by Tara Brown
Her aunt’s lips moved to say something else, something cruel, but Lenny turned her head, offering her own glare. Mildred pressed her mouth into a tight line and turned on her heel, disappearing from the doorway.
“But you are done, milady.” The head dresser curtseyed.
“Thank you.” Lenny curtseyed back. “There are some candied cherries on the bureau over there. Help yourselves, please.” Lenny pointed as she hurried from the room, not bothering to inspect herself. They knew better than she did how she ought to look.
Hilde’s room was close enough that Lenny could hear her aunt complaining to her mother about her attitude as she approached the doorway. It made Lenny grin, but it didn’t deter her from entering. She rather enjoyed the way her aunt’s words cut off the moment her mother’s eyes widened in surprise. “Lenny, you look beautiful!” her mother gushed and hurried forward. But Lenny shook her head, seeing her mother’s dress. “It’s you who is beautiful.”
“I can’t believe it.” Her mother sobbed without producing any tears to ruin her makeup. “I’m finally going to see one of my girls married.” The sadness in her words was unmistakable.
“Maybe Amaya and Wen will marry in the sea, and we’ll be able to witness it from the boat.” Lenny smiled cheekily.
“Maybe you’ll stop being a child and marry Lord Ivor before he loses interest,” her aunt criticized her.
Lenny flinched but managed to not take the bait. It was Hilde’s day, not theirs.
“How do I look?” Hilde asked, interrupting as she entered the room. She floated in, her dress glowing, it was so pale and silvery. An old custom Lenny often scoffed at, the pure silver gown for the pure bride-to-be. Men might lie with everything that moved, but a lady was meant to save herself for her husband. It was the truest mark of breeding and morals.
Naturally, as Lenny rolled her eyes at it, her sisters had both taken it quite seriously. Seeing Hilde smiling softly in the spectacular gown, Lenny had to admit the tradition suited her beautiful sister.
“Oh, Hilde,” Lenny said, lifting her fingers to her lips, covering her mouth. She was a vision.
“You’re perfect, darling!” Her mother rushed her but slowed and gently took her in, careful not to move anything.
“Most beautiful bride I have ever seen, or ever will,” Aunt Mildred wiped her eyes. “Let’s make you a queen.” She smiled wide, her eyes dazzling.
Hilde nodded, her stare stuck on Lenny.
Lenny reached out, her fingers bare and callused compared to the silky white gloves Hilde slipped into her hand. They squeezed and leaned into each other as they left the room.
“I only wish she was here,” Hilde whispered once.
Lenny swallowed her words and tears until she could say the right sentence, “She is. Her heart is ours, always will be.”
Hilde gripped Lenny. Her fingers trembled a little, but she stood tall and glided as she walked, her face a picture of serenity. Because as their aunt had said, it was time to make her a queen.
Chapter 14
The wedding was the most spectacular event Lenny had ever witnessed.
Kings and queens were married in the open and pillared temple with the domed teal roof, on the water so all the gods could see.
The entire wedding procession snaked down a long set of stairs to cliffs on the northern side of the castle grounds. The wind was cool and the sky lit with the fading light.
There, with the waves splashing and the sun setting, they were married by one of the not so Silent Brothers. He spoke and sang in a language no one understood, forgotten by everyone apart from the brothers.
Lenny’s gaze found Lord Ivor sitting with the former queen, his aunt Saleen, as her escort. He was handsome and stoic, as always.
Lenny sighed, finding herself wishing things had been different between them. As torches were lit around the temple, adding to the glow of the end of the special day, she could imagine a wedding such as this. Open to the sky and the sea and the elements. The breeze toying with her loose hair and the hem of her simple dress. But with fewer people. Just her and him.
His stare flickered to hers, forcing her to glance down. Her cheeks burned.
When she looked upon the wedding again, Lenny avoided his direction and instead spent the rest of the ceremony searching the waterline for a face or two. She hoped Amaya and Wen had found their way to the wedding. The ache of missing them both was severe.
As the man stopped speaking, Hilde and Landon kissed, sealing their marriage vows as the silent onlookers erupted in applause.
Hilde lost her calm reserve, smiling wide and beaming at her husband. Landon was the same.
They left as the crowd tossed petals at them, raining white flowers into the air. When Lenny tossed hers a little something left her fingers, creating a wind that caught the petals, sending them swirling out to sea. Everyone gasped, excitedly. Lenny followed the petals with her stare, realizing when she threw them she had wished Amaya might find some. Lord Ivor grimaced in her direction, bringing a blush to her cheeks again.
Everyone followed Hilde and Landon back up the massive rocky staircase to the castle.
Lenny cursed her heavy gown as she ascended the torchlit stairs, following her still crying aunt and sniffling mother.
Lord Ivor and Aunt Saleen were directly behind Hilde and Landon, in front of Lenny’s father and uncle, thankfully making it impossible for him to turn around and see her. She used the freedom to stare at him unabashedly, noting the way his body moved. Though she found no delight in it. Instead, she mourned the loss of him. After the fight in the arena, she was certain their relationship would never progress beyond what it had been, empty words.
One sister’s heart was forever altered, one sister's heart was filling up more every day, and Lenny’s was breaking.
When they got back to the ballroom, her sadness faded as she took in the splendor of the decor and wedding party. Hilde and Landon kissed and touched, leaning into one another affectionately. Lenny had never seen her sister this animated with anyone but herself and Amaya. It warmed her to behold and she wished Amaya could enjoy it as well.
Turning in a circle as the room filled with people, she couldn’t believe how beautiful everything was. White blooms lined pale stone columns with boughs so green they enchanted all who looked upon them. Hundreds of tiny flickering candles added sparkle to the air around the massive ballroom. The floor glistened, wood so shiny Lenny had never seen its like before. Running down the middle was a heavy red carpet for her sister and the king to walk along, though they already strayed from it.
Every person smiled, every single one. Even Ivor who was standing next to a group of men, laughing and drinking.
It was exactly the happy event Aunt Saleen had wished for to distract the city and the kingdom enough that they might not notice the strangeness everywhere. Or at the very least, dismiss it for now.
They were mesmerized by her beautiful sister. As was King Landon. His eyes were wide, his brow knit with emotion, and he never looked at a single face beyond hers.
Of course, every time a well-wisher approached them, Hilde blushed and glanced down, ever the flawless young woman.
Smells of food and drink filled the space. As the feast began, the room grew too loud and joyful for Lenny to endure much longer. She was exhausted. Her head ached from tension in her neck. Her hands were stiff. And the dress her mother had chosen was far too tight in all the wrong places. There might not have been a single corset in the whole of Waterly City, yet the dressmakers managed to ensure a young lady’s figure appeared finer than it was.
Lenny’s small chest was heaving over the top as though she were Hilde, contrasting with how her waist appeared remarkably slim, she was certain it was all anyone saw. A mound of flesh put on display. A lie.
She took a couple of rolls from her plate and excused herself, slipping to a viewpoint of the ballroom she had found quite by chance during a roam through the castle.
Once there, she sat on the rock wall
or leaned rather, as the gown didn’t fully allow for sitting, and observed the first dance. She hadn’t been prepared for how much the king and queen’s first dance was a show. She watched as every person at the ball vied for a vantage point, shoving and elbowing with exuberance Lenny hadn’t expected from the cold and detached throng. Hilde and Landon didn’t seem to notice, fortunately. They were too busy staring at each other. Once it was over, the frothing mob settled back to the manners they were expected to have.
A crow flew toward her, circling before landing on a branch of a tree nearby. Its weight shifted the branches.
“You again?” Lenny asked.
The crow tilting its head, staring her down.
Here.” She tossed a roll on the ground. The bird ignored it, watching her for a moment before jumping and lifting off, fluttering to the ground to get the roll and fly away.
Lenny sighed, turning her attention toward the sea, as she always did, while enjoying the softly playing music.
The ocean didn’t glisten quite so brightly, as the moon was barely visible and not nearly as full as the last time she’d found herself at a ball such as this one. But Lenny still watched, wondering if Amaya was able to see anything of the wedding from the water’s edge. It was a distance but perhaps the merfolk could see better. And nothing in the whole kingdom could possibly glow the way the ballroom and terraces did tonight.
The song changed, the ballroom grew impossibly louder, and the graceful manners all but vanished. Lenny didn’t realize how much time had passed with her staring at the sea until she heard a voice. The sound snapped her out of the trance she was stuck in.
“How did I know you would be hiding out here?” Lord Ivor strolled casually from the hallway Lenny had snuck down to find the quiet spot.
She didn’t answer him. Instead, she braced for more fighting.
“I’ve come to ask you a question and I demand an answer.” His words were lazily spoken, rolling off his tongue a little too easily. He sat on the stone wall next to her, flumping onto it as if he weren’t in control of his body. “Why are you angry with me? How did we end up here? I don’t know what happened.”
“That’s two questions.” She lifted an eyebrow in his direction, her sharp glare focusing on his goblet.
“Yes, I’ve been drinking, Lenny. Gods, don’t look at me like that. You remind me of how my mother always scolded my father when he’d been drinking.”
Not certain if it was an insult, Lenny glanced back at the sea.
“You’ve been out here for hours. Staring at the sea won’t bring her back. You know that, right?”
Lenny parted her lips to tell him off, but he kept talking.
“I know this because I once stared at the charred remains of a country house for days after the fire.” His tone lost all the clumsiness and his story made no sense, but he continued, “Me, Benny—my beagle—and the blanket I’d slipped out to my tree fort.” He glanced at Lenny, his eyes shiny but his words careless and inelegant. “I wasn’t allowed to sleep in the tree fort. But we snuck out anyway, me and Benny. He was a puppy. We fell asleep out there, under the stars. It was a cool night. End of the summer, like this.” His eyes widened, his stare lost in the details he would never forget. “I woke to the flames. Not the sight of them, the crackle, the sound of the flames. I tried to run into the house, but the vestibule collapsed when I opened the door.”
A lump formed in Lenny’s throat, but it was Ivor’s voice that cracked.
“It was unbelievably hot. I ran to get help, carrying Benny the whole way. By the time we got back, there was no top floor. It had collapsed onto the lower floors.” He furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on the past he saw. “Nothing to be done but watch.” He nodded, slumping his shoulders and staring at the ground. “So I know what it’s like to stare at something and wish a person back to life. You have such clear memories of the moments they walked from the house, or smiled and waved or laughed with you, that you’re certain your memories alone will be enough to revive them.”
Lenny swallowed the lump, managing to squeak out a couple of words, “How old were you?”
“Nine.” He blinked and for a second Lenny pictured him as a little boy with a beagle pup in his hands. “I’ve been without them now longer than I had them.”
“They both died?”
“Mother, Father, my brother, Percy, and my sister, Lianne. Our servants all died, not one person made it out. The fire started in the middle of the night, everyone was asleep.”
“Where’s Benny now?” She had to ask.
“He passed a couple of years ago, got sick. He was my last family member from before.” His voice cracked.
Lenny blinked a tear down her cheek, not daring to wipe it away. She didn’t want him to see her crying again. She lowered her face, hiding it. “I’m so sorry, Ivor. That’s terrible.”
“It wasn’t all bad. I came to live here, and I’d been here most of the summers of my life before the fire. I knew it well and ended up with Landon and the girls as siblings. My aunt and uncle loved me as one of theirs.” He glanced at her. “There are orphans with far worse tales than that.”
“I suppose.” She furrowed her brow. “But at nine, you must have been devastated.”
“I was but pain is pain, Lenny.” He stared at her, his eyes boring into her soul. “Your loss of your brother and sister within a fortnight of one another must have been incredible. You had no time to cope with the one when the other came. And I doubt at eighteen you were better prepared for tragedy than I was at nine.”
“No, I don’t think I was.” She smiled bitterly, staring out at the sea once more. “Truthfully, I was annoyed with them all and couldn’t wait to leave home. I couldn’t wait to be free of them. And Blockley.” She sighed, feeling her next words before she spoke them, “And now I wish us all back there, never to leave again.”
“Where were you going at eighteen?” Lord Ivor laughed, his drunken state returning with a gleam in his eyes and a smug grin.
“I was going to be a traveler of sorts. An adventurer.” She laughed at herself. “I wanted to see all of Amaria. Maybe even the southern seas.”
“Well, I’d say you’ll be seeing plenty of Dahleigh as of tomorrow.” He scoffed but there was an unmistakable bitterness in it.
“How do you know about it?” Lenny asked, recalling his statement about it earlier in the arena.
“I have known all along. I’ve been waiting to see if you would tell me yourself or just sneak off. Today has answered that for me.” He sighed deeply, losing some of the venom. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going with them?”
“I was instructed not to tell a soul.”
“But you told your father and uncle the moment they arrived.” He narrowed his eyes.
“How could you possibly—?”
“What was the first thing I said about this castle?”
His words rang in her memories. The walls have ears.
“He’s my father.” She tried to defend herself.
“And I asked you to marry me. And the first thing you did was plan to leave without telling me.” The bitterness grew heavy in his tone. “Was that all a joke to you?”
“Wh-what?” She was confused by the accusation but at least the way he’d acted toward her for a fortnight was explained. She’d wounded him with her secret, something she now regretted deeply.
“Did you ladies all laugh at me pining away after you? Suffering for weeks now. Was this a plot, Lenny? Did my cousins put you up to this?” He stood, staggering slightly. “Is this revenge for all the maidens I’ve spurned? You decided to break my heart to teach me a lesson? Well, lesson learned.” He bowed, stumbling out of it. “Well played, madam.”
“What!” She grabbed his arm but he swung her away and ambled clumsily off into the hallway, leading back to the party. “Ivor! Wait!” She ran after him, reaching for his hand and spinning him when she caught him. “What are you talking about? What plot?”
He lifted a
finger to her face, taking a step to her. “You already know the first thing I learned here, trust no one. But the second thing I learned was to never show your weakness.” He lowered his face so close she could smell the wine upon his breath as he spoke venomously, “And before I met you, I didn’t have one. And the moment they figured out you were mine, they used you against me.”
“No one used me.” She stared into his eyes, observing the fire and hatred, but something came over her.
She couldn’t fight it or him or any of her feelings any longer. She reached up, cupping his warm cheeks. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispered. “I didn’t know how. I was scared you would leave with me instead of staying behind to help your cousin. He needs you.”
“And I need you.” He swallowed hard as she pulled him down to her, finishing the distance between them by standing on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against his.
He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut. But she didn’t. She watched his face relax as the rigidity of his lips softened.
He kissed back, his need growing as his greedy mouth took more and more, massaging hers as his tongue slid between her lips. His hands lowered to her back, lifting her and pressing them together. His fingers bit into places she had not healed, bruises she had earned fighting, some he had given her. But the need for his touch eased the pain, creating a different sensation, almost burning her.
Her mouth moved as did his, her tongue caressing his and her lips becoming fierce, taking what they wanted. He bit her lip, making her moan.
The sound interrupted the passion they were overcome with.
Both froze, her eyes popped open to see his. He furrowed his brow, staring at her so intently she saw the flicker of the lanterns in his stare. “Not like this. Not while I’m drunk.”
“I’m leaving in the morning,” she said in disbelief of her own words.
“Lenny, you can’t go.” He lifted his hands to her cheeks, this time gentle and soft. He was begging not telling. “Stay with me.”
“I can’t.” She gulped, hating that the kissing had stopped.