also exhausted, panting after our run and workout. It was over 100 degrees outside once again, and even the otter pops TJ gave us as a reward for the miles we completed weren't enough to give us energy. But, like it or not, we still had a lot of practice time to go.
“I’m just focused on the pool,” Connor said out loud in reply to my comment, and was instantly given the support of both Matthew and Emma.
Once I got home from practice on Friday I talked to my dad about having Nitro over to swim then set to work inviting people. I didn’t know everyone on the team still, but wanted to do my best to invite a few people I knew and use it as a chance to get to a few more people as well. This of course meant I invited Connor, Matthew, and Emma right away. Then, since I was kind of close to her from my time on Fuze, I invited Juleah. From there, I invited Jade and she asked if it was okay if she could bring Nick. They lived on the same street, so he was her ride home. It sounded fine to me, since I hadn’t gotten to know Nick that well yet either. I thought about inviting more peo
ple, but decided that many was enough for the first swim party of the season.
“Yeah, today’s pool time can’t come soon enough,” I sighed.
Even thinking about the pool had my mind going back to my new bathing suit immediately. I had only worn it a few times since it arrived, but felt self-conscious even when I was swimming alone. I knew if Peter or Kyle had been home and were in the pool with me I would have never put on the bright blue suit that showed off my entire stomach. In fact, even without my neighbors there, I chose to wear my green one piece when I went for a swim to start off my Monday morning. Part of me knew it was kind of silly since no one was even there to see me, but I still felt exposed for some reason. Short shorts were one thing, but a real bikini was, for some reason, a big hurdle for me to jump.
“Hey Max, do you have a minute?”
I sat up at the question, shocked to hear someone other than my friends calling me. Looking over, I saw the question had come from Leanne. She was standing next to Connor, looking as done up as always with a thick coat of makeup on her face, which was somehow unaffected despite the sweat I could see along her hairline. This could have been thanks to the fact that she was one of the girls going without their tank tops for practice.
“Sure,” I immediately replied, although it sounded a little like a question. I stood up and walked with her a few feet off the mat.
“So, I was talking to TJ about this season and he is planning some really intense stuff for pyramid,” she began, a slightly annoyed sound in her voice. Or rather a more annoyed tone than usual. “The only thing is that he wants to work on some tumbling to lead into everything since it will help the score sheets.”
“That sounds great,” I nodded, a comment that made Leanne narrow her eyes at me a bit.
“Yeah, great for you,” she corrected me instantly. “I don’t really tumble much. I’m always doing baskets in the back during the running tumbling. Like, I honestly don’t even know the last time I’ve done more than a whip to layout.”