by Tamara White
In an instant, I’m no longer in my human form—I’m a wolf. Dad says my coat is a beautiful silver color and majestic looking, but I’ve yet to see it. Dad thought taking pictures was too dangerous.
I glance back at the brothers, each of whom are gaping at me in terror and shock.
I don’t get a chance to think about the repercussions of my shift, knowing right now is about life or death. Not only for me, but them too.
The wolves descend on me, and I make quick work of the first two, snapping their necks. They must be newer wolves or something, because they all seem to be smaller than me.
The crunch of bones between my teeth used to disturb me, but I’ve learned that stupid human emotions like disgust, guilt, and even fear just hinder me. When it’s over, those feelings will settle over me, but now, it’s a fight to survive.
Four wolves try to jump on me, but gunfire scares a few of them off. I’m left fighting one wolf at a time as shots ring out around me. Relief washes over me, chasing back some of that fear trying to rise up. A few wolves I could handle on my own, this many, though, my odds weren’t looking good.
I don’t think about the guns, trusting the boys are smart enough to understand who is on their side. If they kill me, the rest of the wolves will destroy them in a matter of seconds. Hopefully they realize that.
When there’s only one wolf left, it goes to run, most likely to find the rest of its pack and bring them back here to finish us off. I know I can’t let that happen, so I lope after it and attack, letting my wolf enjoy the moment of being an apex predator destroying her prey. Blood sprays me as we tear into the wolf, the momentary horror at the carnage almost throwing me from the shift before my wolf soothes me. She is the animal, not me, but we are still one and the same. I can’t deny her desires and needs any more than I can deny the shift.
Once it’s dead, I meander back to the boys, keeping my ears open for any other wolves that are ready to attack.
I step out from among the trees, sniffing along each of the dead wolves, trying to ensure they’re all lifeless. After I’m certain they’re deceased, I wander back over to the three boys, two of whom have guns aimed at me.
My heart races at the fear drifting from them, but I also scent curiosity, wonder, and relief. They know I saved them, but they are still struggling with what I am. It goes against all they’ve been told about wolves. To have a person they know, a person they came to trust, shift into the very being they are being taught to kill, well, I can understand why there’s a little hesitance.
I pause a few feet away and shift back to human form, not caring about the nudity. Well, not until all three of them have the scent of lust wafting off of them. I move past them, slow so as to not scare them into firing at me, and take my clothes from the table, dressing quickly.
“You care to explain what the fuck that was? How long have you been a wolf? And why the hell are you a hunter if you shift into the very creature you’re supposed to hunt?” Jayden looks beyond pissed, and his scent confirms it. His hand is wrapped around his gun, which is not quite fully raised but not lowered either. It’s like his body is at war over what to do.
“Since you’re both pointing guns at me, I think I’ll keep my secrets to myself.” I take my gun and dagger, and put my boots in the bag that was wedged under my laces. “Have you made a decision yet?”
I direct my question at Jayden and Tyler, each of them confused.
“What are you talking about? What decision?” Jayden is clearly pissed. His face is red with anger, most likely because of the way tonight’s events have turned out.
“Well, before the attack, we were discussing whether you were going to kill Ash or not. I don’t know how much you know, but you need to make the decision in, oh—” I look up at the sky, gauging how long until the moon is at its peak. “We’ve got about another thirty minutes until the moon has fully risen and he’s going to shift. So I need to know if I’m sticking around to help your brother not become a murderer, or if I’m leaving his two brothers to become murderers.”
I’m hoping they’ll make the smart decision and let me help Ash. As stupid as it seems, I’ve become fond of him. He’s the type of friend I’d always wished for over my lifetime. He trusted me enough that he told me about his mother, and now he knows my secret.
I honestly don’t think I could let them kill him regardless of what they decide, but I’m hoping their morality kicks in and they realize how fucked up it is to even think about killing their brother.
“You’re not leaving.” Jayden’s tone is nonnegotiable, and his eyes and body language express how much he wants to detain me.
My eyes narrow in anger, my wolf growling in my head. “Ah, I beg to differ. You see, whether you like it or not, I’m getting out of here. If you make me hurt you, then I will, but I would prefer to leave peacefully.” How dare he think he can keep me here! I may be the creature his family hunts, but I’m stronger than him. If he makes me hurt him, I will. I’d prefer not to, but there is no way I’ll stick around for him to turn his brother and me over to his twisted father.
All three of the boys stare at each other like they are unsure how to handle this situation.
“I don’t want to die.” Ash has tears in his eyes as he glances between his brothers. “Please, give me a chance. I won’t kill anyone, I swear. I can control it.”
“And what if you can’t?” Jayden is staring at Ash, the dilemma clear in his eyes. “If you slip up, we’d have to kill you anyway. And what about Dad? If we tell him, then he’ll have expected we kill you, not bring you home.” Jay sighs and sinks onto the bench. “If we let you live, you can’t come home, Ash. It would be too big of a risk.”
“He has a place to go,” I say, thinking of his mother. He may not be able to stay with them, but his mother would be glad to have him, I’m sure. She could also teach him how to control his urges, and how to keep the wolf nature from becoming too overbearing.
“What, with you?” Tyler looks at me with disgust. “We don’t even know you. For all we know, you’re just like them.” He points over at the dead wolves. “A murderer obsessed with human flesh.”
“Well then, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to piss me off, does it?” I snark, immediately regretting my words because I know they will just lead to more distrust. I sigh, trying to rein in my anger. My wolf is close to the surface. “Look, I just took a big fucking risk by revealing myself to save your asses. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and my shift is close. When it happens, I need to hunt some deer to stop the urge to hunt anything else, like the hunters in the woods tonight. So if you could stop letting your bias from your father rule you for ten fucking seconds and use your brains, then I’d very much appreciate it. Look at your brother, the boy you’ve both known all your lives, and tell me if you think he’s a killer.”
Both of them stare at Ash, neither of them saying a word, so I continue on, making the decision easier for them.
“I have never, in all my life as a wolf, killed a human. I’ve trained my ass off to ensure that I can control that side of me. Do I have the urge to hunt? Sure, but it’s never to hunt humans. My belief is that the wolves out there who hunt humans do so simply because they are weak willed or just want to. If Ash is given the correct guidance from the beginning, then he has every chance of being just as stable as I am. Hell, he may even be able to come home when he has a handle on his second nature. But right now, you two need to decide. Can you keep this from your father? Is this secret too big? Or are you willing to keep it from him to save your brother?”
“Take him.”
“Ty, we can’t just let her—”
He turns on his brother, eyes blazing and body poised for a fight. “No, Jay, I’ve listened to you, I’ve listened to Dad, but you know what? I’ve had enough.” His hands shake as he holsters his gun. “I remember what Mom used to tell us every night before bed. She told us that wolves were like people. They chose to be bad, they weren’t made that way. Just like us.
Eliza is a hunter and a wolf. If she can choose to kill her own kind and risk her life to save us even if it is a death sentence, then I think it’s reason enough to trust her with this. It’s not like either of us can teach him how to be a wolf.” His breath heaves as he stares down at his brother, his eyes glistening with tears. “I’m not losing Ash. We already lost Mom. Isn’t that enough?”
“And what do we tell Dad? Do we tell him he ran away or something? He won’t believe that.”
“You don’t need to tell him anything except that he came home with me,” I interject. “We are only forced to shift on the full moon. Tomorrow morning, he will be back to normal. You can come by my place if you want and see for yourselves. Maybe bring him a spare set of clothes. After we know how he handled the shift, then we can discuss what needs to happen next.”
“So what, you want me to pretend nothing happened? What about all these bodies?” Jay looks over at the corpses, most likely trying to figure out how to hide so many wolf carcasses from his father or possible hikers tomorrow.
“I’ll handle it. In my wolf form, I can dig a lot faster and a lot deeper. No one will ever know they were killed. Your only job will be to omit that we came across any wolves at all.”
“And what about the bite?” Tyler asks, a slight edge of worry in his tone. “Dad will see the bite mark. How will we hide that?”
“Look, will you guys just forget all the questions and trust me? I’ll explain everything tomorrow, but for now, we just don’t have time to go over every little detail. With each second that passes, the risk of us shifting increases. Just trust me for tonight. Trust me to keep your brother safe and prevent him from killing anyone. We will have plenty of time for answers tomorrow.”
Jayden nods, his eyes filled with defeat. “Alright. Take our brother but look after him. We’ll see you tomorrow morning at your place.”
I smile and help Ash to his feet, letting him lean on my shoulder. We need to get away from the cabins as quickly as we can. I’ve never helped a bitten wolf before, but I don’t want to be too close to humans just in case. I’ll double back once I know he’s in control, then I can take care of the wolf carcasses. I just hope they don’t have time to shift to human. That would just traumatize Ash, and in his current state, I’d like to keep him as mellow as possible.
“You should have just left me behind. I’m too heavy for you to carry in addition to your boots.” Ash is looking at the ground, limping as we walk away from his brothers.
“After you shift, you’ll be walking like normal.” I grin over at him, trying to highlight the good parts of his new life. “Anytime you’re injured, you just need to shift, and bam, good as new. Same as if you get hurt as a wolf. Shift back to human, and your body just magically mends itself.”
“Really? That’s pretty cool.”
I pause, the pull of the moon getting stronger. “I’m going to have to pick you up and run with you for a bit. The moon’s pull is close, and we need to be far from where our parents are hunting and the other humans.”
“You’re going to carry me?” I hand my bag to him, watching as he takes it in his arms. “Well, I did it before, what’s one more time?” I put one arm around his waist and the other under his legs before scooping him up.
His body isn’t heavy to me, but it’s damn awkward carrying someone taller than me, so I make sure to hurry to seclusion. When I finally reach a spot among the woods where I smell no trace of wolves or humans, I gently drop Ash to the ground and take the bag from him. “If I were you, I’d strip out of your clothes. Anything too tight, and you’ll be in pain. Everything else will get shredded when your body changes.” I hang the bag on a small branch. “You can put them in here with mine. It stops them from getting wet if the sky decides to suddenly open up. Trust me, it sucks to go home wearing drenched clothing.”
Ash looks down at his clothes before slowly getting undressed. “Just how long have you been a wolf?” he inquires, turning away when he notices I’m stripping also.
“All my life.” Feels stupid to lie now. “I was born like this.”
“Wait, so is your dad also…”
“Ha! No, Dad is one-hundred-percent human. He found me when I was a baby. He raised me as his own, taught me how to control this side of myself, how to be a good hunter, and how to keep myself hidden.”
Fat lot of good that did though. This is the trouble with creating attachments, you feel a sense of responsibility, of friendship. I could have fought alongside them as a human, but we all would have died. Even with enhanced senses, I couldn’t have taken on that many just as a human.
Dad is going to be pissed, I’m sure, but it feels good to finally tell another person the truth about me, even if it was unintentional. The only real downside I can see here is the boys telling their father. If they do that, then my life is fucked. I will have to run, my dad too. Hell, we may have to take Ash and his mom if it gets to it.
Ash remains silent, and I turn around to see what he’s doing. He’s just sitting there naked on the ground, his gaze focused on the tree nearest to him. Most likely he’s thinking through some of the things that crossed my mind.
“Ash, you okay?”
I take a step closer when the pull builds. Ash lets out a scream, his back bowing as the moon tries to force him to shift into a wolf.
For me the shift is painless, something I’ve grown used to. For Ash, this is the first time his body will take the form of something else. I crouch down beside him, holding his hands by his sides to stop him from clawing at his chest. His body slowly changes from human to wolf.
I’ve never witnessed it from an outsider’s point of view. It’s like his skin literally shreds from his body to make way for the wolf. Is that what it looks like when I shift?
When it’s finally over, a small, deep gray wolf is in his place. I let the shift take over me, and my wolf joins his. At first, he stares at us, baring his teeth as a low growl slips between his lips.
I rise to my full height and growl back, my wolf enjoying the way he instantly cowers. I pad closer to him and playfully nip him in the side. He seems to perk up, leaping back at me.
This isn’t so bad.
I startle. The sound of Ash’s voice in my head wasn’t something I was expecting.
Ash?
Whoa? We can talk telepathically? That’s so cool.
Ah, I guess so. It’s never happened before. Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go have some fun and grab a bite to eat. I’m starving!
My wolf agrees with his sentiment, so we start to head toward the smell of water where deer are most likely to gather. Ash laughs as we trot, his happiness almost contagious. I let my wolf take over and enjoy the run.
This is the first time I’ve ever run with another wolf, and I have to admit, it’s amazing. The freedom. The connection. It makes me feel complete.
Chapter Nineteen
“That was amazing!” Ash is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as we get dressed. The hunters are long gone and the bodies of the wolves I killed were buried in a mass grave. Surprisingly, Ash actually helped me dig the hole, so we got it done a hell of a lot faster. I was a little concerned about Ash and whether or not he would be able to handle it, or if the scent of nearby humans would set off the predator side of him, but he handled it remarkably well. I think it helped that we hunted and fed on a few wild animals when we first started running. I found a small colony of rabbits not long into the run, so I gave chase and feasted on a few. Ash joined in, his maw becoming covered in blood. He washed himself off in a shallow stream, and then we pounced around for a while, each of us enjoying the company of the other’s wolf. It was so damn freeing and gave me a sense of belonging I didn’t know I was missing. Like I’m no longer alone in the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt my wolf so happy.
I love my dad and the fact he always came with me on the night of the full moon, but to be able to run with another wolf, to p
lay, to hunt, to just be me, it was such an amazing experience. For the first time in my life, I miss what I could have had being raised in a wolf family.
“Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Usually the night of the full moon, I’m the only wolf out there. It was so freeing to be with another.” I grin over at him. “How did you feel? Any sudden urges to maul the humans in the cabins?”
“Nah. When I first changed, I had this urge to be in charge of you, like I was supposed to be higher up on the food chain, but when you growled, I instinctively knew you were the one in charge. From then on, it was like I was me. Only furrier.”
I chuckle at his description. I think I said something similar to Dad when he once asked me what it was like. I feel like me, but my wolf is like a part of me, almost a mini soul within. She wants the same thing I do for the most part, but she also seems to run on instinctual desires—eat, drink, hunt, and sleep.
“You ready to head to my place? I’ve got some cash on me so we can grab the bus back.”
“You really want me to stay at your house? What about your dad? Won’t he ask questions?”
I smile over at him. “Dad knows everything. I don’t lie to him about anything. If I don’t tell him about you tonight, then I’d tell him sooner rather than later.”
Ash is quiet as we start walking down the trail to where the bus stop is. I checked the timetables to figure out how long we would need to wait. I send Dad a quick text to let him know we’re on our way. He messages and tells me to wait at the bus stop.
“My dad’s going to meet us down at the bus stop. I guess he must have turned back to wait for me.”
“Oh, cool.”
I sigh. Ash’s dejected tone is such a change from the happy one he had only moments ago. I guess I would be all over the place too. He went from being a hunter with a mother for a wolf to actually being a wolf. The poor guy is the very creature his father despises, his brothers almost killed him, and now he can’t go home—at least not until he’s got a handle on his wolf instincts. He’s dealing with so much that I actually feel sorry for him.