by Cameron Hart
She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “Davis. You have his picture. He’s…” Her voice cracks and she starts crying again.
Ice runs down my veins as her words sink in. Davis is Savage. What. The. Fuck.
A million thoughts race through my head, but first I have to figure out how to help Claire.
I pull her into my arms, expecting her to protest, but instead, she melts against me. All of her strength is gone, and I’m more than willing to give her some of mine.
“Shh, baby, it’s ok. It’s ok now. You’re safe here.” I kiss the top of her head and rub my hands up and down her back. “We’ve been tracking him for a while, he’s messed up in some pretty heavy shit that has impacted a lot of the clubs in the area.” I don’t really know how much I should tell her. Technically, I’m not supposed to tell her anything, but she’s earned the right to some context.
She nods her head, but I’m not sure any words are getting through. I just hold her, not sure what else to do or say.
Suddenly, she tenses and jumps up. “I need to talk to River. I need to tell him what I know. I need to bring him down.”
There’s the warrior I saw the first day I cleaned up her knuckles. There’s a fight in her eyes and I know she needs to talk to River too.
“Are you sure? I know it’s hard –“
“Yes.” She cuts me off. “Now.”
I take her hand and lead her to the bar where River is sitting.
He takes in her tear stained face the scrape on her knee from falling earlier. I see remorse flash across his eyes, which cools my anger towards him a little bit.
“Shit, Claire, I’m sorry I yelled –“
She puts her hand up to silence him and I have to stifle a laugh. My baby’s got a fire in her and I love it.
“I’ll take your apology later. We need to talk. I know that man you were looking at it there and I’d like for you to kill him.”
River’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and I swear his eyeballs are about to pop out of his head.
“Fuck, little lady. We do need to talk. Come back here with me and we’ll sort this out.”
“Oh, so now I’m allowed in your super secret brain trust room?”
She’s fuming and adorable and River tries to hide a smile as he walks to the room with her. I follow close behind.
***
Claire tells River everything. Even some shit I didn’t know. I knew it was bad, but fuck. I fucking hate that she was at the compound for so long. It never gets easier hearing her talk about it.
River takes it all in stride. He seems calm as he listens to her, but I can tell he’s pissed about everything she’s been through as well. His jaw ticks when she tells him about The Mercy Room. His nostrils flare when she tells him about escaping. He’s keeping it together for her, but I appreciate that he now realizes how important it is to protect her.
“Thank you for telling me all of this, Claire. I know it’s not easy. Jax got himself a little badass. I’m glad you’re here, little lady.”
She just nods, and I take her hand in mine. She squeezes it and it makes my heart beat a little faster.
“So, what are we going to do?” She asks.
“The other officers and I will need to discuss it. We’ll let you know if we have any other questions.”
“When are you discussing it? I want in.”
“It doesn’t work like that, little lady. It’s club business now.”
“What? You’re fucking kidding me.”
I squeeze her hand, knowing this is going downhill fast.
“Sweetheart, let’s just go for now ok? We can talk about it later. You haven’t eaten all day, let’s get some food.”
“Don’t treat me like a little kid!” She stands up and slams her hands on the table. “Sure, Davis fucked up your club business or whatever, but he fucked up my life. He beat me and broke me and tortured me and I want to be the one to claw his fucking eyes out while he begs me to spare his life!”
River doesn’t miss a beat. He stands up, towering over her, and I’m on my feet in half a second, ready to step in.
“Claire,” he says in a low, calming, voice that still demands respect. “I can appreciate your hatred, and fuck, I want him dead too. You have to trust us to handle this. I promise you, we will end him.”
She looks at me like I’m supposed to say something, but I honestly have no idea what to do. Obviously, I’m not going to let her go after Davis. I’m going to be the one to kill him. I’ll bring her his head on a silver platter, but I won’t let her near him again. Ever.
“FUCK!” She yells and then storms out of the room.
River glances at me, sizing me up. “Well, are you going to go after your little firecracker?”
“Yeah… Yeah, I suppose I am.” Still unsure how to tread this new ground I’m on between my woman and my club.
“I really am sorry for yelling at her earlier. And I’m sorry she’s been through hell and back. I want to protect her too, and goddamnit, that’s what we’re trying to do. You get that, right?”
“I do. I just don’t know how to tell her that.”
River nods. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He pats me roughly on the back. “Now, go find that little lady before she burns the clubhouse down, ok?” He says with a grin.
I nod and head back to her room.
Chapter 20
Claire
I’m so fucking furious.
“It’s club business now, we’ll let you know if we have any other questions.”
I mean, what the actual fuck? I told them who he is, I gave them the only lead they had, I told them where the compound was, how it worked, when the best times would be to infiltrate. I fucking poured my heart out for the second time, thank you very much, and then I get dismissed?
Yeah, fuck that.
And then Jax just stood there. Like he didn’t get it. What the hell was that all about?
I need to get out of here. I need to do something.
But the idea of leaving Jax twists something deep inside. It fucking hurts, like my heart is being ripped in two. I love him. I know I do. But I can’t stay here.
Fuck.
And then Jax knocks on the door. I know it’s him.
“Claire, let me in, we need to talk.”
“Nope. I’m done talking. It clearly doesn’t matter what I say anyway. You and your club are just going to do whatever the fuck you want.”
He tries for the door handle, which pisses me off even more that he wouldn’t wait for me to let him in. Too bad I locked it.
“Fuck, baby, please. Let me in, I want to fix this. Please, tell me how to fix this.”
“There’s nothing you can do right now. I’m so fucking pissed, Jax.”
“I know. I just need to see you, please. I feel like I’m losing you.”
His words stab me right in the chest. It’s hurts so fucking bad. I want him. I need him. But I can’t. I can’t for so many reasons and I never should have let things go this far. I fight back the tears and try to gain control again.
“I refuse to be involved with another group who wants to control me. To use me. I won’t tolerate secrets, Jax. I won’t. I can’t.” My stupid voice cracks on the last word and I start sobbing. “I can’t, I can’t, I won’t.” The words just keep tumbling out of my mouth in between sobs.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I have to get my shit together and leave.
“Please don’t cry, angel. You’re killing me. Let me in, baby, I’m begging you. Let me fix this.”
“NO!” I throw a hairbrush at the door like the mature adult that I am. “Leave me alone. Just leave. Please, Jax, just leave.”
“Never. I’m never leaving.” He says, though in a more defeated tone. I hear him lean against the door and slide down, sitting on the floor. I can’t help it. I go to the door and slide down, sitting back to back with him, with the door separating us.
I hear Jax sigh. “I love you, Claire. I love you s
o fucking much. I’m not leaving.”
Tears stream down my face, but I manage to keep quiet. He’s killing me. This man is ripping my heart out. I’m so mad at him and his stupid club. They were so good to me and now they just want to keep me in the dark
“I know. I love you too, Jax.”
Which is why I have to be the one to leave you.
***
We sit there for a long time. Jax on the other side of the door, just waiting for me to calm down and talk to him, and me, plotting how to leave.
My stomach starts to growl and I hear Jax chuckle.
“Can I get you some food, sweetheart?”
“I’m not opening the door for you.”
“Ok. Let me get you some food. I’ll leave it in front of the door and walk away.”
“Yeah, I’m not falling for that.”
“Claire.” He says in a sharp tone. “I’ve given you every reason to trust me, apart from today. I would never violate you, I hope you know that. I won’t crowd you, I won’t hurt you. I know you need space. You also need food.”
I don’t say anything. I do trust him, I’m just not ready to face him.
“Please, Claire. I feel so helpless. Let me at least do this one thing.”
“Fine.”
“Thank you, angel. I’ll be back.”
I hear him get up and walk down the hall. It’s now or never. I grab one of the duffle bags and stuff a few outfits inside along with some shoes.
“Sorry, Mia. I hope you can forgive me.”
I walk into the bathroom and open the window. Taking one last look at the only place I’ve ever felt safe, I stand on the toilet and crawl out the window.
I don’t have a plan.
The window is at the back of the clubhouse, so no one can see me crawl down. All I know is I have to get away. I’ll hitchhike if I have to. I start sprinting towards the woods and don’t look back.
***
I run as long as I can before my legs give out. I am in the woods, but right at the perimeter so I can be hidden, but also have an exit. This part of the forest runs along highway 9, where I hope to catch a ride to anywhere but here.
I walk for hours along the road. I hear motorcycles and dive back into the woods till they pass.
After a while, I venture back towards the road. I see a Prius and decide to try my luck at waving it down. If ever there was a chick car, it’d be a Prius, right?
I wave my arms and the car passes me by.
Welp. Swing and a miss.
Then I see break lights, and the car backs up till it stops right in front of me.
I bend down towards the passenger side window in order to talk to the driver. They roll the window down and I freeze.
Oh fuck.
“Hello, little doll. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
I turn and run back towards the forest but Davis is out of the car in no time. He has a gun and I freeze.
“That’s it, doll. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Although, I always did love your fight. It made breaking you that much sweeter.”
I swing the duffle bag at him, hoping to throw him off balance, but before I make contact, he hits me on the side of the head with the butt of his gun. I fall to the ground and I see Davis smile down at me before everything goes black.
Chapter 21
Jax
I fucked up.
I didn’t get why Claire was so upset, but I do now. It makes sense that she doesn’t trust the club. I think she trusts me, though it’s still tentative. When River told her she couldn’t be a part of the conversation to take down Davis, she snapped. I understood that it was protocol – no one got the details of assignments unless you were a patched in member. No one. Stacy, Mia, the club girls, they didn’t know anything either.
And then another wave of understanding hit me. To her, we’re another group of men who leave women out of the decisions we make. Fuck, no wonder she felt used. I know part of her reaction is coming from old wounds, but part of it is totally justified. I never explained any of the MC life to her. Fuck!
I have to get back to her, I have to make her understand, to let me in. I hate being apart from her like this.
After grabbing some fast food, I write her a note.
Claire,
I’m so sorry I put you in this position. It’s all my fault, you have every right to be pissed. I never meant to make you feel powerless or used. That’s the last thing I ever want you to feel. Please just talk to me. I want to know what you’re thinking, I want to explain everything to you. Come find me when you’re ready.
Love,
Jax
I put the note and the food in front of the door and knock.
“Food’s outside, angel. I’m going into the kitchen to give you some space. Please find me when you’re ready, ok?”
I hoped for some response, but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t say anything. Maybe she fell asleep. God knows her morning of panic and then rage had to of been exhausting.
***
I get caught up in a conversation with Bear, and then Bear, Slash, River, and I have another meeting about the plan to take down Davis, since our last one flew off the rails. There are a lot of details to iron out, but we have three clubs and a few inside people with the cops to coordinate. And it’s going down tonight.
I asked Mia to keep an eye on Claire’s door and to send one of the prospects to come get me when she comes out of her room.
Before I know it, three hours have passed. I fucking miss Claire.
I walk back to her room and see the food and note still outside. My heart drops and panic sets in.
Something’s not right.
I bang on the door.
“Claire, are you in there?” No sound.
I pound on the door, harder this time.
No response.
“If you’re in there, stand back, baby. I’m kicking this goddamn door down like I should have done in the first place.”
I stand back and kick the door handle once, twice, three times, and the door splinters open. I rush in and don’t see Claire anywhere.
Instead, what I see is a note that says, “Please forgive me,” and an open window in the bathroom.
“Goddamnit! FUCK!”
I yell.
Bear, River, and Mia are behind me in seconds.
“What the hell, man? What’s going on?”
“She’s gone. She fucking left.” I’m trying to keep the panic and anger out of my voice, but I know I’m failing miserably.
“Shit. Ok. Round up the prospects and start looking for her. We’ll get her back, Jax,” River says.
Mia is in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. I go over and give her a hug.
“We’ll find her, Mia. I won’t let her go.”
She sniffles and pulls back. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t check on her earlier.”
“Mia, it’s not your fault. She’s fierce and stubborn as hell, I don’t think anyone could convince her to stay. But fuck if I’m not going to try.”
She nods and wipes her eyes. “Go get her then. And don’t fuck this up.” She turns on her heel and walks away.
“Jax,” River gets my attention. “We will find Claire. But we have to get Davis tonight.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“I know. I know this is bad timing-“
“Bad timing?” I yell.
“JAX! Get your shit together. We have this one shot to bring Davis down. Claire gave us an in, she gave us enough info to take them down, and you know we have to strike now.”
I growl. I know what he’s saying is true but fuck it all. I need Claire.
“Jax. Brother. Taking down Davis is still protecting Claire. He’ll no longer be a threat and then you can travel the fucking country looking for her, ok? The prospects will be out there the whole time searching for her. The best thing you can do to help Claire is to kill that motherfucking Davis asshole.”
He’s right. Fuck. I know he’s right.
Chapter 22
Claire
I wake up to the all too familiar feeling of duct tape on my mouth and my hands bound behind my back.
Well, shit.
This time, instead of being in the old barn, I’m back in The Mercy Room. Panic seizes my throat and I begin to shake.
No, no, no. I fought so hard to leave all of this. I can’t be back here.
I look up at the small window in the door and catch Davis’ eye. He unlocks the door and steps in.
“Did you miss this place, Claire?”
I pull myself off the floor into a sitting position, leaning against the bed in the corner. I stare at him, chin out, daring him to try and break me again.
“What was that, doll? Cat got your tongue?”
He rips off the duct tape and I spit on him. Probably not my best idea.
He backhands me in the head right where he hit me with his gun earlier. It sends me crashing into the metal bedframe. Sparks shoot across my skull as a second wound throbs on the opposite temple. I almost pass out again, but I won’t give him the satisfaction.
He grabs my jaw and bends down till he’s only a few inches away from my face.
“Try that again, you fucking cunt, and I’ll be forced to put your mouth to better use.” He steps back and grabs his crotch, rubbing his already semi-hard dick.
Fucking disgusting.
“I have to leave you for a bit. It’s the Feast of the Day of Atonement. Fitting, don’t you think?” He says in a neutral tone, like he’s telling his wife he’ll be home late from the office. I guess to him, that’s basically what he’s doing.
He reaches out and pets my head before running his hand down the back of my neck and fisting my hair, yanking my head back with a considerable force. His nose is almost touching mine. His tone turns cold and calculating. “Trust me when I say you’ll be atoning for your sins, you whore. We’ll put your new, carnal, worldly knowledge to good use.” He licks the side of my face. Apparently, he didn’t want a repeat of the last time he tried to kiss me. As if reading my thoughts, he whispers in my ear, “I’ll have to get a muzzle for you, little doll.”